Topic: Struggling with depression

[dimwit]

If you've been diagnosed with ADD, have you read about rejection sensitivity dysphoria?

I had not. This seems a discussion I need to bring up with my therapist, or with my doctor.

cheers

[fridgepants]

It was really eye-opening for me, apparently that feeling of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop is just the lack of dopamine making my brain into an idiot and not because of actual bad things waiting to happen.

[PeterJM]

Well what a past week i've had. My dad was rushed into Aintree Hospital last Friday after i found him collapsed on his living room floor and was critical for 48 hours, i was shown to the relatives room and given the no resuscitation talk due to his age by the doctors. I've never felt so overwhelmed in that room, a rollercoaster of emotions engulfing me and i was on my own trying to take it all in.

I've had a lot of time to dwell on what happened this past week due to lack of sleep and not being able to concentrate on work. God knows how i carry on now but i've got to find a way.

He's on the mend now but still suffering from delirium which is not nice to see. It's not nice seeing either of your parents in a vulnerable state however likely that is at some point in their lives. I had to type this as a form of therapy as there's not many people i can rant at.

[jackh]

I've been battling with depression and anxiety for the past twenty years. I've shared some of the issues here, when I've been well enough to do so.
Not as freqently as I feel I should have.

Since this january, I was diagnosed with add, which actually makes alot of sence. My medication was adjusted as such.

Hope you'll excuse me cutting some of your post, dimwit - just quoting to let you know that I started a thread on ADD/ADHD last year, and there might be some useful bits in there: https://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=354342.0

If you've been diagnosed with ADD, have you read about rejection sensitivity dysphoria?

I picked up on RSD whilst listening to the corresponding episode of the Adult ADHD podcast a while ago, and it made a lot of sense to me. I'll pop a link in the other thread.

[Son of Spion]

Well what a past week i've had. My dad was rushed into Aintree Hospital last Friday ...

That's awful, Peter. I'm sorry to hear it. Such a difficult trauma to process. I hope typing it out helped you in some way.

I'm glad your dad is now on the mend. Hopefully he makes a very good recovery. You don't mention what caused this medical episode, but I hope it's something than can be treated effectively.

Take care of yourself, and all the very best to your dad.

[duvva 💅]

Well what a past week i've had. My dad was rushed into Aintree Hospital last Friday after i found him collapsed on his living room floor and was critical for 48 hours, i was shown to the relatives room and given the no resuscitation talk due to his age by the doctors. I've never felt so overwhelmed in that room, a rollercoaster of emotions engulfing me and i was on my own trying to take it all in.

I've had a lot of time to dwell on what happened this past week due to lack of sleep and not being able to concentrate on work. God knows how i carry on now but i've got to find a way.

He's on the mend now but still suffering from delirium which is not nice to see. It's not nice seeing either of your parents in a vulnerable state however likely that is at some point in their lives. I had to type this as a form of therapy as there's not many people i can rant at.

Sorry to hear this Peter. Hope your dad makes a good recovery

[PeterJM]

That's awful, Peter. I'm sorry to hear it. Such a difficult trauma to process. I hope typing it out helped you in some way.

I'm glad your dad is now on the mend. Hopefully he makes a very good recovery. You don't mention what caused this medical episode, but I hope it's something than can be treated effectively.

Take care of yourself, and all the very best to your dad.

I'm not sure what caused him to collapse but he was found to have a water infection caused by previously undiagnosed kidney problems and a high potassium reading so was at an increased risk of a heart attack.He's been suffering with delirium so doesn't remember anything of the collapse or the first few days in hospital.

[Son of Spion]

I'm not sure what caused him to collapse but he was found to have a water infection caused by previously undiagnosed kidney problems and a high potassium reading so was at an increased risk of a heart attack.He's been suffering with delirium so doesn't remember anything of the collapse or the first few days in hospital.

Water infection did cross my mind going by what you said earlier. I used to be an outreach care worker and I've seen what water infections can do.

All the best to your Dad. A worrying time for you. Take care of yourself. Let us know how he gets on if you will.

[fridgepants]

Sorry to hear that, it must have been traumatic to find him never mind what came next.  is it something that might be alleviated if they sort the infection out?

