Author Topic: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling) (Read 9656 times)

macca888 · « **on:** October 11, 2009, 03:38:18 am »

So there I am, having a relaxing Saturday night with the missus and the kids, curled up on the couch watching Pineapple Express. I heard a loud noise above me, looked up to see what it was, and part of the ceiling fell down and twatted me on the head. Could you believe that the four of them were pissing themselves laughing at me? Well fear not my intrepid fellow RAWKites. Moments later there was another unearthly bang, and the rest of the fucking ceiling came crashing down all over them and the two dogs. Ha fucking ha! There's some fucking Karma for you right there! Unfortunately, none of them were seriously hurt, so I threw a chunk of plaster at one of the kids' heads when he wasn't looking. Take that, laughing boy!

So for the last few hours, I've been hastily trying to revert the living room to a habitable environment, because it looked like a fucking Baghdad Hospital after a bit of good old US friendly fire! If it wasn't bad enough that we looked like a family of earthquake survivors, some of it fell in my fucking mug of tea too. This is something that will need more than a bit of Bonjella to fix.

Anyway, in the best traditions of RAWK, while I'm busy trying to declare a household emergency and thinking about phoning the Red Cross to send provisions, Mrs Macca is busy updating her fucking facebook status and taking photos. There's probably one right now on her profile of me mouthing "put that fucking camera away" at her. So I'm looking like Fred fucking Dibnah post explosion, and she thinks she's the bastard Kate Adie of facebook.

I'm on her laptop now and I can't resize photos on it, so I can't post a pic, but I will do tomorrow. I've sent a search and rescue team out to find my computer. Bono and Geldof better put on a fucking charity relief concert for me, the big fucking turds.

MidwestWool · « **Reply #1 on:** October 11, 2009, 04:20:35 am »

I feel sorry for your wife, kids and the dogs. They got a bit of what you totally deserved.

Lady_brandybuck · « **Reply #2 on:** October 11, 2009, 05:58:33 am »

sorry, I can't help laughing at your story macca... I hope you fix your living room soon.

DJBrenton · « **Reply #3 on:** October 11, 2009, 07:37:47 am »

Good things come to those who wait. And bad things too.

jooneyisdagod · « **Reply #4 on:** October 11, 2009, 07:49:36 am »

Does this happen often ? Or have their been other instances where the roof has collapsed on your head ? Because, I don't mean to be judgmental and all that, but you really are a bit of a nutter !

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #5 on:** October 11, 2009, 09:44:15 am »

Pics or it didn't happen

royhendo · « **Reply #6 on:** October 11, 2009, 10:03:32 am »

Mate that's a nightmare. I can plaster but I ain't got no time, and I'm shite at ceilings.

Bloody hell!

dufus200 · « **Reply #7 on:** October 11, 2009, 11:14:01 am »

fucking class macca.
hope the kids are alright.

GeeFJay · « **Reply #8 on:** October 11, 2009, 12:17:38 pm »

that's quite funny ha ha

why do we as humans become amused by other peoples misfortunes?

NatD · « **Reply #9 on:** October 11, 2009, 12:19:30 pm »

Quote from: macca888 on October 11, 2009, 03:38:18 am

Well fear not my intrepid fellow RAWKites. Moments later there was another unearthly bang, and the rest of the fucking ceiling came crashing down all over them and the two dogs. Ha fucking ha! There's some fucking Karma for you right there!

Ha Ha - class mate! Great story, hope you get everything sorted!

NatD · « **Reply #10 on:** October 11, 2009, 12:22:57 pm »

Macca after last night's incident: -

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #11 on:** October 11, 2009, 12:27:57 pm »

I was straight faced until I read:

Quote from: macca888 on October 11, 2009, 03:38:18 am

Unfortunately, none of them were seriously hurt, so I threw a chunk of plaster at one of the kids' heads when he wasn't looking. Take that, laughing boy!

♠Dirty Harry♠ · « **Reply #12 on:** October 11, 2009, 12:35:34 pm »

Perhaps it was sabotage by ceiling cat

JURGENKLOPP · « **Reply #13 on:** October 11, 2009, 12:36:06 pm »

Quote from: NatD on October 11, 2009, 12:22:57 pm

Macca after last night's incident: -

I guess you either laugh or you'll cry

♠Dirty Harry♠ · « **Reply #14 on:** October 11, 2009, 12:52:12 pm »

Macca there could be a good money making opportunity in this for you

Crush the ceiling chunks into fine powder and ration it into money bags, sell it around the clubs.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, so check dis shit out, latest tricky shit on the street man. It's called 'Ceiling' fuckin' woooow man, it's called that 'cause it gets you that high, yo seriously good shit dawg no kiddin' like"

Ben_ · « **Reply #15 on:** October 11, 2009, 02:14:05 pm »

Haha

Quote from: macca888 on October 11, 2009, 03:38:18 am

Unfortunately, none of them were seriously hurt, so I threw a chunk of plaster at one of the kids' heads when he wasn't looking. Take that, laughing boy!

Brilliant.

macca888 · « **Reply #16 on:** October 11, 2009, 02:33:59 pm »

Well thank you all for your mostly unhelpful and piss taking comments. You all know that's the type of reply you would have got from me

Anyway, I've changed the thread title to add that little bit of melodrama

So here's the pics or it didn't happen bit. Just look at the gob on the Westie. She's looking up as if to say "Fuck me, nothing else is gonna fall on my head is it?"

