Author Topic: Struggling with depression  (Read 615032 times)

Offline Dr Cornwallis

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #160 on: November 15, 2010, 11:16:33 pm »
CBT is almost guaranteed successful, IF you do the work asked of you.
Again though, note the B, Behavioural.  You can't think yourself better, you have to do things, carry on, behave as normal.

Offline And Could He Play

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #161 on: November 15, 2010, 11:19:04 pm »
i'm actually looking into it now, but at the same time putting it off sayig to myself "i'll start after xmas, fresh start" basically lying to myself.
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Offline Dr Cornwallis

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #162 on: November 15, 2010, 11:19:33 pm »
And I don't agree on the depression over anxiety bit.  Depression, like Stephen Fry says, is like weather, you know that one day it will pass.  Whereas anxiety will stick to the inside of your head for as long as you let it.

Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #163 on: November 15, 2010, 11:20:11 pm »
Kind of, I try to live my life by it as best I can but I suppose I could really do with someone to 'spot me'.
Do CBT practitioners actually go with you into anxious situations or do they just instruct you to do something?

The place my missus went was a place where they took each 'student' (they call themselves a school instead of a therapy clinic) out and put them in that very situation that triggered their anxiety attacks. Very extreme my missus thought but it helped her very very much.

And thanks for the kind words.  I've been reading up on anxiety for about 10 years, I know how it works but I let myself slip too often.  You not only need to deal with the immediate problem but you also need to do some form of maintenance work to stave it off as well.

Exactly. My missus got a whole bunch of 'tools' to work with when she can feel an anxiety attack coming... She's in control of herself 99,5% of her day if not a bit more. Really really helpful to say the least!

Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #164 on: November 15, 2010, 11:22:22 pm »
i'm actually looking into it now, but at the same time putting it off sayig to myself "i'll start after xmas, fresh start" basically lying to myself.

Why wait? There's no better time to start than now (tomorrow!). The sooner the better and all that. Think of your baby girl - let her be your driving force and inspiration!

Offline Dr Cornwallis

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #165 on: November 15, 2010, 11:25:01 pm »
The place my missus went was a place where they took each 'student' (they call themselves a school instead of a therapy clinic) out and put them in that very situation that triggered their anxiety attacks. Very extreme my missus thought but it helped her very very much.

Aye, it's the only way.  Did they accompany her?
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Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #166 on: November 15, 2010, 11:33:57 pm »
Aye, it's the only way.  Did they accompany her?
My big fear is flying, but you know there;s no escape from a locked aircraft.

Yup! And they didn't just do it one time. 2-3 times a week for 6 weeks they did it. She can now go by herself to the largest pedestrian street in CPH and shop herself as well as go to department stores, take elevators etc by herself. Really improved her life quality dramatically!

Funny thing is: She fears flying as well. She spent a complete flight from Copenhagen to Glasgow and back with an instructor fro BA by her side to explain EVERYTHING that happened. Did some good but not the lot. After being at the Phobia School she was lucky to get a complete flight from Mallorca to CPH in the 3. pilot seat and that cured her almost completely. She'll never get to love it but she can manage and has even talked about going to the US (minimum 9 hrs from Denmark).

Offline Dr Cornwallis

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #167 on: November 15, 2010, 11:37:59 pm »
Good on her, and good on you.  Tackle it = big rewards.

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #168 on: November 15, 2010, 11:43:33 pm »
Good on her, and good on you.  Tackle it = big rewards.

Exactly!

I just hope for the people posting here that my wife's achievements can be some sort of inspiration to go and do something for themselves. As you said Doc, you have to do it YOURSELF!

Offline redbyrdz

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #169 on: November 16, 2010, 12:17:46 am »
And I don't agree on the depression over anxiety bit.  Depression, like Stephen Fry says, is like weather, you know that one day it will pass.  Whereas anxiety will stick to the inside of your head for as long as you let it.
Er, I really disagree with that (Fry's bit). The problem with depression is, you can not see it ever ending. There is no hope. (That doesn't mean it won't end, just that when you're having one, you never believe it'll end.)

