Topic: Wedding Preparation Advice

[Shankly998]

I got engaged a few months ago and now with lockdown restrictions coming to an end so is the phony war of the engagement and it's now time to get serious and start planning for the wedding through viewing some venues in person.

With that in mind, for those that have been there and done it before what kind of questions should I be asking these venues before blowing thousands on them/ what do you wish you'd known before choosing your venue.

I'll read guides online about what kind of questions to ask but I'm interested in an average joe's opinion compared to what some fancy guide will say.

[So… Howard Philips]

I got engaged a few months ago and now with lockdown restrictions coming to an end so is the phony war of the engagement and it's now time to get serious and start planning for the wedding through viewing some venues in person.

With that in mind, for those that have been there and done it before what kind of questions should I be asking these venues before blowing thousands on them/ what do you wish you'd known before choosing your venue.

I'll read guides online about what kind of questions to ask but I'm interested in an average joe's opinion compared to what some fancy guide will say.

Well what does the bride to be and her ma want/expect?

A good starting point.

[Shankly998]

Well what does the bride to be and her ma want/expect?

A good starting point.

A nice hotel for the venue choice. We're paying for the whole thing so mother in law to be's opinion doesn't matter. The wedding will be in the UK.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Get down the Sunshine Centre in Rhyl and go the whole hog. £19.99 on a Stella, Fish n' Chips wedding for 3 people.

You only live once!

[Shankly998]

Get down the Sunshine Centre in Rhyl and go the whole hog. £19.99 on a Stella, Fish n' Chips wedding for 3 people.

You only live once!

Thanks I am trying to avoid a next day annulment however so I'll sadly have to pass on the glorious attractions of Rhyl.

[rob1966]

A nice hotel for the venue choice. We're paying for the whole thing so mother in law to be's opinion doesn't matter. The wedding will be in the UK.

You have a lot to learn

[Shankly998]

You have a lot to learn

Almost certainly,  it'll just be us viewing the places however so my thinking is the mother in law can't have an opinion if she doesn't come to view with us she'll take what she's given.

[So… Howard Philips]

Almost certainly,  it'll just be us viewing the places however so my thinking is the mother in law can't have an opinion if she doesn't come to view with us she'll take what she's given.

I think it's a good idea to have at least one parent making an input - and then you'll have the agony of deciding who not to attend and then the torture of the seating arrangements.

[Shankly998]

I think it's a good idea to have at least one parent making an input - and then you'll have the agony of deciding who not to attend and then the torture of the seating arrangements.

Sadly her folks never got married so I'm not sure how much input they'll be able to give! We've already decided first cousins are the limit for family and then a few close friends.

[CHOPPER]

Plan your stag do abar 2 months before the wedding to allow for any eyebrow hair, head hair, tattos etc, to either grow back or can be covered over.

[Shankly998]

Plan your stag do abar 2 months before the wedding to allow for any eyebrow hair, head hair, tattos etc, to either grow back or can be covered over.

I thought the groom basically had no say in planning the stag do?

[CHOPPER]

I thought the groom basically had no say in planning the stag do?

Yep, you're right mate, leave it in their capable and caring hands...............



It all depends on how ruthless your mates are.

[Shankly998]

Yep, you're right mate, leave it in their capable and caring hands...............



It all depends on how ruthless your mates are.

I dream of a fairly quiet night in the pub sadly I don't think that will happen.

[rob1966]

Yep, you're right mate, leave it in their capable and caring hands...............



It all depends on how ruthless your mates are.

Woke up morning of his wedding on the Isle of man ferry as it docked in Douglas was the best /worst I heard

[kavah]

Woke up morning of his wedding on the Isle of man ferry as it docked in Douglas was the best /worst I heard

Ha ha. Heard some crackers, I think the best was a truly horrific tattoo on the back of a Rugby Waterloo player years ago.
My brother and friends left me kale-eyed (?sp?) in a front garden on West Derby Road while they all went the Grafton "spec him in the bushes he can sleep it off" I also had a ball an chain on my leg so I wasn't going anywhere Zzzzz 

Good luck Shanks - get your close friends and relatives - good food, a few drinks, disco / band - have a ball.
(PS Don't clash with an important game)

[Brissyred]

Woke up morning of his wedding on the Isle of man ferry as it docked in Douglas was the best /worst I heard

Sure we don't know each other? 
One stag do I went on ended up with that scenario, father of the groom, the groom and the best man (me) getting woken by the staff on the Lady of Mann in Douglas.
We all had to fly back at ridiculous expense to make the wedding.
None of us knew how we got on there, and no one ever owned up to it.

