Topic: Why are some types of cars driven so shitely?

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Every fucking time I go out and there is some dickhead driving like a complete bellend with no respect for other road users, speeding like a twat, driving up your arse, swerving in front of you, forcing you to brake or speed up to avoid a crash, being unable to park, being unable to not hog the fucking road and being unable not to be an absolute fucking shithouse then 99% of the time it'll be a Jag or an Audi or a BMW or a Chelsea Tractor or a Porsche or suchlike.


Why are they so laughably shite at driving? Once you see the car, you immediately think 'Fuck me. What are these bastards going to do THIS time'

[Jwils21]

Self-loving super important business types who have super important close of play meetings about finance and important business and such tend to drive those cars. They have to get to their appointments and meetings and golf and such like so get out of their way. You are not as important.

Also  cocky kids who have a £30,000 A-class or 1 series on finance to reflect their exceptional wealth (despite still living in their ma’s box room)

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Case in point today. Driving down a backroad which is a 20 and I'm driving at about 21ish as I know there are deffo going to be kids about.

A BMW 5 series? Is up my arse revving his twat engine and backing off and zooming up and weaving from side to side, occasionally going for an overtake (Despite oncoming traffic) and when the road is clear for about 5 seconds, he drops 3 gears and zooms past me reaching what seemed like 50 or 60 before slamming on and skidding manically at the roundabout before handbraking it around and zooming up the hill over the railway line (Narrowly missing a family that were til then attempting to cross to get to the shops)

[Jwils21]

Case in point today. Driving down a backroad which is a 20 and I'm driving at about 21ish as I know there are deffo going to be kids about.

A BMW 5 series? Is up my arse revving his twat engine and backing off and zooming up and weaving from side to side, occasionally going for an overtake (Despite oncoming traffic) and when the road is clear for about 5 seconds, he drops 3 gears and zooms past me reaching what seemed like 50 or 60 before slamming on and skidding manically at the roundabout before handbraking it around and zooming up the hill over the railway line (Narrowly missing a family that were til then attempting to cross to get to the shops)

Latest odds from SkyBet:

Drug Dealer - 15/2
Finance Professional - 2/1
Very small man - 1/600

[Tesco tearaway]

I was driving down the dock road today and there was an Audi in front of me.
Some times it was in the same lane as me, then sometimes it seemed to lurch across into the other lane.
We both pulled up at the red lights. I looked across at him with a wtf? look on my face.
He 'wound' his window down at the same time as me, and said "I'm sorry about that standard of driving."
Well I was so shocked by his admission I almost dropped my can of Stella and my spliff!

[Sarge]

BMW, that is all.

[Joff]

BMW, that is all.

racist

[I've been a good boy]

Higher spec VW Golf's. Usually with a private number plate and loud engine that's overcompensating for something

[Nobby Reserve]

Range Rover drivers have the highest prevalence of tossers driving them.

Few years ago, I was going east on the M56 near Helsby one late afternoon, just before rush hour but it was still busy. All three lanes full but moving; I'm in the outside one, which it going along at about 65, and I'm leaving a decent space between me and the car in front.

Range Rover, which has undertaken the car behind me, starts tailgating me, then flashing me. I wanted a sign to pop up in my back window to say "Where the fuck do you want me to go? We're in a line of traffic and we all would like to go a bit faster." but make do with an exasperated raising of the hands as if to say "WTF do you want me to do?"

That doesn't satisfy the tit and he carries on. Then when there's a bit of a gap in the middle lane, he launches himself into it to try to undertake me; to try to get one car further along a really long line. But he's pissed me off, so I close up to the car in front of me and he soon reaches the vehicle in front of him and isn't able to cut in front of me.

He's livid, waving his arms about; I'm fucking pleased with myself.

Sadly I have to come off at Runcorn, or I could have played with the twat for miles.


Another thing that gets me - and I used to see it amazingly often in Range Rovers - is people in cars that have Bluetooth still holding their phone to their ear on a call.

