Author Topic: Adverts you hate  (Read 54625 times)

Offline Tarpaulin

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #120 on: October 21, 2004, 02:05:59 PM »
View your favourite ads, and most hated here:

http://www.absolutelyandy.com/tvadverts/

Offline bradigor

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #121 on: October 21, 2004, 02:23:25 PM »
"Quote me happy.... Shower me in happiness!"

I'll quote you bloody happy you cacky fingered old witch! I'll quote you happy all the way down the bleedin road on the end of my boot you auld tw*t!   :no

A lad i was at college with helped do the 'wink, smile' logo for that ad when he did his work placement.  Arrogant c*nt never stopped letting us know, it wasn't even his fucking idea.

How about the BBC stole my interactive TV look for thier digital text last year, the one i did for my D&AD project  :wanker .

2 weeks after it was handed in there it was on BBCi coincedence? i think not.

And the EasyJet weapons of Mass Destraction billboard ad, was stolen from a girl in my colleges D&AD entry.

Did either of us win a D&AD award? Of course not, otherwise it would of beeen obvious that these companies are thieving c*nts, who won't even offer me a job  :wanker :wanker :upyours :no
« Last Edit: October 21, 2004, 02:26:21 PM by BBSLIM-81- »

Offline nidgemo

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #122 on: October 21, 2004, 02:36:30 PM »
which is why you shouldn't send your best work in to the D&AD unless it's already been published...

(that's why I don't win awards with them, I refuse to share my work ;))
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Offline bradigor

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #123 on: October 21, 2004, 02:46:38 PM »
Fair enough, but i was but a innocent student at the time, and it was a project specifacally for D&AD.

Never again though, never again

Offline Barney_Rubble

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #124 on: October 21, 2004, 03:00:58 PM »

The Honda one where if 'whatif' was the most popular word.

I'LL FUCKING TELL YA PLASTIC SHITHEAP MANUFACTURERS, WHATIF IT WAS FUCKOFF!

 :upyours






Tedious twats...

87:13

Offline Barney_Rubble

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #125 on: October 21, 2004, 03:02:31 PM »

And the dizzy simpleton topping up her friendly bacteria with the grey geek. :butt

You can fuckoff an all... :upyours

87:13

Offline Walshy nMe®

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #126 on: October 21, 2004, 04:23:51 PM »
I SAY CALL 0800 *insert rest of number* NOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW

DO IT NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW

ARRRGG Fuck off for fuck sake you ugly piece of shit  :upyours :wanker

Offline 5FTH

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #127 on: October 21, 2004, 04:47:26 PM »

And the dizzy simpleton topping up her friendly bacteria with the grey geek. :butt

You can fuckoff an all... :upyours



Yeah, AND that bird off the McNasty's advert that coughs or throws a shopping trolly at her husband everytime he tries to get a bite to eat... poor sod. She can do one as well!  :no

'That will be your third you know...'. The manky auld sow! What she doesnt know is, is he chows down on a kebab and 4 pints every night after giving her best mate one!


Offline Don Vito Corleone

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #128 on: October 21, 2004, 05:12:51 PM »
Any cunting Tampon advert that involves roller skating, running, jumping standing still etc


It was because of these adverts that up until i witnessed a jam rag first hand that i thought thier discharge was a blue colour, what the fuck is all that about?


"I never wanted this for you. I work my whole life--I don't apologize--to take care of my family, and I refused to be a fool, dancing on the string held by all those bigshots. I don't apologize--that's my life--but I thought that, that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the string."

Offline Kez

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #129 on: October 21, 2004, 06:42:12 PM »
Any cunting Tampon advert that involves roller skating, running, jumping standing still etc


It was because of these adverts that up until i witnessed a jam rag first hand that i thought thier discharge was a blue colour, what the fuck is all that about?



:lmao

Offline Mirra

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #130 on: October 21, 2004, 10:01:45 PM »
The Chelsea one, when they are in the pub. You can buy that horse of yours never mind back it!  :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no :no

And that prat on the same advert whos standing there with his notepad and his pen going, whats the number again? Id like to ram that pen up your...... sideways!

That other advert as well, think its another Chelsea one. When everything the bloke says, his missus goes- dont listen to him! Put her head down the toilet mate! Go on! Do us all a favour.  :wanker

Oh and there was one more, when they turned there kitchen from this, into this......... and she just so happens to be going into her kitchen and looking around at it. It looks crap darling! And as for your hubby, tell him to get out from under your thumb! Buy the friggin snooker table mate, go on, are you a man or a mouse?  :no :no :no  ;D

Ok thats got rid of it all for tonight  :wave
Mirra, 7777 wake up the thread needs you!

