Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[Billy The Kid]

The other thing you'll notice when you quit drinking is how much it routinizes people. It genuinely blows my fucking mind when I look around and see so many people (many of whom are smart intellectuals) allowing themselves to become enslaved to alcohol. And the sad thing is they rarely, if ever, question the complete and utter madness of it all

I'll give you an example: (This is for the benefit of those of you who are still drinking and on the fence about quitting)

Next time you're in your local, take a minute and have a look around at the regulars. Observe where they sit. Observe the way they sit. Observe the way they talk. Observe the type of conversations they have. Observe the types of stories they tell. Observe the way they interact with the bar staff. Take it all in. You'll more than likely notice that it all seems pretty familiar and quite predictable.

It usually tends to be the same blokes, sitting in the same spots, sipping the same old tipples, talking the same old bollox they always talk, complaining about the same old shite they always fucking complain about, and telling the same old tales of woe they always tell. And that's what I mean when I say routinized. You can almost set your watch by them, the poor souls. Even if you walked out and didn't come back for 5 years, it would still be the same

One of my favorite quotes is "show me your friends and I'll show you your future".

If you're the type of person who hangs around with people who like to drink, piss their wages away, tell stories about the bird they rode on Saturday night, or any other such banal mind numbing bollox, then don't be surprised if you end up a broke-ass piss-head who cant hold down a relationship. And If you keep hanging around with them don't be surprised when sweet fuck all changes in your life for the better. Just like the "regulars" in your "local", it will be a case of same shit, different day, for as long as you stay a slave to it. And that's the gods honest truth

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I have to agree Billy.

[damomad]

Remember in the days I had a local, I met a bird in and was getting all the back slaps from everyone. Swear everyone knew me in that place back then. I was thinking I was the big dog. At the end of the night she said something along the lines of "I can't believe you know these people/hang around here so much".

Took me a while for it to hit home, I was only drinking to make connections with people. Feel a community. Masked my own personality to put up with idiots.

Once I woke up, I took up going to church regularly after that and playing more social sports, neither lasted long but at least it broke the cycle.

I was embarrassed by the antics of some of them during the day. And the shite they'd talk on my social media. Came off that too in the end. Everyone's your best mate when you are boozing. Looking back now I can see the madness, not one has reached out to me in the last few years to see what I'm up to.

I've only a handful of close friends, a good family and I count my blessings everyday.

[rob1966]

Next time you're in your local, take a minute and have a look around at the regulars. Observe where they sit. Observe the way they sit. Observe the way they talk. Observe the type of conversations they have. Observe the types of stories they tell. Observe the way they interact with the bar staff. Take it all in. You'll more than likely notice that it all seems pretty familiar and quite predictable.

It usually tends to be the same blokes, sitting in the same spots, sipping the same old tipples, talking the same old bollox they always talk, complaining about the same old shite they always fucking complain about, and telling the same old tales of woe they always tell. And that's what I mean when I say routinized. You can almost set your watch by them, the poor souls. Even if you walked out and didn't come back for 5 years, it would still be the same

That's been her Ma's life for the past 30 years, same pub, never goes anywhere else. It's just around the corner from us and I drive past on my way home. Every night I see the same faces sat outside. We go in very occasionally and I can almost always tell you who will be in and where they are sat. Last year the wife's step sister and her husband Dean, who lives in Essex, came out with us to where we usually drink, her Ma tagged along with a face on because we refused to go to her local. Dean said in 20 years of coming up, they'd never been anywhere except the local because of her Ma - how sad is that?

[Billy The Kid]

how sad is that?

It's bloody tragic Rob.

What you've shared there is another perfect example of how it routinizes people. The saddest thing of all IMO is the fact that most drinkers are oblivious to the fact that they're pissing their lives away. Then again, given how alcohol is so culturally accepted, I guess its no surprise

[Billy The Kid]

Looking back now I can see the madness, not one has reached out to me in the last few years to see what I'm up to.

