Topic: Wedding Preparation Advice

[Tesco tearaway]

Check with your best man and your wife to be's father that they have written down a proper speech.
I went to one wedding a couple a couple of years ago and two of the three speech's were hilariously bad 
The brides father's speech was great.
He praised the Son-in-law, his parents, the choice of venue, made a few jokes, and got a bit sentimental at the end; It went down a storm.
The best mans speech was small phrases written on 3 flash cards; and he forgot what the phrases were meant to remind him of 
The groom was pissed as a fart by the time he gave his speech.
He did it off the cuff, and it consisted of him telling everyone that he 'fucking loved them' and rambling incoherently.
His mother was purple with rage 

[Shankly998]

I think a couple of small-medium glasses per person (+1 glass of sparkling wine for the toast and/or arrival at the reception, fruit juice for the non drinkers) is more than generous.  There’ll be people who don’t drink, there’ll be people who will prefer a beer or other option from the bar, and people who won’t want to drink that much, so it should even itself out and be plenty.

Ultimately you’re paying for their dinner and a couple of free drinks, so don’t bankrupt yourself on the booze. The freeloading bastards can get their own if they want to get completely wrecked!

Thanks they'll get some free wine on their table but they definitely aren't getting a free bar as well!

[Shankly998]

From the bride's side of things and a hairdresser find out about rooms to get ready in if you're staying at the venue the night before.

Trying to squeeze the bride and maids plus mums, nans etc along with stylists, makeup artists, all our kit plus a photographer into a standard sized hotel bedroom doesn't work.


The best ones will offer a large room with tables, chairs and at least 2 windows for us to have natural light to work in.  It's also a good idea to have breakfasts with tea and coffee brought to the room as some weddings we're there from 5am and get very grouchy if we've not had loads of caffeine and bacon butties 😁 oh and plenty of plug sockets or a long cabled, four socket extension.

If you're staying the night before you'll usually only have access to your rooms from 12pm, sometimes later so make sure there's somewhere secure to leave all your overnight luggage depending on the time of the service.

Good advice I will definitely ask about this

[UntouchableLuis]

Check with your best man and your wife to be's father that they have written down a proper speech.
I went to one wedding a couple a couple of years ago and two of the three speech's were hilariously bad 
The brides father's speech was great.
He praised the Son-in-law, his parents, the choice of venue, made a few jokes, and got a bit sentimental at the end; It went down a storm.
The best mans speech was small phrases written on 3 flash cards; and he forgot what the phrases were meant to remind him of 
The groom was pissed as a fart by the time he gave his speech.
He did it off the cuff, and it consisted of him telling everyone that he 'fucking loved them' and rambling incoherently.
His mother was purple with rage 

I'm dreading the speech to be fair. Although I'm a teacher I find public speaking to adults a big challenge! It's a hard thing to do a speech I think, especially for quietish people.

[Crosby Nick]

I'm dreading the speech to be fair. Although I'm a teacher I find public speaking to adults a big challenge! It's a hard thing to do a speech I think, especially for quietish people.

Speech is quite enjoyable...As a groom it’s easy as everyone’s rooting for you. As a Best Man it can be tricky if you don’t know too many guests but I was my brother’s so just made sure I had some cheap laughs at his and my dad’s expense. Get the first laugh and it gets easier.

As a groom it’s probably most important to make sure you thank the right people and practice the nice bits you want to say about your wife! That’s the one bit I got a bit tongue tied on so while everyone else said my speech was good and funny, she’ll remind me of that from time to time!

[Riquende]

I felt really bad for the best man at my cousin's wedding (it was the groom's brother). He was obviously so uncomfortable speaking publicly, he was hiding behind his cue cards, stumbling over the words and visibly sweating at the ordeal. It was also mostly a dry wedding (the family aren't big drinkers and had chosen a remote venue that everyone had to drive to) so he didn't have the benefit of loads of pissed-up guests ready to get on board. Mercifully (for everyone) it was short.

