Author Topic: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson  (Read 105290 times)

Offline ripsaw19

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #400 on: December 14, 2017, 12:24:16 am »
Never seen this thread before but I'm crying with laughter here! Much needed after tonight's drab performance, this thread is pure gold!
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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #401 on: December 14, 2017, 09:00:22 am »
Here goes then; (To the tune of 'Stop The Cavalry!'

Oh Mr Hodgson You signed Poulsen
Then you went and signed Paul Konchesky
Please don't get me wrong They've done nothin wrong
But they're not good enough for LFC
You might've beaten Blackburn You might've beaten Bolton
But can you stop the Che- el- sea?

(Boot it up to Torres Boot it up to him Boot it up now Boot it up Boot it up to him! Boot it up to Torres Boot it up to him Boot it up now Boot it up Boot it up to him!)

Wish we could be 4th (At least!) this Christmas!


 :P

Royston the red faced manager
Had a very itchy chin
And if you ever saw him
You would never see him win

All of the other managers
Used to like him and be his friend
But they never let poor Royston
Win against them in the end

Then one balmy summers day
Purslow came to say:
Royston with your face to rub
Will you come and wreck our club?

Now all the managers love him
As they shouted out with glee
Roy you will take Liverpool down
You'll go down in history


Offline AshLFC

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #402 on: December 14, 2017, 09:28:06 am »
Away We're In Danger
We got ten at the back
And the way that we're playing
Will get Roy the sack

With Nando on his own
And no midfield nearby
He is waiting all lonely
For the ball in the sky

At home we're no better
Our style is the same
If we stay at the bottom
They will chant Rafas name

The crowd are all brassed off
They all want Roy sacked
If we dont climb the table
He will never be backed

So a plea to John Henry
You know why we're shit
Have a word with Roy Hodgson
And get him to quit

If he wont go without pushing
Then you'll have to get tough
And tell him quite firmly
That enough is enough

Then go see King Kenny
Ask him to stand in
Till the end of season
And then we'll start to win

When the season is over
And we're back near the top
You can bring back our Rafa
And please all the Kop

Sorry Ill get me coat  :wave

Absolutely fuckin brilliant this. Quality  ;D

Offline cowtownred

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #403 on: December 14, 2017, 09:36:32 am »
To the tune of 'God rest ye merry gentlemen'


God help us rawkite mental men,
And grimace with dismay,
Remember Roy our manager,
Is still in charge today,
He's saved us all from Rafa's power,
But down we'll go next May,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's friends with Alex Ferguson,
He's friends with Allardice,
He's friends with all the newspapers,
Who think he's 'Very nice'
He speaks in many languages,
He's managed Inter twice,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

Roy hoped he'd manage England if
Capello went away,
It didn't quite work out like that,
He's here with us today.
He thought it would be easy,
Stay 12 months and then away
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's very easy spreading blame,
When things don't go his way,
It's always someone else's fault,
He rarely wins away,
He's masterful at shifting blame,
And expert at high pay,
But he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
But he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's got a simple plan that works
He's confident, assured.
It's worked for 35 years now,
Will probably once more,
Have 10 play back and one in front
Then punt it up and score,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

But cheer up rawkite mental men,
He'll not be here too long,
He's never stuck a job so far,
His technique's never wrong,
A paragon, a master,
He'll end up with a gong,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA.


Still my favourite!  Genius, probably the best ever RAWK thread.

Offline Shanklygates

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #404 on: December 20, 2017, 11:15:06 am »
 ;D

And still relevant all these years later!!
We are a team of one half.

Offline Andy Hunter

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #405 on: March 31, 2018, 02:53:30 pm »
:D
Did Shevchenko score his rebound?
Why was there an ambulance behind the goal for Tommason's Penalty?
HOW DID GUDJOHNSEN MISS??

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #406 on: March 31, 2018, 04:29:16 pm »
We three kings of Anfield are
Stop Bobby and Mané, we’ve still got Salah

Offline number 168

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #407 on: March 31, 2018, 06:05:22 pm »
We three kings of Anfield are
Stop Bobby and Mané, we’ve still got Salah

I think you are missing the point there mate.

