Author Topic: All About Skrtel (Read 74449 times)

Kienast · « **Reply #200 on:** July 4, 2008, 08:03:06 pm »

The Newcastle fans can't boo Skrtel.

qwerty_in_advance · « **Reply #201 on:** July 4, 2008, 08:08:47 pm »

Skrtel can lead a horse to water AND make it drink !

Everytime Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be back!" hes implying hes going to get Skrtel to ask for his help.

Martin Skrtel is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants

rosie · « **Reply #202 on:** July 4, 2008, 08:16:50 pm »

Quote from: qwerty_owen on July 4, 2008, 08:08:47 pm

Martin Skrtel is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants

he can also lick his own bollocks

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #203 on:** July 4, 2008, 08:24:35 pm »

Quote from: rosie on July 4, 2008, 08:16:50 pm

he can also lick his own bollocks

KK Legend · « **Reply #204 on:** July 4, 2008, 08:44:03 pm »

Quote from: rosie on July 4, 2008, 08:16:50 pm

he can also lick his own bollocks

Martin Skrtel can lick anybody's bollocks..........if he wanted to.

Cribertinokes · « **Reply #205 on:** July 4, 2008, 08:44:06 pm »

Martin Skrtel once joined an obesity group but was kicked out after he misinterpreted the name... Fat Fighters.

Serenity · « **Reply #206 on:** July 4, 2008, 09:40:46 pm »

Arbeloa won't jump on Skrtel's back when he scores

mbroon · « **Reply #207 on:** July 4, 2008, 10:04:38 pm »

A child once taunted Martin Skrtel with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Martin Skrtel proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the child in one deft move.

sabbathfan · « **Reply #208 on:** July 5, 2008, 12:08:27 am »

Martin Skrtel owns you. That is all.

Franck Le Poof · « **Reply #209 on:** July 5, 2008, 12:09:26 am »

Quote from: Kienast on July 4, 2008, 08:03:06 pm

The Newcastle fans can't boo Skrtel.

qwerty_in_advance · « **Reply #210 on:** July 5, 2008, 12:20:58 am »

In a fight between superman and batman... who'd win ?? Martin Skrtel !!

Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Martin Skrtel will kick his arse and take it.

Spanish Al · « **Reply #211 on:** July 5, 2008, 12:35:10 am »

There was one of these for Vidic going round last year. But it weren't as good as the Skrtel one. Vidic ain't hard either, he's just an ugly fucker.

1770ben · « **Reply #212 on:** July 5, 2008, 12:54:05 am »

When Martin Skrtel said he likes turkey at Christmas, Harry Kewell moved there.

Anfield Adorer · « **Reply #213 on:** July 5, 2008, 05:33:12 am »

skrtel deposits interests, he gets savings

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #214 on:** July 5, 2008, 10:07:04 am »

"Some people say that football is a matter of life and death. I can sure you it's more important than that. But when it comes to football and Martin Skrtel with it, it's all about death"

rosie · « **Reply #215 on:** July 5, 2008, 11:10:02 am »

Martin Skrtel eats Toblerone bars.......sideways.

gnaume · « **Reply #216 on:** July 5, 2008, 12:54:18 pm »

Martin Skrtel doesn't shower, he takes blood baths

love the reds · « **Reply #217 on:** July 5, 2008, 01:38:24 pm »

martin skrtel wouldnt piss on you if you were on fire.....(probably cos he set you on fire).

sunny_LFC · « **Reply #218 on:** July 5, 2008, 01:40:45 pm »

Quote from: Serenity on July 4, 2008, 09:40:46 pm

Arbeloa won't jump on Skrtel's back when he scores

rosie · « **Reply #219 on:** July 5, 2008, 01:41:45 pm »

Quote from: love the reds on July 5, 2008, 01:38:24 pm

martin skrtel wouldnt piss on you if you were on fire.....(probably cos he set you on fire).

martin skrtel pisses rocket fuel.

zimmie'5555 · « **Reply #220 on:** July 5, 2008, 02:05:56 pm »

Dead People see Martin Skrtel

Cribertinokes · « **Reply #221 on:** July 5, 2008, 03:33:27 pm »

This thread is so hilarious!

