Author Topic: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help  (Read 137080 times)

Offline only5times

  • a night. Founder of the Breck Road Brasses mediation service. Owner of an out of control Fat Finger.
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 11,376
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #520 on: January 16, 2017, 12:23:20 AM »
Keep talking to the therapist. The mechanics of the mind will be explained to you and the tools of training your mind how to cope with any negative thoughts will be taught to you. Go easy.
bitter,not me.a granddad,but I'm not even 40

Offline ATEAMOFCARRAGHERS

  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,049
  • Justice for the 96
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #521 on: January 16, 2017, 12:28:57 AM »
Exactly what she the therapist said. You control your mind not the other way round. Good to talk you know. Found it harder to talk to family and friends about it. Therapist instantly knew how to listen. Say the right things. Sad that I never got help as a 13 year old tho.
15/4/89 never forgotten.

Offline Arthurs Bar

  • Kopite
  • ****
  • Posts: 620
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #522 on: April 15, 2017, 02:58:41 AM »
Their is no finish line. Post-traumatic stress condems you to a circular track on which you must just keep going, round and round, for ever. All you can hope to do is accomodate your trauma into your life as best you can.

Taken from a guardian article.

YNWA

Offline McrRed

  • Member of International Hill Climbers Group. Only gets happy endings at Christmas.
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,331
  • In the town where I was born
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #523 on: April 15, 2017, 06:49:33 AM »
Their is no finish line. Post-traumatic stress condems you to a circular track on which you must just keep going, round and round, for ever. All you can hope to do is accomodate your trauma into your life as best you can.

Taken from a guardian article.

YNWA
Without help i think that is true but PTSD is not necessarily a life sentence. Therapy, NLP, EFT, (Human Given sounds interesting) have all been shown to help to reduce symptoms and, for some, to give freedom.

Offline kesey

  • Hippy - Scally - Taoist - Rafiki - Dad - Trichotomist. Hill Climber, David Cassidy Fan Club
  • RAWK Scribe
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 23,541
  • OM Namah Shivaya !
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #524 on: May 11, 2017, 01:44:39 AM »
Our kid's  gone !!!!!!

Found out not too long ago .

He who sees himself in all beings and all beings in himself loses all fear.

- The Upanishads.

He who expects freedom of speech should allow others to speak .  Me - Now.

He who sees twats really is a twat themselves - Me - Now .

Offline kesey

  • Hippy - Scally - Taoist - Rafiki - Dad - Trichotomist. Hill Climber, David Cassidy Fan Club
  • RAWK Scribe
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 23,541
  • OM Namah Shivaya !
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #525 on: May 11, 2017, 01:48:36 AM »
I mean totally fucking gone !
He who sees himself in all beings and all beings in himself loses all fear.

- The Upanishads.

He who expects freedom of speech should allow others to speak .  Me - Now.

He who sees twats really is a twat themselves - Me - Now .

Offline Billy Elliot

  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,148
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #526 on: May 11, 2017, 03:09:28 PM »
Just read about Alan Dixon.  Can't say I really know him but spoken to him a few times and was a really good laugh.  Saw him the other day and looked fine.

I've said here a few times that I don't consider myself a survivor because although I was there, I was never in danger and it's not something that affects me on as regular basis.

I did have two dreams over the weekend though.  The first one was messy, one of those dreams that didn't make much sense.  The second was very vivid.  I thought I could do something to stop it but nothing worked.  Sounds like shite that but woke up physically shaking.

Felt a bit wobbly since then and then finding out about this messed my head a bit.  Keep strong everyone.

Thoughts and prayers with the family of Alan Dicko.
With me 3 star jumper half way up me back!

Offline kesey

  • Hippy - Scally - Taoist - Rafiki - Dad - Trichotomist. Hill Climber, David Cassidy Fan Club
  • RAWK Scribe
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 23,541
  • OM Namah Shivaya !
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #527 on: May 11, 2017, 07:10:45 PM »
Just read about Alan Dixon.  Can't say I really know him but spoken to him a few times and was a really good laugh.  Saw him the other day and looked fine.

I've said here a few times that I don't consider myself a survivor because although I was there, I was never in danger and it's not something that affects me on as regular basis.

