Author Topic: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help  (Read 208714 times)

Offline Shimmo74

  • Main Stander
  • ***
  • Posts: 163
  • To live and die a Red
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #400 on: April 15, 2014, 07:41:45 am »
Proud to support this club and proud to stand together with you all today. 25 years is too long to wait for justice, but   we have lived through it TOGETHER, cried TOGETHER, fought TOGETHER, climbed into the light TOGETHER and here we are 25 years later......still TOGETHER.
Rest peacefully.
JFT 96.
YNWA.
Be first rate at being yourself instead of second rate at being someone else.

Offline AJL

  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,767
  • This time one year, we'll be the Champions again
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #401 on: April 15, 2014, 08:05:28 am »
I was 11 and the semi-final was my first away match out of Merseyside. My mum didn't want to let me go but I begged and pleated and cajoled non-stop for ages. Eventually she let me go with my eldest brother.

My brother and I were so lucky not to be in the crush. A lot of my memories of that day are one massive blur, but in the chaos I recall very clearly desperately wanting to help. I was a St John's ambulance cadet and was screaming at my brother to let me try and help others, he got me the hell out of the ground asap. I was a naive little girl who thought I could save people.

 I still feel so fucking guilty for still being here. I know my brother does too but he doesn't talk about it.  I still have flashbacks, so I self-medicate with sleeping pills. Then I beat myself up for feeling sorry for myself. Anyone who got hurt, or worse, those people are no longer with us, so what right do I have to feel that way. I wasn't even injured. The poor families of our fellow supporters who died have it far far worse than I do.

I've never been back to that place, I tried to force myself to go once, a few years ago, but as soon as I get anywhere near it I can't cope. I couldn't go to a game anywhere for years after that without panicking, and Mum wouldn't let me go to any more matches until I left home.

This probably seems disjointed, it's hard to translate my thoughts into something that makes sense at the moment, please forgive the self-indulgence.

I understand exactly where you are coming from and echo many of your feelings.

x
"For a player to be good enough to play for Liverpool, he must be prepared to run through a brick wall for me then come out fighting on the other side"

#JFT96

Offline Swoop

  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,465
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #402 on: April 15, 2014, 08:23:19 am »
While my thoughts are always with the great Liverpool family I had to stop going to the service after the 20th Anniversary, it just takes it's toll.  I hope by the time we come round to the 26th we will truly have seen the wheels of Justice starting to roll properly.
Its a dogs life for me

Offline TheTeflonJohn

  • The proud owner of a moist undercarriage. Full LFC bed time attire wanker. Self-confessed CUNT.
  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 7,345
  • Atkinsons Long Leather - Atkinsons Hair Do
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #403 on: April 15, 2014, 08:34:39 am »
I was 11 and the semi-final was my first away match out of Merseyside. My mum didn't want to let me go but I begged and pleated and cajoled non-stop for ages. Eventually she let me go with my eldest brother.

My brother and I were so lucky not to be in the crush. A lot of my memories of that day are one massive blur, but in the chaos I recall very clearly desperately wanting to help. I was a St John's ambulance cadet and was screaming at my brother to let me try and help others, he got me the hell out of the ground asap. I was a naive little girl who thought I could save people.

 I still feel so fucking guilty for still being here. I know my brother does too but he doesn't talk about it.  I still have flashbacks, so I self-medicate with sleeping pills. Then I beat myself up for feeling sorry for myself. Anyone who got hurt, or worse, those people are no longer with us, so what right do I have to feel that way. I wasn't even injured. The poor families of our fellow supporters who died have it far far worse than I do.

I've never been back to that place, I tried to force myself to go once, a few years ago, but as soon as I get anywhere near it I can't cope. I couldn't go to a game anywhere for years after that without panicking, and Mum wouldn't let me go to any more matches until I left home.

This probably seems disjointed, it's hard to translate my thoughts into something that makes sense at the moment, please forgive the self-indulgence.

You`ve got every right to struggle with your emotions mate. There`s no telling what scenes of that day could do to an 11 year old child. Hillsborough emotionally affected adults who still struggle with it to this day.

As difficult as this may sound but I feel lucky not to have been there. Me, my Dad and brother had been to the semi the year earlier and stood on the Leppings Lane end, great day.

In 85 we had three tickets, one for the Leppings Lane, one for the stand above Leppings and one for the stand at the side. My dad was worried leading up to the game about us all going in different parts of the ground as I was 14 and my brother was 18.

