Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[Johnny Foreigner]

Both my old man and his had drink problems. They were also married long term and to be honest their addiction for large parts of their lives caused long and arduous problems for their partner and their offspring.

Didn't mean to suggest that it cures the problem; in some aspects it destroys other peoples life, was just meaning that for some it helps people slow down drinking if you realize that you can really fuck things up if you don't take control

[Johnnyboy1973]

Didn't mean to suggest that it cures the problem

I know

Best get your boy married off ASAP 

[Johnny Foreigner]

I know

Best get your boy married off ASAP 

he's 8, but he's into football, fight club on eurosport, swearing and he takes long showers so i'm just about to give up..

[fowlermagic]

The only issue this guy has his choice in beer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqHOE1gD4WQ

[Corkboy]

The only issue this guy has his choice in beer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqHOE1gD4WQ

I'm calling that fake.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

i say its real. only cos i know how i look when pissed. and the laid back walking gets me everytime. and the walking backwards trying to open a door. lol.

[C]

how you doing with it all mate?

[Sir Harvest Fields]

getting sick of lemonade to be fair lol. and got a shitty virus so im laid up. last time i stoped i fell ill too lol.

[redbyrdz]

johnnyboy, i see what u r saying. and u r right. christ, u get help from the NHS to stop smoking but none for booze and as far as im concerned its just as bad a drug.

Thats not really true though. I knew someone who had drinking problems and finally told his doctor, and he set him up with and appointment in a NHS clinic. They did mostly in-house stuff, where you went for 2-3 weeks and stayed there, but my mate only went for a couple of talks with them and kept working and so on. Have to say it didn't work for him, but its not true that theres nothing of the NHS.
If you google for NHS services in your area, you'll probably find something.

[Linton]

getting sick of lemonade to be fair lol. and got a shitty virus so im laid up. last time i stoped i fell ill too lol.

Hang in there mate! Take the opportunity to download som quality TV-shows if youre home ill. Would recommend The Wire or Brotherhood  .

[scatman]

hey mate good luck, hope your getting on track!

[rutlandred]

getting sick of lemonade to be fair lol. and got a shitty virus so im laid up. last time i stoped i fell ill too lol.

I remember when I quit smoking and was ill for a week, brilliant isn't it, you try and help yerself and get ill in the process..! lol  treat it as one big detox mate, the body getting rid of all the shite that's inside - kind of a fresh start.  And as far as DVD's are concerned - The street got me through my last near death man flu disease.

BT- You tried drinking tomato juice, can't stand the stuff myself lol...but my old man swore by it when he stopped the booze..

[AndyInVA]

Stopping after a long time of boozing is extremely hard.

One bit of simple advice.

Stay out of the fucking pub. If you're not going there with a bunch of guys for a night out, there is no reason to be there.

I used to drink up to 1/2 bottle of vodka a night and these things worked for me.

Just plain stopping i almost impossible at first.

On your way home, buy a 4 pack or a six pack, then don't buy any more, that's your limit for that night. Only ever buy booze in quantities that you can finish in one night. Pour all your hard spirits, vodka etc. down the sink. No good will come of them.

Other techniques I used were substitution. Whenever I had that urge for alcohol, I would make a cup of tea, or eat a yogurt.

Boredom is threat to all alcoholics. You have to find something to do. Golf in the summer. Sounds stupid, but it worked for Alice Cooper. He took up golf to give himself something to do to stay away from alchohol.

Xbox, TV, porn are simple. Walks, gym, stay at work longer. Join something. Do something else other than sitting at home.

Alcoholism and stopping are somewhat linked to depression.

Even going to the docs for some short term depression meds will help you achieve all the above.

Good luck.

You'll need it.

The only other help you get is when you do something so insanely stupid when you are drunk that your recovery will be court ordered or you fuck up your body so bad, some doctor will scare the living shit out of you.

I know its harsh, but sadly its true.

Seriously, good luck, but the only person who can really help is you.

[7777]

Good advice there Andy

I did the buying what I could drink that night thing. I pretty much stopped drinking in the week using that approach.

I used to think I needed a drink when I came in from work cos I'd had a shit day but I really didn't, I now have beers in the fridge which often stay untouched for ages.

