Martin Tyler has always been insufferable to listen to.
Corrected the quote, it's from his pastoral carer.
The interview goes on to attest that Martin's weediness in subbuteo head-to-heads lit a fire in him to corrupt the beauty of football for as many people as he could.
It's on YouTube, Tyler, Football's Head Gimp, and is very interesting.
I advise not watching it while you're eating though.