At the time my sister was seeing Pat Van Den Hauwe (Everton`s left back) and Pat told my dad to sell his tickets and he would get us tickets so we would all stay together. My brother argued and said he was keeping his just in case (the ticket for the stand above Leppings). My dad sold the other two to someone in a boozer and Pat never got us any other tickets in the end. We were pissed off at the time that Van Den Hauwe didn`t sort us out.

My brother went the game and ended up dragging people out of the crowd from above. He`s never spoken in great depth about it, I can see it`s affected him deep down. He goes into his shell at this time of year.

I always think two things regarding those two tickets my dad sold. One is, if it wasn`t for Van Den Hauwe there`s good chance either me or my could of ended up behind that goal and two, who bought that ticket.

My thoughts go out to everyone, families and survivors of that terrible day.

Offline 24/7

  • Campaigns
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 38,270
  • Super Title: Guru Jim
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #404 on: April 15, 2014, 08:55:15 am »
My thoughts are with you all today. All those who are still struggling with what you experienced, I hope you can take some solace in the fact that the tide very much turned in our collective favour and the fight is stronger now than it ever was.

Justice for all.

Offline Millie

  • Athens Airport Queen. Dude, never mind my car, where's my hand sanitiser?!
  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 13,033
  • IFWT
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #405 on: April 15, 2014, 10:03:50 am »
This time 25 years ago I was walking into town with my 2 year old daughter.  The weather was beautiful and we did not have a care in the world.  If only we had know what was to come.  My life changed forever that day ..........
"If you can't say anything nice, don't say nothing at all"  Thumper (1942)

Justice for the 96

I'm a Believer

Offline Spongebob Redpants

  • Is a spingly spangly
  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,465
  • We all Live in a Red and White Kop
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #406 on: April 15, 2014, 11:31:28 am »
Wow - 25 years and still feels like yesterday .

RIP the 96 .
Before you criticise a man, walk a mile in his shoes. Then, when you do criticise him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

Offline No666

  • Married to Macca.
  • RAWK Scribe
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 16,720
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #407 on: April 15, 2014, 12:55:17 pm »
Thoughts with all of you who were there that day, as well as the lost 96 and their families. Five years ago, we only had grief and anger. Today, there is some hope of some justice.
YNWA

Offline kennedy81

  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 24,222
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #408 on: April 15, 2014, 01:01:40 pm »
My thoughts are with all those affected by this tragedy today. The dignity and courage of the families and friends of those lost will forever remain a source of inspiration for me.

Offline That Kennedy moment

  • "Down in 1...down in 1...or 2, 3, 4, 5, 6..... *pause* .....47, 48, 49..... *sigh*.....
  • Campaigns
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,304
  • Why I'm here
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #409 on: April 15, 2014, 01:22:26 pm »
Proud to support this club and proud to stand together with you all today. 25 years is too long to wait for justice, but   we have lived through it TOGETHER, cried TOGETHER, fought TOGETHER, climbed into the light TOGETHER and here we are 25 years later......still TOGETHER.
Rest peacefully.
JFT 96.
YNWA.

Lovely post Shimmo.

25 years ago today I was setting off for an FA Cup semi-final in the sunshine. I had no idea my life was about to change like this.

Sometimes, I think of Hillsborough as a hump-backed bridge: where I am today, I can look back and see the 19-year-old who set off for the match that morning, but not all of him made it over the bridge.

Should be in the Main Stand today, but am too ill to travel. I'll be watching on TV, and I'm sure all of you there will do us proud. My thoughts are with everybody today.

Justice.

 
'I'd rather have a quick wank, a cup of tea and read the Beano frankly.'
Cornelius, 8 September 2008

Offline scotkop

  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,054
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #410 on: April 15, 2014, 01:32:32 pm »
Thoughts are with everyone involved.

RIP to the 96.

Offline Reds Flag

  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,023
  • We all Live in a Red and White Kop
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #411 on: April 15, 2014, 01:34:48 pm »
Growing up in Liverpool, even though I was very young at the time Hillsborough and the outpourings of grief around it is one of my earliest memories. All my thoughts and sympathies go out to all those who lost and will be reliving that day today. We are all with you.

YNWA.

JFT96.

Offline Live4pool

  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,942
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #412 on: April 15, 2014, 01:43:26 pm »
Thoughts with everyone affected today.

RIP to the 96 Reds
We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.