It works

[AndyInVA]

Personally I cant do that. If I have beer in the fridge its hard for me not to drink it.  The only self control I have is to not buy it.

When I stopped buying it, I went through every bottle I hasd in the house over a few months. It was wine, sherry, port, all liquors and finally some horrendous moonshine. It was the only way.

Now the only bottle in the house is some champagne left over from my wedding. I even know that at some pont I will break down and finish that also.

But for the most part I have pretty much given up during the week.

The starnge thing is, I still have the massive urge inside me every now and then.

My wifes go to her mums every other Sunday. I use that to get fairly blasted and then its out of my system for a while.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

cheers guys. the doc told me to just stop dead could actually cause more probs. i dont drink in the day at all now. and limited myself to a drink weds, and sat/sun. whenever footy is on. i tried that last night and by all accounts as the game was so awful i should have necked the lot but got up this morn and id had under 3 pints. im getting there. slowly but surely.

[Canada Loves Anfield]

cheers guys. the doc told me to just stop dead could actually cause more probs. i dont drink in the day at all now. and limited myself to a drink weds, and sat/sun. whenever footy is on. i tried that last night and by all accounts as the game was so awful i should have necked the lot but got up this morn and id had under 3 pints. im getting there. slowly but surely.

Sorry havent been in here for a while, but have you been going to the gym?

[AndyInVA]

cheers guys. the doc told me to just stop dead could actually cause more probs. i dont drink in the day at all now. and limited myself to a drink weds, and sat/sun. whenever footy is on. i tried that last night and by all accounts as the game was so awful i should have necked the lot but got up this morn and id had under 3 pints. im getting there. slowly but surely.

good effort mate

you ron the right track

if you stick to that routine you will reduce by over half

just dont drink twice as much on three nights

I'm not joking either, its an easy compromise

just dont do it

stick to what you are doing and well done.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

not needed the gym yet. had loads of work which is sweating the crap off me. not had the time. ironic considering when i wanted to go i hadnt had any work for ages. the drink i had last night made me very light headed. normally i wouldnt get like that till after i had finished it. i dont crave a drink at the moment. as in wake up and have a beer. i fancied a beer earlier but was working. so, thats one down. and i actually had a beer in the pub last week, took me an hour to drink it, then left. didnt want another. and money isnt so much the prob as my local runs a tab. and im not in there no more. sweet!!!!!!

[Rusty]

Good to hear you are still going well with it mate, probably a good way to go first up just cutting down rather than going cold turkey.

From the sounds of it you will be saving plenty of cash by drinking less - one thing that will help you stay focused is to sit down and decide on a treat for yourself, and put away the money you would have spend on grog. When you've got enough, go out and get whatever it is (holiday/new clothes/whatever), you will enjoy it so much more than usual because (i) you have earned it from putting in the effort to cut back boozing, (ii) you will have been looking forward to it for a while, and (iii) you'll probably be sober when you get it!!

Good luck, keep up the updates...

[Sir Harvest Fields]

cheers rusty. i will admit i had beers watching the game yesterday. no nails left to bite. 5 i had. then nothing else. no booze at home or prior to the game. i know im getting there when i turn up and they wait for me to say what i want. lemonade or beer. no more beers on the bar waiting as i walk in.

[Lent§]

cheers rusty. i will admit i had beers watching the game yesterday. no nails left to bite. 5 i had. then nothing else. no booze at home or prior to the game. i know im getting there when i turn up and they wait for me to say what i want. lemonade or beer. no more beers on the bar waiting as i walk in.

Well done mate, seem to be coming along really well, there's no way i'd have stopped at 5 yesterday!

[And Could He Play]

Same old same old for me, can't see it changing. 8 cans a night. Except on nights i have the little un. Which is now 3 nights a week.

[And Could He Play]

Does that mean you don't want the situation to change, or you want to change it but you feel there's nothing you can do about it mate?

Being totally honest, i don't want it to change. Right i know thats sounds bad but i enjoy a beer while i chill on the couch. When i was with the ex i didnt do it as much cos she got a cob on with it every night. Now though, cold beer, footy/movie. Sound.

[Heathcote_Simpleton]

Where is your money coming from to pay for all of this?

Do you have a job/responsibility?

Who are your loved ones?

[And Could He Play]

Where is your money coming from to pay for all of this?

