Topic: The Laugh at Manchester United Thread or the 'Ban Thread' for idiots....?.

[-Daws-]

He's got a sense of humour, that's what I've always liked about Zlatan. The ego thing and persona is all a bit Chuck Norris, but it's amusing. Despite his sketchy form (and despite his tally he has missed a lot of chances) there's clearly a leader there who is a big moment player. They will miss him even if they are slightly more fluent with Rashford up top.

Leaves him and United in a difficult situation with his contract. Did he actually get offered one?

[Miltonred]

Ibra's injury situation leaves me with such mixed emotion. I can't decide whether to laugh hysterically at United misfortune to lose your only real goalscorer in the most crucial moment of the season or manically cry that they hadn't blown 300k a week to keep him on for next season?

As for the player, its a real shame this happens at this moment, because lets be honest here, if the papers are right and he doesn't play again until next January, by the time he gets any kind of match sharpness, next season is a write off, and at his age, who knows if he ever really recovers. Likely the end of him on any kind of big stage.

[goalspaytherent]

He won't be coming back if he has done his ACL ...not a chance

[JohnnoWhite]

Have you watched the game? Even if we ignore the fact that Mancs' 1st goal came from an obvious handball, and the 2nd goal was a deflection, it was by far Chelsea's worst game of the season. They never showed up, just like they didn't show up against Palace couple of weeks earlier. Something is happening at Chelsea, but they are still hiding it well from the press.

You're dead right about the Kings Road swells not turning up. Maybe they thought they just had to walk out on the park and the game would have been handed to them on a plate. Their individual stars just didn't perform - unless you count Costa's usual face-holding histrionics as "performing". To be more accurate still, they were not allowed to perform because they were out-fought by their counterparts on the day. 

[Iska]

Smalling has a knee injury sustained on England duty while Jones suffered a foot problem in a tackle with Smalling in training before England's friendly against Germany in Dusseldorf last month.

Mourinho added: "They have to be brave now. If it was me, it [returning from injury] would be tomorrow.

[Lycan]

He really is a bad dickhead.

[fudge]

I actually like Zlatan. His ego bullshit is just a persona or a pisstake of sorts. You can see through some of his interviews what he's really like. I never read into his one liners really.

yeah i agree, whilst its great to revel in that arrogance as a rival fan its clearly a brilliant self deprecating pisstake.

Unless it isn't in which case WOW that means Zlatan would make Narcissus look a bit shy

[fudge]

His leg ones.

[CornerFlag]

Haha fuck him to big ego twat.

Nice swan.

Tit.

[Lycan]

http://www.manutd.com/en/News-And-Features/Features/2017/Apr/Paul-Pogba-tops-passing-charts-at-home-and-abroad.aspx?newsid=CE6374C3-EE87-475F-B4CF-036314DF8383


And so he should be for 90 mill.


Honestly, the utter desperation they're showing now, trying to convince everyone Pogba has been a success is absolutely hilarious.

[Working Class Hen-Pecked Hero]

He's about 30 passes ahead of Hendo who's been broken half the season. They paid too much for him, there's no shame to admit it, he's a good footballer, not world class. They bought him as a brand and most of your prawn sandwich mancs believe the hype. Most sensible ones are aware Carrick is more important than him

[McSquared]

Well 14 passes.

See he's pretty good at long balls though

[dalarr]

Paul "Can't tackle" Scholes reckons that Rashford has the ability of players like Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar.
He certainly has an enormous potential, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

http://m.bbc.com/sport/football/39668405

[cptrios]

Oh wait am I stupid? Does the CL qualification for the EL winner NOT take the 4th place slot? Has this already been answered a billion times?

Yes you're stupid, yes it's been answered a billion times 

Billion and 1 now - England gets 5 places, Top 4 and Europa winners

Stop that right now.

  You know what, embarrassment be damned. That 'news' makes me so genuinely happy that I don't care!

[Miltonred]

Paul "Can't tackle" Scholes reckons that Rashford has the ability of players like Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar.
He certainly has an enormous potential, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

http://m.bbc.com/sport/football/39668405

I reckon he could be as big a star as Danny Welbeck.

[Lucaspool FC]

He certainly has an enormous potential

Does he really? If he was not english he wouldn't be very hyped at all. I think he will have closer to a Carroll or Welbeck career rather than a Rooney one.

[Mister Flip Flop]

He won't be coming back if he has done his ACL ...not a chance

This. At his age he's finished with an ACL.

[Red-Soldier]

I know he's playing for yernited, but it's still not good to see a player injured like that.

That's his career probably over.

[Crosby Nick]

Sorry end to a stellar career if so. Scrambling around trying to qualify for a tournament he'll never win anyway.

