Strange the way things happen, isn't it?
I hardly ever post on here these days, don't think I've stepped into this boozer for about 5 months, not since I was moaning about our house purchase.
Yet tonight, as I lie here unable to sleep, I stumble across this thread for the first time and I read it. I'm not sure what I was expecting to find, but Barney's post on the first page knocked me for six.
On the 19th of March this year I found out I was going to be a dad for the first time. I was scared, but so excited. On the 28th of May I found out I was going to have a baby boy. We bought him clothes and toys, I built his cot and his changing table. Everything was ready for him, apart from us. On the 9th July, at 9pm, our son was born 22 weeks and 1 day in to his life. I was the first person to hold him, after I'd told the doctors that they could stop their failing attempts to keep his airways open. He died 4 hours later in his mum's arms.
His funeral was on the 23rd of July. The only song played was You'll Never Walk Alone. Never have those words meant more to me than they did as I carried my son's coffin to the front of the crematorium. I'd often fantasised about the first time my son and I would hear that song together. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined it would have been in those circumstances.
I haven't spoken of this to anyone outside of close friends, family and colleagues. It feels so strange to be writing it down. But I guess whatever brought me here on this night intended for me to share it.
I hope the pain has started to ease for your friend, Barney. I hope one day it does for us too.
Rest in peace, Oliver Philip Smith. YNWA.
