Author Topic: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson (Read 105484 times)

Zlen · « **Reply #200 on:** December 13, 2010, 03:46:52 pm »

Quote from: Dr Manhattan on December 13, 2010, 03:36:30 pm

Deck The Hodge

Deck the Hodge and slap Konchesky
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
This is worse than watching Heskey
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fuck Insua and Alberto
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
There's these two lads who I do know
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

They're both old and utter dogshit
Fa la la la la, la la la la,
But my knob they'll surely nosh it
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Poulsen looks just like a lezbo
Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
Must have bought him from the Netto
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Play Meireles as a winger
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Then rub your face and smell your fingers
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Wish you'd fuck off back to Fulham
Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
'fore my heart slips out my rectum
Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaaaaaa!!

Great, just great...

jacqqq · « **Reply #201 on:** December 13, 2010, 03:53:38 pm »

Quote from: Tepid water on December 12, 2010, 06:17:54 pm

Not seen this thread before.

Fucking genius.

Literally crying with laughter.

Would be brilliant if the kop sang one of these at Xmas.

Geeez, if any musically-inclined Kopite could - say -play the guitar, sing all the above and release them in a CD, I will DEFINITELY buy one or two copies !!!!!!

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #202 on:** December 13, 2010, 03:57:17 pm »

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
How can we have less points than thee?

Ma Vie en Rouge · « **Reply #203 on:** December 13, 2010, 04:00:58 pm »

Quote from: Crosby Nick on December 13, 2010, 03:57:17 pm

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
How can we have less points than thee?

Short but sweet.

HFD · « **Reply #204 on:** December 13, 2010, 10:59:18 pm »

Quote from: Dr Manhattan on December 13, 2010, 03:36:30 pm

Deck The Hodge

Deck the Hodge and slap Konchesky
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
This is worse than watching Heskey
Fa la la la la, la la la la......

And that opening verse....
Genius

Cribertinokes · « **Reply #205 on:** December 13, 2010, 11:04:40 pm »

To the tune of Little Drummer Boy.

I rubbed my face for you, pa rum pum pum pum
I don't have a fucking clue, pa rum pum pum pum
Paul Konchesky I did bring, pa rum pum pum pum
Might play him on the wing, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Gifted Right Foot · « **Reply #206 on:** December 13, 2010, 11:09:18 pm »

Quote from: Ma Vie en Rouge on December 13, 2010, 03:35:43 pm

We'd got five points away from home,
by Christmas day, by Christmas day,
we'd got five points away from home,
by Christmas day with hoofballing.

And all five points were total shite,
were total shite, were total shite,
and all five points were total shite,
because of Roy's hoofballing.

Torres was bad, Gerrard was poor,
by Christmas day, by Christmas day,
and all the team forgot to pass
by Christmas day by hoofballing.

Pray, whither went the form of old,
the mighty reds, the scoring goals?
The team that terrified the world,
by Christmas day is a-falling.

We sailed away from Rafa's plan,
the dreams of cups delighting fans,
We paid him off to get this man,
who now has our team hoofballing.

But all the fools one day will see,
on Christmas day, on Christmas day,
we wrecked ourselves, paid Purslow's fee,
and now our team is hoofballing.

And all the Kop end fans will sing,
for someone else, for someone else,
a man who brings us glorious things,
on Christmas day in the morning.

Then shall we all rejoice again,
be great again, be tall again,
the man who comes to sail us home,
please god, stop us from hoofballing.

haha thats class

djphal · « **Reply #207 on:** December 13, 2010, 11:11:33 pm »

Quote from: Dr Manhattan on December 13, 2010, 03:36:30 pm

Deck The Hodge

Quote from: tnasaeP KWAR on December 13, 2010, 11:04:40 pm

To the tune of Little Drummer Boy.

Gifted Right Foot · « **Reply #208 on:** December 13, 2010, 11:12:22 pm »

Quote from: minusone on December 12, 2010, 05:34:39 am

On the first game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the second game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Everton above,
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the third game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the fourth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the fifth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the sixth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the seventh game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the eighth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the ninth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the tenth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the eleventh game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
"good draws" a-hyping,
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the twelfth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
No Europe coming,
"good draws" a-hyping,
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

hahahahahaha winner!

Picklez · « **Reply #209 on:** December 13, 2010, 11:17:06 pm »

You guys are brill!

Tonyh · « **Reply #210 on:** December 13, 2010, 11:21:24 pm »

Roy's gooooooone......2000 miles.........

You all know the rest!

djphal · « **Reply #211 on:** December 13, 2010, 11:36:58 pm »

Quote from: minusone on December 12, 2010, 05:34:39 am

On the first game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the second game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Everton above,
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the third game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the fourth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the fifth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the sixth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the seventh game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the eighth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the ninth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the tenth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the eleventh game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
"good draws" a-hyping,
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the twelfth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
No Europe coming,
"good draws" a-hyping,
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

with complimentary video!