I'm not claiming to be an expert or anything, and I don't think i've ever suffered from a proper depression, but maybe a light one like most other people will do as well.

What you say about anxiety, i  think depressions are much less specific. More total. You're not depressed about something, you are just depressed. Everything is bleak, nothing will ever change, and if, it will only get worse. Nothing is interesting, food doesn't taste, there's no point doing anything.
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Offline Delicious

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #170 on: November 16, 2010, 12:24:18 am »
Er, I really disagree with that (Fry's bit). The problem with depression is, you can not see it ever ending. There is no hope. (That doesn't mean it won't end, just that when you're having one, you never believe it'll end.)

I'm not claiming to be an expert or anything, and I don't think i've ever suffered from a proper depression, but maybe a light one like most other people will do as well.

What you say about anxiety, i  think depressions are much less specific. More total. You're not depressed about something, you are just depressed. Everything is bleak, nothing will ever change, and if, it will only get worse. Nothing is interesting, food doesn't taste, there's no point doing anything.

I had a boyfriend go into anxiety/stress attacks and then that lead to depression. From what I understand you have no control, no idea what's going on, and no idea how to get out of it.  And this is from friends I later discovered had gone through the same thing and finally gotten proper help for it.

I don't think it's fair to anyone to say one is worse than the other, because it's all very person, case specific.  What works for one, isn't going to work for the other when you're that deep. You have to find what works for you.

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #171 on: November 16, 2010, 12:41:10 am »
I'm not even sure this is right place to put this, and it's pretty embarrassing, but here goes. I'm in CBT therapy at the moment and so far it's really helped me. I got diagnosed with Soxial Anxiety disorder earlier in the year. To be honest it I thought I was just shy, I'd never heard of social anxiety, it was a relief to realise there's a whole host of people out there who suffer from exactly the same thing and have managed to get better. My shyness just got worse and worse over the last few years, to the point where I was completely avoiding things I used to do without even worrying, I was becoming a shut-in, turning down every chance to go out, sometimes even going to the local shops was a struggle. I fucking hated myself for being so weak and was scared all my mates and people around me would notice how uncomfortable I was in crowds and busy places, or even worse label me 'weird' (I felt like a freak not being able to do simple tasks and feeling so self-conscious all the while).  I thought it would be impossible to admit to anyone close to me how completely nervous and terrified social situations and things that I used to be able to deal with now made me and telling my ex was even more difficult, I felt ashamed and pathetic and just shut myself off from her, and kept it to myself - leading to a pretty horrible break-up. The whole thing just left me completely depressed and convinced I was somekind of maladjusted freak who didn't deserve any happiness and didn't see any future on the horizon.

Anyway, after a nightmare couple of years before getting some help, working with a CBT therapist has really got me back together again and able to do all the things I'd given up on in the last 3 years. I still feel nervous sometimes but learning some techniques to deal with anxiety and focus my attention outside of myself and onto others has helped. Just having someone to give you a bollocking for not doing the things you'd agreed to do and forcing you into the World again really helped me. There's probably still loads more work to do as I've realised how under-lying and deep seated alot of these feelings and problems are (I won't bore you the details, but manic-depressive mother, brother who committed suicide, being a teenage pothead and whole host of other shit that messed me up more than I ever realised at the time).

I kind of hope this helps people or shares some insight on the process, and didn't read too much like a crazy rambling mess.


 

Offline adopted_scouser

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #172 on: November 16, 2010, 01:07:31 am »
I've been feeling like shite recently.  I posted on here about a recent break up, which was pretty shit, but I don't think that's such a big part of it.  Unemployed now, and there's barely any jobs out there, any that I do apply for I get rejected.  Think alot of it is probably a routine thing.  I wake up in the morning, and have nothing to do all day, I'm not feeling suicidal, but in all honesty, I have nothing to live for.  Living back on Merseyside now, after living away, but all my mates here are at Uni all over the country.  The only day I get to do something, is Saturday, when I go back to Carlisle to see my mates, get pissed and watch the football.  I love that more than anything.  Just a chance to be lads really.  Exchange shit jokes, talk football for hours, you know the drill.  Even with a stonking hangover the next morning, I still feel good, especially after a win.  But it is the mondays that are horrible, knowing that I have to endure a whole week of nothingness until the next matchday.  I'll occasionally just go out for a walk, because being in the house all the time is driving me crazy.  I just need a job to occupy me, and let the weeks go quicker.
She keeps getting texts off him saying "Oh please take me back, I love you and I'm still not over you". We read them together naked and then we laugh about it. Then she blows me off.