[rob1966]

Its a combination of a piss poor driving test, people being arrogant arseholes in cars and the need to buy a BMW or Audi by the same bunch.

Edit:- I drove like a twat in Cortinas and Capris and rode my bikes like I stole them when I were a lad

[stewil007]

I must admit having a Tesla does give me a lot of joy when at the lights and a BMW/Merc or Audi pulls up, revving their engine, knowing they want to prove something, and it usually is young-ish males (20 or 30's).

So when i pull away and leave them for dead, there is a small sense of satisfaction.

[ianburns252]

It goes both ways - for every prick of an audi driver there is an arsehole of a 206 boy racer.

You get a tonne of people who think they are "really good drivers" and so think they can drive faster or nip in and out of spaces because they are just such. a. good. driver.

The other type of shit driver is because they have left themselves far too little time to get to their destination so they are stressed and that so drive erratically.

Rob makes a great point that the driving test doesn't exactly teach real driving and that.

I know it doesn't fit the stereotypes but the car you drive doesn't make you a prick - these jokes are as outdated as the comedians who started them back in the 70s.

That said, I've never seen a twat driving a Honda Civic and that part of the reason why it is why it is the best damn car in the world

[rob1966]

I must admit having a Tesla does give me a lot of joy when at the lights and a BMW/Merc or Audi pulls up, revving their engine, knowing they want to prove something, and it usually is young-ish males (20 or 30's).

So when i pull away and leave them for dead, there is a small sense of satisfaction.

Till your battery goes flat

I've had the same on the bikes, they look at what they think is a small bike and decide they want a race. I hope your car can 0-60 in 2.7 secs, does 72 in 1st, 117 in 2nd and hit 100 in 5 secs then matey

[So… Howard Philips]

Latest odds from SkyBet:

Drug Dealer - 15/2
Finance Professional - 2/1
Very small man - 1/600

Drug dealer in the main, closely followed by wife driving husband’s over powered car.

[stewil007]

Till your battery goes flat

I've had the same on the bikes, they look at what they think is a small bike and decide they want a race. I hope your car can 0-60 in 2.7 secs, does 72 in 1st, 117 in 2nd and hit 100 in 5 secs then matey

I'll be honest when i first got the car, i would have raced anyone and yes, the battery would take a hit.  I tend to keep it in chill mode these days otherwise i'm just as bad as the people we're talking about in this discussion.

But having the option is always nice.

If i wanted , i could pay about £1500 to get the car upgraded to the performance level.......0-60 in 3.5 seconds, then i could really have some fun

[Barneylfc∗]

Case in point today. Driving down a backroad which is a 20 and I'm driving at about 21ish as I know there are deffo going to be kids about.

A BMW 5 series? Is up my arse revving his twat engine and backing off and zooming up and weaving from side to side, occasionally going for an overtake (Despite oncoming traffic) and when the road is clear for about 5 seconds, he drops 3 gears and zooms past me reaching what seemed like 50 or 60 before slamming on and skidding manically at the roundabout before handbraking it around and zooming up the hill over the railway line (Narrowly missing a family that were til then attempting to cross to get to the shops)

I'm impressed that you are able to tell a car behind you dropped 3 gears, went past you at 3 times your speed, hand braked round a roundabout went over a hill and a railway line, but you were still able to see them narrowly miss someone crossing a road.

[rob1966]

I'll be honest when i first got the car, i would have raced anyone and yes, the battery would take a hit.  I tend to keep it in chill mode these days otherwise i'm just as bad as the people we're talking about in this discussion.

But having the option is always nice.

If i wanted , i could pay about £1500 to get the car upgraded to the performance level.......0-60 in 3.5 seconds, then i could really have some fun

I now drive a 2.2 diesel, too old for the shenanigans now, although if I had a leccy car, i'd give it some welly for a bit just for a laugh, but would then revert back to the 55yr old driver I now am.

[Son of Spion]

BMW, that is all.

I see your BMW, and I raise you the Gobshite in an Audi.

[CraigDS]

I've yet to see a brand of car not driven by a twat at some point or other.

