Topic: Golf - how bad are you?

[nidgemo]

I used to play years ago, haven't owned a set of clubs for a long time now though.

I was appallingly bad, but I did get one solitary birdie on a course in Hereford, chipped in from off the green on a par 3.

I once lost 13 balls in a single round on a 9 hole golf course, my score for 18 holes never went below 115 and I once took 79 shots to get round the 9 hole course at Aintree Racecourse.

I was brilliant at the driving range, 300 yard drives etc, but on a course I was a danger to myself and everyone around me.

Still not as bad as my brother in law though, he had a slice so bad he actually hit the ball backwards.

Yayyyy! DBD's worse than me

[Gareth Keenan]

I'll have to try it, not keen on parkland generally (though I'm a member of a parkland course, Chester) but always keen to play a new course.

We're playing Pennard, Machynys and Tenby. What was Machynys like? Bit nervous about that 'cos it was a bit of a wildcard, I considered Ashburnham but thought it would be a good but standard links whereas Machynys looks like it will be very good in a few years.

P&K is on my list but the cost of doing that along with Porthcawl and Southerndown was too much for some of the lads. I'll definitely get down to play it though.

As it is we got the three courses for a total of £80, staggering value.

£80 for them 3 is unbelievable. If I go back I am definitely going for Tenby & Pennard. I believe off locals last year that Portcawl is more illustrious but not much different from P&K and they are right next to each other.

Like you I am not too keen on parkland courses but my mates are all members at Blundells and it is tough, so I joined there and play quite a bit as it's local.

Machynys is really really good, I think you will be surprised. The courses is tremendous and is already a top class, really good greens, great condition and brilliant lay out. It's hard to believe it so new, the facilities are also really good. You will not be disappointed I can assure you.

I played the 1st week in August last year when everyone was flooded yet the course was fantastic then. Keep away from Ashburton, it had the potential to be very nice but was in poor condition and I don't think it was just a one off, it looked to me like it would always be like that.

[nidgemo]

20 handicapper and I'm a lawyer so work out how bad I am.

My lads of 16 and 14 are 3 and 9 handicappers respectively and won't have a round with me anymore - although I am allowed to pay their club fees.

Your 16 year old sounds good.

Get him to turn pro and pay you back

The number of shots you are 'given'. So if you're playing a 72 par course with a handicap of 18 you should go round in 90. Anything under and you're playing better than your handicap. The lower the handicap the better the player, as you don't need to be 'given' as many shots.

So lets say I'm playing an average of 90 on a par 3 by the time the summer is over - sate to say my handicap would be 36?

How do you go about getting a handicap worked out? (this illustrates how amateur I am )

[nidgemo]

When my driver is doing the business - my irons are not. Vice versa

My putting is pretty decent though

I'm finding that already - every day, SOMETHING isn't working - some days I'll drive and chip well (for me) and putt like shit. Next time, I'll drive like shit and my chipping and putting will be OK. Another day my driving and putting will be OK, but my chipping will be shit.

I've never had a day yet where I've finished up and not went "my driving / chipping / putting was shit today"

[nidgemo]

Ultimately, it's not about balls and clubs but sea views, good friends and most of all...getting leathered with your mates afterwards.

Exactly - as I said at the start - nothing like just playing fr fun, having a few hours in a beautiful sceinic setting, few mates, gentle walk, few laughs, some mild competition, sunshine and a few beers after.

I finish at two on a friday and have managed to get out every week for the last 5, and am off again tomorrow!

[Jason McG]

Friday afternoon golf, can't beat it.

That's good to hear Gareth, sounds like I made the right choice. P&K was definitely higher on my list than Porthcawl. I've got very high hopes for Pennard, very rustic and old fashioned, cattle on the course etc.

I'm sure Tenby will be great too, I'll try and remember to PM you when I get back, let you know what they're like.

[Ryza]

I'm so bad that I've never got a birdie. I think I've made par once or twice.