Offline And Could He Play

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #173 on: November 16, 2010, 01:14:01 am »
i know exactly were your coming from, only thing i have to look forward to is friday nights in the boozer with the lads, routine isnt the word, i never leave the house unless to go the shop or chippy etc, of course on fridays i actually venture the pub. i just feel there is nothing out there for me to do. boredom, being lonely, killing me i tell you. the only light in my life is my duaghter and without her god knows what i'd do. in fact i lied seconds ago i do leave the house but just to pick her up and maybe take her on days out. just think there is more to life than this. thing is im 31 now, and since i was 16 i have always been in relationships, i left my old bird when i was 25, met the babys mum straight away and have always had company etc. until the last two years. ah, i'm going on just feel like im fucked for good now.
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Offline El Rey, por favor

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #174 on: November 16, 2010, 02:21:45 am »
i know exactly were your coming from, only thing i have to look forward to is friday nights in the boozer with the lads, routine isnt the word, i never leave the house unless to go the shop or chippy etc, of course on fridays i actually venture the pub. i just feel there is nothing out there for me to do. boredom, being lonely, killing me i tell you. the only light in my life is my duaghter and without her god knows what i'd do. in fact i lied seconds ago i do leave the house but just to pick her up and maybe take her on days out. just think there is more to life than this. thing is im 31 now, and since i was 16 i have always been in relationships, i left my old bird when i was 25, met the babys mum straight away and have always had company etc. until the last two years. ah, i'm going on just feel like im fucked for good now.

Try your hand at a dating site, you may just find a nice woman, beats going out and getting to pissed to function and failing miserably at trying to attract a decent lady to help you out. Stay safe anyway mate, drink moderately and just remember that no matter what happens, you will always have your little girl, do it for her!

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Offline timiano

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #175 on: November 16, 2010, 05:45:41 am »
I kind of hope this helps people or shares some insight on the process, and didn't read too much like a crazy rambling mess.

Thanks for sharing that :wave

Offline Myshkin

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #176 on: November 16, 2010, 10:26:48 am »
I kind of hope this helps people or shares some insight on the process, and didn't read too much like a crazy rambling mess.

I just need a job to occupy me, and let the weeks go quicker.

My situation is/was pretty much a combination of these. Since I was about 13/14 I started developing social phobia/avoidant personality disorder, at the time I just thought I was shy and it was a teenage hormone thing that would pass, but the longer it went on the worse it got. I found out about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder a couple of years ago and it described me exactly. I'd avoid almost any social situations, would hardly ever go out, avoid any situation that would make me uncomfortable really, especially situations where you are judged, like getting a job or bars/clubs. The worst part about it is that I actually got used to doing this and almost accepted it. To have no job, no real social life, no confidence, no real enjoyment/fulfilment in life and to be fine with it is screwed up. I've wasted years because of it and I couldn't really see anything changing any time soon.

I've never spoken about it to anyone I know and haven't seen any specialists for CBT, but during a bad patch of depression, I started not to care what other people thought of me, the depression was that bad I just didn't give a shit about the things I used to (the social phobia etc). I thought I should put that positive thing to use, so when the depression started to lift a little, I started to look for a job more actively. As the depression went away, the anxiety feelings started to come back but I just thought back to how I felt in the depression and thought fuck that. I can't let thoughts, because that's all they are, thoughts, to hinder me. While in this 'positive' frame of mind, I managed to find a job. Once I start work, hopefully I can get into a routine, get more exposure to situations that make me uncomfortable, start to feel better about my self and work my way out of the anxieties I have.