Offline MakeUsDream2005

  • Kopite
  • *****
  • Posts: 668
  • We are Liverpool tra la la la la!
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #413 on: April 15, 2014, 02:31:22 pm »
My thoughts are with every one of you on this immensely difficult day. I speak on behalf of everybody in the Liverpool family in expressing how very proud we are of your bravery throughout the years. You never gave up, and today the country will stop and admire the heart that you have shown.
We cannot put into words the feeling of pride that you make us feel. These words epitomise the solidarity shown in the quest for justice, I hope you feel comfort in them

When you walk through the storm, hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm, there is a golden sky and the sweet silver song of the lark

Walk on, through the wind
Walk on, through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on with hope in your heart
And You'll Never Walk Alone.

Offline Rotation

  • fuck u. Rory's biggest fan.
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 5,768
  • Pepe Reina is a Scouser...
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #414 on: April 15, 2014, 02:44:57 pm »
Hey guys, just wanted to share with you something I wrote on my Facebook today. I am an American Red and have been deeply touched by the Hillsborough tragedy. I hope this helps by showing you how much we care across the globe. You aren't in this alone, YNWA...

___
I know I've put up a ton of Liverpool stuff lately, but this one regards a more serious issue that truly means a great deal to me so please take a few seconds to read...

25 years ago this very day a group of Liverpool fans went to watch their team play an FA Cup semifinal at the Hillsborough Stadium in Sheffield. 96 of these supporters never returned. They were crushed to death a the ground as a result of police negligence and Institutional policies that at the time treated football supporters as subhuman. A coordinated attack from the less than savory British press (and that is being kind) blamed the supporters themselves rather than those truly at fault. 25 years later and the fight for justice seems to be heading in the right direction. An official government inquest was opened up last year and it looks as if the families of the 96 may finally get the peace they deserve.

At the risk of sounding sanctimonious, the memory of the Hillsborough disaster and the collective fight for justice that all of our supporters have fought for tirelessly is what makes Liverpool FC more of a family than a football club. When we sing the words "You'll Never Walk Alone" it is always with those 96 souls in mind. Anyways, for those that took the time to read, I appreciate it. Please take some time to reflect and appreciate life today in honor of those that can't. Justice for the 96, YNWA.

- Will

ynwa

Offline The Fletcher Memorial

  • Feels mildly violat.................. ed
  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 7,941
  • Reality is hard to find
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #415 on: April 15, 2014, 02:53:03 pm »
This time 25 years ago, on a day exactly like today, I was working my first proper day on Greaty market. I was due to go the game with me mate and his dad but decided to help Dave (me arl fellas mate) out on his new stall. I remember us doing really well and me being knackered because I hadn’t stopped, we had the radio on and I was regretting having not gone the match as the kick off approached.

I think we were starting to pack up as kick off arrived, and as we were back and forth loading up the van with what gear we had left, kick off came, someone shouted “mon you reds”, kick off went. Then you could tell something was wrong. I remember hearing the commentator mentioning a couple of reds running down to the Forrest end and ripping off advertising hoardings and thinking “ha, fucking nutters, what are they doing” and thinking that’s all it was and the game would resume.

By the time we got in the van to go home, I said as much to Dave, still not realising what was happening and he just told me to “shut it” as he turned up the radio and we both sat there, listening, neither able to speak. For how long, I couldn’t tell you. But we drove back to Kirkby like that. I remember looking out of his Transit van window as we came down Walton Hall Avenue onto the Lancs and seeing some kids on their bikes, having a laugh, messing about and enjoying the sun. I remember the juxtaposing of that happy image with the things I was hearing. It was then it really, properly, stabbed me.

When I arrived home me arl fella was sitting on the edge of the couch, eyes raw from the tears. And I lost it then too. We sat and watched Grandstand, the images, it was real.

I can’t recall if it was at this point or later images on the news that I saw one of my mates in the practically empty pen to the left, screaming at a police officer to open the gates in the central pen. It was unreal. If I’d have gone, I wouldn’t have been in the Leppings Lane end, I’d have been in the main stand, next to the police box. But for some reason, I felt something like what you would describe as guilt. I think I always have. I hate myself for it.

In the years that followed, much to my shame, I tried to forget Hillsborough and I wanted everyone else to do the same. That went on for many years, sadly, though I did anything I could for anyone of course, and I did my own little bits, here and there, but I just wanted people to let it go. Talk about putting your fucking head in the sand, if someone like me can be like that, it’s no wonder what the rest of the country thought all those years.

