Topic: My mum is misremembering things, acting very strange, making things up...

[kj999]

Hi RAWKers.

I really don't know what else to do to seek some solace, comfort, or even just information, so I'm coming here in the hope that someone has experienced something like this and can offer any words of ... well i don't know what I want really. I feel very disconcerted and need to hear anything that might be deemed as positive, because I am terrified and fearing the worst.

My mum is 65, and in generally decent health. Certainly has never showed a single sign of any mental or cognitive illness ever in her life. I live in Bali and I video call home to mum and dad every single Sunday evening, without fail. So I can certainly tell if something is up with either of them.

Anyway, before this weeks call, my Dad WhatsApp's me seperately (not in the group WhatsApp we have) to say "just to ward you son, in case your mum says something weird" I was like, what do you mean? He says "she's been getting easily confused a lot this week, saying things that never happened etc"

Anyway so I called, and in about 20 minute call, my mum was indeed talking nonsense, remebering events that never happened, and seemingly forgetting what she was trying to say half the time. I asked 'what did you do at the weekend' my mum answers 'we took the car to the garage to get fixed' (they don't have a car and havent had one for years). She asked me what I was doing this week i said 'watching the World Cup' and she answered 'oh, yor dad was watching a game yesterday' (he wasn't). Then she told me she had booked a table for us at a restaurant to all have dinner together, which she hadn't, and as I'm in Bali it wouldnt be something we would do normally anyway. She said 'we have visitors (which is true), we are going out for dinner' but made reference to two totally different people even tho the visitors were in the room with her.

Anyway I ended the call and was very disturbed and alarmed... it seemed like my mum was completely losing the plot.

Later that evening my dad messaged me to say that mum had discovred that she had ran out of thyroid medicine a few weeks ago and forgot to order more. A bit of relief as a lack of thyroid meds could explain her strange behaviour... but this relief was shattered when my dad went to the Doc to check and the Doc said she was taken off Thyroid meds 4 years ago... so actually unlikely to be that and is another figment of my mums imagination.

Then yesterday one of her mates turned up at the door out of the blue, apparently my mum invited her but she didnt remembr.. anyway she came in for a cuppa and my dad said he was listening to what my mum was telling her and it was another load of absolute made up events that my mum seems to have invented out of thin air, but telling her mate it happened yesterday or this week or whatever and none of it actually happened.

I'm absolutely terrified. Of course my thoughts imediately turn to those scary things, Alzhiemers or Dementia. I don't know much about them and have never lived with or had a loved one affected by them. But this doesn't seem to fit... it's come on all so suddenly, literally in a week, and she has zero previous of this, usually as sharp as a nail. Also not really 'forgetting' things, more liike she is just making things up that never happened but then telling people about it like it was real events.

She's had bloods but we have to wait a week for results 
And at the speed at which she is 'deterioraring' (i hesitate to use that word...i mean the symptoms are getting worse) then i don't know what to think.

If anyone has any knowledge of this kind of thing or has heard of instances like this? I don't really know what i am expecting really but more just I am going out of my mind with worry and wondering if anyone else has experienced behaviour like this from a loved one, and what it was... :'(

[telekon]

Hey mate, sorry to hear.

I have zero expertise in the field, but why didn't your dad just take her to the doctor? He should have done that at the first sign of it, like the very first instance she was saying nonsensical or untrue things?

To me, again, no medical training, it seems like the results of a stroke or aneurysm.

I'd ask your dad to take her to the hospital so that she can get a proper examination, evaluation, and testing.

All the best to you and your family.

[kj999]

Hey mate, sorry to hear.

I have zero expertise in the field, but why didn't your dad just take her to the doctor? He should have done that at the first sign of it, like the very first instance she was saying nonsensical or untrue things?

To me, again, no medical training, it seems like the results of a stroke or aneurysm.

I'd ask your dad to take her to the hospital so that she can get a proper examination, evaluation, and testing.