I don't really know much about CBT, but I guess what I try to do is similar. I recognise times when the anxiety kicks in, and I break it down. What is there to rationally fear for me? Nothing. How do the majority of people cope so easily with things that I can't? They obviously have a more healthier frame of mind/thought process. Now, I'm trying to train myself to think how 'normal' people would think in certain situations. How they would deal with things etc. Most people don't over analyse everything and worry about insignificant things, as a neurotic mess like me does. It's all about changing my thought process and stuff I guess.

Sorry if that post rambles on. I don't really think about this stuff let alone put it into words for someone to read. :P
« Last Edit: November 16, 2010, 10:32:16 am by Myshkin »

Offline Dr Cornwallis

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #177 on: November 16, 2010, 11:04:41 am »
Just having someone to give you a bollocking for not doing the things you'd agreed to do and forcing you into the World again really helped me.

Isn't it hilarious?  All this suffering, all this sadness, worry...and then you find out you did it all to yourself.
In terms of getting over anxiety, it's important to remember this:

There are two types of REWARD.
The first reward is cheap, it's easy, but it's dirty and addictive.  You get this reward when you avoid anxiety, and you get it immediately, that nice, safe, "phew", feeling washes over you.  For a short time.
The second reward is amazing, it's guilded in gold, it tastes of fucking minge, it makes you feel like the hulk, and it increases the size of your cock by 4 inches, in girth.  But in order to get this reward, you have to experience some short discomfort.  And that's all it is, discomfort.

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #178 on: November 16, 2010, 12:03:01 pm »
Just a quickie,
do people with depression actually get scared of having depression, or is it just a low mood and worthlessness, etc?

No - Not scared of having depression ( not in my case anyway ). Possibly in the past had a dread that one was going to hit , but wouldn't describe it as being scared. 

Can sometimes hit you hard and very suddenly , or can creep up on you without really noticing it's happening until it's already taken a stong hold .
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Offline redbyrdz

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #179 on: November 16, 2010, 12:08:37 pm »
I've been feeling like shite recently.  I posted on here about a recent break up, which was pretty shit, but I don't think that's such a big part of it.  Unemployed now, and there's barely any jobs out there, any that I do apply for I get rejected.  Think alot of it is probably a routine thing.  I wake up in the morning, and have nothing to do all day, I'm not feeling suicidal, but in all honesty, I have nothing to live for.  Living back on Merseyside now, after living away, but all my mates here are at Uni all over the country.  The only day I get to do something, is Saturday, when I go back to Carlisle to see my mates, get pissed and watch the football.  I love that more than anything.  Just a chance to be lads really.  Exchange shit jokes, talk football for hours, you know the drill.  Even with a stonking hangover the next morning, I still feel good, especially after a win.  But it is the mondays that are horrible, knowing that I have to endure a whole week of nothingness until the next matchday.  I'll occasionally just go out for a walk, because being in the house all the time is driving me crazy.  I just need a job to occupy me, and let the weeks go quicker.
Just an idea, ever thought of voulunteering? I'd help you spend some time, get out of the house, and it might even look good on your CV.
Could maybe start here, don't know how good they are though. http://www.volunteercentreliverpool.org.uk/
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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #180 on: November 16, 2010, 12:12:16 pm »
Just an idea, ever thought of voulunteering?

Camerons got that one covered.

If any of you are Liverpool based PM us. Try a treatment, deffo works. Free! Or even just a natter.

Off away for a few days. So you'll get no response til I get back home.
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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #181 on: November 16, 2010, 01:02:11 pm »
I've been feeling like shite recently.  I posted on here about a recent break up, which was pretty shit, but I don't think that's such a big part of it.  Unemployed now, and there's barely any jobs out there, any that I do apply for I get rejected.  Think alot of it is probably a routine thing.  I wake up in the morning, and have nothing to do all day, I'm not feeling suicidal, but in all honesty, I have nothing to live for.  Living back on Merseyside now, after living away, but all my mates here are at Uni all over the country.  The only day I get to do something, is Saturday, when I go back to Carlisle to see my mates, get pissed and watch the football.  I love that more than anything.  Just a chance to be lads really.  Exchange shit jokes, talk football for hours, you know the drill.  Even with a stonking hangover the next morning, I still feel good, especially after a win.  But it is the mondays that are horrible, knowing that I have to endure a whole week of nothingness until the next matchday.  I'll occasionally just go out for a walk, because being in the house all the time is driving me crazy.  I just need a job to occupy me, and let the weeks go quicker.