And they never will. Mainly because they probably still haven't realized you've left

As I say, it's a tragic fucking existence

[cowtownred]

The other thing you'll notice when you quit drinking is how much it routinizes people. It genuinely blows my fucking mind when I look around and see so many people (many of whom are smart intellectuals) allowing themselves to become enslaved to alcohol. And the sad thing is they rarely, if ever, question the complete and utter madness of it all

I'll give you an example: (This is for the benefit of those of you who are still drinking and on the fence about quitting)

Next time you're in your local, take a minute and have a look around at the regulars. Observe where they sit. Observe the way they sit. Observe the way they talk. Observe the type of conversations they have. Observe the types of stories they tell. Observe the way they interact with the bar staff. Take it all in. You'll more than likely notice that it all seems pretty familiar and quite predictable.

It usually tends to be the same blokes, sitting in the same spots, sipping the same old tipples, talking the same old bollox they always talk, complaining about the same old shite they always fucking complain about, and telling the same old tales of woe they always tell. And that's what I mean when I say routinized. You can almost set your watch by them, the poor souls. Even if you walked out and didn't come back for 5 years, it would still be the same

One of my favorite quotes is "show me your friends and I'll show you your future".

If you're the type of person who hangs around with people who like to drink, piss their wages away, tell stories about the bird they rode on Saturday night, or any other such banal mind numbing bollox, then don't be surprised if you end up a broke-ass piss-head who cant hold down a relationship. And If you keep hanging around with them don't be surprised when sweet fuck all changes in your life for the better. Just like the "regulars" in your "local", it will be a case of same shit, different day, for as long as you stay a slave to it. And that's the gods honest truth

Leaving aside the 'drink' aspect, isan't what you describe simply life?  What do you expect ordinary people to do, drink or otherwise?  What would be more meaningful in their lives?  To discuss politics in Syria or the transgender pay gap, or the 'bird they rode last week'?  If you want to get all morose about the pointlessness of existence you can go as far as you like...it's all pointless to the individual ultimately is it not?  Surely it's entirely reasonable a few blokes who have known each other for years meet up socially and talk some shit? Whether drink is involved or not.

[rob1966]

Leaving aside the 'drink' aspect, isan't what you describe simply life?  What do you expect ordinary people to do, drink or otherwise?  What would be more meaningful in their lives?  To discuss politics in Syria or the transgender pay gap, or the 'bird they rode last week'?  If you want to get all morose about the pointlessness of existence you can go as far as you like...it's all pointless to the individual ultimately is it not?  Surely it's entirely reasonable a few blokes who have known each other for years meet up socially and talk some shit? Whether drink is involved or not.

Maybe if they got out of the pub every night they'd have more interesting lives? There's a couple we know, they can't have kids, mid 40's, good jobs, every night they are in the local, the place is dying, hardly anyone goes in now, so its the same few faces.  As me and the wife has said, if we couldn't have had kids, rather than live a boring repetitive life, find things to do, we'd have weekends away, city breaks in Europe and have about 5 weeks abroad every year. Its quite a bustling little place we live, there are plenty of good restaurants you can eat out at, there are wine bars and craft ale bars, so you can at least vary where you go if you want to drink.

[Billy The Kid]

Leaving aside the 'drink' aspect, isan't what you describe simply life?  What do you expect ordinary people to do, drink or otherwise?  What would be more meaningful in their lives?  To discuss politics in Syria or the transgender pay gap, or the 'bird they rode last week'?  If you want to get all morose about the pointlessness of existence you can go as far as you like...it's all pointless to the individual ultimately is it not?  Surely it's entirely reasonable a few blokes who have known each other for years meet up socially and talk some shit? Whether drink is involved or not.

Cowtown, before I reply to your post, I just want to go on record as saying I've always enjoyed reading your contributions to the forum. You've always stuck me as being sound out and A1. So just in case we end up clashing heads here due to differing opinions, I want you to know that your opinion is one which I respect quite highly

As for my post that you seemingly disagree with: no is my answer. I do not believe that what I'm describing is "simply life". I think there's an important distinction to be made here. It's one thing to discuss political and current affairs with friends. I do it all the time. I also confide in my closest friends when It comes to dealing with the various hardships that life throws at me

That being said, however, let's not conflate things here. The people I described in my post do the things they do because they're addicted to a drug that has become (dangerously in my opinion) interwoven in modern society. As I say, it routinizes people to the point where they don't even question it. 

