Topic: Jokes so bad they're punny

[Tesco tearaway]

Actually I heard the Walls were demolished by freak winds - a twister of some sort.

And guess what?
The Walls belonged to long time neighbours Ben and Jerry.

[24/7]

And guess what?
The Walls belonged to long time neighbours Ben and Jerry.

They couldn't get to the scene though cos the traffic was chocca....

[Tesco tearaway]

They couldn't get to the scene though cos the traffic was chocca....

But when they do get there the Walls will have been rebuilt and will be in mint condition.

[Elmo!]

The driver said he slipped on the brake peddle, he's blaming it on his funny feet

After he slipped, the car calippoed the kerb.

[24/7]

But when they do get there the Walls will have been rebuilt and will be in mint condition.

That journey will certainly follow a rocky road.

[Tesco tearaway]

That journey will certainly follow a rocky road.

I hope it's by horse and cart.
Then again if it's a rocky road they'll have to be careful that they don't fall out of the Carte D'or.

[Redwhiteandnotblue]

It's a strange thing to have happened on a Sundae.

[sinnermichael]

Just used the last of the antiperspirant spray. Roll on tomorrow.

[B.A. Baracus]

I reckon England will cope at Wembley. They wouldn't Copenhagen.

[24/7]

I reckon England will cope at Wembley. They wouldn't Copenhagen.

[24/7]

Struggling with cash but have got some bad wiring issues at home.

Does anyone know a good electrician who doesn't charge the earth?

(shocking, I know, but it's from my mate Pete - quick plug there for him - and this is the end of the joke's extension........a cord ingly......)

[Phil M]

Struggling with cash but have got some bad wiring issues at home.

Does anyone know a good electrician who doesn't charge the earth?

(shocking, I know, but it's from my mate Pete - quick plug there for him - and this is the end of the joke's extension........a cord ingly......)

I know a lad, but he's currently booked up, sorry mate.

[AlphaDelta]

My daughter accidentally swallowed a tiny torch I left lying around the house, she was a bit upset but it was worth it to see her little face light up.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Parents! Save a few pounds this Christmas by telling your kids that Santa didn't make it through the pandemic.

[stoz]

Struggling with cash but have got some bad wiring issues at home.

Does anyone know a good electrician who doesn't charge the earth?

(shocking, I know, but it's from my mate Pete - quick plug there for him - and this is the end of the joke's extension........a cord ingly......)

I know a lad, but he's currently booked up, sorry mate.

Can't he Switch his appointments around?

[Phil M]

Can't he Switch his appointments around?

Well maybe but he can't be positive.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Well maybe but he can't be positive.

If he doesn't get it right then he might be grounded by his employer

[afc tukrish]

If he doesn't get it right then he might be grounded by his employer

No more life in the fast LAN, as it were...

[24/7]

Got any more puns? Not even one? Come on now, socket to me!

[Elmo!]

Got any more puns? Not even one? Come on now, socket to me!

Some bright spark will be along soon with more.

[Phil M]

If he doesn't get it right then he might be grounded by his employer

Look I could give you another fella's number but it would be a shameless plug.

[Tesco tearaway]

My daughter accidentally swallowed a tiny torch I left lying around the house, she was a bit upset but it was worth it to see her little face light up.

How do you make a moderators eyes light up?
Shine a torch in their ear 

[24/7]

Unless you wish to amp up the ante with certain mods, keep up with current affairs, eh?

[RedBootsTommySmith]

Unless you wish to amp up the ante with certain mods, keep up with current affairs, eh?

Watt I notice with these puns is that they tend to alternate between positive and negative energy levels and never reach their full potential before they phase out. Occasionally you get some real joules, sometimes you can feel the tension but you rarely get too much static. I'll not put up any resistance to this theme, I'll just pack up and go ohm.

[RedBootsTommySmith]

Watt I notice with these puns is that they tend to alternate between positive and negative energy levels and never reach their full potential before they phase out. Occasionally you get some real joules, sometimes you can feel the tension but you rarely get too much static. I'll not put up any resistance to this theme, I'll just pack up and go ohm.

Well, that didn’t generate too much response, did it? I was expecting some bright sparks to surge in.

[Komic]

My daughter accidentally swallowed a tiny torch I left lying around the house, she was a bit upset but it was worth it to see her little face light up.

My son ate a load of copper wires, he's grounded until he can conduct himself properly.

[Statto Red]

A Scotsman, Irishman & Welshman walk into a pub, there's normally an Englishman but he's still at Euro 2020

[24/7]

My son ate a load of copper wires, he's grounded until he can conduct himself properly.

In order to get that grounding, he could try meditation.









"Ohm!"

[RedBootsTommySmith]

What do you call the wife of a hippie?






Mississippi

[Jono69]

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

[Redwhiteandnotblue]

It's all gone too quiet in here. I'll break the silence with:

What's the difference between Lassie and Football?

Lassie came home.

Too soon?

[capt k]

Q:Whats the cheapest meat available??
A: Deer testicles, they are under a buck

[Kenny's Jacket]

A Scotsman, Irishman & Welshman walk into a pub, there's normally an Englishman but he's still at Euro 2020

Has anyone seen Football
was meant to be home a week ago
getting really worried now

[Son of Spion]

Has anyone seen Football
was meant to be home a week ago
getting really worried now

You can relax. It was spotted in Italy this week and is fine and well.

[Kenny's Jacket]

You can relax. It was spotted in Italy this week and is fine and well.

Phew

[capt k]

Phew

bit like englands trophy haul

[BlackandWhitePaul]

A neighbour just told me that he's sad after getting rid of his entire Dusty Springfield vinyl collection.

He said "Now I just don't know what to do with my shelf"   

[mickl]

I couldn’t for the life of me switch my radio on.

I was on holiday in the North Wales at the time.

There was a big button on the top.

The local radio repair man said :

Prestatyn boyo.

And now it works….

[Son of Spion]

I couldn’t for the life of me switch my radio on.

I was on holiday in the North Wales at the time.

There was a big button on the top.

The local radio repair man said :

Prestatyn boyo.

And now it works….

I haven't a Clwyd you're on about.

[24/7]

I haven't a Clwyd you're on about.

It's a Conwy can all see through.