Thank fuck the families and friends and reds and everyone who joined the fight for justice, didn’t feel the same. I thank and love you all.

For my 96 brothers and sisters, you’ll never walk alone.
The sky does not know of east or of west;
it is in the minds of men where such distinctions are made, and then they believe them to be true.

Offline Shady Craig

  • 'Arry's Tax Lawyer. T'riffic. Hush, hush, eye to eye. When will he, will he be famous? I can't answer that!
  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 25,272
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #416 on: April 15, 2014, 08:08:17 pm »
Wasn't there but I remember watching Grandstand that afternoon when the first news came through that there was some kind of trouble at the match. As a dumb 12 year old my initial reaction was that I was cross at the thought of the game being called off as I wanted to be confirmed finalists in 90 minutes time, I've always felt guilty about that. Obviously a minute or so later what was really happening started to emerge and I just sat there crying at the scenes on the telly.

Thoughts are with the 96, their family's and all of the survivors who were there that day, YNWA.

Offline macca888

  • Macca the Militant Illiterate Gnok. Chief Football Hack aka macca888. Jacqui Smith and Anne Widdecombe, in any order. Or together. He's not fussy. Overdue with Crosby Nick. Recently elevated to status Sir Precious C*nt.
  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 15,860
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #417 on: April 15, 2014, 09:21:35 pm »
My thoughts are with the 96, the many others who died afterwards, the survivors and all their families today.

Rest In Peace Ian, Dave, Keith and Paul

You'll Never Walk Alone.
Macca resplendent!
A colossus bestriding the
moral high ground as ever.

Offline redprodigal

  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 7,450
  • I miss you Digger, even more than Peter Thommo
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #418 on: April 15, 2014, 10:00:44 pm »
From those of us who were lucky to get out that day, rest in peace the 96. You'll never walk alone.

Offline SuperStevieNicol

  • RAWK Supporter
  • Kopite
  • ******
  • Posts: 943
  • We all Live in a Red and White Kop
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #419 on: April 15, 2014, 10:03:41 pm »
I was one of the lucky ones, I was 12 and sat in the stand next to the Leppings Lane end. I didn't know anyone who passed away but it still makes me so emotional when I think of what happened, what the families must have gone through and how 96 people never came home. I think since I became a Dad to my 2 kids it has got even worse. My lad is only 5 but he's been a couple of times to Anfield with me and the thought of going to a game with him and coming home on my own is something I cannot comprehend. I'm past caring what people think when I get upset about Hillsborough, it will always be a part of me and something I will never ever forget. Justice will never bring the 96 back but hopefully it will bring some form of peace and closure to all the families.
JFT97

Offline 12C

  • aka 54F
  • Campaigns
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 13,626
  • “The Ribbons are Red”
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #420 on: April 15, 2014, 10:36:27 pm »
This time 25 years ago, on a day exactly like today, I was working my first proper day on Greaty market. I was due to go the game with me mate and his dad but decided to help Dave (me arl fellas mate) out on his new stall. I remember us doing really well and me being knackered because I hadn’t stopped, we had the radio on and I was regretting having not gone the match as the kick off approached.

I think we were starting to pack up as kick off arrived, and as we were back and forth loading up the van with what gear we had left, kick off came, someone shouted “mon you reds”, kick off went. Then you could tell something was wrong. I remember hearing the commentator mentioning a couple of reds running down to the Forrest end and ripping off advertising hoardings and thinking “ha, fucking nutters, what are they doing” and thinking that’s all it was and the game would resume.

By the time we got in the van to go home, I said as much to Dave, still not realising what was happening and he just told me to “shut it” as he turned up the radio and we both sat there, listening, neither able to speak. For how long, I couldn’t tell you. But we drove back to Kirkby like that. I remember looking out of his Transit van window as we came down Walton Hall Avenue onto the Lancs and seeing some kids on their bikes, having a laugh, messing about and enjoying the sun. I remember the juxtaposing of that happy image with the things I was hearing. It was then it really, properly, stabbed me.

When I arrived home me arl fella was sitting on the edge of the couch, eyes raw from the tears. And I lost it then too. We sat and watched Grandstand, the images, it was real.

I can’t recall if it was at this point or later images on the news that I saw one of my mates in the practically empty pen to the left, screaming at a police officer to open the gates in the central pen. It was unreal. If I’d have gone, I wouldn’t have been in the Leppings Lane end, I’d have been in the main stand, next to the police box. But for some reason, I felt something like what you would describe as guilt. I think I always have. I hate myself for it.

