Topic: Spiders....

[CraigDS]

Do they know that they're not supposed to run around on your face and go inside your mouth at night time?

And lay their eggs in your ears.

[lauz]

I watched 25 secs of that video. It's wrong. urgh

[Red Beret]

 

[rob1966]

Fella in work is in Cambodia on holiday at the minute. I've seen a pic of him with this massive spider on his hand - its fucking deep friied and is sold as food

[Ziltoid]

Fella in work is in Cambodia on holiday at the minute. I've seen a pic of him with this massive spider on his hand - its fucking deep friied and is sold as food

Get em down your neck

[Andy @ Allerton!]

[Chakan]

New Spider discovered, swims, catches fish.

Now all they need to do if find a spider that flies.

https://www.gapyear.com/news/265273/new-breed-of-spider-can-swim-catch-fish

Arachnophobes look away now

Are you afraid of spiders? That’s understandable. They spin webs at exactly head height in narrow passages, run across our bedroom ceilings at night, and lay succulent eggs of terror in our nightmares. But at least you can always escape from spiders by diving into deep water, right?

Wrong.

Australian scientists have discovered a new spider that can swim and catch fish for its supper. It’s called Dolomedes briangreenei, and it’s absolutely terrifying.

The new species of spider is approximately the size of the palm of a hand (i.e. big), and it uses vibrations on the surface of water to find and grab prey beneath it. It dines on fish, frogs, tadpoles, and cane toads, and can swim across water using its middle legs as oars.

The spider was revealed at Brisbane’s inaugural World Science Festival, in front of the festival’s founder, Professor Brian Greene, after whom the spider is named.

There is some good news: the spider is Australian, where it’ll fit right in with the various horrific creatures that call the country home. Secondly, and most importantly, it’s not a threat to humans.

Just keep your mouth closed when you go swimming.

[zebenzui]

Do they know that they're not supposed to run around on your face and go inside your mouth at night time?

And lay their eggs in your ears.

You had to make it weird.

[Red Beret]

Oh dear! 

[Ziltoid]

Should have burnt the house down and then left the note next to the smouldering ashes

[rob1966]

New one from my brother

Sooooo ... arms full of washing for the line , doing a bloke thing of ''' I'm an octopus , I've got this ''' instead of dumping it on a chair or summit , couple of items onto the line , no issue , yeah , this is working , washing pile going down , getting easier , but then , a peg snaps ... it's in my hand in two halves , can't drop it cos I've got 3 mutts circling me waiting to pounce on a dropped item or nasty sharp peg ...can't reach my pocket , simple .. I'll pop it into my mouth for a minute ... that's when I discover there's a false widow spider living in said peg ... quick chomp on my lip ... now I'm on my knees gagging , kneeling in a poop that's not been picked up , one dog has shot off with the remainder of the peg , another can't believe her luck to get a T-shirt to play with and the third is laying on her back wagging her tail saying , it's nothing to do with me.

[Chakan]

RIP YNWA.

[Ziltoid]

I hope you torched your brother with a flame thrower.

[Red Beret]

That moment you don't notice the big fuck off spider on the wall next to you until AFTER you get off the toilet.  Might have soiled myself if I hadn't just been. 

[rob1966]

Australian lad on a bikers facebook group in on posted a picture of his bike with a massive spider sat on the screen on the fairing. He didn't know what species and didn't appear to bea arsed, but it looked like a huntsman.

[CraigDS]

Australian lad on a bikers facebook group in on posted a picture of his bike with a massive spider sat on the screen on the fairing. He didn't know what species and didn't appear to bea arsed, but it looked like a huntsman.

Time to put a rag in the petrol tank and set it on fire.

[rob1966]

Redback spider bites Australian man on penis

An Australian man has taken himself to hospital after a venomous redback spider bit him on the penis.
The tradesman was using a portable toilet on a Sydney building site on Wednesday morning when he was bitten.
A spokesperson for St George Hospital confirmed that a 21-year-old man was treated for a redback bite.
The redback spider, closely related to the black widow spider, is distinguished by a long red stripe on its abdomen.
The spider's bite causes severe pain, sweating and nausea.
The BBC spoke to the owners of the property who confirmed that the man had been bitten on the penis as described in media reports.
He was later discharged from hospital in a stable condition.
Although there are recorded cases of deaths from redback bites, none have occurred since the development of antivenom in 1956.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-36136635

[Ziltoid]

Redback spider bites Australian man on penis

An Australian man has taken himself to hospital after a venomous redback spider bit him on the penis.
The tradesman was using a portable toilet on a Sydney building site on Wednesday morning when he was bitten.
A spokesperson for St George Hospital confirmed that a 21-year-old man was treated for a redback bite.
The redback spider, closely related to the black widow spider, is distinguished by a long red stripe on its abdomen.
The spider's bite causes severe pain, sweating and nausea.
The BBC spoke to the owners of the property who confirmed that the man had been bitten on the penis as described in media reports.
He was later discharged from hospital in a stable condition.
Although there are recorded cases of deaths from redback bites, none have occurred since the development of antivenom in 1956.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-36136635

Is this a case of take the pain away but leave the swelling?