Get a punchbag with proper supports. Whenever I felt out of sorts or miffed, a good hour session of knocking seven bells out of something is really good. Just give it everything. And be careful not to punch it off it's stand. The Gym doesn't like that as it costs a load to repair.

Make sure you get proper wraps and proper sparring mitts. (Everlast are good)
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Offline Dr Cornwallis

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #182 on: November 16, 2010, 01:04:32 pm »
Camerons got that one covered.

If any of you are Liverpool based PM us. Try a treatment, deffo works. Free! Or even just a natter.

Off away for a few days. So you'll get no response til I get back home.

What is it?  I'm not based there, but I'm nosy as fuck.

Offline adopted_scouser

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #183 on: November 16, 2010, 04:39:34 pm »
Get a punchbag with proper supports. Whenever I felt out of sorts or miffed, a good hour session of knocking seven bells out of something is really good. Just give it everything. And be careful not to punch it off it's stand. The Gym doesn't like that as it costs a load to repair.

Make sure you get proper wraps and proper sparring mitts. (Everlast are good)

I used to have one mate, but I broke it ;D  Used to do boxing in my early teens.  What Myshkin is on about, being afraid of social situations and that, seems very similar to me in my early teens, as a result, I got bullied quite badly in school.  I took up boxing to "fight back", and it was great for my self esteem and for making friends.  I am much more confident now, I almost feel like a completely new person.  However, since my girlfriend left me, it isn't that I don't know how to talk to girls, but it sort of is at the same time.  I was out afew weeks ago, talking to this bird on the sofa in a club for about an hour, then inevitably, she made a move on me... I ended up telling her "No sorry, I've got a girlfriend."  Even though I don't, it just didn't seem right.  She was great and all, seemed like a really nice, down to earth girl, and was easily an 8 as well, but she just wasn't my ex.  Other girls, the conversations seem to run dry, run out of things to say.  A year ago, I could talk crap and crack jokes, make them laugh etc for ages.  Seems to die after about five minutes now though.  Probably just a confidence thing.
She keeps getting texts off him saying "Oh please take me back, I love you and I'm still not over you". We read them together naked and then we laugh about it. Then she blows me off.

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #184 on: November 16, 2010, 06:51:44 pm »
What is it?  I'm not based there, but I'm nosy as fuck.

It's a proven fact that regular massage treatments have a positive effect on ones overall well being. Mental, spiritual and physical.

You jump in one of these and I then do my thang.



Which is this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78GQnOyXLsg

I havent watched the whole clip . I just she doesn't give hom oral the the end of the treatment.

He who sees himself in all beings and all beings in himself loses all fear.

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The heart knows the way. Run in that direction

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Offline Chakan

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #185 on: November 16, 2010, 06:53:26 pm »

I havent watched the whole clip . I just she doesn't give hom oral the the end of the treatment.



Is that your signature move?

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #186 on: November 16, 2010, 07:15:37 pm »
Is that your signature move?

Only on full moons.

Iam sure there are more than one factor causing depression . Food is so important and can determine ones state of mind.

http://www.suite101.com/content/foods-for-depression---improve-mood-and-increase-serotonin-a255069

Serentonin - The Chemistry of wellbeing.
http://www.angelfire.com/hi/TheSeer/seratonin.html
He who sees himself in all beings and all beings in himself loses all fear.

- The Upanishads.

The heart knows the way. Run in that direction

- Rumi

You are held . You are loved . You are seen  - Some wise fella .

