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Lads, Trying to Conceive is a Ballache!

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Fabulous_aurelio:
Hiya chaps!

Not sure if this is a thread that would be used much, or perhaps it is too public for some.

My wife and I are trying for our first baby and have been (on and off) since June.

To be honest it's taken me by surprise how difficult it is. My wife has been pregnant in the past so we know she is able, but I'm starting to get a bit concerned about my lil guys.

There seems to be a lot of groups for woman, and quite rightly, but struggled to find many good forums or support groups for men to chat about their worries.

Just thought maybe there are others that have found it hard in the past, maybe someone has some health tips or know other platforms they may have used.

There must be many folk that have been or are in a similar situation.

Basically just a bit of a place to reach out to others for support.

Again, maybe this is an inappropriate thread so mods, please delete if its crossing any lines.

Drinks Sangria:
Not a bad idea to be able to have an open discussion.

Me and my girlfriend have been having the kids chat recently. It's some way off for us (3-5 years in likelihood) but it's good to have a resource like this where people are comfortable to speak about the process etc.

I think your situation is the norm in all honesty Aurelio - 6 months seems standard time to get pregnant these days. At least amongst several couples I know who have been trying, some successful, some still trying.

Fabulous_aurelio:
It does seem the norm actually the more I've read.

I'm at the age where all our friends have kids or are at least trying. I'm 35 and my wife is 30.

This weekend three couples have announce they are expecting their first child, one of whom is my best friend! I'm buzzing for them but I've felt a bit bummed out by our recent fail attempts.

Drinks Sangria:

--- Quote from: Fabulous_aurelio on March 29, 2021, 11:32:36 am ---It does seem the norm actually the more I've read.

I'm at the age where all our friends have kids or are at least trying. I'm 35 and my wife is 30.

This weekend three couples have announce they are expecting their first child, one of whom is my best friend! I'm buzzing for them but I've felt a bit bummed out by our recent fail attempts.

--- End quote ---
Try not to be, it's different for all couples. The NHS suggests that if the lady is under 35, try for 12 months before getting a fertility test (both). So I'd say keep doing what you're doing and maybe bring the greater thought and analysis to it if you're still in the same position in 3/4 months time.

We're a few years behind yourselves and there's 4 years between my partner and I, but I think we'll be roughly similar ages to you as to when we want to try for a baby.

Kekule:
It took me and Mrs K about 18 months and we were early-mid thirties.  It can be mentally and emotionally draining but know that you are far from being any sort of outlier.  I know loads of couples, probably even the majority, who have found it difficult to conceive first time.

Weíd both had fertility tests and they both came back normal, we were told to give another couple of months trying before getting an IVF referral.  We were a couple of days away from it when we got a positive pregnancy test. I donít know if it was just one of those things, or whether it was a case of us both just relaxing a bit and knowing that we were fine and that we were eligible for IVF.

So that would be my suggestion, try not to worry too much as I think stress can have a slight affect on fertility. Itís easier said than done, mind.  Also lay off the booze a bit (if you drink that is) and try to stay fit and active but donít overdo it.

Also, know that it is absolutely no reflection on you as a man.  Iíve known some blokes get a bit strange and think that they are somehow some sort of failure. Youíre not, itís just biology.

Edit: Also, as our Dr told us, the thing you have to do in order to get pregnant is supposed to be fun.  So donít turn it into some sort of chore that needs to be ticked off the list of things to do that week. Donít be thinking ďright, this is the one.Ē  Also give yourself a couple of days to ďrecoverĒ in between if you know what I mean.   ;) ;D

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