Author Topic: Alan Partridge - including Alpha Papa (Read 556365 times)

El Phes · « **Reply #80 on:** January 4, 2006, 03:23:34 pm »

Quote from: crownpaints on October 30, 2005, 04:03:28 pm

Have you got a battery for an Ericsson?

Would it be awfully rude if I stopped listening to you......

Fitzy. · « **Reply #81 on:** January 4, 2006, 03:26:39 pm »

Quote from: alllan on January 3, 2006, 05:54:15 pm

I only really discovered alan p late on. Ive only seen the 2 series of im alan p, and knowing me knowing you.

Is there any chance of some sort of list of everything thing else hes done? Any any info on where to get hold of some of his older material?

Cheers

Apart from the two I'm AP series and Knowing Me Knowing You series he was also a sports reporter on The Day Today - The Chris Morris spoof news show.

His early work is on radio. "On the Hour" was the radio version of the Day Today. There are also CDs available for his Radio 4 version of Knowing Me Knowing You. Both very good.

It's difficult to buy these in the shops. Try Amazon:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/026-4393801-1065202

nidgemo · « **Reply #82 on:** January 4, 2006, 03:29:16 pm »

Quote from: Elphesadente on January 4, 2006, 03:23:34 pm

Would it be awfully rude if I stopped listening to you......

"Alan - this is the head of news and documentaries"

"and?"

fudge · « **Reply #83 on:** January 4, 2006, 03:33:06 pm »

Quote from: Tim that is called Tim on January 4, 2006, 01:00:20 pm

What is it Micheal says about thowing a monkey in the sea for eating his fags?

I hoyed a monkey in the sea for eating me fags man.

RedZen · « **Reply #84 on:** January 4, 2006, 03:33:47 pm »

Take a piece of white maaaaaaaaaan
Wrap him up in black skiiiiiiiiin
Something else in Geordieeeeeee

fudge · « **Reply #85 on:** January 4, 2006, 03:41:18 pm »

Alan:
Please! Oi! Hey! Stop, everyone! Are you staring at me?
Phil:
No...
Alan:
Err... the thing is... I want to point out that Hope was crushed but it was Hope the cockroach, not hope the, the ideal. Hope, ho... ho... hope the... the... the... what are they laughing at? No...
Phil:
Alan, are you alright?
Alan:
Yeah, I'm fine! Erm, you didn't crush a beetle? You didn't crush John Lennon -- he's a beetle, didn't crush him. He's... that would have been bad he's already... dead. Paul McCartney's still alive he's doing... with Linda...
Phil:
Are you sure you're alright?
Alan:
...McCartney, she's doing the vegetarian dishes... microwave dishes, erm, vitamin deficiency, erm, and I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm really hungry, actually! I'm really hungry! Have you got any corn flakes? No? With sugar...
Phil:
No...
Alan:
I'm just... I just like frozen food. I like going home, and get the frozen food and cook it... and it's really nice... put it in a bowl and eat it, right and I put the video on and I've got... err... TV! And err it's the biggest TV you can get...
Phil:
Alan, have you taken something?
Alan:
Six feet across! TV... and it's like a big eye, in the room and it sort of stares at me! It scares me! I don't like it!
Phil:
Alan!
Alan:
I don't like it! I'm not going home tonight!
Phil:
Alan!
Alan:
What? What?
Phil:
I think you've taken some drugs.
Alan:
I've taken drugs!
Phil:
Yes.
Alan:
I, I, I have taken... on that bombshell! I, Alan Partridge have taken drugs..

crownpaints · « **Reply #86 on:** January 4, 2006, 04:08:22 pm »

Technically Lynn, your life isn't worth insuring.

Fitzy. · « **Reply #87 on:** January 4, 2006, 05:28:04 pm »

"You are a posh sod with plums in your mouth"

Iainthered · « **Reply #88 on:** January 4, 2006, 05:35:47 pm »

Jurassic park!

Spine in a bap is classic.....

The one on The Day Today where he's reviewing the world cup - commentating over some footage of a game when a player lashes the ball in the top corner from 20 yards and Alan goes "he hit that one like a traction engine". Then the striker's team-mate follows it up by lashing the ball back in as it bounces out of the goal and Alan goes "Oh.. he's scored another one". Pure class.

Tuesday · « **Reply #89 on:** January 21, 2006, 04:26:59 am »

Go to London. I'll guarantee you'll be either mugged or not appreciated.

medley · « **Reply #90 on:** January 21, 2006, 02:00:18 pm »

Favourite episode has to be the obsessed fan that he meets in the hotel. Laugh every time when he runs off into the country side. What does he shout at the guy before doing so?

