Topic: The Apprentice 2017

[Skidder.]

 It's back on folks, 4th October - let's see how good they are at assembling another year of utter twats.

 <a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/Bv8u92YNSkE" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/Bv8u92YNSkE</a>

[Skidder.]

Oh - and I hope they kicked You're Fired in the nuts - it has been utterly shambolic and cringeworthy of late.

[redgriffin73]

Can't wait for this, particularly as the RAWK threads usually make entertaining reading!

https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2017/09/26/time-to-meet-contestants-new-series-apprentice/

[Skidder.]

http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/tv/the-apprentice-uk-candidates-13675023

Here are the c*nts.

Has Karen Brady been demoted to a contestant?

[tubby]

I'm all in on Charles Burns already.

[damomad]

I don't get those PR shots. It's your first taste of fame, why not crack a little smile and have people warm to you rather than being a sour puss/look like a total B-I-T-C-H!

[campioni]

http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/tv/the-apprentice-uk-candidates-13675023

Here are the c*nts.

Has Karen Brady been demoted to a contestant?

Elliot Van Emden has already put himself out in front for c*nt of the series before its even started.

Key information: Van Emden's friends call him "Tory boy" as he used to work in David Cameron's office before he became Prime Minister. He aims to band together with who he thinks are the stronger candidates, to secure his place in the final.

He says: "Sometimes to get to the top, you have to grease the pole behind you."

[Crosby Nick]

He says: "Sometimes to get to the top, you have to grease the pole behind you."

And then deport him.

[redgriffin73]

Michaela Wain looks like she borrowed her dad's glasses from the 1980s. And Charles Burns got his from his grandad in the 1930s.

Oh, and Sarah Lynn: "Women are like tea bags - you don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water." Reminds me of the Eddie Izzard line "I like my women like I like my coffee - in a plastic cup."

Looks a right bunch of twats overall...can't wait!

[Crosby Nick]

Michaela Wain looks like she borrowed her dad's glasses from the 1980s. And Charles Burns got his from his grandad in the 1930s.

Oh, and Sarah Lynn: "Women are like tea bags - you don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water." Reminds me of the Eddie Izzard line "I like my women like I like my coffee - in a plastic cup."

Looks a right bunch of twats overall...can't wait!

Indeed, Michaela Wain looks like 80s golfer Tom Kite.

[Skidder.]

He says: "Sometimes to get to the top, you have to grease the pole behind you."

"Yeah... grease my pole bitch.... go on you Apprentice... oh yeah... "

Said Lord Sugartits.

[jillcwhomever]

Michaela Wain looks like she borrowed her dad's glasses from the 1980s. And Charles Burns got his from his grandad in the 1930s.

Oh, and Sarah Lynn: "Women are like tea bags - you don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water." Reminds me of the Eddie Izzard line "I like my women like I like my coffee - in a plastic cup."

Looks a right bunch of twats overall...can't wait!

Are they ever any different? But I will still look forward to seeing it. 

[CrasherKid79]

Love this programme in a sadistic kind of way. Surely they can't be as bad as last year though.

[tubby]

Starting tonight, you guys.

[Titi Camara]

http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/tv/the-apprentice-uk-candidates-13675023

Here are the c*nts.

Ha ha Elliot Van Emden looks like he's taking shit in his pants lol



I predict Sajan Shah will declare himself the best at fucking everything but will struggle to make a piece of toast/turn on a laptop/perform the simplest of tasks.

Make no mistake, that's a massive bunch of uber c*nts right there, fingers crossed for some sort of localised calamity which sees the whole show/shitestain wiped from the face of the planet.

[jillcwhomever]

Loads of Mancs in there too. Still looking forward to them being totally humiliated as per usual. 

[sinnermichael]

That Jade looks like Gemma Atkinson. Sounds like her as well.

[jillcwhomever]

Very poor by the boys. I knew he'd let that Charles off, he is going to be so annoying but hopefully he won't last too much longer.

[Libertine]

They have an entire business essentially set up for them, all they have to do is mince some meat and sell burgers, and between the 9 of them they can't make a penny profit.

Even by the extremely low standards of this show, that's extraordinary.

[killer-heels]

Next time I am in a position where I need to produce a label of some sort, I will ensure there is a typer, a reader and then finally a proofer.

[swoopy]

Imagine not going out at lunchtime to sell hot food. Suicide.

[monkeyharris]

I liked the face on the butcher when the boys were telling him they deserve a lower price for the buffalo meet because they'll be selling it with passion

[tubby]

I'm all in on Charles Burns already.

For fuck's sake.

[Cha82]

Anyone else think 'Scary' Liz looks a bit like Olive from 'On the Buses'? 

[Igor Tripod Biscan]

ANisa, Joanna, Jade and Michaela all pretty fit

[Pistolero]

entertaining start ......was glad Charles stayed in as the show always needs a mouthy bellend..his Operation Yewtree glasses are an added bonus  .....you could tell Tory boy was a c*nt from first glance and he confirmed that first impression with every utterance he made on the show.....the Beardy lad who stood up for himself in the boardroom seems ok.......quite like the look of Anisa and also the red haired Peter Kaye soundalike bird....Sarah seems astute and very capable...so obviously will be out in the next few weeks...Karen Brady remains an annoying twat as some things never change.