Offline adopted_scouser

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #187 on: November 16, 2010, 11:24:15 pm »
Jesus.  Well, me and the ex agreed to be friends, she knows about my depression, and said that she'd always be there for me if I needed her, as a friend.  She also suffers from depression, so we could kind of relate to one another.  Was just speaking to her then, about how down I was, and she replies with "To be honest, I don't give a shit about your pathetic life.  This is why I left you, you're pathetic, stupid, and just a knobhead of a guy."  Then started going on about how mcuh she needed a guy more "her level" and that I was just too low down the food chain for her.  She is seeing someone now, and says that he is much more her level, her class (I thought class had something to do with us breaking up, but she denied it.) He is a big, fat, ugly, sweaty, spotty creature of a man.  She said she left me because the feelings had gone, nothing more, I had come to accept that.  I was past the stage of wanting her back and all that, I still cared about her a hell of alot, maybe even still loved her, but I didn't want to be in a relationship with her.  Going to stay at a mates back in Carlisle next week, do an intense job search, spend more time with my mates, and just have a general change of scenery.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2010, 11:26:39 pm by adopted_scouser »
She keeps getting texts off him saying "Oh please take me back, I love you and I'm still not over you". We read them together naked and then we laugh about it. Then she blows me off.

Offline And Could He Play

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #188 on: November 16, 2010, 11:28:16 pm »
so similar are stories, just got back from my ex's now. we had the most fucked up relationship/friendship ever. love hate is not the word, she ask me to stay (nothing would have happened like), i left an went up, feel so much better than yesterday, strange how you can have ups and downs like this. i'll probably feel like killing myself again tomorrow.
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Offline adopted_scouser

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #189 on: November 16, 2010, 11:50:52 pm »
so similar are stories, just got back from my ex's now. we had the most fucked up relationship/friendship ever. love hate is not the word, she ask me to stay (nothing would have happened like), i left an went up, feel so much better than yesterday, strange how you can have ups and downs like this. i'll probably feel like killing myself again tomorrow.

Fucked up creatures aren't they.  Might just turn gay.  Alright, it'd hurt having a cock up my arse every now and again... but at least there'd be less emotional pain...
She keeps getting texts off him saying "Oh please take me back, I love you and I'm still not over you". We read them together naked and then we laugh about it. Then she blows me off.

Offline And Could He Play

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #190 on: November 17, 2010, 12:13:38 am »
ha ha ha true
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Offline muyuu

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #191 on: November 17, 2010, 12:34:01 am »
Jesus.  Well, me and the ex agreed to be friends, she knows about my depression, and said that she'd always be there for me if I needed her, as a friend.  She also suffers from depression, so we could kind of relate to one another.  Was just speaking to her then, about how down I was, and she replies with "To be honest, I don't give a shit about your pathetic life.  This is why I left you, you're pathetic, stupid, and just a knobhead of a guy."  Then started going on about how mcuh she needed a guy more "her level" and that I was just too low down the food chain for her.  She is seeing someone now, and says that he is much more her level, her class (I thought class had something to do with us breaking up, but she denied it.) He is a big, fat, ugly, sweaty, spotty creature of a man.  She said she left me because the feelings had gone, nothing more, I had come to accept that.  I was past the stage of wanting her back and all that, I still cared about her a hell of alot, maybe even still loved her, but I didn't want to be in a relationship with her.  Going to stay at a mates back in Carlisle next week, do an intense job search, spend more time with my mates, and just have a general change of scenery.

Why would you want a friend like that?
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Offline And Could He Play

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #192 on: November 17, 2010, 12:50:54 am »
Why would you want a friend like that?

its easier said than done, i try and still be friends with my ex, just arranged a trip to see bloody harry potter this weekend, nothing will ever happen between us again, we kill each other all the time but we can get along. its just the way it is.
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Offline adopted_scouser

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #193 on: November 17, 2010, 02:43:21 am »
Why would you want a friend like that?

I don't understand her, but despite her being an absolute bitch, I still care about her, as the good times were some of the best of my life.  She's by far the best girl I've ever been with (says alot about the others!) but she's practically a totally different person now.  I just know that the nice girl is somewhere inside.  After tonight though, there is probably no going back.  You are right, I don't need people like that in my life, it's just a shame really, because ok, she has given me a massive kick in the balls whilst I'm down tonight, she also made me the happiest I've probably ever been.  I'd probably never be that happy though as "Just Friends" and I should try and move on, and cut her out of my life.  Will be hard having her not in my life at all, after having her as such an important part in it.  Another reason why I need a job to be honest, find myself into new friendship circles, because at present, it is just the same girls that I've known for years, nothing would ever happen with any of them.
She keeps getting texts off him saying "Oh please take me back, I love you and I'm still not over you". We read them together naked and then we laugh about it. Then she blows me off.