[Crosby Nick]

Plan your stag do abar 2 months before the wedding to allow for any eyebrow hair, head hair, tattos etc, to either grow back or can be covered over.

I thought it was only in Soaps where they had a stag do the night before the wedding (with hilarious consequences).

[rob1966]

I thought it was only in Soaps where they had a stag do the night before the wedding (with hilarious consequences).

My dickhead brother had his on the Thursday in late October - some knob he worked with spiked his drink, he offered a bouncer out, he was then stood in the middle of the road threatening to kill his mates, coppers said if I didn't take him home he was getting arrested, had a scrap with him, managed to get him home, he had an argument with his missus, stormed out, after calming down, she went looking for him, couldn't find him then noticed a shape covered in frost on the grass, realised it was him fast asleep, dragged him home and called off the wedding. I got all the blame for this btw.

Next day at work he threw a huge knife at the lad who'd spiked the drink, missed him by an inch and embedded itself in the door. Luckily his missus calmed down and they got married the next day.

[Jono69]

My dickhead brother had his on the Thursday in late October - some knob he worked with spiked his drink, he offered a bouncer out, he was then stood in the middle of the road threatening to kill his mates, coppers said if I didn't take him home he was getting arrested, had a scrap with him, managed to get him home, he had an argument with his missus, stormed out, after calming down, she went looking for him, couldn't find him then noticed a shape covered in frost on the grass, realised it was him fast asleep, dragged him home and called off the wedding. I got all the blame for this btw.

Next day at work he threw a huge knife at the lad who'd spiked the drink, missed him by an inch and embedded itself in the door. Luckily his missus calmed down and they got married the next day.

Who said Romance was dead 

[kavah]

 . Rob fucking hell. That’s a cracker - and Brissy Red 

Who said Romance was dead 

[liverbloke]

i've never been married (me and my girl just have never gone down that route) but i'm been a best man 3 times - once to a mate and twice to a couple of my brothers so i some experience about weddings...

and my advice to you is to make sure ALL interested parties are kept up to date with everything - it only takes one person not being told what's going on that will cause an atmosphere

ALSO make sure EVERYONE is happy and bend over backwards before the big day and of course on it - complimenting everyone then you can't go wrong

of course you won't be able to please everyone and sometimes something shit will happen but if you've prepared the groundwork then you should have solid ground to start with

last thing - have a taxi on standby outside the church just in case either you or your other half changes their mind 

[Ciara (with a capital "C")]

I think it’s really important you nail down your own requirements.

They will be transparent with money, price per head etc... but definitely consider what you want/need from them.

Some of things we wanted/needed..?

- How many rooms are available for accommodation for people (if applicable)..?
- Will they hold rooms for people to book?
- Are there any weddings either side of your dates which means other people staying in the venue the day of/night of your wedding?
- Any discount for your guests?
- What time will they want things to end at?
- Do they enforce any of their own things i.e resident band or DJ, table decorations, seat covers etc...
- What beer have they got on tap? (I was shocked in the run up to my wedding how many people asked this!)
- Time of check out if staying over
- Outside facilities if people want to leave the reception area - are people likely to wander off and into other areas and leaving the wedding reception? I.e are toilets located close to the Receprion area or do people need to go walking to find them and end up stumbling into another bar or area and therefore leaving your wedding!

Those are the ones that spring to mind.

The hardest thing for us was finding a venue that had rooms for people to stay. I had family and friends coming from Ireland so that was a major requirement for us. I didn’t want people getting taxis or busses everywhere. We got married at the venue and had our drinks Reception outside where we did the speeches, then the Reception in a marquee. So weather was important and contingency plans if it rained but they were great with all that.

I do think it’s important to build a good relationship with the venue. 6 years on we would still go back to our wedding hotel for an overnight stay or dinner or afternoon tea and they still recognise and remember us which is lovely.

Good luck!

[Barneylfc∗]

Fuck the mother in law's opinions, it isn't her day. Remember there are 2 people getting married, not just one.

[Samie]

I presume my invite was lost in the post mate?

[Kekule]

Be absolutely crystal clear with each other on what the wine alcohol arrangements are for the meal/evening i.e how many bottles per table/in total you are paying for, and once they are used up then no more is brought to the tables. Guests then have to buy their own at the bar rather than ordering to the table.

I’ve been at a few where friends have said there was an unsettled bar bill, or extra wine costs at the end, as the staff and guests didn’t realise the pre paid wine and run out, and just carried on bringing it/asking for more.  I don’t think it’s people taking the piss, it’s just not knowing the arrangements.