In the years that followed, much to my shame, I tried to forget Hillsborough and I wanted everyone else to do the same. That went on for many years, sadly, though I did anything I could for anyone of course, and I did my own little bits, here and there, but I just wanted people to let it go. Talk about putting your fucking head in the sand, if someone like me can be like that, it’s no wonder what the rest of the country thought all those years.

Thank fuck the families and friends and reds and everyone who joined the fight for justice, didn’t feel the same. I thank and love you all.

For my 96 brothers and sisters, you’ll never walk alone.
Ahh mate!
No need to hate yourself, what you went through/ still go through, is called grief. How the families cope I don't know. If you think about following Liverpool as being part of an extended family, then like a grieving family, we are all affected in different ways. I know that some of the survivors have not been able to cope, and they are the ones whose names are not on the memorial. So many lives were shattered by this disaster, we all cope as best we can. You should not feel any guilt - you were not responsible for what happened, and no one should have had to fight a battle to get to the truth such as the one that has raged for 25 years. Every little bit helped, every little bit was a contribution. Knowing that you cared while others didn't, is what keeps it all going. I don't know what is going to happen over the next 12 months, but the story will be told, and everyone's part will be read. At least our voices are now being heard, and authority has to stand and listen.
I am glad I heard your story.
Sleep well tonight, and tomorrow continue the fight
"I want to build a team that's invincible, so that they have to send a team from bloody Mars to beat us."

Offline Garcias Sangria

  • Anny Roader
  • ****
  • Posts: 400
  • Not in The Grafton on a Friday night
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #421 on: April 15, 2014, 10:46:47 pm »
I was one of the lucky ones, I was 12 and sat in the stand next to the Leppings Lane end. I didn't know anyone who passed away but it still makes me so emotional when I think of what happened, what the families must have gone through and how 96 people never came home. I think since I became a Dad to my 2 kids it has got even worse. My lad is only 5 but he's been a couple of times to Anfield with me and the thought of going to a game with him and coming home on my own is something I cannot comprehend. I'm past caring what people think when I get upset about Hillsborough, it will always be a part of me and something I will never ever forget. Justice will never bring the 96 back but hopefully it will bring some form of peace and closure to all the families.
You and I were sat in tye same area then. I can relate to what you say.
Quote from: Owl
If some of u fucking bellends are seriously arsed about this then go to fucking sleep or knock our self out by charging straight at a wall.
It's a fucking pre season
Fuck off u twats
Quote from: Upinsmoke
Go to sleep, but it's only 2.55am

Div

Online Eeyore

  • "I have no problem whatsoever stating that FSG have done a good job.".Mo Money, Mo Problems to invent. Number 1 is Carragher. Number 2 is Carragher. Number 3 is Carragher. Number 4 is Carragher. Likes to play God in his spare time.
  • Campaigns
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 31,562
  • JFT 97
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #422 on: April 15, 2014, 10:57:20 pm »
The one time of the year I dread. Twenty five years on just the same feeling of numbness. YNWA.
"Ohhh-kayyy"

Offline Seveofthekop

  • Main Stander
  • ***
  • Posts: 89
  • We all Live in a Red and White Kop
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #423 on: April 15, 2014, 11:22:06 pm »
Just home. a little bit pissed, went to Hillsborough this morning, walked down that tunnel again, must admit it wasn't a nice feeling, we laid flowers on the pitch where we thought we'd helped people on that fateful day, steward said we couldn't leave stuff on the pitch, we just asked if he could leave our tribute until we left, thankfully he did. Don't really know what to add as feeling very emotional at the moment

JFT96

YNWA

Offline gregor

  • Partial to a Swiss Roll
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 5,692
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #424 on: April 15, 2014, 11:34:09 pm »
https://www.evernote.com/shard/s90//sh/56f17ed3-acd7-4e93-9a47-c199dff11841/aa50f3987b820c0fe21b40f579dee371

It took me 20 years to write this, but feel like it may be time to post this. Thanks. JFT96. YNWA.

I've just come across this and read it. The lad didn't post again but I hope he came back to read the reactions. That's one of the most eloquent, harrowing and moving pieces of writing I've ever read, on any subject.

Offline The Fletcher Memorial

  • Feels mildly violat.................. ed
  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 7,941
  • Reality is hard to find
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #425 on: April 15, 2014, 11:58:39 pm »
12C
Thank you,  honestly,  thank you mate.
The sky does not know of east or of west;
it is in the minds of men where such distinctions are made, and then they believe them to be true.