[LovelyCushionedHeader]

Just me who thought Charles was Jonah Hill in Wolf of Wall Street?

[Titi Camara]

People genuinely watch this? Weird!

[redgriffin73]

Anyone else think 'Scary' Liz looks a bit like Olive from 'On the Buses'? 

Yes!

People genuinely watch this? Weird!

Get on it, it's amazing, if only just for this thread!

[ashleyrose-66]

I always find it amazing that they spend so long in a room on episode 1 trying to think of a team name!
Surely, when you send off your application to be on the programme, you know (if successful) this is going to happen. 
Therefore, just spend 5 minutes on Google before you even start filming the programme to search for a decent name and get it done in seconds.

Secondly, I really struggle when teams try to make a "high end" or "gourmet" product to shift in just 6 hours!   

The task is about margins.  You buy as cheaply as possible and you sell at a profit.

They were making burgers for fucks sake.  Just buy the mince and buns etc, make the burgers and get out and sell them.
They are there for ONE day.  They are not trying to build up a burger business over a period of time. 
All they have to do is make and sell cheap burgers and make as much money as possible. 
They don't have to worry about returning trade etc so buying expensive Buffalo meat is just plain stupid!

[iamnant]

What staggers me is that these are meant to be great business minds, and yet every week the viewer sits there and can immediately think of better ideas / strategies than most of the muppets on display. And yet we continue to watch this shower of shite.

Tory boy needs putting in the bin for being openly Tory.

[redgriffin73]

What staggers me is that these are meant to be great business minds, and yet every week the viewer sits there and can immediately think of better ideas / strategies than most of the muppets on display. And yet we continue to watch this shower of shite.

Also, you'd think they've been watching previous series like we all do so they must have some idea how it works best and what they are looking for and how to get the best results. They come across like arrogant muppets who think they can just do things their way and then wonder why it's all gone tits up.

[killer-heels]

What staggers me is that these are meant to be great business minds, and yet every week the viewer sits there and can immediately think of better ideas / strategies than most of the muppets on display. And yet we continue to watch this shower of shite.

Tory boy needs putting in the bin for being openly Tory.

Its great.

But they are not supposed to be great business minds, otherwise they would not come on this show.

[iamnant]

Its great.

But they are not supposed to be great business minds, otherwise they would not come on this show.

It really is great.

That's a good point. But you'd hope they have more to them than your average viewer. But let's be honest, part of the fun is watching it, being infuriated at their incompetence and explaining loudly how much better you'd do things.

[iamnant]

Also, you'd think they've been watching previous series like we all do so they must have some idea how it works best and what they are looking for and how to get the best results. They come across like arrogant muppets who think they can just do things their way and then wonder why it's all gone tits up.

It really does baffle me how they don't just watched previous shows to have a rough idea how to get through the "rounds". And what also baffles me is they have arguments about who said / did what, forgetting there's literally a fucking camera crew following them around all day.

[7777]

People genuinely watch this? Weird!

It's great. Even my two youngest sat glued last night at the amount of stupidity on display. Rooney-esque it was

[CraigDS]

What staggers me is that these are meant to be great business minds

That's the shite thing about this show and why I refuse to watch it... they aren't. They aren't even close to being great business minds, or even semi-competent business minds for the most part.

The show, imo, would be so much better if they actually did have contestants who were bright, who actually had something about them, but then if they did that it wouldn't appeal to the idiot masses who watch it.

[Elmo!]

I always find it amazing that they spend so long in a room on episode 1 trying to think of a team name!
Surely, when you send off your application to be on the programme, you know (if successful) this is going to happen. 
Therefore, just spend 5 minutes on Google before you even start filming the programme to search for a decent name and get it done in seconds.

Secondly, I really struggle when teams try to make a "high end" or "gourmet" product to shift in just 6 hours!   

The task is about margins.  You buy as cheaply as possible and you sell at a profit.

They were making burgers for fucks sake.  Just buy the mince and buns etc, make the burgers and get out and sell them.
They are there for ONE day.  They are not trying to build up a burger business over a period of time. 
All they have to do is make and sell cheap burgers and make as much money as possible. 
They don't have to worry about returning trade etc so buying expensive Buffalo meat is just plain stupid!

Makes perfect sense to brand your product as luxury, and then buy shit cheap ingredients like the girls did in this task. It doesn't really matter if the product isn't actually luxury as they don't need to retain their customers. Designing it to appear luxury helps them sell at a higher price giving them a higher margin.

[iamnant]

That's the shite thing about this show and why I refuse to watch it... they aren't. They aren't even close to being great business minds, or even semi-competent business minds for the most part.

The show, imo, would be so much better if they actually did have contestants who were bright, who actually had something about them, but then if they did that it wouldn't appeal to the idiot masses who watch it.

I wonder if there are applicants who would actually be good on the show, but wouldn't make "good" TV in the minds of the producers? Actually, who am I kidding - I bet there's plenty, but because they're not loud mouth idiots, they don't get on.

[Antoine Lavoisier]

It used to be good this, but now it's just edited to death now and it spoils the flow - half the time you don't even know what the fuck they're meant to be doing. I'm sitting there thinking I've missed something and rewind it.