Since everyone is miserable now I thought I'd cheer people up with some gallows humour (our bad luck dictates you gotta laugh if you don't wannt to cry! right?)
i used to write these joke 'match reports from the future' for a laugh, so here's one for you from appproximately
10 years from now..... (wooohwoooh cue Twilight Zone spooky music)
Liverpool 1 - 1 Derby County
Liverpool missed the chance to close the gap on Premier League leaders Derby County after an uninspiring finish at Anfield. After a decent first-half showing, Steven Gerrard's men led early in the second half through Trent Alexander-Arnold's strike, but some sloppy play let Derby back into the game and brought a deserved equaliser late on, preserving their lead at the summit and leaving Liverpool joint 3rd with Yeovil.
Gerrard has made no secret of his opinion of Derby; that few clubs can expect to compete with the financial backing they enjoy from owner Jeff Bezos. Indeed, going into this game, the Reds' manager was insistent that his team deserved credit for even clinging to the coattails of the East Midlands outfit, such is the evident disparity in spending power. Having been on a good run of late, then, and given Gerrard's arguably justifiable view, today can only be seen as a missed opportunity for his team, who failed to catch up with the club which has topped the table since August.
The Reds started brightly, running and passing the ball with intent in the opening 20 minutes, and despite failing to breach Derby's low-lying defence, went into the break encouraged. Their patience was rewarded on 52 minutes when captain Alexander-Arnold crashed home from just inside the box, after a typically bustling run from stalwart James Milner. Alexander-Arnold's finish at the Kop end was just reward for a player who has perhaps suffered at the hands of the press in recent times, following his no-show at the FA's lavish party to celebrate Harry Kane's acquittal at the European Court of Human Rights.
But if Liverpool were hoping that the skipper's effort would settle any nerves, they would soon be disappointed. From the restart, Derby ceded possession and retreated once more, leaving the Reds with the ball - an initiative that would become an onus. Liverpool grew short of ideas in attack, and as probe after probe floundered against the Derby defence, their players' composure was affected.
The growing frustration was compounded by a lack of discipline, with Leighton Clarkson picking up 4 yellow cards in as many minutes and having to spend 5 minutes in the VAR sin bin as a result.
It was during this period that Derby struck. The Reds' backline were slow to react to a hopeful punt forward, leaving space for Derby's star Korean forward Park Bus Park to capitalise and roll a neat finish past a bewildered Simon Mignolet. The game petered out thereafter, with the only incident of note a stifled claim for a penalty when Bobby Duncan appeared to be fouled - referee Colin Toole was unmoved.
The deeply furrowed brow of Gerrard at the final whistle seemed to reflect the general mood. ''Errrrm, I'm gutted, to be honest'' said the Reds' manager, ''totally fuckin eviscerated''.
Liverpool team: Mignolet, N Williams, Gomez, Kabak, Gauche, Clarkson, Milner, Alexander-Arnold, Bonce, Gabriel Jesus, Duncan
Ref: Colin Toole
