Minute by minute breakdown
Kickoff!
02 Axa backgrounds look nice and clean. Probably given a good wash by the staff.
04 The grass is pretty green. After a long season, the green-ness is nice
07 The grass isn’t just pretty and green, it’s kind of in green squares
08 PENALTY!! No sorry, that was a bird flying over and burping. Easy mistake to make
17 Thunk! Bonk! Clunk! All sounds that the ball made when kicked by various boots
19 Hello to Evertonians everywhere!! WHAT a season you’re all having #jealous. All those cups!
22 Some people running up and down. How exciting!
29 Couple of smart saves from the lad. Pow! Pow! Pow!! Pow!!! Gerrin
30 MANE! Pow! Pow!! Pew!! pew! Pew!! Bazinga. And indeed... Pow!
31 Probably the best beer in the World? I think we’ll have to agree to disagree.
32 How Green is Your Valley was actually a film produced by the Boom Town Rats going back in time in a 2CV
33 No dives. If only we had a Richarlson to hit the deck and then roll 132 times and end up in Widnes
34 Kevin Friend is a knobhead. Nothing he’s done in this game, he’s just a knobhead
34 ‘Fuck off Ref’ - is the cry and you can see why. Liverpool players grabbed all over and ignored. He’s a massive tit
35 No chance for top four and not really arsed. Only disappointing that we can’t end up Everton and gib Europe next season
35 A flurry of shots from the Reds. Pow! Pow! Pow! But thwarted! Gadzooks!
36 That Forrester lad was always a good option in ‘Championship Manager’
37 It’s a little known fact that ants can’t play the banjo. Their legs are too small and they have no hands. Obvious really.
38 Bullshit decision is no surprise, I’m amazed that Friend is competant enough to put his referee kit on before games
39 .. Probably gets his mum to do it before licking a hankie and wiping shit off his head
40 Manchester City. Ha ha ha
41 Consider the Lily.. Friend is such a genuine gobshite. I’d like it if someone did a Walcott -> Milner on Walcott. Be nice.
42 Friends will be Friends. Unless they are Friend. Then they aren’t.
43 Never pay a cat to look after a fish. For he will play cards with it and steal all its biscuits.
44 Sonneborn? What’s that then when it’s at home? Allison - the man from Del Monte! He saves! Boss the saves! The saves!
45 Carlsberg - Cheers to the Best fans in the world! Cheers Carlsberg
46 Carrots can be dangerous when cornered.
47 Peep peep peep! Bo is off his head on Stella and Absinthe.