If you want to believe that they're sitting on those bar stools, drinking day after day, because they're "simply going through life", then far be it from me to tell you otherwise. It's just that, as someone, who has pissed many a year of my life away on said bar stools in the company of said addicts, I think I can call bullshit on this one. And I mean that in the humblest way possible

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Well, ive decided to speak to the doc about his suggestion of having my head drilled at Addenbrookes to get rid of the large bleed on my brain ( yes i do have one ). Hopefully its that thats causing the hallucinations and fits and not epilepsy which is my keyworkers worry. Cut my drinking down and am eating now. Had a good talk to myself ( dont go anywhere or see anyone really to talk to ) and no one is going to give me a magic key to change my life, only me. Life is bastard hard right now but it is for a lot of people.

I wouldnt wish this damn disease on anyone. It took my Mum, my Dad , his Mum and Dad and so on.In my family it seems to be alcohol or cancer that takes us. I sit here, day in , day out doing fuck all and im not having it anymore.

[McrRed]

Well, ive decided to speak to the doc about his suggestion of having my head drilled at Addenbrookes to get rid of the large bleed on my brain ( yes i do have one ). Hopefully its that thats causing the hallucinations and fits and not epilepsy which is my keyworkers worry. Cut my drinking down and am eating now. Had a good talk to myself ( dont go anywhere or see anyone really to talk to ) and no one is going to give me a magic key to change my life, only me. Life is bastard hard right now but it is for a lot of people.

I wouldnt wish this damn disease on anyone. It took my Mum, my Dad , his Mum and Dad and so on.In my family it seems to be alcohol or cancer that takes us. I sit here, day in , day out doing fuck all and im not having it anymore.

Jesus. A bleed on the brain would do it. Great to hear you're getting it sorted. The best of luck to you.

(It's almost another thread for how us blokes don't get medical issues treated).

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Yea, why are we such stubborn fuckers?

[cowtownred]

Cowtown, before I reply to your post, I just want to go on record as saying I've always enjoyed reading your contributions to the forum. You've always stuck me as being sound out and A1. So just in case we end up clashing heads here due to differing opinions, I want you to know that your opinion is one which I respect quite highly

As for my post that you seemingly disagree with: no is my answer. I do not believe that what I'm describing is "simply life". I think there's an important distinction to be made here. It's one thing to discuss political and current affairs with friends. I do it all the time. I also confide in my closest friends when It comes to dealing with the various hardships that life throws at me

That being said, however, let's not conflate things here. The people I described in my post do the things they do because they're addicted to a drug that has become (dangerously in my opinion) interwoven in modern society. As I say, it routinizes people to the point where they don't even question it. 

If you want to believe that they're sitting on those bar stools, drinking day after day, because they're "simply going through life", then far be it from me to tell you otherwise. It's just that, as someone, who has pissed many a year of my life away on said bar stools in the company of said addicts, I think I can call bullshit on this one. And I mean that in the humblest way possible

No chance of a rift with me Billy, you similarly are one the very best posters on the site!

I think we may be talking at cross-purposes a bit.  Sure, I totally agree that there are folks who go to the pub repeatedly with the primary goal of getting wrecked... and that's not a healthy way to live.  But I think there are a significant number going to the pub because it might be the only social interaction they have.  And can make 2 pints last an evining while conversing rubbish with each other.  See, I have no problem with that.

In fact, I'd argue that drinking patterns have evolved quite a bit since you and I were lads, and the thing to do was go to Laverys/the Bot etc and get ratarsed.  Things are changing, and my own opinion is that alcohol abuse has soared in the UK/Ireland because of the growth in cheap, potent drink supplied by offies (often at supermarkets/Bargain Booze etc) at a price way below you can buy in the pub.  To me, thats the real issue that needs tackling.

Young people knocking back 10-12 shots/alcopops at a pound a go at home before they even leave home are doing far more harm to themselves, and a fierce alcoholism epidemic among current teenagers is not going to take long in coming.  And then of course there are the 'functional alcoholics', the people in middle age who can buy 2 bottles of wine from Tescos for a tenner, which they drink at home every night, where if they went to the pub they'd only get 2 glasses for their money.  In my youth a bottle of Buckfast would likely cost the same as a decent Tesco Shiraz does now.  But nobody calls out the housewife with her Shiraz each night...  if you visited and found her necking a bottle of Buckfast you'd be having a word.

So in my view there needs to be measures taken to reduce the supply of cheap offsales booze (minimum pricing or the like).  In my eyes the traditional pub is a far less evil player.