Offline paulrazor

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #408 on: December 3, 2018, 03:58:33 pm »
 :wave ;D
yer ma should have called you Paolo Zico Gerry Socrates HELLRAZOR

Offline -HH-

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #409 on: December 20, 2018, 11:02:51 pm »
:wave ;D

Bit early there Dave. Let's try now:

DECK THE HODGE AND PUNCH KONCHESKY, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA
THIS IS WORSE THAN WATCHING HESKEY, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA
Balotelli, Falcao, Cavani...

I'll be shocked if it's anyone other Etoo. Etoo or no-one. Simples.

In fact, I'll do you all a favor and ban myself from the January transfer window forum if we get anyone other than Etoo.

Offline cowtownred

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #410 on: December 20, 2018, 11:21:06 pm »
To the tune of 'God rest ye merry gentlemen'


God help us rawkite mental men,
And grimace with dismay,
Remember Roy our manager,
Is still in charge today,
He's saved us all from Rafa's power,
But down we'll go next May,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's friends with Alex Ferguson,
He's friends with Allardice,
He's friends with all the newspapers,
Who think he's 'Very nice'
He speaks in many languages,
He's managed Inter twice,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

Roy hoped he'd manage England if
Capello went away,
It didn't quite work out like that,
He's here with us today.
He thought it would be easy,
Stay 12 months and then away
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's very easy spreading blame,
When things don't go his way,
It's always someone else's fault,
He rarely wins away,
He's masterful at shifting blame,
And expert at high pay,
But he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
But he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's got a simple plan that works
He's confident, assured.
It's worked for 35 years now,
Will probably once more,
Have 10 play back and one in front
Then punt it up and score,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

But cheer up rawkite mental men,
He'll not be here too long,
He's never stuck a job so far,
His technique's never wrong,
A paragon, a master,
He'll end up with a gong,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA.


It's that time of year again.

Offline paulrazor

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #411 on: December 21, 2018, 09:15:39 am »
Bit early there Dave. Let's try now:

DECK THE HODGE AND PUNCH KONCHESKY, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA
THIS IS WORSE THAN WATCHING HESKEY, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA
hahaha ah come on it was December
yer ma should have called you Paolo Zico Gerry Socrates HELLRAZOR

Offline ChaChaMooMoo

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #412 on: December 21, 2018, 09:52:31 am »
To the tune of Jingle bells..

Jingle bells, Hodgson smells
Top ten blew away,
Oh what fun it was to read
RAWK after a boring matchday.

Hey!
Jingle bells, Hodgson smells
Top ten blew away,
Oh what fun it was to read
RAWK after a boring matchday.

Rubbing his old owl face
proud of his olden days,
Ferguson said Torres dives
And Roy just looked away.
Poulsen came and played
Konchesky came and stayed,
The playing was like shit
because the gaffer was a massive git.

Jingle bells, Hodgson smells
Top four blew away,
Oh what fun it is to read
RAWK after a boring matchday.

Hey!
Jingle bells, Hodgson smells
Top four blew away,
Oh what fun it is to read
RAWK after a boring matchday.

The table never lied
all enthusiasm died,
Isolating Johnson and Agger
when we closer to danger.
Unbelievably Overstaffed
Protesting doesnt help,
Formidable Northampton
Oh please feck off Roy Hodgson.

Jingle bells, Hodgson smells
Top four blew away,
Oh what fun it is to read
RAWK after a boring matchday.

Hey!
Jingle bells, Hodgson smells
Top four blew away,
Oh what fun it is to read
RAWK after a boring matchday.

Offline Redsnappa

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #413 on: December 21, 2018, 11:25:38 am »
How the hell is the Owl still working
Tra la la la la, lalalala.
Watch your back Mark Hughes is lurking
Tra la la la la, lalalala.

Useless tactics from the Stone Age
LMA backed and pundit proof.
Really not arsed if they go down
Another mug will give the fraud some work.

Repeat ad nauseam ...


Offline No666

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #414 on: December 21, 2018, 11:35:58 am »
Macca was brilliant. Anyone know how he's doing?