GeeFJay · « **Reply #17 on:** October 11, 2009, 02:41:06 pm »

your place is a shithole

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #18 on:** October 11, 2009, 02:44:22 pm »

I'm amazed that you didn't post on RAWK immediately after it happened.

gerrardspetal · « **Reply #19 on:** October 11, 2009, 02:49:10 pm »

What a story, you know how to tell them

Hope you get it sorted soon.

gerrardspetal · « **Reply #20 on:** October 11, 2009, 02:51:07 pm »

Awww the dogs look lost bless them

macca888 · « **Reply #21 on:** October 11, 2009, 02:52:49 pm »

Quote from: GeeFJay on October 11, 2009, 02:41:06 pm

your place is a shithole

Fuck off you! That was after we'd tidied up.

Uhoh AureliOs · « **Reply #22 on:** October 11, 2009, 03:08:42 pm »

When I saw that picture I had the same feeling as when I go to see a film that's not quite as good as the book was. I applaud your usage of the cushion to keep your dogs paws safe

BlackandWhitePaul · « **Reply #23 on:** October 11, 2009, 03:21:34 pm »

Quote from: Matt A on October 11, 2009, 09:58:12 am

~~Good job~~ Pity the bath wasn't above you!

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #24 on:** October 11, 2009, 04:20:00 pm »

Quote from: Uhoh AureliOs on October 11, 2009, 03:08:42 pm

When I saw that picture I had the same feeling as when I go to see a film that's not quite as good as the book was. I applaud your usage of the cushion to keep your dogs paws safe

That was the dog's own idea, macca's not that clever

amir87 · « **Reply #25 on:** October 11, 2009, 04:31:29 pm »

Seen as you're all safe am I allowed to say karma's a bitch?

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #26 on:** October 11, 2009, 04:34:09 pm »

Quote from: amir87 on October 11, 2009, 04:31:29 pm

Seen as you're all safe am I allowed to say karma's a bitch?

Didnt Macca say that in the first post?

amir87 · « **Reply #27 on:** October 11, 2009, 04:37:00 pm »

Quote from: jeffiner1892 on October 11, 2009, 04:34:09 pm

Didnt Macca say that in the first post?

He was referring to the shit landing on the rest of his family

AndoNagasaki · « **Reply #28 on:** October 11, 2009, 04:56:21 pm »

Quote from: gerrardspetal on October 11, 2009, 02:51:07 pm

At first glance I thought the dog was sweeping up

Why did the ceiling fall down anyway?

JimmyGrunt · « **Reply #29 on:** October 11, 2009, 05:16:18 pm »

I take it that only the plaster came down?

Get back on your blue peter shit an get it fixed, some egg boxes, some water, some newspaper an pva, you'll be sorted in no time.

Swift · « **Reply #30 on:** October 11, 2009, 05:17:45 pm »

Thats hilarious. Hope you got a bit of Bruce Sprinsteen on.

Maggie May · « **Reply #31 on:** October 11, 2009, 05:26:26 pm »

Would you like me to make a helpful suggestion? I won't be offended if you respond "Oh please, Jesus Christ, no".

"Nookie". · « **Reply #32 on:** October 11, 2009, 05:29:06 pm »

I honestly thought you were gonne be talking about Barney Rubble..

Lady_brandybuck · « **Reply #33 on:** October 11, 2009, 05:34:02 pm »

Quote from: gerrardspetal on October 11, 2009, 02:51:07 pm

You have a big arse...

macca888 · « **Reply #34 on:** October 11, 2009, 06:21:15 pm »

Quote from: jeffiner1892 on October 11, 2009, 02:44:22 pm

I'm amazed that you didn't post on RAWK immediately after it happened.

Jen, I was hastily clearing the rubble in search of the laptop. Then I remembered, I hadn't been shot or anything

macca888 · « **Reply #35 on:** October 11, 2009, 06:22:05 pm »

Quote from: amir87 on October 11, 2009, 04:31:29 pm

Would you like to make me your gravel kneed bitch?

I'm in the middle of a catastrophe of epic proportions, and that's all you can think of?

macca888 · « **Reply #36 on:** October 11, 2009, 06:23:27 pm »

Quote from: AndoNagasaki on October 11, 2009, 04:56:21 pm

At first glance I thought the dog was sweeping up

Why did the ceiling fall down anyway?

It's right underneath our bedroom, and lets face it, it's had some hammer and rattling of earthquake proportions over the years

macca888 · « **Reply #37 on:** October 11, 2009, 06:23:57 pm »

Quote from: Maggie May on October 11, 2009, 05:26:26 pm

Would you like me to make a helpful suggestion? I won't be offended if you respond "Oh please, Jesus Christ, no".

Oh please, Jesus Christ, no! Maggie, you know I always trust your sound advice, but I've got lots of work to do and can't afford another night in the nick!

macca888 · « **Reply #38 on:** October 11, 2009, 06:24:53 pm »

Quote from: Lady_brandybuck on October 11, 2009, 05:34:02 pm

You have a big arse...

But you need a big hammer to bang a big nail in don't you?

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #39 on:** October 11, 2009, 06:26:28 pm »

Quote from: macca888 on October 11, 2009, 06:21:15 pm

Jen, I was hastily clearing the rubble in search of the laptop. Then I remembered, I hadn't been shot or anything

True, the less urgent it is, the less likely of the posting on RAWK

Author Topic: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling) (Read 9656 times)

royhendo