I hope that explains what I mean!

 

[So… Howard Philips]

I'd agree with cowtown about cheap booze consumed at home being more of a threat than drinking in a pub.

At least in a pub you won't get as much booze for your buck and, if you make a twat of yourself, there will be witnesses to your shame.

I take the point about the routinezed regulars. For example on holiday in the Canaries (all inclusive holiday - never again) there were half a dozen obese, sun stroked Brits who clogged up the bar knocking back cheap spirits. Got to the stage were I had to buy a decent bottle of white outside the venue and drink my own on the balcony.

[rob1966]

I'd agree with cowtown about cheap booze consumed at home being more of a threat than drinking in a pub.

At least in a pub you won't get as much booze for your buck and, if you make a twat of yourself, there will be witnesses to your shame.

I take the point about the routinezed regulars. For example on holiday in the Canaries (all inclusive holiday - never again) there were half a dozen obese, sun stroked Brits who clogged up the bar knocking back cheap spirits. Got to the stage were I had to buy a decent bottle of white outside the venue and drink my own on the balcony.

My mother in law denied she was drunk when she collapsed and pissed and shit herself at ours last summer......

[So… Howard Philips]

My mother in law denied she was drunk when she collapsed and pissed and shit herself at ours last summer......

Well that's my theory of peer pressure out the window then.

[Billy The Kid]

I think we may be talking at cross-purposes a bit. 

I hope that explains what I mean!

I understand you fully. And yeah, you're right, I think we're talking at cross purposes. I agree that drinking culture has evolved. Personally, I think its alarming the way teenagers abuse alcohol these days but that's another story

I guess what I was trying to say in a roundabout way is that if you want to make a serious attempt to quit drinking and get healthy then certain people in your life will need to be fucked off. The drinking buddies have to be given the chop. That's step 1 in my opinion.

Forget relying on willpower or going to AA meetings. If you keep knocking around with the same group of people then you'll never get your shit together. That's a hard realization for most people to come to terms with but its the truth

You'll find out who your real friends are when you stop drinking. Absolutely no doubt about that. You'll also find that there's a big difference between a "good mate" and a "true friend". Good mates are a dime a dozen. Any c*nt can have a ball of mates

True friends on the other hand are rarer. They're the ones who will go out of their way to help and support you. They wont call you a dry balls. They wont text you on a Saturday night and tempt you into having a few pints. Your friends will give a fuck about you. Your mates wont. Which is why the mates need to be fucked off if you want to stay sober.

That is unquestionably and undoubtedly the number 1 piece of advice I would give to any person looking to quit.

[TepidT2O]

I understand you fully. And yeah, you're right, I think we're talking at cross purposes. I agree that drinking culture has evolved. Personally, I think its alarming the way teenagers abuse alcohol these days but that's another story

I guess what I was trying to say in a roundabout way is that if you want to make a serious attempt to quit drinking and get healthy then certain people in your life will need to be fucked off. The drinking buddies have to be given the chop. That's step 1 in my opinion.

Forget relying on willpower or going to AA meetings. If you keep knocking around with the same group of people then you'll never get your shit together. That's a hard realization for most people to come to terms with but its the truth

You'll find out who your real friends are when you stop drinking. Absolutely no doubt about that. You'll also find that there's a big difference between a "good mate" and a "true friend". Good mates are a dime a dozen. Any c*nt can have a ball of mates

True friends on the other hand are rarer. They're the ones who will go out of their way to help and support you. They wont call you a dry balls. They wont text you on a Saturday night and tempt you into having a few pints. Your friends will give a fuck about you. Your mates wont. Which is why the mates need to be fucked off if you want to stay sober.

That is unquestionably and undoubtedly the number 1 piece of advice I would give to any person looking to quit.

The good news about teenagers is that teenage drinking levels have fallen dramatically in the last 20 years....

[Billy The Kid]

The good news about teenagers is that teenage drinking levels have fallen dramatically in the last 20 years....

Can't help but wonder if that's due to the gradual proliferation of other types of drugs

 

[TepidT2O]

Can't help but wonder if that's due to the gradual proliferation of other types of drugs

 

They are down massively ( more than 50%) too....

All good news that...