[Son of Spion]

I've yet to see a brand of car not driven by a twat at some point or other.

While that is undoubtedly true, the overwhelming number of horrendous driving incidents I've seen have involved our old friend the Audi driver. In Liverpool at least that might we'll be down to Audi being the brand of choice for pretty much every dodgy drug dealer who has graduated from BMX bike and now thinks he's made it in life.

[Ziltoid]

Most cars are driven by over confident twats and most driven by under confident twats

[afc tukrish]

Most cars are driven by over confident twats and most driven by under confident twats

Lot of twats driving cars, it would appear...

[Barneylfc∗]

https://www.nationalworld.com/lifestyle/cars/the-uks-most-accident-prone-cars-revealed-3227734

The Vauxhall Zafira has been named as the most accident-prone car in the country.

The family MPV was found to be involved in more accidents per 10,000 models than any other car, according to data from the Department for Transport

The figures show that while some other cars were involved in more accidents overall, Zafira drivers were more than twice as likely to be involved in a crash as owners of the country’s most popular models.



As the best-selling car in the country it’s not surprising that the Ford Fiesta was involved in more accidents than any other model. But with 1.5 million Fiestas on the road and 35,602 involved in a crash in the last five years, the supermini has an accident rate of 233 per 10,000.

In contrast, with just 236,269 examples on the roads and 12,076 reported accidents, the Zafira recorded an accident rate of 511 crashes per 10,000 cars, putting it at the top of the list of shame.

The Vauxhall Astra had the second highest accident rate, with 363 reported crashes per 10,000 cars, just ahead the Renault Clio (335) and Vauxhall Corsa (314), with the BMW 3 Series (297) rounding out the top five.



The figures were obtained by Rivervale Leasing, which measured reported accidents for each model against the number of that car registered in order to reflect the likelihood of it being involved in a crash, rather than just the raw number of accidents, which would be dominated by the most common cars.

The accident data for the period 2015-19 shows that by brand, Vauxhall had the highest accident rate per 10,000, at 335, just ahead of Renault with 334 and Peugeot with 304.

The data also revealed the brands with the lowest accident rates, which were mostly a mix of classics and supercars, both of which are likely to travel fewer miles than mainstream cars from the likes of Vauxhall or Ford.

Of the makes with more than 10,000 models registered, Morris recorded the lowest accident rate at 16 per 10,000, ahead of Austin on 26. Any suggestion that is because they spend more time being repaired than driven is pure mischief making.

Behind them Tesla (28), Ferrari (39) and Aston Martin (40) were also far less likely to be involved in a shunt or scrape.

[Ziltoid]

Lot of twats driving cars, it would appear...

Yep, everyone needs to get "somehwere" but at different rates. 

[Pistolero]

In Liverpool, if there's a car right up yer arse, or cutting you up, or not indicating, or tear-arsing through red lights, it'll frequently have a VW badge on it...

[ianburns252]

In Liverpool, if there's a car right up yer arse, or cutting you up, or not indicating, or tear-arsing through red lights, it'll frequently have a VW badge on it...

Or a Delta sticker on the side of it

[Pie Eyed]

I must admit having a Tesla does give me a lot of joy when at the lights and a BMW/Merc or Audi pulls up, revving their engine, knowing they want to prove something, and it usually is young-ish males (20 or 30's).

So when i pull away and leave them for dead, there is a small sense of satisfaction.

Same here.

My wife hates it (she's not a fan of the accelleration), but it never fails to put a grin on my face.

(And I don't even have the performance model - Just a Long-Range Model 3 - So it's doubly embarassing for them that they're pasted by a "standard" family car. 

[Pie Eyed]

I now drive a 2.2 diesel, too old for the shenanigans now, although if I had a leccy car, i'd give it some welly for a bit just for a laugh, but would then revert back to the 55yr old driver I now am.

I just came out of a Mercedes E300 into a Tesla Model 3.

The funny thing is, as I've got older, I've bought cars that are capable of higher speeds every time I change, but I also find that I don't feel the need to drive them at that speed and am actually driving closer to the speed limit now than I ever did before.

