Author Topic: Alan Partridge - including Alpha Papa  (Read 554002 times)

Offline Fat Tony

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #120 on: February 4, 2006, 04:18:59 pm »
The flash backs in I'm Alan Partridge 1 are priceless.
"Do you want me to lapdance for you?"
"Like my Thong? It's vulcanised rubber, it won't corrode".

Love the one where he gets bored in the Travel Tavern.
He goes to the petrol station to buy 12 bottles of screenwash and sings Goldfinger on the way.
"Hello, Reception? I was bored and dismantled my Corby trouser press and was wondering it it'll show up on the bill."
"I'm looking for some speakers for my stereo, apropo achieving surround sound... Apropo, it means to in order to... Well you ought to have a basic grasp of latin, working in Currys!"

At the height of Partidge's fame me and me mates would always sing that on the way home from town, Partridge style, after we'd got sick of all the Liverpool songs.

"Pretty girl, beeeware his web of Sin, but don't go iiinnnnnn" ;D

Offline Izzy Bully*****

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #121 on: February 4, 2006, 04:55:29 pm »
"Life isn't everything"

"take a pinch of white man,rapp'm up"

songs are belters

Offline Fat Tony

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #122 on: February 4, 2006, 05:14:37 pm »
"Life isn't everything"

"take a pinch of white man,rapp'm up"

songs are belters

"...in black skinnnn...
add a dash of blue blood....
and something else in Geordieee
Curly Black and Kinkyyyy
Mixed with Yellow Chinkyyyy"

"Haha yer daft racist, can you still say that 'Chinky?"

"Well I suppose so aye, coz it's a race of people, and its a food"

;D

Offline crownpaints

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #123 on: February 4, 2006, 06:26:57 pm »
"Well I suppose so aye, coz it's a race of people, and its a food"

What?

I'm sorry, that was just a noise.
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Offline Fat Tony

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #124 on: February 4, 2006, 06:32:32 pm »
What?

I'm sorry, that was just a noise.

"All I got was Broken homes. And a Broken home is not an excuse for evil. Look at you, did you, I don't know go round drawing peep hole pantie's on the mens room walls?"

;D

Offline Buck Pete

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #125 on: February 4, 2006, 06:33:37 pm »

"Haha yer daft racist, can you still say that 'Chinky?"

"Well I suppose so aye, coz it's a race of people, and its a food"

;D
Can't remember Michael saying that but its funny as fuck all the same. ;D

Offline Fat Tony

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #126 on: February 5, 2006, 12:09:43 am »
It's time for Alan's fact of the day, Crab Sticks do not actually contain any Crab, and from 1992 manufacturers have been legally obliged to label them 'Crab Flavoured Sticks' Another one of those same time tomorrow....

Offline Izzy Bully*****

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #127 on: February 5, 2006, 10:17:32 am »
"the votes are closed, and clearly the rings and the flies have been roundly trounced by the quick feet of blouse wearing tycoon, michael flatley. Flatley my dear, I dont riverdance - Give a damn."

If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there’s a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife, who’s also your brother!!!

"I can read you like a book. And not a very good book. Certainly not ‘Bravo Two Zero’ by Andy McNabb. Which actually improves with every read." 
 
"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down!!!!"

I’m going nowhere, Lynn. Quite literally, I’m on the ring road. Third time round. I’ve just been into B&Q for a bag of tungsten-tipped screws. Never gonna use ‘em. Never gonna use ‘em.

Offline Thommo's Beak

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #128 on: February 5, 2006, 11:23:57 am »
I like the one when he's looking round the house and he looks at the toilet and says, "you can imagine Buck Rogers taking a space age dump in this."

And then takes one himself.  ;D
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Offline jiky

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #129 on: February 5, 2006, 11:56:33 am »
"Was  your father born in a wheelchair?"
im off to switzerland,baby. Wanna assist?