[Billy The Kid]

They are down massively ( more than 50%) too....

All good news that...

Where? In the U.K?

[TepidT2O]

Where? In the U.K?

Yes, I would assume a similar trend in Ireland too, but that would be speculation.

[Billy The Kid]

Yes, I would assume a similar trend in Ireland too, but that would be speculation.

I don't know if it's just me, but from what I see, teenagers are more fucked up now than they were in the 90's and 00's

[Pistolero]

Teenage drug and alcohol use is down by 50%?..........where is this mystical land of which you speak?

[Hij]

Who are you trying to impress with 200 days?

Means nothing when you have your first jar

I find this to be quite an odd attack on me as you don't know me. I find it quite therapeutic to get down how I'm feeling about my life in this thread as it's certainly what I believed this thread was for. I certainly don't mean to piss on anyone else who might struggle with alcohol themselves by showing off or bragging which seems to be what you are implying as we're all on different journeys and everything in life affects us differently.

I've spent time in prison and I've had shit moments in my life so I really don't give a fuck about impressing anyone on here mate but I've always found that constantly being able to self evaluate my life has helped me since then, god knows there has been lots of time for self reflection. My intentions were only to show that I feel that I have made progress with a general life problem that I have had (with drinking alongside that) and perhaps that may embolden someone else who wants to do the same- confirm to them that it is possible to get out of a rut. I'm in a really good place now, but I spend a lot of my time convincing and helping mates and my brother to take a grip of their lives and make strong positive changes.

I felt I was in a life situation which was conducive to drinking lots and I've got a grip on it. I used to work exclusively in bars, but only 20-30 hours a week. That enabled me to earn enough to pay rent, get some food in the fridge, attend a couple of Liverpool games here and there and then sink absolutely all the rest of it because I didn't earn enough to save to get a car or something worthwhile. Bar work also allows for plenty of free drinks and is one of few jobs you can do while pissed. Plus, not having a full time job during the day meant there was never anything to get up for, which was conducive to 'why the fuck not' just keep drinking at a lock in with free beers or to drink every day because my life was pretty empty and revolved around turning up, pouring pints, being bought a couple, drinking at the end of my shift and getting into the next day. I imagine I was probably pretty depressed- though I've never seen anyone about that.

You see, I did University after prison as I was worried about getting a job with my record and being taken on as an ex drug dealer but since I came out of prison in 2011 I've always found some sort of excuse for not trying, or for continuing in the same path to nothingness. My criminal record (at least on the 'basic' check) came off in April 2016 but I used the fact that I had got a girl pregnant on a one night stand as an excuse to continue in the same routine of working in bars, being depressed, drinking excessively to remedy the depression, just getting by, not trying hard to improve my lot and coasting through life.

At the start of this year on the second of January having got involved in my sons life and now in a relationship with the girl and it going well I was sitting in a bar drinking what was left of my disposable income for the week, six months away from turning thirty and I thought to myself if I'm not going to make changes to my life now then when am I? I could be forty and still be doing exactly the same thing as I am now. And what sort of person do I want my son to grow up to see me as? And I knew I had to make real, tangible positive changes to my life- instantly.

I knocked the booze on the head for several reasons. I was drinking way too much but I put a lot of that down to the circumstances and situation of my life then and my reluctance to fight my way out a rut. The most important thing to me was that stopping drinking was a tangible positive change I could do instantly, the job and the other goals I needed to implement would have to come later. So stopping completely with no exceptions (as I was still in the same job, in the same situation that had me in the rut meant it had to be a complete 'no' to any drink whatsoever until I felt I had rectified the situation) allowed me to make a positive change for my own health.  But it also had an economical impact immediately as well. I would no longer piss my disposable income away on £4 pints all week, but I'd stick it all to one side and see what I could do trying life different while I also finally looked for a proper job. I also stopped getting the bus anywhere and would cycle everywhere as I reduced my expenditure down to only what I absolutely needed- food, and the odd soda and lime when out and about playing darts.

In the last 7/8 months, I've got a new full time job repairing phones in a phone repair shop which I do 6 days a week, I still continue to work in bars where I can so I'm often doing 60/70 hour working weeks. I've paid off my both of my overdrafts, I've purchased a car and insured it and can drive my little one and his mum around. I've saved enough money up over this year to make even more real positive changes to my life including getting us all into a flat together and while life is a continuous journey and while self improvement can never reach an 'end' - I've reached several of the goals I set out to, a lot quicker than I thought I might be able to. I've even got a lot of money in a separate savings account I set up and paid into just for Liverpool games, so I'm buzzing for the season to start.

