I just had a brain wave after reading the Swedish SoS branch..... why not ask big Sami? (yes, i know hes not Swedish!)
He has an impecible record as a player, loves the club, and since hes living and playing abroad doesnt rely on the club for anything other then a couple of spares for some mates probably. Also, since he doesnt do any media work in the UK, he cant get stuck in the Phil Thompson situation of having Sly sports stopping him from getting involved.
A long shot I know, but to me has all of the qualities of our most favoured choices but a lot less of the problems and obsticles.