Offline Hemal

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #131 on: October 22, 2004, 02:21:11 PM »
DOnt forget the fucking elephant.co.uk ones

 :upyours :upyours :upyours :upyours :upyours
Make mine a large

Offline hooded claw

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #132 on: October 22, 2004, 02:24:28 PM »
And those double glazing ones- SafeStyle is it?- where some jester-clad fucking cockbatter manc  cocksucker cuntwit shouts at you about his fucking windows for two minutes

Offline Redders

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #133 on: October 22, 2004, 02:26:20 PM »
I love this thread.  :D

It's cheered me up no end, keep em coming.

Offline hooded claw

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #134 on: October 22, 2004, 02:29:16 PM »
i hate all adverts aimed at kids, particularly at this time of year. As they sit spreadeagled before the Almighty Box their heads are being fileed with all this crap, then the weakminded parents feel they're inadequate unless they cough up

Offline Liverlee

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #135 on: October 22, 2004, 02:31:53 PM »
And those double glazing ones- SafeStyle is it?- where some jester-clad fucking cockbatter manc  cocksucker cuntwit shouts at you about his fucking windows for two minutes

what the fuck is that all about? who in their right mind is gonna buy a big issue let alone double glazing from that twat?  :no

Offline hooded claw

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #136 on: October 22, 2004, 02:33:14 PM »


what the fuck is that all about? who in their right mind is gonna buy a big issue let alone double glazing from that twat?  :no

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Right on the money- he makes you wish you were canadian, and he was a helpless baby seal

Offline Monty.

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #137 on: October 22, 2004, 03:04:40 PM »
Motherfuckingcunting Hobbycraft!

What. The. Fuck.

Kill them all.
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Offline Liverlee

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #138 on: October 22, 2004, 03:16:19 PM »
Motherfuckingcunting Hobbycraft!

What. The. Fuck.

Kill them all.

When the cops catch me I'll say you told me do it, now wheres me axe  :no

Offline Anthony

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #139 on: October 23, 2004, 12:25:28 AM »
Just seen the longer version of the Three advert and it makes a little more sense.

They find the jellyfish in the desert and take it back to the office where it just sits there and the two guys are scratching their heads. One of the guys offers his drink to the jellyfish and it starts dancing...

See?  :rollseyes
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Offline Millsee

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #140 on: October 23, 2004, 12:38:44 AM »
Just seen the longer version of the Three advert and it makes a little more sense.

They find the jellyfish in the desert and take it back to the office where it just sits there and the two guys are scratching their heads. One of the guys offers his drink to the jellyfish and it starts dancing...

See? :rollseyes

I saw that. Makes slightly less sense to me now, apart from the fact that the advertising company have got what they wanted and got us all talking about it......

Offline Col

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #141 on: October 23, 2004, 12:41:50 AM »
'Let me get it, I just got a good deal on my car insurance'

'No no, let me pay, I just got a good deal on MY car insurance!'

'But I did mine on the internet!'


etc etc et fucking cetera.



That Diamond Insurance for birds advert pisses me off in many different ways, from the actual principles of the company to the shite advert, script, acting, actresses....
I don't have to sell my soul... he's already in me.

Offline Gnurglan

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #142 on: October 23, 2004, 01:48:46 AM »
Don't know what it is, but I can't stand the Playstation adverts with that damn vulture. Drives me mad every time. 

        * * * * * *


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Offline saltynuts

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #143 on: October 23, 2004, 01:51:18 AM »
whats the one that goes on for about a day, McCain oven chips is it?

in black and white, and some bird at the ends sayin all this mad shit like in the near future some mad russian will have bought chelsea ect...

fall asleep throught that advert... :upyours
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Offline hooded claw

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #144 on: October 23, 2004, 11:05:16 AM »
What is more natural, tender and spontaneous than a mother smiling and laughing with  her newborn baby?
So whay have those c*nts got that Teutonic fembot Schiffer to warn women of the peril of showing affection to your child, for fear of it giving them a wrinkle or two?
How fucking cynical and shortsighted can you be, you bastards?  :upyours :upyours :upyours

Offline Millsee

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #145 on: October 23, 2004, 11:22:03 AM »
# We are saving, we are saving#

You'll be trying to fucking save your job if you warbled like that in my office, you ugly bint.

Offline Hemal

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #146 on: October 23, 2004, 03:16:26 PM »
oh and that diamond insurance, with them 2 ladies fighting over who should pay the bill

 :wanker :wanker :wanker :wanker
Make mine a large

Offline Armin

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #147 on: October 23, 2004, 03:25:16 PM »
An old one but I still hate it:

Toyota Avensis
Alternative script Delta 3: NOT FOR DISTRIBUTION

Fade in

Bunch of prize wankers in the locker room:

Wanker 1:  'I was head hunted again last week!'

2:  'Really? Well I gave the Chairman a blow job!'

3   'I'm sure to get the promotion cos I'm the biggest c*nt in all of humanity

Ignored by the others, Mr Silent in the corner gets on with drying his bollocks.