[rob1966]

Peacock spider

[So… Howard Philips]

Whatever happened to the Spider Baby in Father Ted?

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Whatever happened to the Spider Baby in Father Ted?

It was a spider in a pram.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

[GalaSupporter]

One of my spiders molted today, here is a photo next to my *hand:


_{*I do not have tiny Donald Trump hands...}

[Crosby Nick]

You horrible bastard.

[thekitkatshuffler]

Are you going to make it into a glove?

[kennedy81]

Fella in work is in Cambodia on holiday at the minute. I've seen a pic of him with this massive spider on his hand - its fucking deep friied and is sold as food

That's a bit extreme. I like the Cambodians style though, it sends a message.

[AB LFC]

One of my spiders molted today, here is a photo next to my *hand:

Hope you're making that big bastard pay rent.

[El Lobo]

Hope you're making that big bastard pay rent.

I hope he's burnt the house down and is now paying rent somewhere temporary

[red mongoose]

Andy, for fuck's sake, that's horrible   

[Chakan]

That's a bit extreme. I like the Cambodians style though, it sends a message.

Clear message "Tell your friends!"

[Ziltoid]

One of my spiders molted today, here is a photo next to my *hand:


_{*I do not have tiny Donald Drumpf hands...}

Deary me!

[GalaSupporter]

Hope you're making that big bastard pay rent.

Keep in mind spiders molt to be able to grow so she is even larger than that molt now. Not paying a cent for bed and breakfast either but I will sell her babies for cash so we will get even at some point.

[GalaSupporter]

Just another day at my place...



This massive scorpion got killed during a breeding attempt, it is good to have giant spiders around to use as garbage disposal...

[Crosby Nick]

Is he snacking on a scorpion?

I'm sure you're living a Truman Show style existence but stuck in a horror movie!

[CraigDS]

No no no, just no.

[AB LFC]

Imagine waking up after a great sleep and seeing that monster on your pillow or on your night table.

[Crosby Nick]

Imagine waking up after a great sleep and seeing that monster on your pillow or on your night table.

And his spider's just as bad.

[Red Beret]

Last camping site I went to in the US with my mate turned out to be littered with literally hundreds of ant hills.  I was rather glum at the prospect of staying - because I hate anything that creeps, crawls, buzzes, flutters or scuttles - but my mate, being a seasoned camper, was fine with it.

So she nips off to the campsite bogs and I'm figuring out the place where the least number of anthills are so I can pitch my tent, for all the good that will do me.  I then break out the tablecloth and have just finished laying the picnic table when I hear my mate shout "Stop for a minute!"

I turn around and see my mate walking towards me waving, then she puts her hands together apologetically, "How would you feel about spending $67 on a hotel tonight?"

"Why?" I ask.

She replies, "Because there was a humungus funnel spider in one of the toilet doorways and if I have to get up in the night to pee I don't want to stumble into it in the dark.  They're aggressive."

I don't even know what a fucking funnel spider is - I didn't go to check and you don't have to share any images with me at all - but my head was bobbing in a "oh fuck yes" manner before she'd even finished speaking. 

Turns out she'd spent 10 minutes on the bog on her phone looking up hotels, she was that freaked out. 

[GalaSupporter]

Last camping site I went to in the US with my mate turned out to be littered with literally hundreds of ant hills.  I was rather glum at the prospect of staying - because I hate anything that creeps, crawls, buzzes, flutters or scuttles - but my mate, being a seasoned camper, was fine with it.

So she nips off to the campsite bogs and I'm figuring out the place where the least number of anthills are so I can pitch my tent, for all the good that will do me.  I then break out the tablecloth and have just finished laying the picnic table when I hear my mate shout "Stop for a minute!"

I turn around and see my mate walking towards me waving, then she puts her hands together apologetically, "How would you feel about spending $67 on a hotel tonight?"

"Why?" I ask.

She replies, "Because there was a humungus funnel spider in one of the toilet doorways and if I have to get up in the night to pee I don't want to stumble into it in the dark.  They're aggressive."

I don't even know what a fucking funnel spider is - I didn't go to check and you don't have to share any images with me at all - but my head was bobbing in a "oh fuck yes" manner before she'd even finished speaking. 

Turns out she'd spent 10 minutes on the bog on her phone looking up hotels, she was that freaked out. 

Funnel spiders in US: Pathetic looser Arsene Wenger of a spider, completely harmless
Funnel spiders in Australia: The reason why arachnophobia is a thing

I would be more worried of ants in your case...

[capt k]

Funnel spiders in US: Pathetic looser Arsene Wenger of a spider, completely harmless
Funnel spiders in Australia: The reason why arachnophobia is a thing

I would be more worried of ants in your case...

yep, getting bit by a funnel web spider is no joke

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/halloween-horror-for-nsw-mum-after-funnel-web-bite-20151119-gl3ggc.html