I did have two dreams over the weekend though.  The first one was messy, one of those dreams that didn't make much sense.  The second was very vivid.  I thought I could do something to stop it but nothing worked.  Sounds like shite that but woke up physically shaking.

Felt a bit wobbly since then and then finding out about this messed my head a bit.  Keep strong everyone.

Thoughts and prayers with the family of Alan Dicko.

That's our kid mate.

He who sees himself in all beings and all beings in himself loses all fear.

- The Upanishads.

He who expects freedom of speech should allow others to speak .  Me - Now.

He who sees twats really is a twat themselves - Me - Now .

Offline 24/7

  • https://soulbearing.home.blog/
  • RAWK Staff
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,880
    • 'Soul Bearing' - a very personal blog.
  • Super Title: Guru Jim
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #528 on: November 7, 2017, 04:01:32 PM »
Have just been made aware that Dave Church, father of Gary Church, passed away this morning.

Dave's response to the inclusion of Q7 and Goldring's summing up was, "I've fought for our Gary for 25 years, now I'll fight for his mates.". What a dignified and wonderfully defiant response that was.

Rest In Peace, Dave - you earned it - You Never Walked Alone.[/size]
"Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom." - Rabindranath Tagore.

Offline 24/7

  • https://soulbearing.home.blog/
  • RAWK Staff
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,880
    • 'Soul Bearing' - a very personal blog.
  • Super Title: Guru Jim
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #529 on: November 26, 2017, 07:03:28 AM »
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-42110346

Mum's last wish honours Hillsborough fans


A plaque paying tribute to survivors of the 1989 Hillsborough disaster who helped rescue fans is to be put up as a last wish of a victim's mother.

Ninety-six fans died and many were hurt after a crush at Liverpool's FA Cup semi-final against Nottingham Forest.The plaque is the final wish of the late Hillsborough justice campaigner Anne Williams, who wanted to credit those who tried to save her son Kevin.It will be unveiled at Liverpool Central Station at about 14:00 GMT.Many fans gave first aid and used pitch-side advertising hoardings as makeshift stretchers after the crush at Sheffield Wednesday's stadium on 15 April 1989.

Before her death in 2013, Mrs Williams asked her brother Danny Gordon to set up a tribute to the disaster's survivors.

Mr Gordon said it was "her last legacy".

"Being from Formby, she regularly got the train to Liverpool Central to attend her meetings for justice in town, so it's really special to have it there," he added.

Mr Gordon commissioned it after many of the survivors and families "gave their approval and expressed how much it would mean to them", a spokeswoman for the event said.

Merseyrail agreed to put up the plaque at Liverpool Central after Mr Gordon struggled to find a permanent home for it. Jan Chaudhry-van der Velde, managing director at Merseyrail, added: "It will be seen by hundreds of thousands of passengers, who will be able to pay tribute to the survivors, which is exactly what she would have wanted."

In 2016, new inquests concluded the fans had been unlawfully killed.

Earlier this year, it was announced that former Ch Supt David Duckenfield faces 95 charges of manslaughter while five other senior figures will be prosecuted over the disaster.
« Last Edit: November 26, 2017, 07:07:25 AM by 24/7 »
"Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom." - Rabindranath Tagore.

Offline 24/7

  • https://soulbearing.home.blog/
  • RAWK Staff
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,880
    • 'Soul Bearing' - a very personal blog.
  • Super Title: Guru Jim
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #530 on: November 26, 2017, 04:16:36 PM »
Covered in the Echo:

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/remember-youll-never-walk-alone-13956281






Some really powerful words in the article as well, aimed at reassuring survivors. Here's one of the statements......

“Before you leave here today, step up and touch this plaque, then tell yourself that you did nothing wrong that day and you proved it."
"Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom." - Rabindranath Tagore.