Love the episode when alan tries to give a apolgy to the farmer over the radio. Oh and where him and michael go to steal traffic cones on the motorway but the police turn up and you see michael sprinting off on the security camera, haha

Didnt this morris fellow do the Brass eye TV show? I remember crying of laughter when they showed the paedophile episode.

Fat Tony · « **Reply #91 on:** January 21, 2006, 02:02:40 pm »

Quote from: medley on January 21, 2006, 02:00:18 pm

Favourite episode has to be the obsessed fan that he meets in the hotel. Laugh every time when he runs off into the country side. What does he shout at the guy before doing so?

"No way you big spastic, your a mentalist!"

medley · « **Reply #92 on:** January 21, 2006, 02:10:45 pm »

Quote from: Fat Tony on January 21, 2006, 02:02:40 pm

"No way you big spastic, your a mentalist!"

ah right thx

i saw that quote further back but thought that was a different episode

The Bill Hicks Appreciation Society · « **Reply #93 on:** January 21, 2006, 02:30:31 pm »

Quote from: medley on January 21, 2006, 02:00:18 pm

Didnt this morris fellow do the Brass eye TV show? I remember crying of laughter when they showed the paedophile episode.

this morris fellow! this morris fellow! yes the genius that is chris morris did play the farmer.

i reccommend you go here and get blue jam now.

fudge · « **Reply #94 on:** January 24, 2006, 11:15:13 pm »

Quote from: The Bill Hicks Appreciation Society on January 21, 2006, 02:30:31 pm

this morris fellow! this morris fellow! yes the genius that is chris morris did play the farmer.

i reccommend you go here and get blue jam now.

think i saw chris morris cameoing in that new comedy on BBC about the IT department

crownpaints · « **Reply #95 on:** January 25, 2006, 12:49:12 am »

Let battle commence!

fudge · « **Reply #96 on:** January 25, 2006, 12:11:16 pm »

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down!"

SuperSub77 · « **Reply #97 on:** January 25, 2006, 01:00:22 pm »

Quote from: Murf on March 2, 2004, 10:30:34 am

The one when he goes to bed with his #
secretary and she covers him with mousse
or yoghurt

"It looks like some sort of dirty buisness"

"This is where the idiot lives........BONOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Fat Tony · « **Reply #98 on:** January 25, 2006, 01:29:31 pm »

Quote from: SuperSub77 on January 25, 2006, 01:00:22 pm

"It looks like some sort of dirty buisness"

"Chocolate Mousse from a bowl is very nice, but to put it on a person is demented! Oh God, what if some one from the hotel staff were to walk in now? They may think it's some kind of dirty protest to the standrds of the hotel, which I happen to think is very good, I mean it's not 5 star, but it's certainly competitive"

SuperSub77 · « **Reply #99 on:** January 25, 2006, 01:34:09 pm »

Quote from: Fat Tony on January 25, 2006, 01:29:31 pm

"....They may think it's some kind of dirty protest...."

Hahaha - I actually realised I'd put an incorrect quote and came back here to correct it - well done Tony!

Apologies Tony, my 'Ukranian girlfriend has just tried to attack me with a rubber hammer'.

Dam · « **Reply #100 on:** January 25, 2006, 01:37:03 pm »

The episode when Alan sacks all his staff

When Lynn gets a nice comment about her outfit, and she replies, "Oh, I just threw it on."
Partridge's reply of, "Don't try and upstage Jill, " is quality

Matt S · « **Reply #101 on:** January 25, 2006, 01:38:49 pm »

AP: Its ok, lynne doesnt like.. the watersports. (pointing at the wet tshirt videos)
woman: Well, we dont do that kind of thing.
AP: Well yeah, you know, the wet tshirt videos.
Woman: well, thats not watersports Alan
AP: Whats watersports then?
Woman: you dont know?
AP: er, nope.
Woman: You mean you dont know what watersports are?
AP: I belive we've established that. Tell me what you mean by watersports.
woman: well, its when people relieve themselves on each other.
AP: *nervous whistle*, did you know there are no dutch elms left in britain.
AP: Disgusting
Lynne: Maybe these people, were caught short.
AP: They do it on purpose Lynne.

the good half · « **Reply #102 on:** January 25, 2006, 01:44:21 pm »

The funniest has got to be:

"DAN!!"

RedZen · « **Reply #103 on:** January 25, 2006, 03:11:37 pm »

Your a dwad, a dosser and a gid! Erm, that's git!

Buck Pete · « **Reply #104 on:** January 25, 2006, 03:36:23 pm »

Quote from: Egg on March 2, 2004, 08:22:11 am

one of the funniest ones I have seen is at the funeral I think its in the first series, when he turns up in a castrol gtx bomber jacket

Got to agree.

