News of the World Tapes just out:
Ring ring
"Hello'
"Hello Shaqiri, this is the Special One, i want to build Man U around your unique talents come to the house of dreams"
"Fuck Off, Wanker."
"But i am the special one"
"If you call me again my Kloppfriends gonna beat you up now fuck off i said."
Click.
"Ed, Ed, I need two Ed why does everybody spit the ground and call me fuckoff i must have two ED dont spit the ground Ed what do you mean fuckoff Ed i am the special One Ed? ED? are you still there? call Zare-Dan back he was joking with us. give him more money Hello? "
Tape ends