Franck Le Poof · « **Reply #222 on:** July 5, 2008, 05:20:04 pm »

Quote from: rosie on July 5, 2008, 11:10:02 am

Martin Skrtel eats Toblerone bars.......sideways.

gnaume · « **Reply #223 on:** July 5, 2008, 07:54:09 pm »

Quote from: Skrtel the Turtle on July 5, 2008, 03:33:27 pm

This thread is so hilarious!

Martin Skrtel doesn't think so

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #224 on:** July 5, 2008, 08:12:09 pm »

People think this thread is funny, but Martin Skrtel doesn't think so. So, he will eat you all.

ours for keeps · « **Reply #225 on:** July 5, 2008, 08:48:02 pm »

According to legend Martin Skrtel once beat up both the Williams brothers..at the same time.
Infact Emile Williams had his arse served to him and Titus Williams was smashed all over the court....

And on a sidenote...... legend now has no front teeth !!

NEVER tell tales on Martin Skrtel

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #226 on:** July 5, 2008, 09:47:20 pm »

Ever wonder why Ronaldinho has crooked teeth??? Go ask Martin Skrtel.......

Seantheprawn · « **Reply #227 on:** July 5, 2008, 09:49:25 pm »

There is an answer to getting rid of G&H.............let Skrtel have 2 minutes in a room with em!
Before nails they used Skrtel.

kkhaku · « **Reply #228 on:** July 5, 2008, 10:34:46 pm »

Skrtel is banned from washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

buzzing · « **Reply #229 on:** July 6, 2008, 01:03:51 am »

Duncan Ferguson has stated that if he was playing in the Premiership these days he'd carry a can of petrol with him in games against Liverpool.

He says that if Martin Skrtel was about to slide tackle him he'd burn himself to death because it would be less painful than the tackle.

When informed of this, Skrtel replied that he would have resuscitated Ferguson... And slide-tackled him to death anyway.

Now Ferguson, like the boogeyman, checks his closet for Skrtel before going to bed.

^^

stolen from a youtube comment

PS: Going to be interesting to see what rafa does with Agger, Carra and Skrtel.

Baraka · « **Reply #230 on:** July 6, 2008, 01:42:00 am »

If Martin Skrtel was a Mortal Kombat Character, he wouldn't even need to fight, it would be straight away "FINISH HIM!", where he would procede with biting the opponents head off, chewing it a bit, and spitting the rest of it out, sharp as nails, to decimate the rest of the body.

Tentacles. · « **Reply #231 on:** July 6, 2008, 02:19:23 am »

Martin Skrtel is Iraq's WMD's in hiding.

Finn Solomon · « **Reply #232 on:** July 6, 2008, 03:11:59 am »

The US air-dropped Skrtel on Hiroshima to end WWII. It worked.

kkhaku · « **Reply #233 on:** July 6, 2008, 06:09:21 am »

Skrtel is banned from sitting naked in wheat fields. The government still hasn't come up with a way to explain to the public that the crop circles were caused by a pair of Slovakian bollocks.

Fine Shagger, Danny Agger · « **Reply #234 on:** July 6, 2008, 06:21:54 am »

Skrtel shot the sheriff and the deputy.

Tentacles. · « **Reply #235 on:** July 6, 2008, 10:04:38 am »

Skrtel

"Said he hated us but he lied"

"This is more than hate he feels inside"

cox3100 · « **Reply #236 on:** July 6, 2008, 10:11:42 am »

martin skrtel walks like an egyptian

Bucky-Diamond · « **Reply #237 on:** July 6, 2008, 10:23:05 am »

hahahahaha this's Skrtel diary?

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #238 on:** July 6, 2008, 10:47:06 am »

Skrtel doesn't have a diary, he'll kidnap someone and make that person to remember what he did.....

gnaume · « **Reply #239 on:** July 6, 2008, 10:47:45 am »

Quote from: Fine Shagger, Danny Agger on July 6, 2008, 06:21:54 am

Skrtel shot the sheriff and the deputy.