Author Topic: Spiders....  (Read 146515 times)

Online rob1966

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1720 on: December 19, 2019, 04:22:04 pm »
It’s a bit Alien vs Predator really. But ultimately, the spiders are far more likely to be hiding under your bed so I’m all for the wasps fighting back. And I do t want any smartarse saying you’re more likely to see spiders in your home because they eat all the other pests because I don’t want to hear it!
I’m on the spiders side there, wasps are bigger c*nts

Evil bastard things, the spider is only paralysed, the wasp will lay an egg in it and then the spider will be eaten alive.

That Tarantula Wasp has one of the worst stings going - just lie down and start screaming is the advice, then you at least won't get injured falling into things

Go to 10:50

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/MnExgQ81fhU" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/MnExgQ81fhU</a>
« Last Edit: December 19, 2019, 05:13:17 pm by robbed 1966 yorkies from kids' selection boxes »
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Offline I've been a good boy

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1721 on: December 19, 2019, 05:04:22 pm »
That picture just gave me chills. I can imagine Hell would be full of those creatures.

Offline Red Beret

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1722 on: December 19, 2019, 06:09:41 pm »
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/B80z0-LCwLM" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/B80z0-LCwLM</a>
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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1723 on: December 19, 2019, 06:31:26 pm »
Evil bastard things, the spider is only paralysed, the wasp will lay an egg in it and then the spider will be eaten alive.

That Tarantula Wasp has one of the worst stings going - just lie down and start screaming is the advice, then you at least won't get injured falling into things

Go to 10:50

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/MnExgQ81fhU" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/MnExgQ81fhU</a>

Spiders eat things alive too don’t they? Live by the sword, die by the sword motherfuckers.

Offline Crosby Nick

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1724 on: August 17, 2020, 11:08:01 am »
It’s the most shit your pants time of year...

Tucking my son into bed last night and a reasonable sized spider ran down his duvet. I knocked it to the floor and it scarpered under his bed. Dragged the bed out as far as possible and it was nowhere to be seen. Son is braver than me and went off to sleep anyway.

Guess we’re getting to that late summer stage where they start flocking indoors for the sole purpose of shitting us up of an evening for their amusement. Stay safe out there (yes, I know they’re ‘harmless’).

Offline CraigDS

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1725 on: August 17, 2020, 11:12:46 am »
We were staying at my gf’s parents on Sat and a massive fucker dropped from the ceiling about a foot away from my gf. It was that big we heard it hit the seat next to her as it bounced onto the floor. Must have been about 3” across it was that big.

Offline soxfan

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1726 on: August 17, 2020, 11:58:31 am »
We were staying at my gf’s parents on Sat and a massive fucker dropped from the ceiling about a foot away from my gf. It was that big we heard it hit the seat next to her as it bounced onto the floor. Must have been about 3” across it was that big.
Probably not the first time you've tried to convince your girlfriend that 3" is big.  :D
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Offline Crosby Nick

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1727 on: August 17, 2020, 12:08:35 pm »
Probably not the first time you've tried to convince your girlfriend that 3" is big.  :D

Even I refrained from tapping in that open goal.

Offline I've been a good boy

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1728 on: August 17, 2020, 12:08:38 pm »
It’s the most shit your pants time of year...

Tucking my son into bed last night and a reasonable sized spider ran down his duvet. I knocked it to the floor and it scarpered under his bed. Dragged the bed out as far as possible and it was nowhere to be seen. Son is braver than me and went off to sleep anyway.

Guess we’re getting to that late summer stage where they start flocking indoors for the sole purpose of shitting us up of an evening for their amusement. Stay safe out there (yes, I know they’re ‘harmless’).
Annoying that. I had a small one on my wall, gave it a smack and I thought it would fall to the floor but it just disappeared! Might have to subject it to medieval torture next time

Offline soxfan

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1729 on: August 17, 2020, 12:36:21 pm »
Even I refrained from tapping in that open goal.
:D
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Offline CraigDS

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1730 on: August 17, 2020, 12:37:35 pm »
Even I refrained from tapping in that open goal.

I left it there just for you too  :jester

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1731 on: August 17, 2020, 12:44:02 pm »
I remember once laying on the bed only wearing my bills - ladies calm down - watching telly and just noticed something moving on my chest.

I thought it was just a shadow or something when it moved - it was a big flippin spider!

Well I jumped up - Steve Irwin would've been ashamed - swiping the beast from my chest onto the floor and then spending the next hour trying to find it because I know it would come back when I least expected it.

So I got the ol' spider catcher out and finally got that bugger!

I drove it down the road - yes, I did, I have no shame - and dropped it off in a field.