Offline nozza

  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,253
  • We all Live in a Red and White Kop
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #426 on: April 16, 2014, 03:52:51 am »
A word of caution, I Watched the 30/30 documentary tonight. It was harrowing, as well as inspirational. There are images and pictures and video I had not seen before. Lots of beforehand outside that set me off and took me back. Me , me dad and me brother went and all came home, i have felt guilt ever since because we got off without helping anybody, I hate this day every year but felt i had to watch. It knocked me for six...just a heads up. It is tough to watch.
Justice for the 96.

Offline 12C

  • aka 54F
  • Campaigns
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 13,626
  • “The Ribbons are Red”
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #427 on: April 16, 2014, 07:10:22 pm »
Fletch, anytime.
"I want to build a team that's invincible, so that they have to send a team from bloody Mars to beat us."

Offline Shanks1965

  • SOS member 981
  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 5,705
  • 96 friends who we all miss...
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #428 on: April 17, 2014, 12:19:55 am »
This is the first time I have posted on RAWK in a couple of years. I have posted in this thread before.

I was at Hillsborough and have talked a few times to people about my experiences. People say I'm a survivor but I don't think of myself as such. I was safe in the stands behind the goal, never in danger. I didn't survive, I was lucky. Lucky to be in the seats instead of where I normally was behind the goal. I'm 56 years old now, nearly 57. I was 31 then, going on 32. I still cant talk about Hillsborough without getting emotional. Never can. It happened again tonight. It happens every time I try to talk about it. I don't mind it, I am usually more embarrassed for the other person than I am for myself but it always happens and with each passing year it gets harder. I spoke to a Policewoman involved with the IPCC investigation the other week. I spent an hour on the phone telling her my version of events. At times I couldn't speak. I cried a lot. Why? It was 25 years ago. My mum passed away 2 months ago but I don't get upset every time I think about it. But with Hillsborough... I have never properly come to terms. Even now, typing this, I feel like some attention seeking Saddo. But its 25 years and it shouldn't still be like this should it? I don't know anyone who died that day. I never lost a family member or a friend. How those people cope that did I have no idea. I don't think I could. But when will it all end? I'm hoping with the verdicts from the Inquest. Maybe then some closure?

I might even come back here later to delete this but it just feels good to write it for now. I'll be ok again tomorrow... until the next time.

JFT96.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2014, 01:32:02 am by Shanks1965 »
Seen more titles than he can remember...

Offline Garcias Sangria

  • Anny Roader
  • ****
  • Posts: 400
  • Not in The Grafton on a Friday night
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #429 on: April 17, 2014, 12:49:45 am »
This is the first time I have posted on RAWK in a couple of years. I have posted in this thread before.

I was at Hillsborough and have talked a few times to people about my experiences. People say I'm a survivor but I don't think of myself as such. I was safe in the stands behind the goal, never in danger. I didn't survive, I was lucky. Lucky to be in the seats instead of where I normally was behind the goal. I'm 56 years old now, nearly 57. I was 32 then, going on 33. I still cant talk about Hillsborough without getting emotional. Never can. It happened again tonight. It happens every time I try to talk about it. I don't mind it, I am usually more embarrassed for the other person than I am for myself but it always happens and with each passing year it gets harder. I spoke to a Policewoman involved with the IPCC investigation the other week. I spent an hour on the phone telling her my version of events. At times I couldn't speak. I cried a lot. Why? It was 25 years ago. My mum passed away 2 months ago but I don't get upset every time I think about it. But with Hillsborough... I have never properly come to terms. Even now, typing this, I feel like some attention seeking Saddo. But its 25 years and it shouldn't still be like this should it? I don't know anyone who died that day. I never lost a family member or a friend. How those people cope that did I have know idea. I don't think I could. But when will it all end? I'm hoping with the verdicts from the Inquest. Maybe then some closure?

I might even come back here later to delete this but it just feels good to write it for now. I'll be ok again tomorrow... until the next time.

JFT96.
I know that nothing I can say will help. I was there myself when I was 11, and like you and many other people, I've never even begun to come to terms with what happened that day. I was brought up in a ''shut up and get on with it'' type of household, and so I attempted to do exactly that. I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you should be coping better by now, we've not had ''closure'' and so it's difficult to begin to heal.