(It's just REALLY nice to have the ability to give it some welly if I need/want to).   

[Andy @ Allerton!]

I'm impressed that you are able to tell a car behind you dropped 3 gears, went past you at 3 times your speed, hand braked round a roundabout went over a hill and a railway line, but you were still able to see them narrowly miss someone crossing a road.

Greenhill Road (20mph limit and also you go past the Police Training Centre on Mather Avenue). South Liverpool. Driving towards South Parkway away from Booker Avenue. It goes ahead, then there is a mini roundabout. I clocked the family waiting to cross from the bit on Greenhill Road that goes over the Railway. He swerved past me. Slammed on. Took an immediate right and shot up Greenhill Road (up the hill) towards Brodie Avenue/Long Lane.

Pretty easy to see unless you're of a state where you probably, by law, shouldn't be driving a vehicle.

[rob1966]

I just came out of a Mercedes E300 into a Tesla Model 3.

The funny thing is, as I've got older, I've bought cars that are capable of higher speeds every time I change, but I also find that I don't feel the need to drive them at that speed and am actually driving closer to the speed limit now than I ever did before.

(It's just REALLY nice to have the ability to give it some welly if I need/want to).   

Modern cars just don't do it for me, the Teslas remind me of a Mondeo, but more boring and do not get me started on "SUVs", piles of shite. Leccy cars don't appeal anyway as the country isn't ready for them and I'm still not sure that digging massive holes in South America to extract lithium is that good an idea.

I get my kicks on bikes. The top speed of my last 5 bikes were 154mph, 186mph, 165mph, 165 mph and 178mph. Most I have seen on a speedo was just touching 170mph.

With having an HGV licence now, I behave when out on the bike now. i have got a driving day in June though at Elvington, Ferrari 430 and a Lamborghini LP560 Gallardo, they will be getting caned

[afc tukrish]

Most I have seen on a speedo was just touching 170mph.

Robs out for a ride...

[Pie Eyed]

I get my kicks on bikes. The top speed of my last 5 bikes were 154mph, 186mph, 165mph, 165 mph and 178mph. Most I have seen on a speedo was just touching 170mph.

With having an HGV licence now, I behave when out on the bike now. i have got a driving day in June though at Elvington, Ferrari 430 and a Lamborghini LP560 Gallardo, they will be getting caned

Love it.  Hope you have a great day.

I do miss my bikes - I didn't own a car for about 10 years, up to 2011 and owned bikes instead.

My last was a BMW R1150RT with the side pocket cut out for a DAB car stereo, with a massive whip aerial on the back and an in-helmet speaker/intercom setup.
Add to that the heated gloves for year-round riding to work (110m round trip each day) - I loved biking, but couldn't be without my creature comforts. 

[redbyrdz]

Its mostly because arseholes buy certain cars.

But also some cars offer more opportunities to drive badly. Lots of power available makes some things seem easy - quick overtake, just nip in before that car, etc. The posher cars are also very quiet and protected inside, so you don't feel high speeds and bad roads as much.

[nuts100]

Every fucking time I go out and there is some dickhead driving like a complete bellend with no respect for other road users, speeding like a twat, driving up your arse, swerving in front of you, forcing you to brake or speed up to avoid a crash, being unable to park, being unable to not hog the fucking road and being unable not to be an absolute fucking shithouse then 99% of the time it'll be a Jag or an Audi or a BMW or a Chelsea Tractor or a Porsche or suchlike.


Why are they so laughably shite at driving? Once you see the car, you immediately think 'Fuck me. What are these bastards going to do THIS time'

Maybe it’s you 😉

[rob1966]

Love it.  Hope you have a great day.

I do miss my bikes - I didn't own a car for about 10 years, up to 2011 and owned bikes instead.

My last was a BMW R1150RT with the side pocket cut out for a DAB car stereo, with a massive whip aerial on the back and an in-helmet speaker/intercom setup.
Add to that the heated gloves for year-round riding to work (110m round trip each day) - I loved biking, but couldn't be without my creature comforts. 