All night I was watching the shadows just in case it came back in.

What a lame-o.





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Offline soxfan

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1732 on: August 17, 2020, 12:49:23 pm »
“Do not intermingle with people who act like 'they know it all'. If you do, you will wind up as lost and lonely as they are.”
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Offline kopite321

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1733 on: August 19, 2020, 06:36:36 am »
Fuck that...

https://twitter.com/realbritainros/status/1295352768828526594?s=20


I went wild swimming in Devon last week on my birthday. Afterwards, my ear was a bit clogged with water. Next day felt v sick, which I put down to birthday campfire rum. 3 days later I still had nausea & my ear ached. We went on a hilly car trip, altering pressure in my ears..

My ear started banging, cracking, whistling, & a feeling I can only describe as rustling. I stopped being able to communicate with anyone. The nausea was horrendous. I got out of the car spinning, grabbing at my ear... At this point I felt something emerging from it...
Real Britain
@realbritainros
·
Aug 17
I assumed at first it was wax. But no. It was moving, and its legs were still kicking. It was a spider. Not a small spider but a medium, thick-bodied spider. The nausea immediately lifted and I felt fine, except for being a bit traumatised, along with all my companions...
Real Britain
@realbritainros
·
Aug 17
A week later, I still feel terrible. The nausea came back and I had to go to A&E to "check for eggs & legs". No-one wants to hear that sentence with regards to their ear. Happily,  neither were present. But I've got an ear infection maybe where the spider bit or scratched me...
Real Britain
@realbritainros
·
Aug 17
And it's the first time, I've ever heard a triage nurse at A&E scream.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2020, 06:54:16 am by kopite321 »
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Offline reddebs

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1734 on: August 19, 2020, 07:35:54 am »
God you big babies, what's up with you? 

We don't have killer spiders in the UK, just leave them be.

I've stopped telling Paul if I've seen one or if there's one near him after he threw his spag bol in the air once.

It was drummed into me as a child " if you want to live and thrive, let the spiders run alive" [emoji4]

Offline bradders1011

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1735 on: August 19, 2020, 09:45:26 am »

We don't have killer spiders in the UK, just leave them be.


I used to be horrendously scared of them as a kid and young adult, but as I get older I'm more and more OK with them because I recognise this fact. Wouldn't want one in my ear like.

I think going to Australia helped. I slept in a granny flat next to my mate's house and going through the garden to it at night you could see a dozen or so Huntsmen on the side wall, with a few cm of metal and plasterboard between them and me. Exposure to really big buggers and knowing there were little hidden bad ones makes the ones we have here look like money spiders.
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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1736 on: August 19, 2020, 09:58:05 am »
They kill flies, so the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Happy to let them patrol the house.

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1737 on: August 19, 2020, 09:59:42 am »
I used to be horrendously scared of them as a kid and young adult, but as I get older I'm more and more OK with them because I recognise this fact. Wouldn't want one in my ear like.

I think going to Australia helped. I slept in a granny flat next to my mate's house and going through the garden to it at night you could see a dozen or so Huntsmen on the side wall, with a few cm of metal and plasterboard between them and me. Exposure to really big buggers and knowing there were little hidden bad ones makes the ones we have here look like money spiders.
It's the speed they move I think that scares people.  Many years ago one appeared out of my fireplace one night and it was so quick and big that at first I thought it was a mouse.

It ran out, scurried around for a bit then disappeared again.  It would do the same thing pretty much every night then it started getting a bit cocky and was strutting around like it owned the gaff [emoji16]

I named it Fred though it was more likely to be a female but something must have got her though cos she just stopped visiting.

I get the Aussie thing too.  I doubt I'd be so calm if they were dangerous ones.

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1738 on: August 19, 2020, 10:12:32 am »
They kill flies, so the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Happy to let them patrol the house.
This is where my childhood rhyme came from.  We lived across from a farm so the flies were everywhere and spider webs are cheaper than those fly killer strips or spray [emoji23][emoji23]

Offline Son of Spion

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1739 on: August 19, 2020, 12:47:35 pm »
I got in the car at the weekend and there was a really big and very impressive spider web the size of my steering wheel right in front of my face, anchored on the rear view mirror, gear stick and steering wheel. Sorry Spidey, but I can't drive with that in my face, so I had to destroy it.

Monday morning Mrs. S and I are going fishing. We get in the car and Spidey has built another masterpiece, but this time on the passenger side. Mrs. S doesn't want me to break the web because she likes spiders. Sadly for Spidey, one of his anchor points is the gear stick again, so as I go into gear I break his anchor line and part of the web is messed up. Spidey gets all the sympathy and I'm in the dog house now. I try telling Mrs. S that no way is Spidey going to catch anything in his web in the car anyway, so I'll evict him when we arrive in the countryside later. She's not convinced.