I think my own rut and job that I had for the last two years allowed for stupid drinking rather than the other way around. I've kept up the non drinking for so long as I've continually tried to save as much money as I can to help get me, my girlfriend, our son and our daughter on the way into a flat which we will hopefully have done by the time the other one arrives and alcohol is still very expensive! But I've done it, I'm now in a much better position for me and my new family than I was at the start of the year. I was pathetic at the start of the year, I walk with purpose now and can afford to have the occasional beer before a Liverpool game, or on a Saturday night when I have a day off if I want to now and I may well do at some point in time and it certainly won't render the 200 days absolutely worthless whatsoever.

I've felt such shame and depression at things I've done in my life so I reserve the right to be proud at others.

Edit: I've noticed your other posts to Mumm-Ra. I'm sorry to hear you did a year and then struggled and continued to drink to oblivion. My brother is similar and much worse than I have ever been and also hits the spirits which I always think is a lot more dangerous to a person than beer, especially as you can drink vast quantities much quicker. He often sneaks them into bottles of coke and is someone I'm genuinely worried about being a full blown alcoholic who I know takes diazepam to help the withdrawals after large binges.

[SamAteTheRedAcid]

Great post Hij, sounds like you've really turned it around so far. Well done. Keep it up!

[Hij]

That being said, however, let's not conflate things here. The people I described in my post do the things they do because they're addicted to a drug that has become (dangerously in my opinion) interwoven in modern society. As I say, it routinizes people to the point where they don't even question it. 

It encompasses nearly all social events really doesn't it? Having a girlfriend and a son and other activities to do was something else that helped me break free of it's grasp as I have other things to do now that don't revolve around it and I'm not arsed by it, but I wouldn't mind the odd couple on a Saturday evening or before a Liverpool game after a long drive. Beyond that I'm happy with soda and limes on Thursdays when I play darts but everyone else drinks on my team.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Hij, you are doing a fantastic job mate. Keep it up.

[Hij]

Hij, you are doing a fantastic job mate. Keep it up.

Great post Hij, sounds like you've really turned it around so far. Well done. Keep it up!

Thanks lads. Like I say, it's not really about any sort of gloating or of making people feel worse in here about themselves, but that I thought some people might want to hear some positive aspects of people's relationships with alcohol as well. Crasher is right in the sense that it remains to be seen what my relationship with alcohol is like after I resume drinking later in the year, but I certainly feel like my current situation isn't conducive to drinking any more than the occasional Saturday or Liverpool game- I really don't have the time or the willingness for the hangovers during the week!

Like I said we are all different and on different paths. I wish the best for everyone who has struggled and is struggling with alcohol as I know well what that is like- as well as drug addiction as I have experienced that too with Mephedrone in 2010/2011 when I used to have two kilos of the stuff in my Dad's garage.  I'm glad they nicked me really, as I was doing 4-5 day benders without sleep on that stuff combined with booze and that's really unhealthy. They took the drugs and money off me and looking back I'm glad I was arrested as being stuck inside prevented me from doing anymore mephedrone and ruining my health and thankfully I have no interest in other recreational drugs anymore. Pity I can't ever go to the United States or Australia, but that's one of those things.

[Billy The Kid]

Hij keep it up mate

A year from now you'll be a new man completely

[damomad]

Good on you Hij, gives us all hope if you can bounce back from all that.

[So… Howard Philips]

Good strategy Hij, starting to take control of your life, planning for the immediate future, having short term objectives.

If you feel you have some control you have something to lose and drugs and/or alcohol can weaken that control and lead to loss.

Hope it works out and just keep on taking small steps. It'll take time but you seem to be on the right path.

[Crosby Nick]

I nearly made a White Knight post in your defence when I saw that the other day Hij but a) you don't need me to and b) not really my place but well done with everything you just posted.

Shame you can't go to the USA as you say but I always thought having a record was a pre-requisite for going to Australia? How times change.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Im going to say, ive decided to make a positive change. 106 Tramadol couldnt kill so im not going to let alcohol. Ill get Atreyu and focus.  Fucking sick of alcohol.