[LuverlyRita]

I'm not sure what caused him to collapse but he was found to have a water infection caused by previously undiagnosed kidney problems and a high potassium reading so was at an increased risk of a heart attack.He's been suffering with delirium so doesn't remember anything of the collapse or the first few days in hospital.

Urinary tract infections can cause terrible hallucinations. The problem with getting UTIs diagnosed in the elderly is that those halluciations are often assumed to be dementia and if nothing is done, a UTI can develop into Sepsis - which can be fatal.

[PeterJM]

Sorry to hear that, it must have been traumatic to find him never mind what came next.  is it something that might be alleviated if they sort the infection out?

It's started to ease over the last couple of  days and is nowhere near as bad as the first few days after he was admitted to hospital. He was suffering with major confusion, he didn't know where he was, got family members names wrong, he thought he was still working even though he's been retired for 15+ years, asked me why i never took the dog into see him. It just crazy to experience and also very worrying.

Urinary tract infections can cause terrible hallucinations. The problem with getting UTIs diagnosed in the elderly is that those halluciations are often assumed to be dementia and if nothing is done, a UTI can develop into Sepsis - which can be fatal.

The collapse was what hospitalised him, the hallucinations and confusion only started after they began treating him so they classed it as delirium. A very bizarre week all round.

[ToneLa]

all the best to you PeterJM, sounds a scary and confusing thing to happen. hopefully now a couple days on it's looking ever better...?
x

[PeterJM]

all the best to you PeterJM, sounds a scary and confusing thing to happen. hopefully now a couple days on it's looking ever better...?
x

Cheers Tone.

Things are starting to look a bit brighter but it’s starting to take its toll on me with the decisions I’m being asked to make as I’m his next of kin.I wish my siblings would step up and take some of the weight off me but that’s wishful thinking on my part. I can’t think straight at the moment but there’s much more I need to get off my chest.

[ToneLa]

Cheers Tone.

Things are starting to look a bit brighter but it’s starting to take its toll on me with the decisions I’m being asked to make as I’m his next of kin.I wish my siblings would step up and take some of the weight off me but that’s wishful thinking on my part. I can’t think straight at the moment but there’s much more I need to get off my chest.

Bless you


I went  through similar, minding my dad in the pandemic. My sisters seemed to be in denial.. and most of the time they weren't allowed to take him off my hands anyway

I've been there. It's shite isn't it mate.

Do voice your needs to your siblings - even if you doubt they will do owt - give them a chance. If they let you down, well, least you tried. You never know, maybe they're struggling to process this - some people just vanish outright mentally when the going gets tough.

You're there though, in the thick of it. You deserve a lot of respect for it.

Stay in there, use this thread, I can tell you from experience you can sound off with aaaaannything . .. . this thread can absorb it. You need to take care of you, ysee. I'm sure your dad'll come through this - the earliest symptoms, reading back, just screamed "infection" to me. It's just, I don't envy you, it's a shite place to be, not knowing, being someone's rock, worrying, with a loved one in danger.

Youll come through it. Not making any rash promises here; it might be shit, it might do your head in, it is a shit time. But time proceeds, and how you act here, you'll remember it.

Siblings are a fuckin funny lot at the best of times but you will be able to look back on your own actions here and know you did right. Your dad will appreciate it.

Keep going mate. Sleep when you can. Be good to yourself. But by the same token - don't waste your own time if you feel you could do more, or blame, or playing What If. You're only human.

You're amongst friends here. I'll be looking in. PM me if you ever need to
x

[fridgepants]

Hope you're doing OK, PeterJM. I'm just an internet loser but for what it's worth I hope you're managing with things a little better now.

(I've been feeling really shite for a couple of weeks, feels self-indulgent to talk about it really when things are relatively easy compared with others, but I just wanted to post in case it helped to know someone was thinking of you.)

[ToneLa]

Cremated my father today

Fuck that was hard. But... feeling good (grief is there, but I'm just letting it happen)

I wrote and performed his eulogy. Went down very well

Third time I've done a eulogy actually, fuckin hell

--

OK, so
if you're in this thread and you're aware of the sheer volume of depressing shit I've dealt with over the years

The good news, you can get through it

YNWA was the walking out song. So, another tight knot for me tying me to this club. Was already used at my mother's too, so it has resonance

And the most important thing about YNWA?

the words are true

[Son of Spion]

I'm not sure if can find adequate words, Tone, so I'll just offer a RAWK hug. ♥️

Take care of yourself.