Offline Charlie Adams fried egg

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #415 on: December 21, 2018, 11:59:16 am »
Gulley's is absolutely brilliant.

Offline The Gulleysucker

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #416 on: December 21, 2018, 10:19:56 pm »
Macca was brilliant. Anyone know how he's doing?

I found him and posted it up here back in September, however it appears his twitter account is now suspended.

I can't for the life of me wonder why..... ;D

Macca, if you're reading this, come back on here.

Gulley's is absolutely brilliant.

Thank you, they were truly dark times, and I guess a period that everyone now would like to forget ever happened.

But the thread was made great by all the contributions, all of which were really funny and provided a welcome bit of relief and an outlet for how so many of us felt back then.
I don't do polite so fuck yoursalf with your stupid accusations...

Right you fuckwit I will show you why you are talking out of your fat arse...

Mutton Geoff (Obviously a real nice guy)

Offline Red Beret

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #417 on: December 21, 2018, 10:27:45 pm »
Here's my offering:

Do something useful for once, tomorrow
You incompetent old bastard
Jingle Bells.
I don't always visit Lobster Pot.  But when I do. I sit.

Popcorn's Art

Offline disgraced cake

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #418 on: December 21, 2018, 10:30:58 pm »
Here's my offering:

Do something useful for once, tomorrow
You incompetent old bastard
Jingle Bells.

 :lmao :lmao :lmao

Seriously though Roy, result tomorrow and you're forgiven for playing your part in the worst 6 months of my life.
Proud follower of the city's junior, and far more successful footballing side

Rome 1977
London 1978
Paris 1981
Rome 1984
Istanbul 2005
Madrid 2019

19 League Titles, 6 European Cups, 3 UEFA Cups, 8 FA Cups, 10 League Cups, 4 European Super Cups, World Champions 2019. We live the dream.

Offline Hymer Red

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #419 on: December 21, 2018, 10:46:40 pm »
Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
The Owl has gone away
Oh what fun it is to be
Top with Klopp on Christmas Day

Oh Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
Maureens got the sack
Now Its Ole Solskaer
They must be smoking crack

Oh Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
They need to go for Roy
What a perfect fit he'd be
and we'd be full of joy
« Last Edit: December 22, 2018, 01:37:24 am by Hymer Red »
This Klopp fella, hes not bad is he?

Offline Mighty_Red

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #420 on: December 22, 2018, 05:00:20 pm »
In honour of Roy, I think we all have to go out Carol singing this weekend  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Some clubs were always destined for greatness...

Offline No666

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #421 on: December 22, 2018, 05:15:07 pm »
I found him and posted it up here back in September, however it appears his twitter account is now suspended.

I can't for the life of me wonder why..... ;D

Macca, if you're reading this, come back on here.

Thank you, they were truly dark times, and I guess a period that everyone now would like to forget ever happened.

But the thread was made great by all the contributions, all of which were really funny and provided a welcome bit of relief and an outlet for how so many of us felt back then.


Thanks, mate.
Good luck, Macca mate, if you happen to read this.

Offline skerriesred

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #422 on: December 22, 2018, 05:33:09 pm »
Well done Roy.
Thanks and Merry Christmas
" Never make a decision until you have to, because often they are made for you"
Bill Shankly

Offline Shanklygates

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #423 on: December 22, 2018, 05:39:41 pm »
Tonight will be the first time I toast Hodgson I think :)
We are a team of one half.

Offline FlashingBlade

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #424 on: December 22, 2018, 05:43:29 pm »
Shame on you all for mocking this fine man.

Offline Red Beret

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #425 on: December 22, 2018, 05:48:21 pm »
Here's my offering:

Do something useful for once, tomorrow
You incompetent old bastard
Jingle Bells.

Thank you Roy
You gave us Joy
Now I'm off to have a shower
(And scrub myself
Till I bleed)

Ho ho ho.
I don't always visit Lobster Pot.  But when I do. I sit.