Not somehow finding a way to deal with what happened has led to a lot of problems later in life; it's built up to the point where it is toxic and I feel ready to burst. For me it's like continually sticking a plaster on an open wound - it stops some of the flow but doesn't do anything to solve the problem in the long term. That's an awful analogy, I know,  but I hope it makes sense.

I understand completely what you mean about being lucky - that's exactly how  think of myself and my brother, and then I wonder why on earth it wasn't us, why was it other people,  and isn't it unfathomable that people died and were seriously injured while my brother and I got out with barely a scratch. Then I  think of the families and kick myself up the backside for being emotional. I know that there is nothing wrong with showing emotion but, in my head, it seems crass  for me to whine about what I experienced when others had it so much worse.

One thing I do know is that you are definitely not ''an attention seeking Saddo''. You're a human being who went through a terribly traumatic experience. Other people suffered, and their families and mates are still suffering a lot worse, but that doesn't mean that you didn't suffer too in a different way. I totally understand the feelings of pure guilt and turmoil, it is a vicious circle.

I wish I had some wise words to offer, but I don't. I don't know how to deal with these things myself after all these years, but please know you are most certainly not alone. A lot of us share your feelings. I hope we all find ways of dealing with our demons, whatever those ways may be. Take care mate.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2014, 01:01:08 am by Garcias Sangria »
Quote from: Owl
If some of u fucking bellends are seriously arsed about this then go to fucking sleep or knock our self out by charging straight at a wall.
It's a fucking pre season
Fuck off u twats
Quote from: Upinsmoke
Go to sleep, but it's only 2.55am

Div

Offline Branno

  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 6,441
  • Melbourne Scouse!
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #430 on: April 17, 2014, 05:35:28 am »
This is the first time I have posted on RAWK in a couple of years. I have posted in this thread before.

I was at Hillsborough and have talked a few times to people about my experiences. People say I'm a survivor but I don't think of myself as such. I was safe in the stands behind the goal, never in danger. I didn't survive, I was lucky. Lucky to be in the seats instead of where I normally was behind the goal. I'm 56 years old now, nearly 57. I was 31 then, going on 32. I still cant talk about Hillsborough without getting emotional. Never can. It happened again tonight. It happens every time I try to talk about it. I don't mind it, I am usually more embarrassed for the other person than I am for myself but it always happens and with each passing year it gets harder. I spoke to a Policewoman involved with the IPCC investigation the other week. I spent an hour on the phone telling her my version of events. At times I couldn't speak. I cried a lot. Why? It was 25 years ago. My mum passed away 2 months ago but I don't get upset every time I think about it. But with Hillsborough... I have never properly come to terms. Even now, typing this, I feel like some attention seeking Saddo. But its 25 years and it shouldn't still be like this should it? I don't know anyone who died that day. I never lost a family member or a friend. How those people cope that did I have no idea. I don't think I could. But when will it all end? I'm hoping with the verdicts from the Inquest. Maybe then some closure?

I might even come back here later to delete this but it just feels good to write it for now. I'll be ok again tomorrow... until the next time.

JFT96.

Do not delete....IM me if you ever want to talk. It took me 20 years and you are taking the first steps. Don't bottle it any more....believe me, Im here any time  :wave.....please
"I know this is a sad occasion but I think that Dixie would be amazed to know that even in death he could draw a bigger crowd than Everton can on a Saturday afternoon"......Bill Shankly

Offline The Tenacious Kennedy

  • Determined to end the Lies. Don't f*ck with this cat!
  • Campaigns
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 6,169
  • "They were organised; we were not"
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #431 on: April 17, 2014, 10:11:19 am »
Tony Evans, chief football writer for the Times, tweeting some interesting stuff about his Hillsborough experience.  He is obviously deeply affected by it

Worth a look

https://twitter.com/tonyevanstimes/status/456255662574415872
Follow me on Twitter @wrong_kennedy

Offline Branno

  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 6,441
  • Melbourne Scouse!
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #432 on: April 17, 2014, 02:50:12 pm »
Wow...just watched the espn doco on this. Need to talk to someone please
"I know this is a sad occasion but I think that Dixie would be amazed to know that even in death he could draw a bigger crowd than Everton can on a Saturday afternoon"......Bill Shankly

Offline 12C

  • aka 54F
  • Campaigns
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 13,626
  • “The Ribbons are Red”
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #433 on: April 17, 2014, 03:19:37 pm »
Branno, you OK fella?
Assume you are in Oz.
give a shout if you want to let off steam
"I want to build a team that's invincible, so that they have to send a team from bloody Mars to beat us."

