His nights out with celebrities are absolutely amazing.
@TheBig_Sam: Oscar Pistorious's wacky tin legs are just like a pair of shit CD racks Michael Heseltine once bought me from IKEA.
@TheBig_Sam: "I despise your politics & you give shit gifts," I once told Heseltine. "But by fuck, you have the rugged, golden mane of a mighty Chimera."
@TheBig_Sam: "Thanks," he replied, before drawing a picture of Thatcher's minge on a wall outside a pub, and screaming profanities at it. Intense man.
@TheBig_Sam: I remember walking home along the shore with Heseltine that night. He destroyed some fella with karate, just for having a Welsh accent.
@TheBig_Sam: I didn't understand it at the time. The motive. The anger. The sheer bloody violence of it all. I'm not sure I ever will, in all honesty.
@TheBig_Sam: It was one of the most extraordinary strolls of my entire life. I watched Heseltine hold the moon in his hands, and orchestrate the stars.
@TheBig_Sam: I then watched him finger a girl half his age on the beach. Kept eye-contact with me throughout the entire action. Astonishing confidence.
@TheBig_Sam: He then pushed the girl into the sand, put his hands on his hips, and roared: "Look at me, Big Sam; I'm that bad guy from 'Ghostbusters 2'.
@TheBig_Sam: Fuck me, he could make me laugh at times. Christ, I miss him. Is he dead? He's dead isn't he? Fuck me, what a waste. R.I.P Mickey H.
fucking genius that. I wonder if is book is all new work. this is my favourite story along with the bret hart sharpshooter story.