Offline Fat Tony

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #130 on: February 5, 2006, 12:19:53 pm »
I like the one when he's looking round the house and he looks at the toilet and says, "you can imagine Buck Rogers taking a space age dump in this."

And then takes one himself.  ;D

"One yank gone! I love this house!"

Offline Party Phil

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #131 on: February 5, 2006, 02:08:59 pm »
"I can read you like a book. And not a very good book. Certainly not ‘Bravo Two Zero’ by Andy McNabb. Which actually improves with every read." 

Bravo Six Zero in your case
Aye, by Randy McNob!
If you're lying, I'll chop your head off.

Offline Fat Tony

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #132 on: February 5, 2006, 02:42:41 pm »
It's that time again for Alan's fact of the day.... Most Cornflakes come from the USA...Another one of them, same time tomorrow.

Offline crownpaints

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #133 on: February 5, 2006, 03:05:19 pm »
http://www.myspace.com/stoptellingmewhattodo

You've never had a cup o'beans man? Aye you're in for a right treat!
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Offline Rob K

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #134 on: February 27, 2006, 10:06:19 pm »
On UKG2 now, repeated at 10:40 on channel 265(UKG2+1)


"Jurassic Park!"  :D
Give me all the bacon and eggs you have...

Offline Tuesday

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #135 on: March 5, 2006, 10:02:42 am »
Todd, seriously?

Get you on the old jeans rule again? Nazis! But with excellent facilities... as had the Nazis.
Sound as a pound!

Offline Fat Tony

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #136 on: March 5, 2006, 01:02:16 pm »
Series 2 finally gets an outing on UKGold this week, think its 11:45 on Tuesday. :wave

DAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!


Offline TheKid.

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #137 on: March 5, 2006, 01:04:41 pm »

DAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!



No, he's not heard me

Offline crownpaints

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #138 on: March 17, 2006, 03:21:51 pm »
I'm going to wear a t-shirt with Crowded House written on the front of it.

Yes, I will buy that copy of Punch magazine.
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Offline KJR71

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #139 on: March 17, 2006, 03:30:31 pm »
"STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!"

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #140 on: March 17, 2006, 03:50:33 pm »
Builder: "I'm from Manchester Alan."
Alan has a think... "Ah, cotton and guns"

"Come on Sonia, lets be appalling"

Offline dalehunter

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #141 on: March 17, 2006, 03:52:17 pm »
Come on Sonia....Let's be appaling
Justice for the 96

*     *     *     *     *
77  78   81   84   05

5 european cups, and 18 leagues!
    that's what we call history!!

Offline TheKid.

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #142 on: March 17, 2006, 04:02:37 pm »
Come on Sonia....Let's be appaling

I said telescopic dampners, i mean rigid stays

Offline smiggers

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #143 on: March 17, 2006, 04:05:44 pm »
Series 2 finally gets an outing on UKGold this week, think its 11:45 on Tuesday. :wave

DAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!



Been waiting ages to see that scene again and it still cracks me up

Offline crownpaints

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #144 on: March 17, 2006, 04:07:02 pm »
Fat arms, big beards. And that's just the men... women.
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Offline Fat Tony

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #145 on: March 17, 2006, 08:48:36 pm »
I'm going to wear a t-shirt with Crowded House written on the front of it.

Yes, I will buy that copy of Punch magazine.

But then...She committed a gross act upon his person, which was tantamount to vandalism. So bad that not only must they part company, but he must also sack her as receptionist of his company. You see that was part of the problem anyway, he had to sack her, just didn't have the balls to do it in person. But anyway, he thanks her for that stolen afternoon, but because it was stolen it's not your property, you've gotta give it back love. So just to confirm, her contract has been terminated;D




Offline hooded claw

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #146 on: March 17, 2006, 08:51:37 pm »
Who were Wings?

Offline Fat Tony

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #147 on: March 17, 2006, 08:53:49 pm »
Who were Wings?