Cut to gym entrance, wankers exiting from building still prattling,

Mr Silent (for it is he) 'Can I offer anyone a lift?'

Wankers get in Mr Silents shiny new Toyota shitewagon

1 'Oooh this is nice, its got seats n' cup holders and other related shite'

2  Getting suspicious 'This is even better than my Vectra!  Is it a company car'

3  Very suspicious now 'What exactly did you say you do?

Mr Silent presses the button that operates the manacles and window shutters and plugs the electric carving knife into one of 2 handily placed cigarette lighters.....

Wanker 1 'Ooh look!  Someone's lined the carpet with bin bags'

Fade to black and exit
Well, I don't know what it is, but there's definitely something going on upstairs

Offline Filler.

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #148 on: October 23, 2004, 04:09:55 PM »
yeah, thats shite that one..  ;D

Offline hooded claw

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #149 on: October 23, 2004, 04:26:42 PM »
An old one but I still hate it:

Toyota Avensis
Alternative script Delta 3: NOT FOR DISTRIBUTION

Fade in

Bunch of prize wankers in the locker room:

Wanker 1:  'I was head hunted again last week!'

2:  'Really? Well I gave the Chairman a blow job!'

3   'I'm sure to get the promotion cos I'm the biggest c*nt in all of humanity

Ignored by the others, Mr Silent in the corner gets on with drying his bollocks.

Cut to gym entrance, wankers exiting from building still prattling,

Mr Silent (for it is he) 'Can I offer anyone a lift?'

Wankers get in Mr Silents shiny new Toyota shitewagon

1 'Oooh this is nice, its got seats n' cup holders and other related shite'

2  Getting suspicious 'This is even better than my Vectra!  Is it a company car'

3  Very suspicious now 'What exactly did you say you do?

Mr Silent presses the button that operates the manacles and window shutters and plugs the electric carving knife into one of 2 handily placed cigarette lighters.....

Wanker 1 'Ooh look!  Someone's lined the carpet with bin bags'

Fade to black and exit


 :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao
 :wellin :wellin :wellin :wellin :wellin

Offline Millsee

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #150 on: October 23, 2004, 11:59:52 PM »
That one in the mock courtroom:

WILL I GET 100% OF MY COMPENSATION

YOU'LL GET A FUCKING SHOEING IF YOU KEEP SHOUTING AT ME. NOW IRON MY SHIRT, BEE-ACH

Offline Litherland_Leon

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #151 on: October 24, 2004, 08:17:36 AM »
that stupid old bat from the Tesco adverts really pisses me off.

Offline Andy.

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #152 on: November 1, 2004, 11:38:05 PM »
Dunno what she's advertising (might be pensions or some other bollocks) but the one that goes something like... "I'm only 43, but I still feel like I'm 17-years-old" or whatever it is. Sounds like she's from Birkenhead or something.
Annoys the fuck outta me! Am I the only person who wants to go on a mad killing spree after watching it?

Offline Jimmy10Men

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #153 on: November 1, 2004, 11:53:21 PM »
Dunno what she's advertising (might be pensions or some other bollocks) but the one that goes something like... "I'm only 43, but I still feel like I'm 17-years-old" or whatever it is. Sounds like she's from Birkenhead or something.
Annoys the fuck outta me! Am I the only person who wants to go on a mad killing spree after watching it?

Oh that is shite. Absolute fucking shite. Think its a bank advert or something, advert just has nothing to do with anything. I hate it. With a passion.

"I'm only 17, and I think I always will be".

Offline Andy.

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #154 on: November 2, 2004, 12:06:26 AM »
"I'm only 17, and I think I always will be".

Arrrrggggh, that's the line.
'Kin 'ell, where's me gun...?

Offline nidgemo

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #155 on: November 2, 2004, 10:09:58 AM »


"I'm only 17, and I think I always will be".

Really? take a fucking look in the mirror love, you're a wrinkly owl bag of shite.
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Offline bradigor

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #156 on: November 2, 2004, 11:54:38 AM »
Depends at what point she looks in the mirror...........

Amazing what CGI can do now days, for get Oil of Ulay

Offline hooded claw

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #157 on: November 2, 2004, 11:56:11 AM »


Really? take a fucking look in the mirror love, you're a wrinkly  bag of owl  shite.

containing mouse skulls no doubt

Offline nidgemo

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #158 on: November 2, 2004, 12:00:33 PM »


containing mouse skulls no doubt

Don't you have a tweed jacket needing leather patches sewn on, or something...

:evil

 ;)
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Offline hooded claw

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Re: Adverts you hate
« Reply #159 on: November 2, 2004, 12:21:27 PM »


Don't you have a tweed jacket needing leather patches sewn on, or something...

:evil

 ;)

don't you have a workmate that needs admiring? :P