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/Nt9Ku29A2JTKcZnY

Fanxxxxtastic · « **Reply #212 on:** December 15, 2010, 02:52:13 pm »

Some absolute belters by Minusone, the good Dr. and the reverse peasant!

amir87 · « **Reply #213 on:** December 15, 2010, 02:54:38 pm »

To the tune of Jingle Bells

Fuck off Roy, Fuck off Roy, Just fuck off you massive twat.

AJ4Seven · « **Reply #214 on:** December 15, 2010, 03:22:59 pm »

To the tune of Let it Snow:

So the results so far have been frightful,
But John Henry’s wife is so delightful,
And since we have no hope to show,
Time to go, time to go, time to go.

It doesn't show signs of stopping,
And he bought some Konch just for flopping,
The clubs been dragged way down low,
Time to go, time to go, time to go.

When we finally score a goal,
How we hate 8 men in a row,
But if we hold on & keep it tight,
All the way home We’ll be warm

The club is slowly dying,
While you still won’t say good-byeing,
But as long as you rub your face so,
Time to go, time to go, time to go

Finn Solomon · « **Reply #215 on:** December 15, 2010, 04:12:49 pm »

Quote from: amir87 on December 15, 2010, 02:54:38 pm

To the tune of Jingle Bells

Fuck off Roy, Fuck off Roy, Just fuck off you massive twat.

Doesn't fit.

Dam Sodd · « **Reply #216 on:** December 15, 2010, 04:16:55 pm »

Quote from: DJM on November 4, 2010, 08:57:26 am

Good King Kenny last looked out
Wondering why Steven
Was prone to stand about and pout
Although the match was even

Shitely played the team that night
Like they had all season
Then a poor Hodge came in sight
For shiteness he's the re-ea-ason

love this one

Jay-J · « **Reply #217 on:** December 15, 2010, 05:13:34 pm »

some great stuff here

MrGrumpy · « **Reply #218 on:** December 16, 2010, 10:10:59 pm »

Tune is Jingle Bells

Decembers cold
Our tactics are old
We can't win away
Liverpool fans get depressed
Whenever Konchesky plays

Torres can't score
We grind out dull draws
Hodgson is a cock
We used to be a very good team
Now we're a laughing stock

Dam Sodd · « **Reply #219 on:** May 20, 2011, 09:44:14 pm »

The wind blew, the rain (and the snow) fell.. our dreams were tossed and blown. So we had a carol concert. One of my favourite threads of the season and testimony to RAWKers spirit in times of woe, check back through the thread for some festive gems

El_Pistolero · « **Reply #220 on:** May 20, 2011, 09:50:14 pm »

Fucking brilliant some of these.

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #221 on:** May 20, 2011, 09:52:07 pm »

I never did get round to finishing Owl faceman came travelling.

CHOPPER · « **Reply #222 on:** May 20, 2011, 09:53:20 pm »

Quote from: Dam Sodd on May 20, 2011, 09:44:14 pm

The wind blew, the rain (and the snow) fell.. our dreams were tossed and blown. So we had a carol concert. One of my favourite threads of the season and testimony to RAWKers spirit in times of woe, check back through the thread for some festive gems

At the arse end of May!

You're having a fuckin giraffe aren't ye.

AnyGivenSunday · « **Reply #223 on:** May 20, 2011, 09:57:06 pm »

I somehow missed this thread when it was around. Some are genius!

GrkStav · « **Reply #224 on:** May 20, 2011, 09:59:23 pm »

Quote from: Finn Solomon on December 15, 2010, 04:12:49 pm

Doesn't fit.

"FUck off Roy, FUck off Roy, fuck OFF you massive c*nt!" does work, though.

Dam Sodd · « **Reply #225 on:** May 20, 2011, 10:20:55 pm »

Quote from: CHOPPER on May 20, 2011, 09:53:20 pm

You're having a fuckin giraffe aren't ye.

Och aye

Raoul Duke · « **Reply #226 on:** May 20, 2011, 10:29:49 pm »

The Hodge is gone and now we're winning,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
The King came back and we start singing,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!

January brought us Suarez and Carroll,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Them two are gonna find us the goal,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Dirk gave Férgie's boys a roasting,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Put three past 'em, now we're coasting,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!

For next season, it's a banker,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Clarke and Kenny will defeat the wanker,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Fanxxxxtastic · « **Reply #227 on:** May 20, 2011, 10:34:00 pm »

Quote from: jeffiner1892 on May 20, 2011, 09:52:07 pm

I never did get round to finishing Owl faceman came travelling.

Yeah, and I was really looking forward to it. So disappointed!

Zlen · « **Reply #228 on:** May 20, 2011, 10:35:27 pm »

Dck the Hodge was my favourite, thanks for bumping the thread.