[Caligula?]

Shame that. I kind of like him. His United career is almost certainly over, but not sure about his overall career. There's always the MLS or something.

[RMG]

Surely his ego would only make him more determined to come back surely?

[Schmidt]

No tears for Rojo then?

[Miltonred]

Paul "Can't tackle" Scholes reckons that Rashford has the ability of players like Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar.
He certainly has an enormous potential, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

http://m.bbc.com/sport/football/39668405

But will he be as good as Janujizz?

I'm just watching Cleverly. Will he reach the heights that Tom has? 

[Samie]

Man Utd have confirmed that Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Marcos Rojo will miss the remainder of the season http://bbc.in/2p38Gb8

[rich87]

Both have cruciate ligament injuries. Be interesting how they do without there top goal scorer now

[Zoomers]

Two ACLs in one game. That's pretty fucked up.

[goalspaytherent]

No tears for Rojo then?

No ....He's a c*nt

[ggcc14]

Can't say I'm sad Ibrahimovic won't be playing for Utd anymore. But seeing such a legend of the game in my opinion potentially ending his career like that is rough.

[Zoomers]

Lol only just seen this too http://www.goal.com/en/news/8/main/2017/04/21/34795902/man-utd-duo-smalling-and-jones-urged-to-be-brave-to-risk-by

Basically telling them to play while injured and deal with it. Brilliant management.

[Statto Red]

No tears for Rojo then?

No, karma for him, the players he's tried to injure with shithouse tackles, 

[Robinred]

Both have cruciate ligament injuries. Be interesting how they do without there top goal scorer now

I actually think it's advantageous. Rashford, Martial and Lingard offer pace and movement, and won't be playing in Ibrahimovic's shadow. Despite his goals, Ibrahimovic actually stunted Utd's attack. They'll play a more expansive game now, and the real pace they've got will cause teams different problems.

Just my opinion, nothing against Ibrahimovic.

[Something Worse]

Paul "Can't tackle" Scholes reckons that Rashford has the ability of players like Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar.
He certainly has an enormous potential, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

http://m.bbc.com/sport/football/39668405

So the great Bringer of Youth Jose Mourinho has him on the bench? Sounds about right.

[Lush is the best medicine...]

No, karma for him, the players he's tried to injure with shithouse tackles, 

and that incident with the woman in a bar in Manchester a year or two ago, utter arsehole of a man

Meanwhile, will this tit ever learn?

https://twitter.com/unitedstandmufc/status/855808172006789120

[Phil M]

Lol only just seen this too http://www.goal.com/en/news/8/main/2017/04/21/34795902/man-utd-duo-smalling-and-jones-urged-to-be-brave-to-risk-by

Basically telling them to play while injured and deal with it. Brilliant management.

From the Roy Hodgson coaching manual.

[thelinnen]

I actually think it's advantageous. Rashford, Martial and Lingard offer pace and movement, and won't be playing in Ibrahimovic's shadow. Despite his goals, Ibrahimovic actually stunted Utd's attack. They'll play a more expansive game now, and the real pace they've got will cause teams different problems.

Just my opinion, nothing against Ibrahimovic.

Ibrahimovic is a big game player though. Would've made a big difference if they make it to the Europa League final.

[Doc Red]

Shame that. I kind of like him. His United career is almost certainly over, but not sure about his overall career. There's always the MLS or something.

Considering he's been their best player and will only be sidelined due to an injury sustained whilst playing for them, I think they'll extend his contract for another year. Would be incredibly harsh and insensitive if they didn't, he was one of their marquee incomings and would send the wrong message for potential signings.

[Robinred]

Ibrahimovic is a big game player though. Would've made a big difference if they make it to the Europa League final.

Oh I accept that. Just pointing out that it's a potential "swings and roundabouts" issue. They'll cause teams a different set of problems now.

[goalspaytherent]

Ibrahimovic is a big game player though. Would've made a big difference if they make it to the Europa League final.

I thought they'd already won it ?

[Doc Red]

Lol only just seen this too http://www.goal.com/en/news/8/main/2017/04/21/34795902/man-utd-duo-smalling-and-jones-urged-to-be-brave-to-risk-by

Basically telling them to play while injured and deal with it. Brilliant management.

He already called out Smalling a few months back implying he should tough it out and play. Turned out the injury was more serious than he thought and Smalling was out more than a month. Interestingly enough, he used Jones as the stick to beat Smalling with in that instance, something along the lines of Jones being willing to play even when not at 100% and unlike others.

[thelinnen]

Oh I accept that. Just pointing out that it's a potential "swings and roundabouts" issue. They'll cause teams a different set of problems now.

He'll play elbows in Ibrahimovic's place so I doubt you'll notice much of a difference.