[wacko]

I played golf once, in a tournament. We came last. But everyone else can fuck off, because no other fucker from 4th to 19th got a prize, booby or not. 

[Jason McG]

I'm finding that already - every day, SOMETHING isn't working - some days I'll drive and chip well (for me) and putt like shit. Next time, I'll drive like shit and my chipping and putting will be OK. Another day my driving and putting will be OK, but my chipping will be shit.

I've never had a day yet where I've finished up and not went "my driving / chipping / putting was shit today"

You'll have a day like that if you keep going but it's all relative, doesn't matter how good you get, there'll always be an element of your game that's not working. Take Woods, he very rarely does everything well, on the whole his drivings pretty shit (I said it's relative!) but his clutch putting and recovery is brilliant.

A mate at work shot a net 65 yesterday, his best round in about 30 years, he said he did everything well but that's once in 30 years he's been completely happy with a round (though he lipped out twice). You've just got to enjoy the good shots and be patient, that's my advice for enjoyable golf.

[Gareth Keenan]

Friday afternoon golf, can't beat it.

That's good to hear Gareth, sounds like I made the right choice. P&K was definitely higher on my list than Porthcawl. I've got very high hopes for Pennard, very rustic and old fashioned, cattle on the course etc.

I'm sure Tenby will be great too, I'll try and remember to PM you when I get back, let you know what they're like.

Do that please Jay if you could as I want to play Pennard & Tenby so it would be nice to see what you think before I go back..

[Oingy Boingy]

like you nidgemo i only play in the summer when the weathers decent..(cant understand why people walk round by themselves in the rain)  anyway i only play about 15 times a summer and dont seem to be getting any better than i was after my first year(14 hdcp) ..which i think is a mixture of changing my clubs stance swing etc searching for that extra bit of distance and straightness of the tee...also listening to other peoples advice and having lessons with a pro just filled my head full of shite and took away the fun and enjoyment..also cost a fortune 

im gonna go back now to not thinking to much into it and just playing round for the laugh with my mates and a few cold tinnies

[Rizla]

Absolutely fucking shite 

Not a bad putter, can chip ok, play bunker shots ok, hit irons over 7 ok

Driving of the tee with wood or driver, or hitting long irons...wank. be lucky to hit 3 fairways in a 18 hole round, sometimes I will end up hitting the ball at a right angle or about 10 yards along the gound...or 5 yards followed by about 6 inches of turf

Tried practicing but this sport just does my head in, given up really because I just want to bury the end of a golf club in the nearest tree every time I play a shit shot...or lose a golf ball. Fact is, I just know that no matter how much I practice, I know I will never be any good, the correct grip for the club doesnt really feel right for me to be honest 

[b_joseph]

I got to 7 when I was 15 years old and stayed there until the present day ( 22 years old ) because I only play about twice a week. If that.

In my first year of playing though, I thought I was good but looking back. It was very clear that I was a hacker.
But it was fun and that is all that matters.

[R.A.La]

I had my swing video analysed...the pro told me it was like a Japanese Seal clubber

[MattLFC08]

I usually go round in about 100... I have had 3 birdies in my whole life after about 30 rounds of golf. Havent played for about 2 years.

[Col]

Scores, Col, scores!

Don't think I've gone round the local 9 hole in less than 60. It's a par 35.

I'm extremely competetive, and extremely rubbish at the same time, which doesn't bode well as a combination - I'm normally so pissed off by the end of a round of golf in best kept out of the public environment for a while!

[AdamR]

Playing the Forest of Arden next Saturday


EXCELLENT

[CHOPPER]

I  am poo and like to use the putter from 50yds out as there are no probs with being in the air and all that , i know it's not golf but am shit with the air thing
and when I tee off I aim for the fairway and it goes in the cunting trees
yet when I aim for the trees it goes straight in like a fucking exorcet 

[nidgemo]

Don't think I've gone round the local 9 hole in less than 60. It's a par 35.