The whole DJ/entertainment, decorations thing is a good shout.  We had several places that seemed to think they knew what we wanted better than we did and got very pushy. Saying stuff like “No this is how we do it, it’s quite popular”.  It may be popular, but it might not be what you want and it’s your day.

[Jono69]

This won't help you but by calling me a average joe then i don't care


We got married abroad and saved a fecking fortune . My brother got married the year before and he told me what was spent  and we got married in Sicily and to be honest it was literally peanuts that we spent . Booked it through Tui as it is now and they sorted everything out and there were only both sets of parents and a couple of friends - bliss

[UntouchableLuis]

We've got ours planned for July next year. It's going to cost around 20,000 all in and that's with around 80 guests only. We wanted somewhere where we can stay over and have friends/family stay too. We aren't having a band, just a DJ.

The venue booked is the most important thing - dates will be getting filled left right and centre for next year now.

[rob1966]

We've got ours planned for July next year. It's going to cost around 20,000 all in and that's with around 80 guests only. We wanted somewhere where we can stay over and have friends/family stay too. We aren't having a band, just a DJ.

The venue booked is the most important thing - dates will be getting filled left right and centre for next year now.

We got married in 2007, 50 in the day, 200 in the night, cost £5k in total, we got a right bargain.

Fuck the mother in law's opinions, it isn't her day. Remember there are 2 people getting married, not just one.

You're single aren't you?

[AndyInVA]

Fuck the mother in law's opinions, it isn't her day. Remember there are 2 people getting married, not just one.

HAHA yeah right. Of all the funny comments in here, the story about waking up on the ferry is the second funniest to this.

[AndyInVA]

Married three times.

First marriage was a huge budget affair paid for by her father. Fucking nightmare to organize, shit loads of decisions, masses and masses of stress and really wanted to call it off but we felt so beholden to people from UK and all her friends who had booked flights etc. Divorced 10 years later. Wedding is a total lost memory in my mind as I couldn't care less.

Second marriage. Paid for it myself. Loads of decisions to make. Ridiculous stress. Wife wanted a big budget affair and I just couldn't afford it and she was broke. Divorced three years later as she was a total fraudster.

Got married last year to a brilliant woman. Second marriage for her. We got married without anyone else except for my ex football mate who is a judge and he married us with someone who worked there as the witness. Not even our parents there. Brilliant way to do it. Great holiday away afterwards. Feel great about the whole day.

My advice is to keep it small, keep your wife happy and don't get carried away and don't go for useless shit. It's all about the single moment you get married and having the people you care about the most around you. The rest of it is just fluff and nonsense. Don't create such an event that it becomes so stressful you lose sight of why you even want to get married.

[liverbloke]

Married three times.

First marriage was a huge budget affair paid for by her father. Fucking nightmare to organize, shit loads of decisions, masses and masses of stress and really wanted to call it off but we felt so beholden to people from UK and all her friends who had booked flights etc. Divorced 10 years later. Wedding is a total lost memory in my mind as I couldn't care less.

Second marriage. Paid for it myself. Loads of decisions to make. Ridiculous stress. Wife wanted a big budget affair and I just couldn't afford it and she was broke. Divorced three years later as she was a total fraudster.

Got married last year to a brilliant woman. Second marriage for her. We got married without anyone else except for my ex football mate who is a judge and he married us with someone who worked there as the witness. Not even our parents there. Brilliant way to do it. Great holiday away afterwards. Feel great about the whole day.

My advice is to keep it small, keep your wife happy and don't get carried away and don't go for useless shit. It's all about the single moment you get married and having the people you care about the most around you. The rest of it is just fluff and nonsense. Don't create such an event that it becomes so stressful you lose sight of why you even want to get married.

3rd time lucky man - good advice 

[Shankly998]

I think it’s really important you nail down your own requirements.

They will be transparent with money, price per head etc... but definitely consider what you want/need from them.

Some of things we wanted/needed..?

- How many rooms are available for accommodation for people (if applicable)..?
- Will they hold rooms for people to book?
- Are there any weddings either side of your dates which means other people staying in the venue the day of/night of your wedding?
- Any discount for your guests?
- What time will they want things to end at?
- Do they enforce any of their own things i.e resident band or DJ, table decorations, seat covers etc...
- What beer have they got on tap? (I was shocked in the run up to my wedding how many people asked this!)
- Time of check out if staying over
- Outside facilities if people want to leave the reception area - are people likely to wander off and into other areas and leaving the wedding reception? I.e are toilets located close to the Receprion area or do people need to go walking to find them and end up stumbling into another bar or area and therefore leaving your wedding!

