I think you're wrong. I think EU has shown that UK can stop and reverse this process at any time. EU cares far less about UK than UK thinks. There's just so much else going on inside EU and its members. Brexit is a drama, but it's a small problem compared with the rise of fascism, climate change or migrants dying in thousands. Incompetent and selfish politicians are not unique to UK.
You're vastly underestimating the amount of internal crap EU is willing to put up with from member states. This will make me sound like a brexiteer, but some member states are barely democratic, they have lots of corruption, they refuse to abide to EU decisions. Also, many of them are poor and are draining the EU economy. In comparision with countries like Romania, or candidate countries like Serbia, UK is a fantastic member.
Why does EU still put up with them? Because EU is a peace project, a cultural and political project based on the idea that collaboration is almost always better than isolation. For instance Serbia might be a pain as a EU member, but that would still be better than a new war. Similarly, UK is a pain but as a member it brings money, trade, military strength and a much better chance for peace in NI.
I agree with much of what you say, esp. the last paragraph.
If the UK showed a genuine willingness to rejoin I don't think the EU would prevent it. As battered and humiliated as the UK may end up, having us within the bloc would still be seen as preferable than not. Even if our prestige and glamour and standing has been [self] trashed, we would still share many political, cultural and social values and several millennia of shared history. And it would be seen as a validation of the EU project that a state which left acrimoniously, quickly returned, cap in hand, and asked to be let back in again, and that the Union was magnanimous. It would also be seen as a material blow to aggressive right wing secessionist movements.
And I wouldn't read too much into what understandably angry and frustrated individuals are saying today, or use that to pre-define the views of the EU in a few years time.
I guess there are two diametrically opposed points of view on this among the posters here, and generally among Remainers there does seem to be a degree of self-flagellation about all this. A kind of 'we'll be finished, and it's our own fault and serve us bloody well right' kind of rhetoric. I exhibit it myself, quite often. Arguing about it isn't going to help anyone, so I'm happy to respect the other viewpoint and concede it may be correct, whilst hoping and being fairly confident that it isn't.
But I would hope that other view would not colour or restrict the actions of remainers after any Brexit. That is when we would need to remain united and keep the pressure on. Not let the 'victorious' Leavers and bigots have things their own way.
If we give up then any chance of rejoining, even if it is small, will just get even smaller.
Anyway, it ain't done yet. While there's hope...
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