Author Topic: Jokes so bad they're funny  (Read 195269 times)

Offline soxfan

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2200 on: January 11, 2019, 08:40:58 PM »
On their wedding night, the groom gave a venereal disease to his new bride.

They lived herpely ever after.

Offline soxfan

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2201 on: January 11, 2019, 08:41:54 PM »
Why did the polygamist cross the aisle?

To get to the other bride!

Offline soxfan

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2202 on: January 11, 2019, 08:43:28 PM »
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You barium.

Offline Groundskeeper Willie

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2203 on: January 12, 2019, 12:04:16 PM »
I was going to do a joke about the clitoris, but I hear that can be quite sensitive to a lot of people. 
They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

Offline 24/7

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2204 on: January 12, 2019, 01:29:18 PM »
I was going to do a joke about the clitoris, but I hear that can be quite sensitive to a lot of people. 

Whereas the reality is you just couldn't put your finger on the punchline. For me, it simply rolls off the tip of my tongue.

:wave
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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2205 on: January 12, 2019, 02:59:30 PM »
Whereas the reality is you just couldn't put your finger on the punchline. For me, it simply rolls off the tip of my tongue.

:wave
What do you call a bag of fannys?
Clitorish alsorts.
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Offline 24/7

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2206 on: January 12, 2019, 03:05:50 PM »
Okay, for sake of balance, we need a version of that joke for penises! ;)
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Offline Brian Blessed

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2207 on: January 12, 2019, 03:52:31 PM »
What do you call a bag of dicks?

The halftime thread ;)

Offline 24/7

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2208 on: January 12, 2019, 03:54:05 PM »
What do you call a bag of dicks?

The halftime thread ;)
:lmao WINNER :scarf
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Offline Red_Mist

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2209 on: January 12, 2019, 05:54:02 PM »
I saw a man in the supermarket earlier who reminded me of Michael Jackson....

He came up to me and said ‘don’t forget about Michael Jackson’...

Offline only6times

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2211 on: January 12, 2019, 07:23:41 PM »
I saw a man in the supermarket earlier who reminded me of Michael Jackson....

He came up to me and said ‘don’t forget about Michael Jackson’...

:lmao Fucks sake

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2212 on: January 12, 2019, 07:23:58 PM »
What do you call a bag of dicks?

The halftime thread ;)
;D
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Offline 24/7

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2213 on: January 12, 2019, 08:00:48 PM »
I just spotted an albino dalmatian.

Well, it was the kindest thing I could think of doing....
"Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom." - Rabindranath Tagore.

Offline bradders1011

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2214 on: January 12, 2019, 09:20:57 PM »
That's a FAB 1 :thumbup

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Laughed more than I should have.
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Offline Red_Mist

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2215 on: January 13, 2019, 09:59:16 AM »
My mate bet me £100 that I couldn't do a butterfly impression...                                       

I thought, ‘that's worth a little flutter’...

Offline Bent Signs!

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2216 on: January 14, 2019, 04:16:01 PM »
I saw a man in the supermarket earlier who reminded me of Michael Jackson....

He came up to me and said ‘don’t forget about Michael Jackson’...

ruined me  ;D
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Offline Bent Signs!

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2217 on: January 14, 2019, 04:26:53 PM »
I got a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids but when I got home they were still there
Loving Everton's business this summer. Here's an early call - they finish above Liverpool this season.
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Offline sinnermichael

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2218 on: January 14, 2019, 05:49:34 PM »
I went skydiving today. This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane and as we plummeted, he said,

"So, how long have you been an instructor?"

Offline Andy @ Allerton

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2219 on: January 14, 2019, 07:39:37 PM »
I once bought a car that was so shit, it didn't come with a warranty. It came with an apology.
Brexit. As stupid as you can imagine.

The poor voting to make themselves worse off and their masters richer.

Offline BlackandWhitePaul

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2220 on: January 14, 2019, 07:43:35 PM »
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
Ashley, Ashley
When will those debt clouds disappear
Ashley, Ashley
When will you jump in the Tyne-and-Wear
With no salad in your bowl
And no money in your coats
You can say we're dissatisfied
Ashley, Ashley
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Offline Bigly Red Richie

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2221 on: January 14, 2019, 09:39:12 PM »
 :D   slow burner.