Do you have a job/responsibility?

Who are your loved ones?

What does job have to do with it, responsibilty yes, my daughter but i dont drink when shes here. also its hardly a fortune, 4 nights a week 8 cans for £6. If i go to town i'd spend a hell of a lot more, but dont do town that much, last week was my first time in ages. Cheers for your reply.

[Heathcote_Simpleton]

What does job have to do with it, responsibilty yes,

Job breeds responsibility.  If you need to keep it you have to limit it.  If you can't/won't control your drinking so that it interferes with your job then that is the first clue that there is problem.  I will get rat arsed on a Friday and Saturday but know I can't  get away with doing it other nights. 

Just throwing in some ideas.

Loved ones are a more important issue.  If you don't drink in front of your daughter does she still know you go for it when she's not there?  I've seen how some children/partners are scarred for life when drink takes their loved ones.  It just strikes me that if you love someone do something for them if not yourself.  Alcohol abusers have low self esteem.  Once your realise it not all about you then it can help your recognise how to tackle a problem.  I reduced my drinking when my son said he wanted me to be at his wedding.  He is 6.

[And Could He Play]

My little girl is 2.

[Heathcote_Simpleton]

My little girl is 2.

She will know sooner than you think.

[And Could He Play]

Very true, i'm not arguing with it. Really have no answer for you.

[Heathcote_Simpleton]

Not after an answer mate.

Next time you hold her just think what age you want her to be when you last see her.

Take care mate.

[jason42]

Harvest - just seen and read this thread.

It takes guts to come online and admit you have a problem. It takes guts to address that problem and actively work to solve it.

When I was 13 I got a job collecting glasses in the local social club and that started my drinking. I would be working every Friday, Saturday and Sunday and would have a few halves after the night had finished as all the staff would have a wind down drink. For the next few years that pattern continued and then I started working full time for my future in=laws in their squash club/wine bar. I was drinking all day and all night and it became HABITUAL rather than something I enjoyed or wanted or needed to do. One day I decided enough was enough and stopped. In the 20 odd years since I have literally hardly touched a drop.

You have admitted your problem and expressed a desire to stop. You can do it mate - you just have to break the habit and control the desire. You don't really need the drink but years of conditioned usage have led you to believe you do.

PM me any time you want to chat if you don't fancy doing it through this thread.....

Good luck fella - you can do it....

[AndyInVA]

I poured all the remaining alcohol I had in the house down the sink last Sunday. It was weird. I knew I was going to have an arguement with my wife and I didnt want alcohol clouding the matter. Since then its been tea and coke and orange juice.

It is amzing how strangely liberating it is to not have any in the house. makes the choice of whether to drink or not to drink a whole lot easier

[A Day 2 Remember]

The problem for me and most people (especially us Brits) is we do not think we have a problem. I realised i had a problem when my wife kicked me out of the house. I had already lost a couple of jobs that i made excuses for (always the bosses fault etc). After i stopped drinking i looked back at my life from 18 to 36 and i realised how many of my fu*k ups were due to alcohol. In fact nearly all of my mistakes, problems, arguments, fights, trouble involved alcohol in some way.

Since i have stopped drinking i just make better decisions, in fact it becomes contagious i find myself always stepping back and taking more time over my decisions. I stopped drinking on April 28th 2008 and today i just automatically make better decisions.

I am doing extremely well in my job, I've lost over a stone (15 pounds), not only am i back with my wife but we are expecting another child, my wife constantly tells me how good a father i am and now i actually believe her when she compliments me. I do not go out of my way to be a better husband and father it just seems to come naturally now. I have so much energy and at 38 i feel better and younger than when i was in my early 30's.

There have been too many benefits to list in this post but pm me if you want more details.

I did join a group that helps people get over hurts, hang ups and addictive behaviour. It was an eye opener to realise how many addictive behaviours i had once the cloud of alcohol was lifted life became clearer and way more enjoyable. One of addictive behaviours that I'm still working on is spending too much time on this site!

I type this post not to brag but to offer hope that you can adopt to a differnet life style that will be more rewarding to you and those who you surround your self with. Its a strange dichotomy how you may lose some acquaintances but you will gain many more. The relationships you build will again be more rewarding for both parties.

