Author Topic: Make something up  (Read 8925 times)

Offline KingLoftiVII

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Make something up
« on: February 16, 2006, 01:30:47 PM »
The phrase "gone tits up" refers to the Egyptian practise of tying bluetits to helium balloons and releasing them. The birds invariably die past 20,000 ft, hence the association with misadventure.

The Edwin Starr song "War (what is it good for?)" was initially called "Water (what is it good for?)". After a record executive came up with an extensive list of uses for water Edwin changed the "ter" in the chorus to a "huuh".

Actress Keira Knightley has managed to slim down to the point where she is two-dimensional. This saves glossy magazines a fortune in photoshoots, as she can now simply be scanned at high resolution.

Any Frenchman wishing to start a family with a Polish woman risks the debilitating genetic condition known as French Polishing, which gives the unfortunate offspring's skin the appearance of teak. The disease was thought to have been eradicated until David Dickinson, Dale Winton and Des 'O' Connor tested positive at the 1940 olympics.

Offline KingLoftiVII

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2006, 01:34:53 PM »
the spectre of communism hangs over you

Offline The 5th Benitle

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2006, 02:23:39 PM »
I am the King of Spain

Offline Walshy nMeŽ

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2006, 02:26:44 PM »
I have a small penis.

Offline The 5th Benitle

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2006, 02:27:27 PM »
I have a small penis.
This is not the sarcasm thread. And if it was, you'd be lying.

Offline Walter Sobchak

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2006, 02:32:03 PM »
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.

Offline KingLoftiVII

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2006, 02:32:40 PM »
During the filming of Vanessa Feltz's "Vanessa" show, the production team scaled up the set furniture and Ms Feltz's microphone by 12% in order to make her look less fat.

Offline KingLoftiVII

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2006, 02:34:37 PM »
For the past 65 years, ever since Norris McWhirter invented braille, barnacles have been trying to communicate with the human race spelling, "we sit here stationary in peace" on every rock and harbour wall that becomes exposed at low tide.

Offline Monkey Red

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2006, 02:36:37 PM »
Wanking makes you deaf!
'It'll whisper to them of Liverpools five glorious European Cup victories"

Offline MrEcho

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2006, 02:38:31 PM »
Someone starts a decent thread about making stuff up. But coz the things he makes up are too realistic and  funny he starts it again.
The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow.

Offline Wigwamdelbert

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2006, 02:39:08 PM »
In the eighties Jan Molby was put on a strict high protein diet. This was to try to fatten him up in an attempt to distract from Kenny's wide ass.
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Offline The 5th Benitle

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2006, 02:40:41 PM »
Everton are the people's club

Offline Dread Breath

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2006, 02:41:26 PM »
Nothing I enjoy more then having a few beers and then going for a good old curl. Norfolk Island under 13's curling champion back when I was young; my brushwork is renowned even in famous curling centres like Bali: they have the southern hemisphere's biggest curling centre there - The House of Curl. You'll see my picture there just above the bar, in the trophy cabinet: I'm the one with the word "Banned" written underneath it.
Blame me for all the draft threads on RAWK

Offline Monkey Red

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #13 on: February 16, 2006, 02:53:43 PM »
I have the real European Cup in my Possession. Just before the Final I had an exact replica commissioned by a top Turkish Silversmith by the name of Ali wantsisashag.

I slipped into the Ataturk Stadium on Tuesday evening and waited for the Cup to arrive.
In a moment of slack security, when the guards went  for a kebab,  I slipped out of my hideout and swapped the trophies.

Not a lot of people know that!


'It'll whisper to them of Liverpools five glorious European Cup victories"

Offline Walter Sobchak

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #14 on: February 16, 2006, 02:54:49 PM »
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

Offline Monkey Red

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #15 on: February 16, 2006, 02:57:13 PM »
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
Which head?
'It'll whisper to them of Liverpools five glorious European Cup victories"

Offline Raffalution

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #16 on: February 16, 2006, 03:13:26 PM »
Wanking makes you deaf!

WWWWWHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!
.. and in their darkest hours emerged the red warriors, their names Carragher and Gerrard.


Offline Wigwamdelbert

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #17 on: February 16, 2006, 03:14:49 PM »
Which head?

Wouldn't matter, life's over anyway...
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Offline gibber_blot

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #18 on: February 16, 2006, 03:24:40 PM »
The University of Northumbria offers a degree in Food Studies, specialising in Biscuit Design. While jobs in biscuit design are not highly paid, the small number of places available in the degree make it highly competitive. Some notable graduates include Mrs J.T. Manus, inventor of the chocolate top McVities, and Mr. J.R. Vovo, inventor of the Iced Vovo.

Offline Monkey Red

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #19 on: February 16, 2006, 03:25:54 PM »
Taking it up the arse makes you blind!
'It'll whisper to them of Liverpools five glorious European Cup victories"

Offline Raffalution

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #20 on: February 16, 2006, 03:36:18 PM »
I can read that
.. and in their darkest hours emerged the red warriors, their names Carragher and Gerrard.


Online Welshred

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #21 on: February 16, 2006, 03:38:11 PM »
75% of stats are made up on the spot
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Offline ♠Dirty Harry♠

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #22 on: February 16, 2006, 03:42:38 PM »
Germany doesn't exist

Offline Fiend

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #23 on: February 16, 2006, 03:54:24 PM »
People who sleep on their left hand side have a 25% greater chance of suffering heart attacks in middle age

Offline Monkey Red

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #24 on: February 16, 2006, 04:04:43 PM »
Germany doesn't exist
Where the fuck am I then ???
'It'll whisper to them of Liverpools five glorious European Cup victories"

Offline the good half

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #25 on: February 16, 2006, 04:06:13 PM »
Souness tried to sign a Manchester mouse after hearing he had a run out at Old Trafford.

Offline Tim that is called Tim

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #26 on: February 16, 2006, 04:15:25 PM »
Mick jagger started world war 2.

The singer from GO WEST is renowned for hiding Ribena under his stool.
Alt8756Iam

Offline JoeH

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #27 on: February 16, 2006, 04:21:56 PM »
No chippies were actually bombed during World War II, contrary to what Stan Boardman says

Offline Buffstar

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #28 on: February 16, 2006, 04:23:53 PM »
Jose Morinho is a nice man!




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Offline Voni

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #29 on: February 16, 2006, 04:24:21 PM »
I don't exist.  I'm figment of Tom Cruises imagination

Offline Walter Sobchak

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #30 on: February 16, 2006, 04:24:54 PM »
There are men in Guam whose job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.

Offline blurred

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #31 on: February 16, 2006, 04:29:10 PM »
The hedgehog is sacred.

Offline The 5th Benitle

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #32 on: February 16, 2006, 04:29:58 PM »
Otters are close relations of alligators

Offline ♠Dirty Harry♠

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #33 on: February 16, 2006, 04:31:09 PM »
Where the fuck am I then ???

Communist France

Offline JoeH

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #34 on: February 16, 2006, 04:32:39 PM »
Men actually understand women,. but make it up that they dont to piss them off or cant be arsed!

Offline RedZen

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #35 on: February 16, 2006, 04:35:35 PM »
My dad is bigger than your dad.

Offline Lee-Block105

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #36 on: February 16, 2006, 04:36:22 PM »
i like to touch goats
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Offline JoeH

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #37 on: February 16, 2006, 04:37:03 PM »
i like to touch goats

Lets not get started on wools again!

Offline Monkey Red

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #38 on: February 16, 2006, 04:37:04 PM »
It is forbidden to eat Crocodiles legs in Communist France.
'It'll whisper to them of Liverpools five glorious European Cup victories"

Offline Buffstar

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Re: Make something up
« Reply #39 on: February 16, 2006, 04:37:47 PM »
I am really Kate Moss In a Fat suit
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