Sounds ace that, one day I MIGHT get a Goldwing

I've only got a car as the wife didn't like me commuting on the bike, so her Dad got me a car for Christmas.I was commuting on an R1 for about 3 years or more and she hated it.

I wrote off a Capri when I was 22, I had a 350LC at the time, swapped that for a GPZ900RR, then swapped that for a ZZR1100D1 95, then got a FireBlade in 1996 which got nicked in 97. Used my then GF's car for ages then got a Cavalier SRi when I was 30, blew that up, got a Sapphire Ghia, converted that to LPG, then a written off Mondeo with 63k on it, fixed that, swapped LPG onto it and put almost 100k on it before selling it to our kid in 09. 2005 bought another FireBlade and 2007 as I was getting married and we were having kids I used some money my Mum left to buy the R1. The Blade and R1 are worth about £13k between them now.

I'll tell you who are the worst drivers these days, young women. They are fucking clueless, almost been hit on a pedestrian crossing about 5 times in the last few months, every time a stupid bitch, a few times on the phone. Also, when driving the truck, I see well more women on phones than men. Never a cop car about though

[nuts100]

Sounds ace that, one day I MIGHT get a Goldwing

I've only got a car as the wife didn't like me commuting on the bike, so her Dad got me a car for Christmas.I was commuting on an R1 for about 3 years or more and she hated it.

I wrote off a Capri when I was 22, I had a 350LC at the time, swapped that for a GPZ900RR, then swapped that for a ZZR1100D1 95, then got a FireBlade in 1996 which got nicked in 97. Used my then GF's car for ages then got a Cavalier SRi when I was 30, blew that up, got a Sapphire Ghia, converted that to LPG, then a written off Mondeo with 63k on it, fixed that, swapped LPG onto it and put almost 100k on it before selling it to our kid in 09. 2005 bought another FireBlade and 2007 as I was getting married and we were having kids I used some money my Mum left to buy the R1. The Blade and R1 are worth about £13k between them now.

I'll tell you who are the worst drivers these days, young women. They are fucking clueless, almost been hit on a pedestrian crossing about 5 times in the last few months, every time a stupid bitch, a few times on the phone. Also, when driving the truck, I see well more women on phones than men. Never a cop car about though

In the US it's mainly soccer moms
Phone - starbucks - makeup - toy dog on lap - doing hair - watching kids
It's fucking impressive as I can only do one thing at once TBF 

[nuts100]

While that is undoubtedly true, the overwhelming number of horrendous driving incidents I've seen have involved our old friend the Audi driver. In Liverpool at least that might we'll be down to Audi being the brand of choice for pretty much every dodgy drug dealer who has graduated from BMX bike and now thinks he's made it in life.

Audi S3 is the choice of the drug dealer. AWD and quick.
Been watching cops in the north on BritBox and it's all Audi S3's.

Until recently bmw's are shit in the wet - now they have xdrive so it may change

[rob1966]

In the US it's mainly soccer moms
Phone - starbucks - makeup - toy dog on lap - doing hair - watching kids
It's fucking impressive as I can only do one thing at once TBF 

Women do brag about multi-tasking

I was once overtaken at 90mph by a BMW, the woman driver was busy putting mascara on as she flew past.

Our kid was once trying to move from lane 1 to lane 2 on the M40 at Warwick to let another truck join from the services. Car next to him wouldn't move, so he drifted a touch to show the driver to move, the driver yanked the wheel to the right, slammed into the central reservation, spun across 3 lanes in front of him and the woman still had the phone clamped to her ear

[rob1966]

Audi S3 is the choice of the drug dealer. AWD and quick.
Been watching cops in the north on BritBox and it's all Audi S3's.

Until recently bmw's are shit in the wet - now they have xdrive so it may change

Loads of S3 and RS3 get nicked for just that reason, make a great get away car

[nuts100]

Loads of S3 and RS3 get nicked for just that reason, make a great get away car

Stupidly capable cars
The RS is fucking mental