the next installment!
Maria, I am so glad you have made contact with me. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never no dear how much I love you, so please don't take my Kumalo away.
Today is the day I fly over, I am just packing my suitcase, do I need to bring my swimming trunks? I used to wear speedo's but due to the size of my manhood it can become rather embarrassing.
You didnt answer my question about the corby trouser press and the complimentary shower cap, this is very important maria
People have been asking me what I'm up to this weekend so I just told them that Me, me Mam, me Dad and me Gran are off to Waterloo. Me, me Mam, me Dad and me Gran with a bucket of Vindaloo. This is quite a normal thing to do at the weekend so they won't get suspicious.
I am very excited about this deal, when you get to my age finding a little play thing like yourself is something every man dreams of, its like my uncle buck once said Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground. I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town There's no need to be unhappy.
I am looking forward to cracking open a bottle of Blue Nun and tin of Spam in celebration of our business dealing and us becoming soul mates. These are true delicacies in Britain.
Have you ever had Fray Bentos? When you come to my country I'll will cook one for you. It's a pie in a tin - what will they think of next!!?? We also have coca cola - you probably won't have heard of this, it's a sugary soft drink made from vegetable extracts, I think you can only buy it in England, it's very special. Who loves you, eh? That's right, Mummy loves you, you little monster. Mummy loves you more than anything - more than all the cakes, more than all the jewellery, more than all the chocolate in the world.
Your son can go to school in my country, there is an excellent one down the road called Grange Hill. It used to be in London but they moved it to Leeds which is good because Zammo and Roland loved it there!
I have been working out in the gym so that I can 'go like a sewing machine' when we are making the two backed beast. There ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no river wide enough, ain't no valley low enough to keep me from you.
Have you informed the hotel that I am deaf? I wish I'd be at bit more spontaneous. Sometimes I feel like going out, stealing a traffic cone, putting it on my head and saying, "Look at me, I'm a giant witch."
Lord Ronald Atkinson once said "'Beckenbauer has really gambled all his eggs". Today Maria, I am Beckenbauer. I'm gambling my eggs, and my balls on coming to meet you and carry out our business. Don't let me down Maria, don't let me down, don't let the big man down. The big man is up right now, up real high, don't let me down. If you let me down then I'll be real down, right down and I like being up, up high like Blackpool tower - that's high and has a lift in it to the top - I want to stay at the top because I'm at the top right now with you in my heart Maria. Do you understand how I'm feeling?
I shall be at the airport for about 5 so if you can answer my questions before then i can fly out Safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to All the people
So many people And they all go hand in hand Hand in hand through their parklife
I have always wanted to visit South Africa. There are many things to see and do.
Will you take me to the Lion Park? I'd like to go there!
Will you take me to the Soweto? I'd like to go there!
Will you take me to the Rhino and Lion Nature Reserve? I'd like to go there!
Will you take me to the South African Lipazzaners? I'd like to go there!
Will you take me to the Lesedi Cultural Village? I'd like to go there!
Will you take me to the Bunny Park? I'd like to go there!
Will you take me to the Krugersdorp Game Reserve? I'd like to go there!
Will you take me to the Waterfront? I'd like to go there!
Will you take me to the Lifestyle Garden Centre? I'd like to go there!
I want to go to lots of Zoo's - I like animals. My friend once had sex with a goat. Ooh, now let's get down tonight Baby I'm hot just like an oven I need some lovin'
And baby, I can't hold it much longer It's getting stronger and stronger And when I get that feeling I want Sexual Healing
Look forward to hearing from you before I leave my little cup cake