Anyway, on the drive, Mrs. S is enthralled as Spidey comes out from behind the sun visor and proceeds to gather up his entire web. I've never seen this before, and have no idea why he did it. Do they actually recycle the silk in some way?

When we park up to go fishing he's not visible, so I leave him alone. When we come back to the car that evening, he's built yet another web and this time he's sat in the middle of it. Sorry Spide, but it's time to go for your own good. He now lives in a nice wooded area where there actually are insects to catch.



« Last Edit: August 19, 2020, 04:59:13 pm by Son of Spion* »
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Offline Red Beret

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1740 on: August 19, 2020, 08:19:20 pm »
They kill flies, so the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Happy to let them patrol the house.

I've had an influx of those sodding little fruit flies lately after I had to eject several spiders for being too damned fucking big, and the smaller ones haven't quite figured out where to set up shop yet.
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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1741 on: August 19, 2020, 09:29:56 pm »
They kill flies, so the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Happy to let them patrol the house.
This one's either the greatest hunter of all time, or a complete slob who doesn't clean.

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Offline kopite.keith

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1742 on: August 19, 2020, 10:59:01 pm »
God you big babies, what's up with you? 

We don't have killer spiders in the UK, just leave them be.

I've stopped telling Paul if I've seen one or if there's one near him after he threw his spag bol in the air once.

It was drummed into me as a child " if you want to live and thrive, let the spiders run alive" [emoji4]

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/newsliverpool/dad-bitten-by-false-widow-spider-in-garden-ends-up-in-a-26e-with-horrific-wound/ar-BB17W7EH
When in Rome...

Offline keano7

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1743 on: August 19, 2020, 11:16:09 pm »
I got in the car at the weekend and there was a really big and very impressive spider web the size of my steering wheel right in front of my face, anchored on the rear view mirror, gear stick and steering wheel. Sorry Spidey, but I can't drive with that in my face, so I had to destroy it.

Monday morning Mrs. S and I are going fishing. We get in the car and Spidey has built another masterpiece, but this time on the passenger side. Mrs. S doesn't want me to break the web because she likes spiders. Sadly for Spidey, one of his anchor points is the gear stick again, so as I go into gear I break his anchor line and part of the web is messed up. Spidey gets all the sympathy and I'm in the dog house now. I try telling Mrs. S that no way is Spidey going to catch anything in his web in the car anyway, so I'll evict him when we arrive in the countryside later. She's not convinced.

Anyway, on the drive, Mrs. S is enthralled as Spidey comes out from behind the sun visor and proceeds to gather up his entire web. I've never seen this before, and have no idea why he did it. Do they actually recycle the silk in some way?

When we park up to go fishing he's not visible, so I leave him alone. When we come back to the car that evening, he's built yet another web and this time he's sat in the middle of it. Sorry Spide, but it's time to go for your own good. He now lives in a nice wooded area where there actually are insects to catch.




“Spidey comes out from behind the sun visor”.

At this point the car should be going head on with a tree or off a bridge. And if you’re lucky enough to survive, burn the thing. Fuck that.
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Offline thejbs

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1744 on: August 19, 2020, 11:16:56 pm »
My nest doorbell notified me at 3am one night that it had spotted a person at my front door. Near shat a brick when I loaded the video and it was a spider crawling across the camera.

Offline Son of Spion

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1745 on: August 19, 2020, 11:22:36 pm »
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/newsliverpool/dad-bitten-by-false-widow-spider-in-garden-ends-up-in-a-26e-with-horrific-wound/ar-BB17W7EH
I think the media have given the False Widow a worse reputation that it deserves.

We have over 650 species of spider in the UK and only around 12 are recorded as having bitten humans. The False Widow does have a venomous bite, but the venom is not very potent and a bite is normally no worse than a wasp sting. It's believed that any extreme side effects are more likely caused by secondary (bacterial) infection of the wound rather than the actual bite itself.

An interesting fact I just found whilst checking out my facts on this is that spider venom can be used in pain relief and their silk is being developed to make specialist clothing such as bullet-proof vests. So, good old Spidey.
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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1746 on: August 19, 2020, 11:23:45 pm »
“Spidey comes out from behind the sun visor”.