They're only the band the Beatles could have been!

Offline Ashfordian

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #148 on: March 17, 2006, 08:57:48 pm »
What a program.

Very very funny.

Offline TheKid.

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #149 on: March 17, 2006, 09:00:57 pm »
But then...She committed a gross act upon his person, which was tantamount to vandalism. So bad that not only must they part company, but he must also sack her as receptionist of his company. You see that was part of the problem anyway, he had to sack her, just didn't have the balls to do it in person. But anyway, he thanks her for that stolen afternoon, but because it was stolen it's not your property, you've gotta give it back love. So just to confirm, her contract has been terminated;D





You dont remember me DO YOU!

Offline Big Tall Man

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #150 on: March 19, 2006, 06:07:30 am »
In the bond marathon one.... where alan says about Bond, 'somethings come up' and Michael adds ' Aye he's talkin aboot his cock'   Still makes me pish laughin that one!!  Top drawer show...
Rafa on THAT half time talk.  Language barriers aside, the greatest modesty and understatement in football history!!!

' We had been talking in the half time, we need to do something, we need to change things and maybe we score things would be different and we scored and it was different'

Offline crownpaints

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #151 on: March 19, 2006, 06:12:43 pm »
Lynn, I’m not driving a Mini-Metro.
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Offline Luckylee

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #152 on: March 19, 2006, 07:03:31 pm »
'They've re-badged it, you fool!'

Offline crownpaints

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #153 on: March 19, 2006, 07:23:59 pm »
There’s no point finishing the sentence, Lynn, because I AM NOT driving a Mini-Metro.
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Offline Party Phil

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #154 on: March 19, 2006, 11:46:09 pm »

grrrrrrrrrrrrr
If you're lying, I'll chop your head off.

Offline youtookmyname

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #155 on: March 19, 2006, 11:49:33 pm »


DAN!

Offline owensy76

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #156 on: March 20, 2006, 01:07:40 am »
when lynne makes her exit from dan's with her kitchen brochures "no thanks, i don't want to be part of your sex festival "
... priceless !!

Offline Dam

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #157 on: March 20, 2006, 10:46:18 pm »
Do you like owls? I know a cracking owl sanctuary

Offline El Phes

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #158 on: March 21, 2006, 10:19:38 am »
There’s no point finishing the sentence, Lynn, because I AM NOT driving a Mini-Metro.

Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Go on.



Alan: Sophie, did you get your chocolate orange?
Sophie: Yeah.
Alan: I got you a dark chocolate one because I know you don't like milk.
Sophie: I do like milk chocolate.
Alan: Oh, right, well I could exchange it. I could talk to my chocolate people.
Sophie: Oh, yes please.
Alan: Right. Er, have you tampered with the wrapping?
Sophie: No, but there is a bit of superficial damage to the box.
Alan: Don't bother about the damage. They're all damaged. Right, have you kept it below room temperature?
Sophie: I don't think so.
Alan: Ah, right. In that case? I'm afraid you've invalidated the warranty. Above room-temperature it all congeals into one big dark-chocolate cricket ball. So, I'm afraid your consumer rights no longer apply. I mean, you could try Watchdog, but I think they've got bigger fish to fry.


Later.....

Jill: Ahh. Thanks for the chocolate orange, Alan.
Alan: You're welcome. Did you notice anything about the box?
Jill: No.
Alan: Exactly. All the others had superficial damage. I paid for yours. All your segments were intact.



Alan: Actually, Sophie, there's an issue I've been meaning to raise for the last two weeks. You know those little soaps you leave in the bathroom? Well, they will withstand, at best, one aggressive body scrub. They start up the size of mini-Frisbees, and they end up like actual size paracetamol.



 


Offline crownpaints

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Re: I'm Alan Partridge
« Reply #159 on: March 21, 2006, 01:34:44 pm »
Love your pop music, Enya, and the other one... ripped up the Pope, bald chap?
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