[liverbloke]

I'm dreading the speech to be fair. Although I'm a teacher I find public speaking to adults a big challenge! It's a hard thing to do a speech I think, especially for quietish people.

i've done 3 and also a few eulogies and i'm a pretty confident person but you'll still get nervous BUT when you're nervous people are straight away on your side and rooting for you as NICK says

my advice is - especially if you are quiet and nervous - take your speech written down (and in clear writing) with you and don't worry about holding it and reading it out as long as you engage with the audience

now you might get more nervous looking at all those people so another bit of advice is to focus on 3 parts of the room that have no people in or no faces (if you see what i mean) as people will still think you're looking at someone

definitely have at least 2 jokes and open with your best - if it falls flat you can always make a joke of it 'tough crowd in here tonight - and it's my own family and they usually laugh at anything' or 'well, i'm glad she's not marrying a comedian' or 'well, the groom told me that one so that's another thing he has to improve on' you get the idea

a visual joke can work too - one speech i made i had a note pad to refer to and i said to the crowd 'just a few notes for my speech' as i then released the rear of the pad letting a ream of attached pages fall to the floor in front of the table

and make sure to BE fucking soppy - too many speeches are just a good laugh but if you touch the heartstrings then that will 'get' people

last thing - have a drink OF WATER by you at all times and cough a couple of times before starting as this will clear your throat

[Kekule]

I'm dreading the speech to be fair. Although I'm a teacher I find public speaking to adults a big challenge! It's a hard thing to do a speech I think, especially for quietish people.

I was/am the same. You can always do what we did, break with tradition and do the speeches before the meal, not after.  The speakers will have had maybe one drink to loosen them up, but won’t be sloshed and end up rambling, slurring or just flat out forgetting.  The attendees won’t be pissed and so will be less likely to shout out unfunny shit or try to heckle the speaker and throw them off their rhythm.  It also keeps the length of them down a bit as everyone is hungry, and the staff will want to serve on time.

Finally it’ll be done before you eat so you’ll get to enjoy the meal instead of worrying about your speech, or what the best man is going to say.  It gives the guests at the table something to talk about as well, as they  can elaborate/reminisce on the appropriate stories (or the stories that were left out) for anyone who wasn’t there or don’t know one of principles that well.

[Crosby Nick]

Speeches before you eat seem to be done more and I can see why. As you say, everyone can relax and enjoy the meal! When I was Best Man, the father of the bride did his before we ate, the big shit house but I wasn’t told that was happening, so still had to sit through the meal stressing about my speech.

[Ray K]

As a groom it’s probably most important to make sure you thank the right people and practice the nice bits you want to say about your wife! That’s the one bit I got a bit tongue tied on so while everyone else said my speech was good and funny, she’ll remind me of that from time to time!

Friend of mine was doing great with his speech - thanking his in-laws and how welcome he always felt there, talking about how nice the bridesmaids were, thanking his own family, etc - and completely forgetting to mention his bride 

Ten years on and she still makes fun of him for it. He says he can never, ever win an argument with her because of it 

[Crosby Nick]

Friend of mine was doing great with his speech - thanking his in-laws and how welcome he always felt there, talking about how nice the bridesmaids were, thanking his own family, etc - and completely forgetting to mention his bride 

Ten years on and she still makes fun of him for it. He says he can never, ever win an argument with her because of it 

We’re you at my wedding?

I did remember her in fairness! Just didn’t quite articulate what I wanted to say so well.

[reddebs]

At my sister's wedding she didn't want loads of formalities mainly because her in-laws did, so my dad kept interrupting everything with stupid toasts.

Please be upstanding for the vicar, the coach driver, the horses, the bar staff, his staff, his ex staff, his school mates, his army mates, anyone who wasn't there etc etc.

He did it before the meal, whilst we were eating, in between courses.  They were mortified but everyone else understood and thought it was hilarious.

[moondog]

Make sure you get the right music for the first dance. We had “Ain’t Nobody”, can never fault Chaka Khan.
Also whilst my speech was ok, my mrs belted out “Every time we say goodbye” on the mic (with music) , never to be forgotten. Plus we had a mate DJ rather than Dave Doubledecks recommended by the venue so had a great soundtrack instead of the usual wedding fodder. Inbetween the clash, white lines and fight for your right to party, he did still have to play Simply the best for my ma though!

[thejbs]

I'm a wedding photographer and have been to hundreds of weddings over the past 11 years.  We have some tips up on our website. Some may be of use to you. https://www.simpletapestry.com/wedding-planning-tips

This post, on breaking traditions, is the most popular with our couples: https://www.simpletapestry.com/wedding-photography-blog/2018/3/12/breaking-traditions

[paulrazor]

We went for 3 bottles of wine per table for the sit down meal/afternoon, any not drunk then will be consumed during the evening.