You're worse than me too then

I  am poo and like to use the putter from 50yds out as there are no probs with being in the air and all that , i know it's not golf but am shit with the air thing
and when I tee off I aim for the fairway and it goes in the cunting trees
yet when I aim for the trees it goes straight in like a fucking exorcet 

And you

Still. As long as we enjoy it (which Col doesn;t!)

[Art Vandelay]

I play about once a year and usually go round 18 in 90-110....though there are a couple of 550 yard+ par 5s.

What annoys me most is amongst the shite in the round I usually hit five or six shots of stunning accuracy and distance that frankly a pro would be fairly proud of.  Unfortunately these shots are usually followed by me hitting the ball three yards.

[tonypaj]

8 hcp, played about 35 years, took it up more seriously when I had to quit football after two knee surgeries... These days I'm more of a fairweather type, no more playing in rain and snow and stuff. 8 hcp is pretty easy to keep, practice once or twice a week (chips, putts, short irons and drivers), play 5-10 tournaments per year (local stuff), and every now and then just for fun with friends.

[Hoppy]

Playing the Forest of Arden next Saturday


EXCELLENT

Don't get too excited mate.......it's not that great i'm afraid (played it several times).

I'm off 19 myself & i'm playing quite well at the moment (having watched my handicap rise rapidly over the last 3 years).  Won last months medal & am progressing nicely in the summer comps so really enjoying my golf at the moment!

Golf for me is about getting together with the lads & having some great banter......a proper pisstake!!

There's 12 of us going to South Wales next weekend as well.  We're playing Pennard, Machynys & Pyle & Kenfig.......i'm even more excited now having read the reviews above!!!!  We've paid £200 each which includes 2 nights at a 4* hotel in sunny Swansea!

[sheff-jim]

I played quite a bit when I was younger but never managed to break 100 on a proper 18 hole course. So in reality I was shite.

I did manage 41 on the local 9 hole municipal when I was about 14.

I am boss at crazy golf though, at least I beat my duaghter every year on holiday. 

[AdamR]

Don't get too excited mate.......it's not that great i'm afraid (played it several times).

I'm off 19 myself & i'm playing quite well at the moment (having watched my handicap rise rapidly over the last 3 years).  Won last months medal & am progressing nicely in the summer comps so really enjoying my golf at the moment!

Golf for me is about getting together with the lads & having some great banter......a proper pisstake!!

There's 12 of us going to South Wales next weekend as well.  We're playing Pennard, Machynys & Pyle & Kenfig.......i'm even more excited now having read the reviews above!!!!  We've paid £200 each which includes 2 nights at a 4* hotel in sunny Swansea!

Its a nice course and better than what i have played recently!  Plus its free

Penina is one of the best i have played in portugal.  Fantastic

[Hoppy]

Its a nice course and better than what i have played recently!  Plus its free

Yep, luckily i've never had to pay either (mate has a corporate membership there).  I'd never pay the £100+ green fee, but when it's gratis you can't complain (and there are some memorable holes to be fair) and it's always in great nick!!

[CHOPPER]

And you

Still. As long as we enjoy it (which Col doesn;t!)

I really enjoy it except for the paying for the meals bit at the end  as I usually lose 

on the plus though i am better than one of me mates who is truely shite 

[conman]

getting stoned and playing at the same time i realised on a work day out aint so good.
kinda lose the plot a bit

[Col]

You're worse than me too then

And you

Still. As long as we enjoy it (which Col doesn;t!)

I do, until I lose my concentration and it starts to go tits up. Then, I despise the game with a passion.

[Bronx Red]

Got out today for the first time this year , shot 40 on a par 32 nine hole . Was quite pleased with that although it can be like a bag of tricks the same golf, have par'd the course but have also hit 45/46 at other times . Never does to take it to serious though , other wise whats the point .

[Danny Boys Dad]

I could never hit any of the woods on the course, only on a driving range, and was useless with any iron above a 5.

I had a mate who went round Bootle with just a pitching wedge and a putter and he still beat me.