Offline muyuu

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #194 on: November 17, 2010, 11:56:11 am »
People change. Especially young people.

Clearly that bird isn't the same person you had these great moments with. This happens all the time... sad as it may be. Her current self is not worth a second thought, you have to realise that and move on.

I hope you can find a job soon.
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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #195 on: November 18, 2010, 07:19:59 pm »
Really struggling this week.I can't stop thinking about my auntie who died on sunday and its getting me down.I feel like i need to let go but can't.The stress of other stuff thats going to isn't helping either.I'm really scared of the future and what it holds.

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #196 on: November 18, 2010, 08:27:19 pm »
Really struggling this week.I can't stop thinking about my auntie who died on sunday and its getting me down.I feel like i need to let go but can't.The stress of other stuff thats going to isn't helping either.I'm really scared of the future and what it holds.

See a therapist mate! Seriously! Don't let it get to you more than it has already. And if possible do some excersizing - really helps clear your mind too!

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #197 on: November 18, 2010, 09:35:33 pm »
Really struggling this week.I can't stop thinking about my auntie who died on sunday and its getting me down.I feel like i need to let go but can't.The stress of other stuff thats going to isn't helping either.I'm really scared of the future and what it holds.

my missus uncle died two days ago.  This happens, you need to climb over it.
Don't be scared mate.  Ask yourself what's wrong with right now, this second.  Nothing, you're fine.  Just take life one second at a time and take it all in.

Offline Delicious

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #198 on: November 18, 2010, 11:54:37 pm »
Jesus.  Well, me and the ex agreed to be friends, she knows about my depression, and said that she'd always be there for me if I needed her, as a friend.  She also suffers from depression, so we could kind of relate to one another.  Was just speaking to her then, about how down I was, and she replies with "To be honest, I don't give a shit about your pathetic life.  This is why I left you, you're pathetic, stupid, and just a knobhead of a guy."  Then started going on about how mcuh she needed a guy more "her level" and that I was just too low down the food chain for her.  She is seeing someone now, and says that he is much more her level, her class (I thought class had something to do with us breaking up, but she denied it.) He is a big, fat, ugly, sweaty, spotty creature of a man.  She said she left me because the feelings had gone, nothing more, I had come to accept that.  I was past the stage of wanting her back and all that, I still cared about her a hell of alot, maybe even still loved her, but I didn't want to be in a relationship with her.  Going to stay at a mates back in Carlisle next week, do an intense job search, spend more time with my mates, and just have a general change of scenery.

What a fooking bitch!

Offline Delicious

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Re: Struggling with depression.
« Reply #199 on: November 18, 2010, 11:59:21 pm »
I don't understand her, but despite her being an absolute bitch, I still care about her, as the good times were some of the best of my life.  She's by far the best girl I've ever been with (says alot about the others!) but she's practically a totally different person now.  I just know that the nice girl is somewhere inside.  After tonight though, there is probably no going back.  You are right, I don't need people like that in my life, it's just a shame really, because ok, she has given me a massive kick in the balls whilst I'm down tonight, she also made me the happiest I've probably ever been.  I'd probably never be that happy though as "Just Friends" and I should try and move on, and cut her out of my life.  Will be hard having her not in my life at all, after having her as such an important part in it.  Another reason why I need a job to be honest, find myself into new friendship circles, because at present, it is just the same girls that I've known for years, nothing would ever happen with any of them.

I'm really sorry she was so horrible to you.

Irony is, I had a male friend share a similar story the other evening; had the highest moments of his life with her, and then she totally destroyed him when she left and continues to be a bitch.  Ultimately you have to realize that the person she was chooses not to exist anymore, or at least not with you. You need to cut ties, be thankful for the good times and then let the horribly insensitive individual she's become go. You deserve better.