Offline Alan B'Stard

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2222 on: January 14, 2019, 09:46:59 PM »
How many South American’s does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Brazilian.
“If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything”

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Offline Alan B'Stard

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2223 on: January 14, 2019, 09:57:13 PM »
How does a train eat?

It goes chew chew.
“If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything”

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Offline Alan B'Stard

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2224 on: January 14, 2019, 09:58:24 PM »
What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish
“If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything”

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Offline 24/7

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2225 on: January 14, 2019, 10:11:10 PM »
Get out.  :evil
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Offline 24/7

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2226 on: January 14, 2019, 10:41:29 PM »
Following the madness of the festive season, Santa's Little Helpers often suffer from exhaustion ,stress, burn out, self-esteem issues and existential crisis.

So this year, Santa is showing his caring and supportive side by giving them resources to strengthen and recharge emotionally and spiritually.

First up is his Elf Help book....
"Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom." - Rabindranath Tagore.

Offline Andy @ Allerton

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2227 on: January 15, 2019, 12:01:38 AM »
What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.
Brexit. As stupid as you can imagine.

The poor voting to make themselves worse off and their masters richer.

Offline Fitzy.

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2228 on: January 15, 2019, 07:48:23 PM »
I once bought a car that was so shit, it didn't come with a warranty. It came with an apology.
Does this post come with an apology?


:P

Offline Fitzy.

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2229 on: January 15, 2019, 07:50:29 PM »
I saw a man in the supermarket earlier who reminded me of Michael Jackson....

He came up to me and said ‘don’t forget about Michael Jackson’...
Why is this making me laugh

Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2230 on: January 15, 2019, 08:19:18 PM »
I’m developing a phobia of German sausages.

I fear the wurst...

Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2231 on: January 15, 2019, 08:22:48 PM »
My wife is always stealing my T-shirts and sweaters...

But if I take one of her dresses suddenly “we need to talk “.

Offline 24/7

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2232 on: January 15, 2019, 09:28:53 PM »
Does this post come with an apology?


:P
Oh Andy is an apology to himself, no fears.....
"Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom." - Rabindranath Tagore.

Offline King.Keita

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2233 on: January 15, 2019, 09:37:47 PM »
Son: why is my sister's name Teresa?

Dad: well, your mum loves Easter, and Teresa is an anagram of Easter.

Son: That makes sense, thanks Dad!

Dad: You're welcome, Alan.

Offline Ziltoid

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2234 on: January 15, 2019, 10:06:53 PM »
I saw a man in the supermarket earlier who reminded me of Michael Jackson....

He came up to me and said ‘don’t forget about Michael Jackson’...

Brilliant
He's got a tattoo on his wrist that says "I hate blackie blackie blackie blacks, and I fucking love handballing it into the opponent's goal and away from my own goal, and biting people, and kicking young kids in the bollocks when they ask for autographs. And diving. I fucking love that."

Offline Qston

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2235 on: January 16, 2019, 12:53:35 PM »
Son: why is my sister's name Teresa?

Dad: well, your mum loves Easter, and Teresa is an anagram of Easter.

Son: That makes sense, thanks Dad!

Dad: You're welcome, Alan.

Made me laugh more than it should
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Offline sinnermichael

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2236 on: January 16, 2019, 01:23:27 PM »
Last night my girlfriend and I watched three movies back to back.

Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

Offline LanceLink!!!!!

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2237 on: January 17, 2019, 10:21:50 PM »
Nelson was about 5ft 6ins tall. His column is 17ft 4in.

That's Horatio of 1:3

Offline 24/7

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2238 on: January 17, 2019, 10:24:26 PM »
Oh that's good :wellin
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Offline The Gulleysucker

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Re: Jokes so bad they're funny
« Reply #2239 on: January 17, 2019, 10:46:27 PM »
Nelson was about 5ft 6ins tall. His column is 17ft 4in.

That's Horatio of 1:3

Mr Pedant says his column is actually 169' 3" so Horatio should be around 1:30

But it's still funny...
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