1021 · « **Reply #229 on:** May 20, 2011, 11:10:43 pm »

This and I think it was Gobias' thread about Roy throughout history are probably my favourites of the season.
It was shite, but there were some RAWKites who led a noble cause to keep the rest of us from sticking our heads in the oven.

1021 · « **Reply #230 on:** May 20, 2011, 11:12:38 pm »

Was Gobias, that one, fucking brilliant.

http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=268710.msg7942177#msg7942177

Trada · « **Reply #231 on:** May 20, 2011, 11:19:08 pm »

I got a weeks ban on Christmas day for my Carol for Hodgson.

And I just used a verse from a much loved Christmas song A fairy tale from New York.

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #232 on:** May 20, 2011, 11:26:38 pm »

Quote from: Trada on May 20, 2011, 11:19:08 pm

I got a weeks ban on Christmas day for my Carol for Hodgson.

And I just used a verse from a much loved Christmas song A fairy tale from New York.

Did you alter any of the words from that verse?

Hymer Red · « **Reply #233 on:** May 21, 2011, 01:52:03 am »

Quote from: CHOPPER on May 20, 2011, 09:53:20 pm

At the arse end of May!

You're having a fuckin giraffe aren't ye.

OK how bout a couple of summer songs then?

Mungo Jerry

In the summer time after Roy has been fired
You can now get rid of the crap that he hired
With the King in charge
You got winning you got winning on your mind
Have a duck Have a dive
Go out and see who you can find

Cliff might sing

We're all going on a summer holiday
No more footy for a month or two
Buying players on our summer holiday
Is what we are going to do for you
For a month or two

We're going to buy lots of youngsters
We're going to buy lots of stars
We're not afraid of spending money
We'll show you what we can do

Everybody has a summer holiday
Buying players is the thing to do
So we're going on a summer holiday
To make our dreams come true
For me and you
For me and you

I'll get my coat again

StevenLFC · « **Reply #234 on:** December 16, 2011, 03:13:46 pm »

Christmas time.
Alcopops and wine.
Andy's having a whale of a time.
He can't win a header,
He's slow as can be,
He'll probably leave in Jan on a free.

Christmas time.
Racism and fines.
Luis is having a whale of a time.
With the odd middle finger,
And a fall to the floor,
The FA will soon be knocking at his door.

Christmas time.
Still reaching his prime.
Jordan's having a whale of a time.
With a smudging of hair gel,
And a load of fake tan.
Is Jordan a lady or just a very camp man?

El_Pistolero · « **Reply #235 on:** December 16, 2011, 03:20:16 pm »

This is thread is brilliant, as is Phil M's 'Roy's last Christmas'.

PIPA23 · « **Reply #236 on:** December 16, 2011, 03:42:00 pm »

Quote from: Aristotle on November 3, 2010, 07:24:32 pm

*Tune of Let It Snow*

Ohh the table is looking frightful
But Roy still looks delightful
We're shit and we're playing slow
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go

It doesn't show signs of stopping
And last season took some topping
He's taking us way down low
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go.

At least we're playing in Europe tonight
But I'd rather strip naked in a storm
His grip is getting so tight
Next season this will be the norm

Ohh LFC is slowly dying
The supporters who watch all sighing
NESV we trust that you will know
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go.

Thinking of a few more. Brilliant thread idea

Lofty Ambitions · « **Reply #237 on:** December 16, 2011, 04:01:37 pm »

You cannot possibly quote this too often

Quote from: minusone on December 12, 2010, 05:34:39 am

On the first game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the second game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Everton above,
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the third game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the fourth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the fifth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the sixth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the seventh game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the eighth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the ninth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the tenth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the eleventh game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
"good draws" a-hyping,
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the twelfth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
No Europe coming,
"good draws" a-hyping,
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

Which reminds me...

Once upon a time we had a gaffer
Who made us lose at home and while away
Remember how we cried away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things that used to be

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd call for Kenny forever and a day
We fielded a team that hoofed
We'd fight but always lose
For we were crap and surely lost our way

La la la la...

Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

edit: Now with a vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNIIwqafrO4

GorstStreetBoy · « **Reply #238 on:** December 16, 2011, 06:36:07 pm »

Quote from: rouge nell on November 4, 2010, 07:50:08 am

Tune: little drummer boy

Go they told him
Ba rump Ba bum bum
Your not welcome here
Ba rump ba bum bum
Your driving us to beer
Ba rump Ba bum bum
Your hairdo's a bit queer
Ba rump Ba bum bum rump a bum bum rump a bum bum

Used to love this thread, one of the funniest ever!

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #239 on:** December 16, 2011, 06:53:43 pm »

Quote from: corkboy on November 3, 2010, 09:30:23 pm

"Well thought of at the LMA". Marvellous, Gulley.

I missed that first time round. Outstanding wasn't it. Only halfway through page two and so many good ones already: rocking around the bottom three a personal favourite so far. Can't beat a bit of gallows humour at time.

Waiting to get to the "deck the hodge and fuck Konchesky" or whatever it was...