Topic: Wasps

[Ziltoid]

Chop it off a la Saw movie style

[Ziltoid]

So sat in the office and hear a loud buzzing sound.  ask my work colleague if there's a wasp in the office.  She thought it was someone mowing the lawn outside (and it wasn't her vibrator before someone kicks in with this).  2 minutes later this c*nt comes at me.

[Crosby Nick]

Thanks for confirming what a wasp looks like.

[Ziltoid]

Thanks for confirming what a wasp looks like.

This was a biggy, thought it might have been a hornet at first

[Son of Spion]

So sat in the office and hear a loud buzzing sound.  ask my work colleague if there's a wasp in the office.  She thought it was someone mowing the lawn outside (and it wasn't her vibrator before someone kicks in with this).  2 minutes later this c*nt comes at me.

He's quite the helicopter gunship, isn't he. 

I was painting the window frame the other day and there was a monster wasp like that on the window. Thankfully he was on the outside.

I can't stand wasps because they can be narky bastards and sting you just for the fun of it, but I hate killing them and don't unless I really have to. On holiday recently I was in the sea and there was a massive wasp drowning on the surface. I actually rescued it and got away without being stung, but it probably flew off and stung someone else instead. 

[Socratease]

An old fella, a bit worse for wear due to inebriation, came into my local shop as I gave my money to the shop keeper and said, "Hey, mate! I want to buy a wathp!"

Shopkeeper, "A wathp?".

Old fella, "Sorry, a wasp!".

Shopkeeper, "We don't sell wasps!".

Old fella, "No! I only want one wasp.".

Shopkeeper, "We don't sell wasps individually or collectively!".

Old fella, "Why not? You've got one in your window!"...


 

,

[dalarr]

My father is visiting me and the weather is nice so he asked me if we could spend some time in the garden. (He’s ill with Parkinsons). We sat down and I opened up a beer for him, and within one minute..1..a fucking wasp was practicing finishing moves in our vicinity. Hate them with a passion.

[Pheeny]

So had a wasps nest removed from the garden on Thursday,Fire Brigade provides a service for €25.

Then on my cycle to work on Friday morning I get stung and now my foot is like a balloon.

Karma is a bitch...

[Max_powers]

Had been working out of town so had my car parked and idle for 6 months. Come back and there is a nest in the trunk.  I don't know what to do now.

[El Lobo]

You can normally just get fire lighters with some scrap wood for a good fire, but if it’s been there six months it might be more sensible to try and create some sort of fireball with a load of gas canisters or even invest in a hand grenade from the black market

[keano7]

Had been working out of town so had my car parked and idle for 6 months. Come back and there is a nest in the trunk.  I don't know what to do now.

Bonjela usually helps.

[Red Beret]

Had been working out of town so had my car parked and idle for 6 months. Come back and there is a nest in the trunk.  I don't know what to do now.

I do.

[Max_powers]

I do.

I am thinking off starting by using some sort of pesticide spray. Attack them at night in full head to toe covering. Will do it for a few nights to finish them, then I will break the nest with a stick I will burn it.

Don't want to burn my car, but if plan A doesn't work then sacrifices will have to be made.

Insane part is that I drove for an hour yesterday without realizing the nest was there.

[Ziltoid]

There's a nest in a wall that I walk past every day.  They seem to be getting more sluggish but more cuntish when I walk past.

[rob1966]

I am thinking off starting by using some sort of pesticide spray. Attack them at night in full head to toe covering. Will do it for a few nights to finish them, then I will break the nest with a stick I will burn it.

Don't want to burn my car, but if plan A doesn't work then sacrifices will have to be made.

Insane part is that I drove for an hour yesterday without realizing the nest was there.

Do you need the car much at the minute? The wasps will all die soon due to lack of food so it'll be safe to remove the nest then.

If you do need the car, attack it at night with loads of insecticide spray. I wouldn't smash it open though, I'd just try and get it in a box or something and then seal the box

[Charlie Adams fried egg]

Do you need the car much at the minute? The wasps will all die soon due to lack of food so it'll be safe to remove the nest then.

If you do need the car, attack it at night with loads of insecticide spray. I wouldn't smash it open though, I'd just try and get it in a box or something and then seal the box

I took one out of our loft a few years back in October. Just picked it up and bunged it in a bin bag, there was no sign of life at all and no wasps around the loft.

[Crosby Nick]

Do nearly all wasps die out in winter then? Obviously some must survive to keep going.

I remember going to my in laws in Ireland once Christmas and there were hundreds of dead wasps all over the place. Do they come inside to die, or are they looking for food/warmth.

This is where Gulley would give us a conclusive update on their life cycle.

[rob1966]

I took one out of our loft a few years back in October. Just picked it up and bunged it in a bin bag, there was no sign of life at all and no wasps around the loft.

His profile says he is in Canada, so no idea if he's in the "fuck me its freezing already today" part or if it is still warm enough for the little bastards to find food.

Had one bouncing against the bathroom window while I was sat on the bog this morning, luckily he'd found his way out before I needed to get in the shower.

[Slippers]

Do nearly all wasps die out in winter then? Obviously some must survive to keep going.

I remember going to my in laws in Ireland once Christmas and there were hundreds of dead wasps all over the place. Do they come inside to die, or are they looking for food/warmth.

This is where Gulley would give us a conclusive update on their life cycle.