[Daniel Cabbaggio]

very bad at golf have to say. altho its nothing compared to crazy golf where i'm convinced i should and could be good, get ultra competitive, suffer some stupendous bad luck and always seem to lose

[Another Red]

I had a handicap of 7 but haven't played seriously for a few years. I manage 9 holes a year on average now.

It's quite bizarre that I found myself getting stressed out about a game that's supposed to relieve stress. I just play football now (a far better stress reliever).

My golf tip: abstain from consuming alcohol/drugs before or during a round when playing competitively.

[LFCsnoopz]

i struggle to hit the ball, only ever played once at a driving range.

do i win?

[Dan86]

I'm outstanding. If it wasn't for wretched luck, sub-standard equipment and circumstances conspiring against me, I'd undoubtedly be playing in the US Open this weekend!

I play off 10 & enjoy my golf. Play a couple of times a mth but have just joined a club again, first one since I moved out to New Zealand. I'd like to get down to single figures but will have to play at least every week.

When I was a kid I took it all too seriously, put a club through a bag my old man had bought me once, he was livid. It's all about having a good laugh with mates for me now. Even if I play shite, there's always a few good shots to keep me coming back.

My best mate took it up a couple of yrs ago & is truly woeful. Cracks me up watching him going hack followed by a shout of "fuck" about 140 times a round. He gets well wound up too.

[Jason McG]

Don't get too excited mate.......it's not that great i'm afraid (played it several times).

I'm off 19 myself & i'm playing quite well at the moment (having watched my handicap rise rapidly over the last 3 years).  Won last months medal & am progressing nicely in the summer comps so really enjoying my golf at the moment!

Golf for me is about getting together with the lads & having some great banter......a proper pisstake!!

There's 12 of us going to South Wales next weekend as well.  We're playing Pennard, Machynys & Pyle & Kenfig.......i'm even more excited now having read the reviews above!!!!  We've paid £200 each which includes 2 nights at a 4* hotel in sunny Swansea!

Sounds like you've got similar taste to me, great value that mate, we've done 4 nights with three rounds for £310 which I was delighted with. What days are you playing Pennard and Machynys? Pennard is Wednesday for us at about 12.30 and Machynys is Thursday at 10.30.

[Hoppy]

Sounds like you've got similar taste to me, great value that mate, we've done 4 nights with three rounds for £310 which I was delighted with. What days are you playing Pennard and Machynys? Pennard is Wednesday for us at about 12.30 and Machynys is Thursday at 10.30.

We booked it with the Welsh Golf Holidays company with the only instruction being that Pennard HAD to be one of the courses.  Pyle & Kenfig was a last minute change on their part, and reading the review above I'm so glad they did!!

We're playing Pennard next Friday, Machynys on Saturday & P&K on Sunday.  We're staying at The Village hotel in Swansea.

[pcoops]

Got down to 2.8 in 2003 but not played regularly since finished uni, prob much nearer double figures now. Got my arse handed to me by Simon Dyson in 2000 as well at Moortown GC....still hurts.......the ginger shit 

[Jason McG]

We'll be in Tenby by then, going there on Thursday after Machynys. I think you've touched lucky there with P&K.

[DJBrenton]

When I was a buyer ( back in the 80's) I was always having to turn down invites to golf days as I'd never played. After missing out on a free weekend at Gleneagles I decided I really should play, so off to the local pitch and putt. The first evening I met up with two dustbin men also on their first attempt. we met up every night for a few months before graduating to the loacla municipal course. After a few months, one of them and I were having ding dong battles around the 100 mark and I'd developed a nice draw off the tee ( it soared for nearly 180 yds with a big wood). The other bastard had the worst slice I've ever seen but hit it a country mile out over the rough and back into the middle of the fairway every time. With a really good short game, within 6 months he was taking under 80 consistently with a best of 75. I gave up and have never disgraced a golf course since.

[nidgemo]

Right - I'm out of here, and off to make a tit of myself again!