All the best to you and your family.

He took her when it became very apparent, and she's had bloods taken. But they said we have to wait for the bloods results now before they can do anything else.

[duvva 💅]

Sorry to hear this. Again no expert, but I spent a short time in hospital 10 years ago and one chap on my ward started acting very similarly, doing strange things, forgetting stuff etc. it turned out he had developed an infection (I think it was urinary), and apparently it can bring on similar type behaviour and symptoms to a person with dementia. Once they started antibiotics he was fine again.

Obviously it don’t sound great from what you describe but occasionally there can be another explanation, but equally don’t want to give you any false hope.

Fingers crossed for you all

[reddebs]

Hi mate really sorry that this has happened and that you're on the other side of the world and feeling so helpless.

That does sound very similar to my mum when she had a minor stroke so I'm surprised all they've done is take bloods.

Having said that it could also be an infection as mum also displayed those symptoms frequently at the onset of one.

I'm not a medic but saw enough with my mum from a young age to recognise the signs however she was an insulin dependent diabetic so any imbalances to her blood sugars would display similar symptoms.   

I'd be inclined to take her to A&E if she doesn't improve before you get her blood results and get dad to insist it's totally out of character and happened out of the blue.

[No666]

I have some experience of dementia and old people (writing features questioning the experts in the field, running workshops with sufferers, own father having had it) but I am not a medic. Alzheimer's would not present that suddenly. Does the blood test cover a UTI? (Usually pee tested in my experience). UTI is a prime cause of confusion in the elderly. Also dehydration doesn't help - is she drinking enough water during the day?
Good luck, mate.

[El Lobo]

Has she been in hospital for anything else recently? A long shot but the missus Nan was in hospital recently for an operation on her bowel and had a few med changes and she had about two weeks of very odd behaviour, she was in hospital for a week and she was convinced that they were taking her to a room during the night and water torturing her, there were men with guns patrolling the corridors at night, she was sending messages to loads of people telling them she was worried about getting out, she was constantly ringing her lawyer to ask him to document everything as she was going to sue the government when she got out and bring it all crashing down but she's absolutely fine now

[Sheer Magnetism]

To second what Lobo is saying, my dad had a brief spell two or three years ago where he wasn't really there mentally and it turned out it was to do with medication he was on for an unrelated medical issue. He's fine now. Is she on any medication for anything at the moment?

[Son of Spion]

I have some experience of dementia and old people (writing features questioning the experts in the field, running workshops with sufferers, own father having had it) but I am not a medic. Alzheimer's would not present that suddenly. Does the blood test cover a UTI? (Usually pee tested in my experience). UTI is a prime cause of confusion in the elderly. Also dehydration doesn't help - is she drinking enough water during the day?
Good luck, mate.

I'm so sorry to hear this, kj999.

I just wanted to say that my experience is similar to this post by No666.

I used to care for elderly and/or disabled people and have seen how Urinary Tract Infection can cause great confusion. We also had this with my late father-in-law, who became extremely confused when he had UTIs. I had no idea such infection could cause such symptoms until I worked with them and saw it for myself.

As distressing as it is, it can be addressed, so hopefully this is what's going on here rather than something more serious.

All the best, and please let us know how things go.

[TheRedBaron]

My dad had the same symptoms about a month ago and it turned out to be an enlarged prostate which had stopped his kidneys working and caused a UTI. I would get your dad to take her to A&E and get a proper check out. My dad got sorted and he is fine now.

[Nobby Reserve]

I have some experience of dementia and old people (writing features questioning the experts in the field, running workshops with sufferers, own father having had it) but I am not a medic. Alzheimer's would not present that suddenly. Does the blood test cover a UTI? (Usually pee tested in my experience). UTI is a prime cause of confusion in the elderly. Also dehydration doesn't help - is she drinking enough water during the day?
Good luck, mate.