I think it's only the queens that survive,they hibernate in places like chimneys and loft spaces over the winter.

[rob1966]

Do nearly all wasps die out in winter then? Obviously some must survive to keep going.

I remember going to my in laws in Ireland once Christmas and there were hundreds of dead wasps all over the place. Do they come inside to die, or are they looking for food/warmth.

This is where Gulley would give us a conclusive update on their life cycle.

The pregnant queens hibernate, everyone else dies (fucking royalty). Plenty of Queens will die during winter too, they either starve or get eaten, but enough survive to keep the species going.

[Max_powers]

His profile says he is in Canada, so no idea if he's in the "fuck me its freezing already today" part or if it is still warm enough for the little bastards to find food.

Had one bouncing against the bathroom window while I was sat on the bog this morning, luckily he'd found his way out before I needed to get in the shower.

Sadly its not cold enough here yet and I need the car too. The public transportation is bad and I don't wanna use it during covid and I live on top of a mountain so every walk is intense hike.

[Graeme]

Burn the car. It’s the only way.

[Lee1-6Liv]

Ship the car to Belgium where the fire brigade will get rid of wasps for €25 

[Red Beret]

I am thinking off starting by using some sort of pesticide spray. Attack them at night in full head to toe covering. Will do it for a few nights to finish them, then I will break the nest with a stick I will burn it.

Don't want to burn my car, but if plan A doesn't work then sacrifices will have to be made.

Insane part is that I drove for an hour yesterday without realizing the nest was there.

Terrifying! But it goes to show how unpredictable they can be.

I saw a guy on YouTube euthanize an unruly bee hive by taping it up and pouring soapy water through it. Apparently the soap messes up their outer layer somehow.

I know you can't really seal a wild hive but I'm guessing you wont be the first to face a problem like this.  Maybe with it contained in the boot you could lob some kind of gas bomb in there? Would probably stink out the whole car though!

[Only Me]

Had been working out of town so had my car parked and idle for 6 months. Come back and there is a nest in the trunk.  I don't know what to do now.

is it a Bee MW?

[Max_powers]

Last night had a shot of whiskey to give me courage. Then went out there in the middle of the night wearing safety glasses, hoodie, face mask, gloves and pants tucked in my socks. Sprayed the nest with some insecticide. Saw about 10 wasps drop. Left the nest alone and will remove the nest tomorrow.

 

[Son of Spion]

Last night had a shot of whiskey to give me courage. Then went out there in the middle of the night wearing safety glasses, hoodie, face mask, gloves and pants tucked in my socks. Sprayed the nest with some insecticide. Saw about 10 wasps drop. Left the nest alone and will remove the nest tomorrow.

 

[liverbloke]

Last night had a shot of whiskey to give me courage. Then went out there in the middle of the night wearing safety glasses, hoodie, face mask, gloves and pants tucked in my socks. Sprayed the nest with some insecticide. Saw about 10 wasps drop. Left the nest alone and will remove the nest tomorrow.

 

so basically what you wear before sex

 

[So… Howard Philips]

Just look at this monstrosity;

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-54681723

[dalarr]

It was warm around here a couple of days ago and saw my first wasp of the year. Hope you all are prepared for this year’s battle. Let’s stay focused and not give these fuckers an inch.

[Charlie Adams fried egg]

^ It's a tough one.
I think proper wasp fighting season should only start once they've all been made redundant and start to go a bit rogue, which is usually August time (thanks Gully  - you educated many of us on the lifecycle of the wasp).

As long as you haven't got a nest somewhere that you need to use, let them do their work, then in August all bets are off.

[dalarr]

I will refrain from any violence until August. I’m not happy about this but respect on the battlefield is important.

[Red Beret]

Just look at this monstrosity;

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-54681723

[Son of Spion]

I saw my first wasp of the year last Monday. Just sat there on our balcony minding his own business, so I left him alone.

Ho looked rather sluggish. Almost as though he'd been asleep all winter. 

My stance on wasps these days is to only resort to violence as a last resort. Mind you, the one who stung me in Sefton Park two summers ago didn't afford me the same courtesy. I didn't even know it was sat on my chest until its unprovoked attack.

All bets are off come the end of summer though. Once they all get pissed on fermenting fruit and kick off all over the place.

[ToneLa]

Wasps kill greenfly

As a grower of chilli plants, this is OK with me

[Graeme]

I will refrain from any violence until August. I’m not happy about this but respect on the battlefield is important.

That’s like watching your enemy build a nuclear missile factory on your border, and then saying “If they start firing missiles at us then yeah we’ll fight them”

These fuckers are in full on preparation for an all out attack. The time to fight is now.

[afc tukrish]

That’s like watching your enemy build a nuclear missile factory on your border, and then saying “If they start firing missiles at us then yeah we’ll fight them”

These fuckers are in full on preparation for an all out attack. The time to fight is now.

Flurry of tactical fouls to prevent the late summer breakaways...

[Ziltoid]

Just look at this monstrosity;

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-54681723

There's a doc on Murder Hornets on Discovery plus about this exact thing. Me and the youngest watched it.

[Charlie Adams fried egg]

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/apr/29/stinging-wasps-are-precious-not-pointless-say-scientists

Bloody Hell, even the wasps have better PR than Liverpool these days.

[Ziltoid]

They are voracious predators of pest insects

Not exactly best buddy insects themselves to be fair.