Manchester City V Liverpool
EPL, Saturday April 1st, 12.30pm, Etihad Stadium.
Referee: Simon Hooper. Assistants: Adrian Holmes, Simon Long. Fourth official: Graham Scott. VAR: John Brooks. Assistant VAR: Matthew Wilkes.
(Weirdly, none of this lot is familiar to me )
It’s 2034.
Welcome humanoids of non-specific gender to this weeks clash in The Amazon-Pfizer EPLeague meeting of, 12 times consecutive champions, AD Manchester City Blues (sponsored this week by Etihad-Vision, your home for Virtual Reality World Tours) and The Liverpool Reds (sponsored by "The Holographic Beatle’s Spectacular", homemade Virtual concerts tailored to your tastes). Today’s match-up takes place at the World famous Space-X Eithad-Blue Pill Arena which will be hovering over Oman. It features crowds scenes from the best of both franchise’s library of tip top atmospheres. Our Blues crowd scenes will feature some classics including “Original Poznan” plus amplified "Stockport 97 true grit" as well as this season’s top 10 non-binary positive chants. The visitors have chosen to go old school as well and are reprising the awesome "Istanbul YNWA" as well as “10 minutes of electric Anfield with snowflakes gently falling”. As usual use the soft dial button located in your left temple to choose your favourite chants to go with the game. Your big game atmosphere is sponsored by Cadbury’s Asperin, "tasty pain soothing herbotical infusions your mother gave you”. So Sit back, get your Blue Moon groove-mood enhancers in, wrap yourself in authentic ADMC kit and watch "The Boys in Blue” on your full Wall Screen TV.
"The Boys in Blue” is a production of ADMCB’s “Shout Hooray For A New Universe" Studio.
Your kick-off guest star will be our very own Noel “The Lad” Gallacher, “ just 'aving a laugh” is the latest mico-brain upload available from Noel and his new band "Smirk”.
It’s 2023.
Fuc* yeah. I had to find some way of getting myself up for this game and a "little trip” to the future was just the tonic I needed. If you think things are bad now …..
Klopp first met Abu Dhabi’s finest soon after taking over, mid October 2015, from Brendan. Liverpool were moribund. Close your eyes after you read the next bit. The first team Klopp sent out to play an ADMC side was indeed an eclectic bunch.
Off the top of your head can you guess the team ?
It was …..
Migs,
Clyne, Degsy and Skrtel with Moreno.
Lucas, Milner, Emre Can.
Lallana, Bobby and Coutinho up front.
Well what do you call that team ? Full of potential ? (for disaster at the back). Solid but a bit one-paced in the middle ? Silken and slight but again a bit one-paced up front ? The team we faced that day included De Bryne, Fernando, Kolorov, Sagna, Yaya Touré, Sterling, Aguero and Navas.
You remember long days of childhood summers ? The glitter of early morning sun, shimmering on the sea. Days of dreams, of hopes, of possibilities ? Well we battered them that day. Art, skill, exuberance, spontaneity, pace, will, focus, execution. The elixir, the alchemy. The joy of being in Jurgan’s gang. Early sparks.
15-16 was a topsy turvy season. We dismantled Chelsea in London 3-1, swept City aside 4-1 and 3-0, smashed Southampton away 6-1, had a mad-cap 5-4 with Norwich. That first brilliant European run. Dispatching Utd, Villarreal and having that unforgettable drama with Dortmund. Ultimately we came up short, losing 2 finals, failing to qualify for Europe and we were beaten by all sorts of tripe that season, many times.
The squad wasn’t good enough. Klopp sharpened some and many said goodbye in the summer to follow.
22-23 is a topsy turvy season, eerily similar. We’ve murdered teams 9-0, 7-1 and will forever savour “The eternal 7-0”. We’ve beaten City and the Saudis twice and cruised into the last 16 in Europe’s premier competition. But, we’ve been simply dreadful at times. Moribund. Lost to everyone at the wrong end of the table and got eviscerated by Madrid in Europe. True, injuries and consequent disruption have been off the charts (again) but that end-of-an-era feeling is in the air. Maybe it hurts so much more because we are coming down from such a fantastic, carnival of Klopp inspired magic, the best of times. But we are in a similar place to summer 15-16. Some will stay but big change is coming. Klopp and Liverpool have to reinvigorate, to shed old skin, to renew. It has to be so.
This time it’s going to be that much harder. Arsenal have usurped us. Utd have finally woken up. The Saudis are here. New Chelsea make Roman look like Scrooge. The EPL’s attack Dogs have money to burn. Lording over them all are Abu Dhabi’s hirlings. Guardiola’s machine, the past, the present and the future, fed from the font of endless money, from the blue nothingness of the Etihad. But that’s the summer to come.
Saturday at stupid o clock we lock horns with them. After Bournemouth (see Leeds, Forest, Fulham, Palace, Wolves etc etc ) it’s hard to find optimism again but, mercurial as we have been this season, I wouldn’t put anything past this side. City will probably be what they always are so it’s up to us. In front of the piped atmosphere and primped audience let Jurgan rinse one more miracle out of that squad.
As for the line-ups and nature of how the game will go well I’ve been popping those mood enhancers myself and taken 2 weeks to come away from Liverpool footie. I haven’t seen anything on the box and haven’t got a clue as to who’s playing for whom. I would assume, new injuries permitting, the Liverpool team will go along familiar lines. Allison, Trent, Virg, Konaté, Robbo, Fab, Hendo, Gakpo, Mo. The remaining starters being between Nunes, Jota, Elliot or maybe Bobby (who has played in Both victories over ADMC this season).
He could go a 4-2-4 ish system as he has done before. Jota seems good on the press. The problem for us is one of accuracy and energy. The players need to know each other to effect the press cohesively and they need to have the collective energy to do it. The idea that they have had a break and will come back refreshed, re-energised and focussed would be true if they hadn’t either been on holiday or playing for their national teams this last fortnight, so it ain’t strictly true. Rather than something new I think Klopp will go with whatever team he feels is the most cohesive and can operate on automatic pilot the best. ADMC are very good at finding weak spots and exploiting them. Failing that there is always Haaland for them.
It’ll be a ding dong battle with them as usual. A victory for us pretty much seals the title for Arsenal as well as raising the mirage of 4th place for us so there is a lot at play even if it all feels a little numb this time. Our record there has been fairly lame of late but this time I don’t think that matters. Both teams are playing to win obviously but with different agendas and we are none of their business, sadly. We’ve beaten them twice already this season so we can do it. Will we ?
The poetry of highs and low. This has been Jurgan’s way. When Saturday Comes we go again. Who’ll be the hero in Red ?
*Speaking of heroes. Lucas Leiva has had to retire due to heart issues. A cult hero to (me) many, I really hope his chant gets an airing on Saturday. He’d love it and he is one of the good ones.