I agree about UTI's causing mayhem with the mental facilties of more elderly people, so could be this (but I'd have thought the Doctor would have tested for it? Isn't it normally a urine sample?)

The symptoms do sound like dementia. They describe my mum's behaviour almost exactly (she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 3 years ago). They're symptoms that can, unfortunately, creep up on you. They did with my wife's mum. She'd always been a bit dizzy and so everyone wrote off the initial mild sysmptoms. My wife's dad died, followed days after by her mum's sister having a massive stroke and dying. We initially thought she'd had a bit of a mental health episode as she started exhibiting confusion and memory loss, but it became apparent she had developed dementia and was subsequently diagnosed (Alzheimer's). 

With my mum, the onset was a little more gradual, but there was a point when it was like a bit of a cliff-edge in terms of regression. She also snaps into and out of her delusions.

KJ, with you being in Bali, you're not seeing your mum regularly and perhaps haven't witnessed some milder symptoms that were stepping stones, so maybe this hasn't been as totally sudden as it seems.

I do hope this is a temporary thing and she regains full mental fitness shortly. However, if it is dementia, then there are medications that can slow the regression - but they're most effective when started early on. My dad buries his head in the sand for months and refused to even talk to my mum about it. It took me and my wife (we had had experience with her mum) going behind their backs to hatch a plan with her GP to get her in for a 'routine' check-up, where he did a memory & behaviour test. Things progressed from that - but despite the GP explainign it to her and her seeming to accept it, she's since visciously denied having any problem whenever I've tried to talk to her about it (my dad did try once, she flared at him, and he won't go there again)

Good luck with it - but don't let your dad sit on this. Fight for a diagnosis.

[rob1966]

Like Nobby says, the description does fit dementia, had this with the father in law and the mother in law, but the sudden onset is just like what happened to both of them when they got a urinary infection, her Dad especially went really bad, started swearing and being aggressive, which was the absolute opposite of him as a person.

[liverbloke]

sorry to hear about this kj999

i automatically thought it could possibly be a water infection after reading your post especially regarding it coming on suddenly as i believe forms of dementia have a drip drip effect and seem to manifest slowly over a period of time but get her looked at asap as it sounds completely out of character and therefore needs attention sooner rather than laeter

[rob1966]

sorry to hear about this kj999

i automatically thought it could possibly be a water infection after reading your post especially regarding it coming on suddenly as i believe forms of dementia have a drip drip effect and seem to manifest slowly over a period of time but get her looked at asap as it sounds completely out of character and therefore needs attention sooner rather than laeter

Yeah, both the inlaws had shown signs for quite a long time, her Dad was a proper hypocondriac, so we all thought he was over playing it - about a year after diagnosis, the speed at which he went though was frightening, within a week he went for coping well to totally unable to take care of himself.

[AlphaDelta]

Sorry your facing this pal, I know all too well what its like to worry about a parent.

Recently my dad was very, very confused which came on quite suddenly and it transpired to be a lack of salt in his system.

Again, as others have touched on, a water/UTI infection can cause these type of symptoms also.

If your family are frustrated with waiting for the blood tests, nip her down to A&E.

Good luck mate

[KillieRed]

Sorry to hear this. Again no expert, but I spent a short time in hospital 10 years ago and one chap on my ward started acting very similarly, doing strange things, forgetting stuff etc. it turned out he had developed an infection (I think it was urinary), and apparently it can bring on similar type behaviour and symptoms to a person with dementia. Once they started antibiotics he was fine again.

Obviously it don’t sound great from what you describe but occasionally there can be another explanation, but equally don’t want to give you any false hope.

Fingers crossed for you all

I just want to echo Duvva, same thing happened to my uncle. He’d kept putting off getting an operation on an “infected” leg. It turned out to be gangrenous eventually & then suddenly he started exhibiting strange behaviours out of the blue. As you say it came on very suddenly after he went into hospital for treatment on his leg. Asking the nurses for cigarettes etc when he’d quit 20 years previously. Heartbreaking in his case. Hopefully your mum has treatment available to remedy things.