[CrasherKid79]

I find this to be quite an odd attack on me as you don't know me. I find it quite therapeutic to get down how I'm feeling about my life in this thread as it's certainly what I believed this thread was for. I certainly don't mean to piss on anyone else who might struggle with alcohol themselves by showing off or bragging which seems to be what you are implying as we're all on different journeys and everything in life affects us differently.

I've spent time in prison and I've had shit moments in my life so I really don't give a fuck about impressing anyone on here mate but I've always found that constantly being able to self evaluate my life has helped me since then, god knows there has been lots of time for self reflection. My intentions were only to show that I feel that I have made progress with a general life problem that I have had (with drinking alongside that) and perhaps that may embolden someone else who wants to do the same- confirm to them that it is possible to get out of a rut. I'm in a really good place now, but I spend a lot of my time convincing and helping mates and my brother to take a grip of their lives and make strong positive changes.

I felt I was in a life situation which was conducive to drinking lots and I've got a grip on it. I used to work exclusively in bars, but only 20-30 hours a week. That enabled me to earn enough to pay rent, get some food in the fridge, attend a couple of Liverpool games here and there and then sink absolutely all the rest of it because I didn't earn enough to save to get a car or something worthwhile. Bar work also allows for plenty of free drinks and is one of few jobs you can do while pissed. Plus, not having a full time job during the day meant there was never anything to get up for, which was conducive to 'why the fuck not' just keep drinking at a lock in with free beers or to drink every day because my life was pretty empty and revolved around turning up, pouring pints, being bought a couple, drinking at the end of my shift and getting into the next day. I imagine I was probably pretty depressed- though I've never seen anyone about that.

You see, I did University after prison as I was worried about getting a job with my record and being taken on as an ex drug dealer but since I came out of prison in 2011 I've always found some sort of excuse for not trying, or for continuing in the same path to nothingness. My criminal record (at least on the 'basic' check) came off in April 2016 but I used the fact that I had got a girl pregnant on a one night stand as an excuse to continue in the same routine of working in bars, being depressed, drinking excessively to remedy the depression, just getting by, not trying hard to improve my lot and coasting through life.

At the start of this year on the second of January having got involved in my sons life and now in a relationship with the girl and it going well I was sitting in a bar drinking what was left of my disposable income for the week, six months away from turning thirty and I thought to myself if I'm not going to make changes to my life now then when am I? I could be forty and still be doing exactly the same thing as I am now. And what sort of person do I want my son to grow up to see me as? And I knew I had to make real, tangible positive changes to my life- instantly.

I knocked the booze on the head for several reasons. I was drinking way too much but I put a lot of that down to the circumstances and situation of my life then and my reluctance to fight my way out a rut. The most important thing to me was that stopping drinking was a tangible positive change I could do instantly, the job and the other goals I needed to implement would have to come later. So stopping completely with no exceptions (as I was still in the same job, in the same situation that had me in the rut meant it had to be a complete 'no' to any drink whatsoever until I felt I had rectified the situation) allowed me to make a positive change for my own health.  But it also had an economical impact immediately as well. I would no longer piss my disposable income away on £4 pints all week, but I'd stick it all to one side and see what I could do trying life different while I also finally looked for a proper job. I also stopped getting the bus anywhere and would cycle everywhere as I reduced my expenditure down to only what I absolutely needed- food, and the odd soda and lime when out and about playing darts.

In the last 7/8 months, I've got a new full time job repairing phones in a phone repair shop which I do 6 days a week, I still continue to work in bars where I can so I'm often doing 60/70 hour working weeks. I've paid off my both of my overdrafts, I've purchased a car and insured it and can drive my little one and his mum around. I've saved enough money up over this year to make even more real positive changes to my life including getting us all into a flat together and while life is a continuous journey and while self improvement can never reach an 'end' - I've reached several of the goals I set out to, a lot quicker than I thought I might be able to. I've even got a lot of money in a separate savings account I set up and paid into just for Liverpool games, so I'm buzzing for the season to start.