At this point the car should be going head on with a tree or off a bridge. And if you’re lucky enough to survive, burn the thing. Fuck that.
Not a spider fan then, eh.  :lmao
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Offline naYoRHa2b

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1747 on: August 19, 2020, 11:46:16 pm »
I hated spiders as a kid, I'd kill them if they came near me, well actually I'd get someone else to dispose of them as a I couldn't stand the fuckers. Anyhow, as I've got older I don't tend to mind them as much....I've had one in the kitchen for a few days now, I came down this morning and it had moved from the window area...nearly walked into the fucking thing as it was hanging halfway between the ceiling light and the floor. I didn't want anyone walking into it but I didn't want to handle it either. I decided to blow on it a few times and it shrank in to a ball, I thought fuck I've killed the little sod. Went the toilet for a piss and to dry my eyes and when I returned it was ambling back up the web towards the ceiling light :)

A weird sense of relief washed over me

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1748 on: August 20, 2020, 09:49:05 am »
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/newsliverpool/dad-bitten-by-false-widow-spider-in-garden-ends-up-in-a-26e-with-horrific-wound/ar-BB17W7EH
But thats an allergic reaction causing a cellulitis type infection. 

Not nice granted as I suffer with this condition myself if I get any insect stings or bites but its not because the spider is a killer like a black widow or huntsman.

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1749 on: August 20, 2020, 10:04:50 am »
But thats an allergic reaction causing a cellulitis type infection. 

Not nice granted as I suffer with this condition myself if I get any insect stings or bites but its not because the spider is a killer like a black widow or huntsman.

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A huntsman isn’t deadly either Debs. Unless it punches you looking at the size of it. Or gives you a heart attack. Not particularly venomous though, just terrifying. :D

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1750 on: August 20, 2020, 11:30:01 am »
A huntsman isn’t deadly either Debs. Unless it punches you looking at the size of it. Or gives you a heart attack. Not particularly venomous though, just terrifying. :D
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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1751 on: August 20, 2020, 11:49:15 am »
I think the media have given the False Widow a worse reputation that it deserves.

We have over 650 species of spider in the UK and only around 12 are recorded as having bitten humans. The False Widow does have a venomous bite, but the venom is not very potent and a bite is normally no worse than a wasp sting. It's believed that any extreme side effects are more likely caused by secondary (bacterial) infection of the wound rather than the actual bite itself.

An interesting fact I just found whilst checking out my facts on this is that spider venom can be used in pain relief and their silk is being developed to make specialist clothing such as bullet-proof vests. So, good old Spidey.

Their silk is also used to capture tiny droplets of chemical gasses at Porton Down, so they have their uses if you fancy setting off some deadly chemical or nerve agent and want to know how it is spreading
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Online rob1966

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1752 on: August 20, 2020, 11:57:10 am »
But thats an allergic reaction causing a cellulitis type infection. 

Not nice granted as I suffer with this condition myself if I get any insect stings or bites but its not because the spider is a killer like a black widow or huntsman.

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The red top rags had a phase a few years back of carrying these scare stories - its not the spider, its the dirty bastard not cleaning the wound who is at fault.
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Offline duvva 💅

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1753 on: August 20, 2020, 01:33:24 pm »
https://www.abc.net.au/btn/newsbreak/huntsman-spider-regrows-legs/12522206

Cool spider story from Oz about a lady saving a huntsman and helping it regrow 6 legs.

Travelled in Oz 20 years ago and had a couple of Huntsman run-ins. Although not deadly as mentioned on the other page they do look the part
"If you don't limit yourself with bad thoughts, you can fly" - Jurgen Klopp

Offline ToneLa

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1754 on: August 22, 2020, 08:14:02 am »
Why did I find that story really cute?  :D

Offline Son of Spion

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1755 on: August 22, 2020, 04:08:43 pm »
I hope everyone is gearing up for September. That's when they all start coming indoors...
The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long, and you've burned so very, very brightly, Jürgen.

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1756 on: August 24, 2020, 10:52:17 am »
I hope everyone is gearing up for September. That's when they all start coming indoors...
I'm ready for them


Offline liverbloke

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1757 on: August 26, 2020, 08:29:37 am »
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/IVaxlD2K93g" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/IVaxlD2K93g</a>

Quote from: Lee1-6Liv
Who would have thought liverblokes no draws idea would not be his worst idea of the weekend

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1758 on: August 26, 2020, 08:53:09 am »
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/IVaxlD2K93g" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/IVaxlD2K93g</a>



This should come with a warning. I just threw my phone at my face and cut my lip 😂
"If you don't limit yourself with bad thoughts, you can fly" - Jurgen Klopp

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1759 on: August 26, 2020, 02:33:11 pm »
“Do not intermingle with people who act like 'they know it all'. If you do, you will wind up as lost and lonely as they are.”
― Christine Szymanski