Classic piece of Comedy timing when he's mooching about the wake trying to 'Network' with the bereaved wife.

He turns round with THAT jacket on.

Quality.

hooded claw · « **Reply #105 on:** January 25, 2006, 03:38:19 pm »

The one where the inner lining of his shorts has perished and he has 'come free' when on the bed with Lynne. Classic.

the good half · « **Reply #106 on:** January 25, 2006, 03:52:12 pm »

What about the cheeky staff girl.
Alan: So do you want me to sort the bill out?
Sophie: No..I mean 'yes', you're right. It is confusing.

Fat Tony · « **Reply #107 on:** January 25, 2006, 04:00:31 pm »

Quote from: the good half on January 25, 2006, 03:52:12 pm

What about the cheeky staff girl.
Alan: So do you want me to sort the bill out?
Sophie: No..I mean 'yes', you're right. It is confusing.

Sophie : was it any good then?
Alan: I don't know I couldn't see it
Sophie : Which, Drivivng Miss Daisy or .......Bangkok Chick Boys

fudge · « **Reply #108 on:** January 25, 2006, 07:13:42 pm »

Quote from: Fat Tony on January 25, 2006, 04:00:31 pm

Sophie : was it any good then?
Alan: I don't know I couldn't see it
Sophie : Which, Drivivng Miss Daisy or .......Bangkok Chick Boys

Make porn come on my telly

Fat Tony · « **Reply #109 on:** January 25, 2006, 07:19:59 pm »

Quote from: fudge on January 25, 2006, 07:13:42 pm

Make porn come on my telly

*Looks at right hand, bandaged up* "Aaaaawww"

fudge · « **Reply #110 on:** January 25, 2006, 08:40:17 pm »

Quote from: Fat Tony on January 25, 2006, 07:19:59 pm

*Looks at right hand, bandaged up* "Aaaaawww"

crownpaints · « **Reply #111 on:** January 26, 2006, 08:06:41 pm »

We have someone on the line who fears he may be a gay. Now he is married and wishes to remain anonymous so I shall only be using his Christian name. Ok, I'm talking to DOMINGO in LITTLE OAKLEY. Oh, he's gone.

TheKid. · « **Reply #112 on:** January 26, 2006, 08:20:41 pm »

Quote from: crownpaints on January 26, 2006, 08:06:41 pm

We have someone on the line who fears he may be a gay. Now he is married and wishes to remain anonymous so I shall only be using his Christian name. Ok, I'm talking to DOMINGO in LITTLE OAKLEY. Oh, he's gone.

There's a lovely tapas bar there!

Buck Pete · « **Reply #113 on:** January 27, 2006, 12:43:27 pm »

Alan's In bed with the bird from his office.

"Do you mind if i talk?, Keep the Wolf from the door..so to speak"

the good half · « **Reply #114 on:** January 27, 2006, 12:47:31 pm »

"Oh Jill...Oh..you know your onions"

Fat Tony · « **Reply #115 on:** January 27, 2006, 01:29:27 pm »

Quote from: Buck Pete on January 27, 2006, 12:43:27 pm

Alan's In bed with the bird from his office.

"Do you mind if i talk?, Keep the Wolf from the door..so to speak"

"Jill, what do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre? Personally I'm dead against it because they forget people need access to Dixonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns"

Buck Pete · « **Reply #116 on:** February 4, 2006, 01:36:01 pm »

Quote from: the good half on January 27, 2006, 12:47:31 pm

"Oh Jill...Oh..you know your onions"

In the pub last night bantering about Alan Partridge

That quote was mentioned - well funny

vinyl1 · « **Reply #117 on:** February 4, 2006, 01:42:16 pm »

Marry Poppins !

Alan Partridge is genius !

vinyl1 · « **Reply #118 on:** February 4, 2006, 01:45:32 pm »

"Don't rub your fanny on me"

Party Phil · « **Reply #119 on:** February 4, 2006, 02:13:20 pm »

The flash backs in I'm Alan Partridge 1 are priceless.
"Do you want me to lapdance for you?"
"Like my Thong? It's vulcanised rubber, it won't corrode".

Love the one where he gets bored in the Travel Tavern.
He goes to the petrol station to buy 12 bottles of screenwash and sings Goldfinger on the way.
"Hello, Reception? I was bored and dismantled my Corby trouser press and was wondering it it'll show up on the bill."
"I'm looking for some speakers for my stereo, apropo achieving surround sound... Apropo, it means to in order to... Well you ought to have a basic grasp of latin, working in Currys!"