[Saltashscouse]

Sorry to hear this mate but i just want to reiterate what most people have said .My mother in law had a water infection and it affected her with very similar circumstances to what your mum is going through .
She was totally confused , couldn't tell if it was  6 am or 6 pm ( it was summer time with light mornings and evenings ) She would forget to take her medication , wasn't eating and was making up stories about all kinds of things
She was admitted to hospital and put on a drip , within a couple of days she was back to her old self . Apparently  dehydration can bring it on ( Hers  was during a heat wave ) The main culprit was a Sodium deficiency which leads to confusion .
Hopefully that is all is wrong with your mum, being miles away makes the situation a thousand times worse I expect.
Wishing her a speedy recovery

[kj999]

Hello fellow Reds

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and experiences about this. As i said in my opening post, i'm terrified of what this might be and I am of course jumping to the worst (ie most obvious or 'well known') conclusion when it comes to this kind of behaviour. But as i said, the sudden nature of it doesn't fit with the general progrssion of alzheimers/dementia. It is very reassuring to hear that there are other possible causes and thus, potentially positive outcomes. Thank you for sharing, it gives me comfort to see there are other possibilities to this. And i don't want to 'get my hopes up' because it could of course end up being the dreaded thing, but it just doesnt make sense for it to be that... and i hope it is one of the less serious things you guys have mentioned.

It does seem to be fatigue plays a major factor - mum is exhausted very quickly recently. After a good night sleep she is 'normal' in th morning and for a few hours... but by lunchtime she is very tired and beginning to fabricate things again. I don't know if that helps in anyones opinon of what it might be.

I know its just a waiting game for the results, then we go from there. But just having the solace of having a few ears on here, and among mates, is helping. Cheers guys.

[gazzam1963]

My dad had the same symptoms about a month ago and it turned out to be an enlarged prostate which had stopped his kidneys working and caused a UTI. I would get your dad to take her to A&E and get a proper check out. My dad got sorted and he is fine now.

Exactly the same happened to my dad about six months ago and he too got sorted , my mum has been diagnosed with early stage dementia and is forgetting a lot . It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and the usual messages were left from Facebook friends on there then noticed one of my mum saying how much he misses me and my funny ways …she was confusing me with her nephew who died about five years ago 

[vladis voice]

Appreciate how worrying this will be for you (made worse by the distance I'm sure..even these days with video calls etc). There are, however, lots and lots of non-dementia medical causes that can cause a rapid onset of delirium type symptoms as many have mentioned already from infections through to dehydration and changes in medications etc - I suspect the GP has asked for a blood test to check for these causes first - many of them are easy enough to treat so hopefully this is the case for your mum and she will be back to her old self soon enough.

[Slippers]

Yeah, both the inlaws had shown signs for quite a long time, her Dad was a proper hypocondriac, so we all thought he was over playing it - about a year after diagnosis, the speed at which he went though was frightening, within a week he went for coping well to totally unable to take care of himself.

Our next door neighbour's dementia seemed to come out of the blue(he asked me to go to bed with him) but when we thought about it the signs had been there for about a year.At the time we put it down to things like his hearing not being great and the general forgetfulness that can come with old age.

My father was autistic so his dementia was very difficult to spot,the best way I can describe it is to say he became an exaggeration of his usual self.When I took him for a memory test the only thing he got right was his first name and the doctor told me the dementia had started at least two years earlier.

[kj999]

Thanks everyone, some really useful stuff here, a lot of which I didn;t even know existed, and is some crumb of comfort knowing that there is perhaps a simple and fixable explanation. My mum was better yesterday in the morning when shewas fresh from a good night sleep, apparently was acting perfectly normal, but by lunchtime after coming back from the shops, she was again making things up, making reference to my sister being in the other room even tho she lives in London and wasnt in the house, and then in the afternoon she video called a family member for no apparent reason and was talking in fabriactions to her. It seems when she gets tired (which is A LOT and VERY QUICKLY these past few weeks) then the memory stuff gets a lot worse.

