Michael: So, are we having the full English breakfast?
Alan Partridge: Yes, please. Can I have my sausages burnt to a crisp, please? So that they can only be identified by reference to their dental records.
Michael: OK. Either that or their fingerprints, eh?
Alan Partridge: Can you fingerprint a sausage?
Michael: Yeah, well, I suppose technically y'could, aye.
Alan Partridge: I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. Probably survive a couple of break-ins before they started to fall apart.
Michael: Aye. Maybes, maybes just have, like, a beefburger for your palm, y'know?
Alan Partridge: No, that's a bit too far-fetched. I do enjoy these chats in the morning.