For your night do, don't cater for everyone who will be turning up, you'll end up with loads of wasted food, the venue should be able to advise on that.

good advice on grub.

We laid on a bit for mine. Was that busy I never got near it

Anyway plan well in advance. Prepare for some to let you down.

Once you get the venue it'll fall into place. Make sure you get a good band and DJ

Meal wise with drink usually where I'm from (Northern Ireland) it's two glasses per person plus maybe a toast drink

Just go with prosecco. I wouldn't bother offering everyone a drink of choice as uncle knobhead usually will want a treble whiskey cos he's too mean to buy one

Try book everything well in advance. Keep it small if you want. Personally I'd book the night after In The hotel to stay.

Do you really want to be checking out shattered at 11am next day?  Don't even if everyone is gone home.

Make sure you get a good break and honeymoon after

[paulrazor]

As for stag disasters I can't match some here but first one I went on the best man.......  Well more like worst man

Gobshite didn't do a thing for the wedding. Think he even no showed a suit fitting. Useless c*nt. Anyway we were all warned a million times not under any circumstances to do stuff like shave the groom's eyebrows or hair etc

Of course the worst man goes and does exactly that.

Next day groom to be sacked him as best man hahaha. Proper order. He hadn't done a tap for the wedding and he shows up to thebstag and does that

[Damo58]

The anxiety around our wedding is killing me. I'm quite an anxious person anyway but this is taking over.

We were initially due to get married in early June so when the new roadmap came out saying about the 21st June we contacted the venue and they could only do 16th July or November. We didn't want to risk another winter lockdown so went with 16th July. Obviously we knew the risks blah blah and we're not massively bothered whether we have a 30 limit or open ended numbers but the not knowing is killing me. We're at the stage where we need to be tying up loose ends but they are all number dependent. It should be a fun time this part, looking forward to the big day and doing fun stuff towards it but it's fucking miserable.

[Buck Pete]

We’re you at my wedding?

Was this guy spinning the discs at yours Nick?

[UntouchableLuis]

The anxiety around our wedding is killing me. I'm quite an anxious person anyway but this is taking over.

We were initially due to get married in early June so when the new roadmap came out saying about the 21st June we contacted the venue and they could only do 16th July or November. We didn't want to risk another winter lockdown so went with 16th July. Obviously we knew the risks blah blah and we're not massively bothered whether we have a 30 limit or open ended numbers but the not knowing is killing me. We're at the stage where we need to be tying up loose ends but they are all number dependent. It should be a fun time this part, looking forward to the big day and doing fun stuff towards it but it's fucking miserable.

I have sympathy for anyone getting married this year. If you're happy to have 30 then that's a bonus. Many will not be able to cut out that many people should the roadmap not be lifted but dates will be mostly booked up for the next 15 months or so now.

[Damo58]

I have sympathy for anyone getting married this year. If you're happy to have 30 then that's a bonus. Many will not be able to cut out that many people should the roadmap not be lifted but dates will be mostly booked up for the next 15 months or so now.

It's not so much happy with 30 but we accept that if you're getting married around this time it may have to be so we're rational. We're just at weird phase where we have to plan for 80 in the day as it might happen so silly things like favours, amount of alcohol, stuff we're ordering from suppliers that can't be refunded. The deeper we're planning the more anxiety inducing it is. Plus we're booking stuff for the evening guests, none of which may be needed.

I think there's an announcement on the 14th when we should know either way. 

[rob1966]

I have sympathy for anyone getting married this year. If you're happy to have 30 then that's a bonus. Many will not be able to cut out that many people should the roadmap not be lifted but dates will be mostly booked up for the next 15 months or so now.

My Sister in Law got married last Saturday, there was only 14 of us there. It was OK, but with no night do did seem a bit weird, ended up with 8 people in our garden. She was a credit to her Ma though, she was fucking shitfaced by half 7 and could barely stand up, never mind walk, by 10.

[Tesco tearaway]

My Sister in Law got married last Saturday, there was only 14 of us there. It was OK, but with no night do did seem a bit weird, ended up with 8 people in our garden. She was a credit to her Ma though, she was fucking shitfaced by half 7 and could barely stand up, never mind walk, by 10.

Runs in the family hey mate? 

[rob1966]

Runs in the family hey mate? 

Oh aye