Bloods and tests have been delayed (bloody NHS) but should be sorted today, so hopefully will know more in the next couple of days.

[John C]

Sorry to hear that you're going through this mate, I fully sympathise and empathise.
Hopefully some blood tests and/or treatment can help.

Beyond that it could be a few things as mentioned above, it doesn't sound like Parkinsons (although that can cause hallucinations) - but I don't think anyone has mentioned Picks Disease yet?

Good luck to you and your family.

[redbyrdz]

I don't know what thyroid problem she had, and why medication was stopped, but an underactive thyroid will make you tired. That should come out in the blood tests though.

Fingers crossed they find whats wrong with her and can fix it quickly.

[kj999]

Thanks guys.

Doc is making her a top priority and will know tomorrow or Friday what the bloods indicate. Fingers crossed its something easily identifyable and repairable.

[kj999]

ok so as soon as the blood results came through, mum was rushed to A+E with criticallly low sodium levels. Is now on an IV and hopefully recovering. It seems like it was the low sodium causing the memory problems. Obviously the underlying cause of that needs to be sorted, but i am so relieved it seems to be that rather than any nureological issue. Hopefully mum is back to normal soon!

[peelyon]

Glad its a positive update! Fingers crossed.

[duvva 💅]

Great to hear

[Crosby Nick]

Good news kj. My mum had something similar recently when she was in hospital for an operation. Think she picked up an infection but also had a drop in sodium levels which left her quite confused for a day or two. All seems sorted now and she’s certainly returned to her old self in terms of memory so hopefully it’ll be the same for your mum.

[reddebs]

That's fantastic news mate 👍

[KillieRed]

Good news! Hopefully easily treatable.

[Grobbelrevell]

Really pleased to read your latest update, KJ. Fingers crossed your mum is on the mend and back home soon enough!

[[new username under construction]]

Fingers crossed for her and you mate

[Son of Spion]

Whilst still a traumatic experience for your mum and yourself, I'm so glad it's turned out to be far less serious than feared, and also highly treatable too.

Love and hugs to you both. Do keep us informed on your mum's recovery.

[Nobby Reserve]

Echo everyone else's thoughts and hope she makes a full recovery

[Slippers]

ok so as soon as the blood results came through, mum was rushed to A+E with criticallly low sodium levels. Is now on an IV and hopefully recovering. It seems like it was the low sodium causing the memory problems. Obviously the underlying cause of that needs to be sorted, but i am so relieved it seems to be that rather than any nureological issue. Hopefully mum is back to normal soon!

Good news,fingers crossed for a speedy recovery.

[Hazell]

ok so as soon as the blood results came through, mum was rushed to A+E with criticallly low sodium levels. Is now on an IV and hopefully recovering. It seems like it was the low sodium causing the memory problems. Obviously the underlying cause of that needs to be sorted, but i am so relieved it seems to be that rather than any nureological issue. Hopefully mum is back to normal soon!

Good to hear mate, hopefully all will be sorted soon

[jillcwhomever]

ok so as soon as the blood results came through, mum was rushed to A+E with criticallly low sodium levels. Is now on an IV and hopefully recovering. It seems like it was the low sodium causing the memory problems. Obviously the underlying cause of that needs to be sorted, but i am so relieved it seems to be that rather than any nureological issue. Hopefully mum is back to normal soon!

That’s good news, hopefully she’ll be back on the road to recovery soon.

[hixxstar]

Hopefully mum is back to normal soon!

Wishing you all the best mate... 

Y.N.W.A.   

[surfer. Fuck you generator.]

Aye, thankfully it's not one of the more serious potential causes.

Good to hear, she should be sorted soon.