Those are the ones that spring to mind.

The hardest thing for us was finding a venue that had rooms for people to stay. I had family and friends coming from Ireland so that was a major requirement for us. I didn’t want people getting taxis or busses everywhere. We got married at the venue and had our drinks Reception outside where we did the speeches, then the Reception in a marquee. So weather was important and contingency plans if it rained but they were great with all that.

I do think it’s important to build a good relationship with the venue. 6 years on we would still go back to our wedding hotel for an overnight stay or dinner or afternoon tea and they still recognise and remember us which is lovely.

Good luck!

Thank you that's very useful the wedding will be fairly close to where we live so there shouldn't be that many people needing to stay over.

[Shankly998]

I presume my invite was lost in the post mate?

Shows what happens when you privatise a once great public institution.

[Shankly998]

Be absolutely crystal clear with each other on what the wine alcohol arrangements are for the meal/evening i.e how many bottles per table/in total you are paying for, and once they are used up then no more is brought to the tables. Guests then have to buy their own at the bar rather than ordering to the table.

I’ve been at a few where friends have said there was an unsettled bar bill, or extra wine costs at the end, as the staff and guests didn’t realise the pre paid wine and run out, and just carried on bringing it/asking for more.  I don’t think it’s people taking the piss, it’s just not knowing the arrangements.

The whole DJ/entertainment, decorations thing is a good shout.  We had several places that seemed to think they knew what we wanted better than we did and got very pushy. Saying stuff like “No this is how we do it, it’s quite popular”.  It may be popular, but it might not be what you want and it’s your day.

Yes this a good shout what would be considered an average number of bottles per table? We're not big drinkers personally but don't want to stand in the way of those who are.

[Riquende]

Standard sizes of wine servings are 125ml (6 per bottle) 175ml (4 per bottle) or 250ml (3 per bottle) so it depends on how generous you're being and how many people are going to be on each table.

Last one I went to had 2 bottles per table of 8, (1 red, 1 white) to allow each guest a free 'mid size' glass. Given that some people don't drink (or don't drink wine) and some people will be driving etc. there's usually enough sloshing around for a bit extra for anyone who wants it.

[reddebs]

From the bride's side of things and a hairdresser find out about rooms to get ready in if you're staying at the venue the night before.

Trying to squeeze the bride and maids plus mums, nans etc along with stylists, makeup artists, all our kit plus a photographer into a standard sized hotel bedroom doesn't work.


The best ones will offer a large room with tables, chairs and at least 2 windows for us to have natural light to work in.  It's also a good idea to have breakfasts with tea and coffee brought to the room as some weddings we're there from 5am and get very grouchy if we've not had loads of caffeine and bacon butties 😁 oh and plenty of plug sockets or a long cabled, four socket extension.

If you're staying the night before you'll usually only have access to your rooms from 12pm, sometimes later so make sure there's somewhere secure to leave all your overnight luggage depending on the time of the service.

[Indomitable_Carp]

I´m engaged as well but we´ve thankfully sacked off the idea of a big fancy wedding ceremony.

One of the rooms in St. Georges Hall. My close family, her close family (all the way from Chile).

Reception with mates after - I´m thinking Sefton Cricket Club or something along those lines.

Seperate piss up for our mates here in Spain. Probably rent a villa for the weekend somewhere along the coast.

Still a year away so got loads of time to plan. Sorted.

[Kekule]

Yes this a good shout what would be considered an average number of bottles per table? We're not big drinkers personally but don't want to stand in the way of those who are.

I think a couple of small-medium glasses per person (+1 glass of sparkling wine for the toast and/or arrival at the reception, fruit juice for the non drinkers) is more than generous.  There’ll be people who don’t drink, there’ll be people who will prefer a beer or other option from the bar, and people who won’t want to drink that much, so it should even itself out and be plenty.

Ultimately you’re paying for their dinner and a couple of free drinks, so don’t bankrupt yourself on the booze. The freeloading bastards can get their own if they want to get completely wrecked!

[pazcom]

My eldest (step) daughter is getting married this August. Bloddy nightmare as she wanted me to do the 'father of the bride' stuff which I would have loved to have done but I know that her biological dad will just hold it against her for the rest of days. Thankfully her grandad is still around so he's going to do most of that stuff.

[rob1966]

We went for 3 bottles of wine per table for the sit down meal/afternoon, any not drunk then will be consumed during the evening.

For your night do, don't cater for everyone who will be turning up, you'll end up with loads of wasted food, the venue should be able to advise on that.