By the way i did not drink during the week but i would get on it on the weekends. I'd look for any excuse to go out with the boys and did not have an off switch. I'd come home when the bar closed.

[gerrardspetal]

Nice of you to keep us updated Harvest.  Keep at it fella. Sounds like you are doing well so far x

[AndyInVA]

The problem for me and most people (especially us Brits) is we do not think we have a problem. I realised i had a problem when my wife kicked me out of the house. I had already lost a couple of jobs that i made excuses for (always the bosses fault etc). After i stopped drinking i looked back at my life from 18 to 36 and i realised how many of my fu*k ups were due to alcohol. In fact nearly all of my mistakes, problems, arguments, fights, trouble involved alcohol in some way.

Since i have stopped drinking i just make better decisions, in fact it becomes contagious i find myself always stepping back and taking more time over my decisions. I stopped drinking on April 28th 2008 and today i just automatically make better decisions.

I am doing extremely well in my job, I've lost over a stone (15 pounds), not only am i back with my wife but we are expecting another child, my wife constantly tells me how good a father i am and now i actually believe her when she compliments me. I do not go out of my way to be a better husband and father it just seems to come naturally now. I have so much energy and at 38 i feel better and younger than when i was in my early 30's.

There have been too many benefits to list in this post but pm me if you want more details.

I did join a group that helps people get over hurts, hang ups and addictive behaviour. It was an eye opener to realise how many addictive behaviours i had once the cloud of alcohol was lifted life became clearer and way more enjoyable. One of addictive behaviours that I'm still working on is spending too much time on this site!

I type this post not to brag but to offer hope that you can adopt to a differnet life style that will be more rewarding to you and those who you surround your self with. Its a strange dichotomy how you may lose some acquaintances but you will gain many more. The relationships you build will again be more rewarding for both parties.

By the way i did not drink during the week but i would get on it on the weekends. I'd look for any excuse to go out with the boys and did not have an off switch. I'd come home when the bar closed.

Great post. I feel very similar. As a Brit that moved abroad, it was only when I got somewhere else I realsied how insane the 20 somethng drinking culture is in the UK.

[And Could He Play]

A day to remember, know where you coming from, lost two women i loved mainly to do with alcohol. Not that i'd sit there all day drinking, just the things that come with it. Getting pissed coming home and not getting up for work etc, being more arsed about a bevvy than the people around me. Gutted about it now. Been trying to get back with my most recent ex for weeks, packed the ale in now, not completely but only twice a week now. She doesnt want to know anyway. Thing i'm trying to say is, its not only the drinking, it's the things that come with it.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

ah well guys. time for an update. and its not good. i fell off the wagon at high speed yesterday. Watched the England Argie Game re-run in the pub as i dont have a tv at home. 8 beers there. cider at home. lost the plot. started punching myself in the head and going nuts. dont know why. cops were called. i didnt know who was walking thru my front door. just heard mens voices. walked out with a gun in my hand thinking it was the pikeys who robbed the 2 old guys 2 doors down. well, it wasnt. 3 cops.  suffice it to say, one cs spray, 3 fucking hard whacks with the baton, flat on the gound gasping for breath, cop kneeling on me putting handcuffs on and a long night in the cells.

what can i say? i fucked up. booze is gonna be the death of me if im not careful. and it was going well till yesterday.

[Corkboy]

ah well guys. time for an update. and its not good. i fell off the wagon at high speed yesterday. Watched the England Argie Game re-run in the pub as i dont have a tv at home. 8 beers there. cider at home. lost the plot. started punching myself in the head and going nuts. dont know why. cops were called. i didnt know who was walking thru my front door. just heard mens voices. walked out with a gun in my hand thinking it was the pikeys who robbed the 2 old guys 2 doors down. well, it wasnt. 3 cops.  suffice it to say, one cs spray, 3 fucking hard whacks with the baton, flat on the gound gasping for breath, cop kneeling on me putting handcuffs on and a long night in the cells.

what can i say? i fucked up. booze is gonna be the death of me if im not careful. and it was going well till yesterday.

Firstly, nobody said it would be easy. You did fuck up, most people do.

Secondly, what the fuck are you doing with a gun?

[jason42]

Firstly, nobody said it would be easy. You did fuck up, most people do.

Secondly, what the fuck are you doing with a gun?