[PeterJM]

Tone,I can only echo SoS's response.❤️

You know we're all here if you want to talk.

[John C]

Cremated my father today

Fuck that was hard. But... feeling good (grief is there, but I'm just letting it happen)

Bless you mate, it's fucking tough isn't it.

[Kenny's Jacket]

Cremated my father today

Fuck that was hard. But... feeling good (grief is there, but I'm just letting it happen)

I wrote and performed his eulogy. Went down very well

Third time I've done a eulogy actually, fuckin hell

--

OK, so
if you're in this thread and you're aware of the sheer volume of depressing shit I've dealt with over the years

The good news, you can get through it

YNWA was the walking out song. So, another tight knot for me tying me to this club. Was already used at my mother's too, so it has resonance

And the most important thing about YNWA?

the words are true

All the best Tone x

[jason42]

Cremated my father today

Fuck that was hard. But... feeling good (grief is there, but I'm just letting it happen)

I wrote and performed his eulogy. Went down very well

Third time I've done a eulogy actually, fuckin hell

--

OK, so
if you're in this thread and you're aware of the sheer volume of depressing shit I've dealt with over the years

The good news, you can get through it

YNWA was the walking out song. So, another tight knot for me tying me to this club. Was already used at my mother's too, so it has resonance

And the most important thing about YNWA?

the words are true

YNWA mate.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Cremated my father today

Fuck that was hard. But... feeling good (grief is there, but I'm just letting it happen)

I wrote and performed his eulogy. Went down very well

Third time I've done a eulogy actually, fuckin hell

--

OK, so
if you're in this thread and you're aware of the sheer volume of depressing shit I've dealt with over the years

The good news, you can get through it

YNWA was the walking out song. So, another tight knot for me tying me to this club. Was already used at my mother's too, so it has resonance

And the most important thing about YNWA?

the words are true

So sorry to hear that. YNWA.

Been a fucking horrendus week here as well. Two funerals next week and my little best mate has got terminal cancer and weeks to live. We've had him for 17 years, so he's had a good innings, but still shite.

[Crosby Nick]

Take care Tone.

[fridgepants]

Sorry for your loss, Tone. I hope you at least got to remember some good times at the wake afterwards.

[AlphaDelta]

Sorry to hear this Tone x

I don't know about the rest of you, but I was sat here thinking the other day how much of a journey life is. You go from being young (20's) and going to wedding's, Christenings, to suddenly being in your mid-40's and its all funerals.

[fridgepants]

I'm 42 and have had three so far, but then my grandparents died before I was born (although I feel like children didn't really get invited to funerals back then - I wasn't asked to go to my mum's brother's and actually don't think I ever even met him...). Still never been on a stag/hen party in my life so we'll see what happens if my coupled-up friends actually do decide to get married at some point...

My friends had their daughter in their late 30s so their 40s have mainly been children's birthday parties so far! I've thought about this a bit too, how when you're younger you have more 'stages' in life, each school year can feel like a big change, maybe university or college, then starting work....and then the years tend to be more or less the same, it's just events that change things and few of them for the good. Asked a friend with kids if it feels like that for her or whether the different stages of their lives feel like different stages of yours, kind of growing up with them if you like, but she said she never really thought of it that way.

[Crosby Nick]

Sorry to hear this Tone x

I don't know about the rest of you, but I was sat here thinking the other day how much of a journey life is. You go from being young (20's) and going to wedding's, Christenings, to suddenly being in your mid-40's and its all funerals.

I’m going to my first wedding in about 7 years later this year…for a mate whose first wife died. The only previous funerals I’d been to before that was for grandparents and older relatives, that one was horrible.

[Black Bull Nova]

I’m going to my first wedding in about 7 years later this year…for a mate whose first wife died. The only previous funerals I’d been to before that was for grandparents and older relatives, that one was horrible.

I had a friend who lost 2 wives in about 14 years, 3 kids effectively lost 2 mothers, the one that had them as toddlers and the one that brought them up. He told me he went for counselling and his counsellor ended up crying.

[Crosby Nick]

I had a friend who lost 2 wives in about 14 years, 3 kids effectively lost 2 mothers, the one that had them as toddlers and the one that brought them up. He told me he went for counselling and his counsellor ended up crying.

Oof. That’s shocking.