Offline AJL

  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,767
  • This time one year, we'll be the Champions again
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #434 on: April 17, 2014, 04:46:12 pm »
Wow...just watched the espn doco on this. Need to talk to someone please

Branno, i'm no use anyone in that capacity mate as I still have too many questions that I cant answer, and too much anger to be a rational conversationalist over the tragedy.

Hopefully you find someone who can listen/talk/advise as you need, be strong brother.

JFT96
"For a player to be good enough to play for Liverpool, he must be prepared to run through a brick wall for me then come out fighting on the other side"

#JFT96

Offline The Tenacious Kennedy

  • Determined to end the Lies. Don't f*ck with this cat!
  • Campaigns
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 6,169
  • "They were organised; we were not"
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #435 on: April 17, 2014, 08:10:04 pm »
Wow...just watched the espn doco on this. Need to talk to someone please

Hi Branno

What parts of the documentary got to you?
Follow me on Twitter @wrong_kennedy

Offline 12C

  • aka 54F
  • Campaigns
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 13,626
  • “The Ribbons are Red”
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #436 on: April 17, 2014, 11:20:03 pm »
Branno, let us know if you are OK. Will look in the morning (uk time!) to see if you have checked in. Take care mate!
"I want to build a team that's invincible, so that they have to send a team from bloody Mars to beat us."

Offline iAnfieldRoad

  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,126
  • JUSTICE IS COMING
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #437 on: April 17, 2014, 11:58:51 pm »
In 1989 i was friendly with folk from kensington in liverpool who were season ticket holders and the first thing i did when i saw the disaster unfold at hillsborough was to find a phone and call my friends.To my relief some of them hadnt managed to get tickets and those who did got them for the main stand.I was happy that they were ok but devastated at what had happened to fellow reds.Ever since that fateful day i cry whenever the service is on or anything is on the telly about fight for justice.Its just the way i am as liverppol is very much part of my life and in my blood even though i stay in scotland.I am proud of every single family of the 96,survivors,supporters and the football club for the magnificent fight for justice against the establishment.YNWA JFT 96
Justice for the 97
You`ll never walk alone

Online andy07

  • Shat himself
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,915
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #438 on: April 18, 2014, 12:03:28 am »
Went to Hillsborough with my girlfriend who was only 5ft1ins.  Had tickets for the Leppings Lane but decided to swap them because of my previous experience on that terrace in 1980 against Arsenal, being pinned on a barrier.   Also knew she wouldn't get a decent view.  Stood outside the South Stand from 2pm until 2.45pm and eventually swapped our tickets for the North Stand.  Always wondered what happened to the two who took our tickets.   I would have headed straight behind the goal if we had gone on The Leppings Lane.  Always felt sort of guilty for swapping.  Would like to know that those that we gave our tickets to were safe.  Never done this sort of exchange at any other game and been to more than 1000 matches.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2014, 12:58:25 pm by andy07 »
We are Loyal Supporters

Offline mccred

  • RAWK Supporter
  • Legacy Fan
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,429
Re: Survivors: Talk about it, share it, we'll try to help
« Reply #439 on: April 18, 2014, 09:55:14 am »
A word of caution, I Watched the 30/30 documentary tonight. It was harrowing, as well as inspirational. There are images and pictures and video I had not seen before. Lots of beforehand outside that set me off and took me back. Me , me dad and me brother went and all came home, i have felt guilt ever since because we got off without helping anybody, I hate this day every year but felt i had to watch. It knocked me for six...just a heads up. It is tough to watch.
Justice for the 96.

Yeah I decided to download and watch this last night. As you say its very harrowing at times and brought back some horrendous memories but its also very inspirational.
I never been able to bring myself to read Phil Scratton's book, so had no idea about why Duckenfield was suddenly parachuted in, to take charge of the match.
But Fuck me! Not going to discuss it because for obvious reasons with the inquests being held, I don't won't to say anything out of place. I guess this will be shown on British TV once the inquest are over. 
A word of warning, if you know anyone who was badly involved then, even though faces are smeared out, if you know/knew them, then you'll probably know who some of the people are, who's shown in some very vivid pictures. Its harrowing to say the least.
But its also very inspirational, especially now we know what has happened since the HIP report. Personally I feel better for watching it but others may not?
Don't Ever,Ever Buy The S*n. Fucking Tory Scum.

FUCK OFF PUTIN!