Offline Mark Doyle 79

  • Main Stander
  • **
  • Posts: 101
  • New Ross, Wexford/ Shenton Abbey
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #531 on: November 26, 2017, 10:19:01 PM »
Great that
Formerly Shanks_74. Justice is coming...in more ways than one

Offline Glorious Future

  • Anny Roader
  • ***
  • Posts: 476
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #532 on: April 15, 2018, 09:20:03 AM »
Thoughts with everyone affected.
God bless those lost.
Faith is a passionate intuition.

http://www.contrast.org/hillsborough/

Offline kesey

  • Hippy - Scally - Taoist - Rafiki - Dad - Trichotomist. Hill Climber, David Cassidy Fan Club
  • RAWK Scribe
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 23,541
  • OM Namah Shivaya !
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #533 on: April 15, 2018, 07:22:04 PM »
I've seen our kid's HJC friends over the past week or so and seen a few today at the memorial by St John's Gardens. I really never know what he had done over the years regarding helping people. I had one lad say to us crying if it wasn't for your Alan I wouldn't be here.

 :'(
He who sees himself in all beings and all beings in himself loses all fear.

- The Upanishads.

He who expects freedom of speech should allow others to speak .  Me - Now.

He who sees twats really is a twat themselves - Me - Now .

Offline The Scouseologist

  • Weak-bladdered, ultimately repentant pie-hog
  • RAWK Supporter
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,695
  • JUSTICE
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #534 on: April 16, 2018, 02:14:38 PM »
A poem I wrote last year about my experiences surviving Hillsborough as an 8 year old.

Laying there tossing and turning
Not knowing what lay ahead
Excitement reaching boiling point
As I lay inside my bed

The morning came and it was time
The candy shirt ready waiting
Mum giving me breakfast and doing packed lunches
As I sat there contemplating.

Will it be Beardsley, will it be Barnes
Will Stevie Nicol be our lucky charm
Who would be the hero of the day
To send us all back down Wembley way

And off we went we was on our way
The sun was shining it had to be our day
As any kid felt the journey felt days
Just wishing all the travelling time away

The men in car making me laugh
Pretending to put a sheep in the back
Singing songs and laughter all of the way
I cannot wait now to see the reds play

We arrive in Sheffield and the lads have a quick jar
I go through my ritual of wine gums and a Mars bar
Crossing the road without holding my mums hand
I thought I was one of the lads now not a little boy but a man.

And off we went towards the ground
Songs and chants we could hear aloud
We got to the stadium chaos everywhere
For the first time at a game I felt slightly scared.

I was handed the tickets and was soon smiling again
We saw a gate open and was told to follow in
The central pen now in sight
But still tickets in my hand that I'd held so tight

We went down that tunnel no idea what was going on
I was sat upon a bar but quickly knew something was wrong
I felt my legs numb and my chest went tight
I thought we was about to score, but I knew this wasn't right

And then I was hoisted up in he air
Struggling for breath and in despair
My step dad shouted get this kid out
People started to pass me down
Sharing his shout

I felt dizzy and scared and struggled to breathe
Hoping I could get some relief
Then came a hand that pulled me right out
I continued to hear the screams and voices shout

People lay next to me dead and barely alive
I was lucky, I had survived
I sat on the shoulders upon what I thought was a man
But he was just a boy too a fellow Liverpool fan

He told me everything was okay it would be alright
He said until we found my step dad he would not leave my sight
He was my hero and had saved my life
As many heroes in red were being made we were losing many lives.

And then I was reunited with my step dad
He took me away but had to go back
He had family and friends still in the leppings lane
He didn't know if he would see them again.

And so I was left with some Forest fans
I was given a blanket but could not stop shaking my hands
I sat and waited confused and scared
Waiting for my step dad to return

He eventually came back but was by himself
He thanked the forest fans for looking after me and we left
We headed the car but we was still alone
A family invited us in to phone back home

And then I seen him run outside
For the first time in the day the tears he did not hide
He collapsed to the ground holding his brother
I ran out and we all embraced one another

And that is my memories of that day
The biggest cover up in British history
The fans were the heroes the families our voice
The way they never give up and kept making noise

I cannot even fathom their pain
To be ignored for so long yet to come back again
To make sure the world knew what we did all along
To make sure those responsible were proven to be wrong.

