"I'm not really foreign, you know. I just do it to appear more sophisticated. I mean, nobody'd buy Evian water if it was called Blackburn water, would they? Nobody'd wear Kicker boots if they were made in Scunthorpe! ABBA? ABBA, Swedish? I knew them when they were a Lancashire clog-dancing trio! Arthur, Betty, Boris, and Angela! Solzhenitsyn, Solzhenitsyn? A former pipe-fitter welder from Harrogate!"