I think my own rut and job that I had for the last two years allowed for stupid drinking rather than the other way around. I've kept up the non drinking for so long as I've continually tried to save as much money as I can to help get me, my girlfriend, our son and our daughter on the way into a flat which we will hopefully have done by the time the other one arrives and alcohol is still very expensive! But I've done it, I'm now in a much better position for me and my new family than I was at the start of the year. I was pathetic at the start of the year, I walk with purpose now and can afford to have the occasional beer before a Liverpool game, or on a Saturday night when I have a day off if I want to now and I may well do at some point in time and it certainly won't render the 200 days absolutely worthless whatsoever.

I've felt such shame and depression at things I've done in my life so I reserve the right to be proud at others.

Edit: I've noticed your other posts to Mumm-Ra. I'm sorry to hear you did a year and then struggled and continued to drink to oblivion. My brother is similar and much worse than I have ever been and also hits the spirits which I always think is a lot more dangerous to a person than beer, especially as you can drink vast quantities much quicker. He often sneaks them into bottles of coke and is someone I'm genuinely worried about being a full blown alcoholic who I know takes diazepam to help the withdrawals after large binges.

I apologise for my behaviour last week. I posted attacks on various forums and was subsequently banned.

I was in a horrible place at the time and can only hope it won't be held against me in future.

I shouldn't have belittled your success but I can be a narky f****r when I've had too much, for too many hours with no sleep or food.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Never belittle someones triumphs. This is as hard as fuck. Still, you came back and apologised and i wont hold it against you.

[AndyInVA]

I apologise for my behaviour last week. I posted attacks on various forums and was subsequently banned.

I was in a horrible place at the time and can only hope it won't be held against me in future.

I shouldn't have belittled your success but I can be a narky f****r when I've had too much, for too many hours with no sleep or food.

I've posted it elsewhere but will repeat it.

The biggest impact on my personal life after quitting booze was never having to say sorry to anyone the next day for my dickish behavior the previous day.

Maybe time for you to knock it on the head mate as I can imagine your short tempered with people in real life as well as on line ?

Well done for apologising, but a better idea is avoiding the bad behaviour that comes from booze

[Hij]

I apologise for my behaviour last week. I posted attacks on various forums and was subsequently banned.

I was in a horrible place at the time and can only hope it won't be held against me in future.

I shouldn't have belittled your success but I can be a narky f****r when I've had too much, for too many hours with no sleep or food.

No worries from me mate and thank you for your apology. I didn't really need to go off on a massive essay either but I did feel like I needed to explain my personal situation some more. I have been in that place you mention on occasion- and have posted stuff on here drunk that I have regretted the next day many times so let's just chalk it down to one of those things. McJacker is right in what he says though- it's another symptom of what alcohol abuse can do.

The worst thing I get now though is on Facebook the occasional "Do you remember posting this" type stuff and it'll be some emotional rant I posted to Facebook at 5am in the morning while on a bender and I feel so embarrassed at committing something like that to Facebook while inebriated. I've done it on here, but you can get away with being misty eyed about Liverpool while pissed a little easier on here than you can to your entire facebook friend list about Liverpool or politics or whatever I was focused on while drunk.  It must be so obvious that I was out of my face to anyone reading it which makes it all the more horrific to be reminded of. I used to get up the day after a binge and actively avoid Twitter, Facebook and here because of how much shite I must have written and feel that I had ruined platforms I enjoyed spending time on because I couldn't remember what I had written and was worried it would be embarrassing.  Managed to avoid some bans though.

Glad that none of that is an option for me anymore really. I wrote a bit more than this but it felt a bit self indulgent so I deleted. But yeah, I think I've been where you were when you wrote that so no worries.

[Mumm-Ra]

Having 10 days - 10 measly days - off booze and sweets, because I'm getting a bit fat. Has taken some willpower but no big deal really, just wanted to give a little trial run to a more spartan existence. So yeah, no big deal. But the thing that has struck me is the fkng incredulity from everyone around me. Like me saying I won't have a beer is just the most shocking thing in the world, that needs some explanation. These aren't the pisshead barflies that Billy talks about either, these are normal people, good friends. Just shows how ingrained it is in everyone's psyche.

As an aside, it's noticeable how well rested and focused I feel for a Monday at work, usually I'm useless.

[princeoftherocks]

"i drink because i can forget everything.  oblivion is heaven, a relief from living...."

We've got to find some interest which will take our minds from drinking.  Anything.