I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes
I'll never truly forget those screams and cries
Time may heal but never truly will it fix
God bless all those affected
JUSTICE FOR THE 96 Xx
JUSTICE FOR THE 96
               
Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum


Offline 24/7

  • https://soulbearing.home.blog/
  • RAWK Staff
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,880
    • 'Soul Bearing' - a very personal blog.
  • Super Title: Guru Jim
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #535 on: April 16, 2018, 02:16:44 PM »
I've seen our kid's HJC friends over the past week or so and seen a few today at the memorial by St John's Gardens. I really never know what he had done over the years regarding helping people. I had one lad say to us crying if it wasn't for your Alan I wouldn't be here.

 :'(
Uff. That's got me right there.......... :(
"Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom." - Rabindranath Tagore.

Offline kesey

  • Hippy - Scally - Taoist - Rafiki - Dad - Trichotomist. Hill Climber, David Cassidy Fan Club
  • RAWK Scribe
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 23,541
  • OM Namah Shivaya !
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #536 on: April 16, 2018, 03:59:14 PM »
Uff. That's got me right there.......... :(

It got me too. I realise he had a side to him I never knew existed. To me he was our Al , my big brother that done my head in sometimes. Sometimes he had me in stitches too the mad twat. A poem for him was written for him yesterday but they never had time to read it out. I remember Sheila's words yesterday ' this time last year we stood here and remembered Gerry. This year we've lost another one Alan Dixin who was a larger than life character . My eyes welled up at that point. He was truly loved . His own anniversary is in three weeks and its going to be difficult for me. Last night I went through all my PM'S from you all when he passed on. Thanks lads.
He who sees himself in all beings and all beings in himself loses all fear.

- The Upanishads.

He who expects freedom of speech should allow others to speak .  Me - Now.

He who sees twats really is a twat themselves - Me - Now .

Offline Branno

  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 6,404
  • Melbourne Scouse!
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #537 on: January 16, 2019, 01:24:10 PM »
ok going through a tough time again now this is all again in the media....marriage breaking down ....drinking too much....cant speak to anyone face to face....no family here...wife doesn't understand....depression....and some truly emotional tributes every days on the the Hillsborough Disasters Survivors Helps Page on FB....every tribute to one of those 96 starts I expect to see one start....this was Darren Brannigan and he was my son....the guilt has started again x
"I know this is a sad occasion but I think that Dixie would be amazed to know that even in death he could draw a bigger crowd than Everton can on a Saturday afternoon"......Bill Shankly

Offline Craig67

  • Kemlynite
  • *
  • Posts: 23
  • We all Live in a Red and White Kop
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #538 on: January 17, 2019, 07:23:06 PM »
I really wish I was able to say something that could help, other than hang on in there.   

Offline 24/7

  • https://soulbearing.home.blog/
  • RAWK Staff
  • Believer
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,880
    • 'Soul Bearing' - a very personal blog.
  • Super Title: Guru Jim
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #539 on: January 17, 2019, 08:20:38 PM »
ok going through a tough time again now this is all again in the media....marriage breaking down ....drinking too much....cant speak to anyone face to face....no family here...wife doesn't understand....depression....and some truly emotional tributes every days on the the Hillsborough Disasters Survivors Helps Page on FB....every tribute to one of those 96 starts I expect to see one start....this was Darren Brannigan and he was my son....the guilt has started again x
Branno, have you every engaged with primary mental health care services about that guilt? Sounds like "survivor guilt", and I'm assuming you were were there..... I don't know your personal story and I'm not a qualified psychiatrist but it also sounds like you might have some PTSD symptoms. I also don't like offering unsolicited advice, so I won't, other than to say we're here and the key to getting through this, especially when something like the trials triggers these emotions, is communication. Is there any way in which you can help your wife to understand the issues? Has she seen any of the documentaries or read any of the books about it? That might at least help her to empathise with you and how you are feeling.

As Craig says, hang in there. You're not alone.
"Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom." - Rabindranath Tagore.

Offline Glorious Future

  • Anny Roader
  • ***
  • Posts: 476
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #540 on: April 11, 2019, 10:11:31 PM »
Survivors,
Never too late, all.

Have a look at this website.

http://www.hsa-us.co.uk

See you soon?
Faith is a passionate intuition.

http://www.contrast.org/hillsborough/