Thank you all for your kind thoughts, it's really appreciated.
As I think I've said before in this somewhat tragic saga, I'm not mawkish, I've always prosaically accepted that for every life there's a death, and that the older you get, that you start to experience death closely a lot more, especially in later life as people you have known all your own life, people who have seemed permanent fixtures in it like your Parents, Aunties, Uncles, and then your siblings or partners or heaven forbid, even your own children, start to succumb to the grim reaper for the usual variety of reasons, old age, illness and such.
But it's still something that gets you when it actually happens, this deep feeling of permanent loss of the familiar and the realisation that they will never return or that you will be able to talk to them or laugh or cry with them again, that their dreams and ambitions are over and possibly unfulfilled, and then the recognition with their passing that the world you have been familiar with and thought would never end is disappearing and being replaced by the new, a new that is unknown or strange to you and that can unfortunately appear uncaring or unsympathetic at times.
And so to pause to mourn and reflect and yet also celebrate someones life that's passed, especially when it's someone you are closely connected to, I think must always be the right thing to ensure closure for your own peace of mind.
But any sadness or grief is more the realisation that your fond memories of those who have gone now become just that, just memories never to be refreshed by meeting them once again, and that all you can do is try not to let those memories fade too much before it's your own inevitable turn.
Sorry, reading that back it all sounds a bit grim, it's not meant to be and I'm not depressed, honestly, and believe me, we will have a good drink after the funeral, all a bit Irish.