Popcorn's Art

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #426 on: December 22, 2018, 05:56:35 pm »
MAM!!! OUR BARRYS WEARING ME UNDIES AGAIN!! TELL HIM WILL YE!!

https://thedeadradiobroadcast.bandcamp.com/releases
https://murderouskaburdacus.bandcamp.com

Offline Prof

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #427 on: December 22, 2018, 06:06:00 pm »
:lmao :lmao :lmao

Seriously though Roy, result tomorrow and you're forgiven for playing your part in the worst 6 months of my life.
Just for today only, I'm in

Who'd have thunk it?

Offline Shankly998

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #428 on: December 22, 2018, 06:19:11 pm »
Should owl acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
Should owl acquaintance be forgot Crystal Palace came from behind
For owl lang syne my dear for owl lang syne we’ll take the cup of champions yet
For owl lang syne
 




Offline Red Beret

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #429 on: December 22, 2018, 06:50:40 pm »
Never seen this thread before but I'm crying with laughter here! Much needed after tonight's drab performance, this thread is pure gold!

What a difference a year makes!
I don't always visit Lobster Pot.  But when I do. I sit.

Popcorn's Art

Offline kennedy81

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #430 on: December 22, 2018, 06:55:17 pm »


 ;D ;D

Offline Greyfox

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #431 on: December 22, 2018, 07:39:05 pm »
You'd better not pout...
You'd better not cry...…

You'd better not shout, I'm telling you why...

LIV-ER-POOL ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE!!!

Offline Anthony

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #432 on: December 23, 2018, 02:04:19 pm »


 ;D ;D

Seen a lot of great revisionism of the great Roy in the last 24 hours but that is genius!!! :lmao :wellin
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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #433 on: December 23, 2018, 02:38:21 pm »
Once in Peps Royal City
Stood a lonely Roy Hodgson
Where he fluked a palace victory
With his wibbly wobbly head
Roy pissed his kecks with such pride
Soft c*nt has a shit fucking side

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Offline Keita Success

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #434 on: December 23, 2018, 11:50:56 pm »
He's come out and said the result means nothing and Liverpool will slip up too. Operation HodgePodge is a belled recommence.

Offline redgriffin73

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #435 on: December 24, 2018, 11:49:38 am »
He's come out and said the result means nothing and Liverpool will slip up too. Operation HodgePodge is a belled recommence.
Weirdly I kind of read that to the tune of Once in Royal David's City. Almost fits too.
Rafa Benitez: "I'll always keep in my heart the good times I've had here, the strong and loyal support of the fans in the tough times and the love from Liverpool. I have no words to thank you enough for all these years and I am very proud to say that I was your manager. Thank you so much once more and always remember: You'll never walk alone."

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #436 on: December 24, 2018, 11:56:35 am »
He's come out and said the result means nothing and Liverpool will slip up too. Operation HodgePodge is a belled recommence.

I read that before. He was pretty much apologising to Pep at full time

He only managed Liverpool as an interim boss until the club could get itself sorted, and what a great job he did  ::)

Offline swoopy

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #437 on: December 24, 2018, 12:13:35 pm »
He's come out and said the result means nothing and Liverpool will slip up too. Operation HodgePodge is a belled recommence.

Doesn't really rhyme that

Offline cdav

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #438 on: December 18, 2019, 10:48:34 am »
David Squires reminded me of this yesterday, still laugh thinking about the below one!

Deck The Hodge


Deck the Hodge and slap Konchesky
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
This is worse than watching Heskey
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fuck Insua and Alberto
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
There's these two lads who I do know
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

They're both old and utter dogshit
Fa la la la la, la la la la,
But my knob they'll surely nosh it
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Poulsen looks just like a lezbo
Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
Must have bought him from the Netto
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Play Meireles as a winger
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Then rub your face and smell your fingers
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Wish you'd fuck off back to Fulham
Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
'fore my heart slips out my rectum
Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaaaaaa!!

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Re: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson
« Reply #439 on: December 4, 2020, 09:10:36 pm »
In these dark times, it’s the season to bump this most Scouse of Christmas threads.
To remind us of the the bleak midwinter when Konchesky played, and rejoice in the coming of our saviour.
"I want to build a team that's invincible, so that they have to send a team from bloody Mars to beat us."