Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[AndyInVA]

Milk and crisps, I think you need professional help Andy  .

Haha. It is just a way to break the cycle. I don't want just plain water and I don't want nasty fizzy pop shite. So milk it is. I want something fun to look forward to at the end of the night that is not booze, so fatty crisps do the trick.

It is better than washing sleeping pills down with red wine.

[Mumm-Ra]

Haha. It is just a way to break the cycle. I don't want just plain water and I don't want nasty fizzy pop shite. So milk it is. I want something fun to look forward to at the end of the night that is not booze, so fatty crisps do the trick.

It is better than washing sleeping pills down with red wine.

Nothing wrong with the milk its just the combination with crisps that's thrown me off 

Milk and cookies are my late night guilty pleasure

[So… Howard Philips]

Haha. It is just a way to break the cycle. I don't want just plain water and I don't want nasty fizzy pop shite. So milk it is. I want something fun to look forward to at the end of the night that is not booze, so fatty crisps do the trick.

It is better than washing sleeping pills down with red wine.

Breaking the cycle is probably the most important thing to do.

I've stopped having a glass or two when cooking, a glass two when eating (just water) and have a really good bottle  of wine over a couple of nights.

I used to drink watching the match on TV but stopped that after one hangover too many. Mind you could have done with something during Red Star away, but there you go.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

I've been hitting the gym pretty hard after the summer holiday until I got myself injured and had to stop for appr. 6 weeks. During that time I managed to slip right back into my old patterns of using every "occasion" imaginable to have a celebratory drink (beer). I didn't go all the way back to being a c*nt to my family but I did reach the point where I found myself downing 2-3 beers in one go to get the buzz without my family knowing anything about it.

I'm now back in the gym and the funny thing is as soon as I started training again the craving for alcohol disappeared almost instantly. I have a concert coming up on Saturday with 3 mates and drinks usually flow when I'm in their company but "luckily" I have an infected tooth that needs penicillin and that particular kind of penicillin acts as Antabus when you drink alcohol so it's very easy for me to say no.

I really thought I had my alcohol under control but it's a c*nt if you're not really on top of your game all the time. Thankfully I can keep my cravings in check by going to the gym.

It's great to hear you're doing good, Andy!

[AndyInVA]

I've been hitting the gym pretty hard after the summer holiday until I got myself injured and had to stop for appr. 6 weeks. During that time I managed to slip right back into my old patterns of using every "occasion" imaginable to have a celebratory drink (beer). I didn't go all the way back to being a c*nt to my family but I did reach the point where I found myself downing 2-3 beers in one go to get the buzz without my family knowing anything about it.

I'm now back in the gym and the funny thing is as soon as I started training again the craving for alcohol disappeared almost instantly. I have a concert coming up on Saturday with 3 mates and drinks usually flow when I'm in their company but "luckily" I have an infected tooth that needs penicillin and that particular kind of penicillin acts as Antabus when you drink alcohol so it's very easy for me to say no.

I really thought I had my alcohol under control but it's a c*nt if you're not really on top of your game all the time. Thankfully I can keep my cravings in check by going to the gym.

It's great to hear you're doing good, Andy!

I had a similar story of 'controlling it', right up to the point of not controlling it at all and for me I was a bit of a dick to the people around me.

It's nice to know that I am not where I was five years ago, but also realize that it is very hard or almost impossible to have a few beers now and then and things be mostly OK. But I have enough of a problem that even though things can seem ok, it doesnt take much to drink too much and be an absolute tool when I do let things go.

I'm really glad to hear the injury is over and that much needed distraction is available again and the desire to drink just dissappears. It does show that the hard work you have done to reach that point and remove the psychological dependency has gone.

[damomad]

I have some friends who get it, I can easily have a couple with and that's it.

Then I have others who only ever want to do stuff involving alcohol and would be insulted if I suggested otherwise, or offended if I said I'll sit over one tonight.

I find myself saying no to hanging out with the latter more now, which is sad because I love them but they aren't good for me.

[Sudden Death Draft Loser]

I have some friends who get it, I can easily have a couple with and that's it.

Then I have others who only ever want to do stuff involving alcohol and would be insulted if I suggested otherwise, or offended if I said I'll sit over one tonight.

I find myself saying no to hanging out with the latter more now, which is sad because I love them but they aren't good for me.

Alcohol - the only drug that people try to pressurize you into taking. I gave up about four and a half years ago. It took most of my mates about three years to stop asking me if i wanted a drink. 

[bam09]

What are some activities people have taken up, or methods people have used to potentially make new friends? Long story short, I'm a mid-20s male who's only ever had friends that drink, often to excess, and pretty much all of my social life evolved around the sauce. I decided to quit drinking after noticing some troubling patterns, and haven't had a drop for almost 3 months. I've become physically much fitter having taken to the gym and becoming a passable squash player, but my social life is almost non-existent now. I love my friends to bits, but feel as though I fit in less and enjoy myself less -especially as the night grows older. I don't regret making this decision, and feel better for it, but I'd be lying if I said I felt socially fulfilled. Any and all suggestions or stories are much appreciated!

[smithy]

For years I used to binge drink heavily at the weekends until earlier this year when I encountered some health problems and I decided to quit all booze. I found it best to have something to do the next morning to give me an "excuse" not to drink. I joined a couple of cycling clubs that go out on Saturdays and Sundays. Now I feel that I'm letting myself and others down if I'm not in decent shape for a ride.

Funny thing is I still feel like I need to make excuses to my old group of mates as to why I'm not drinking. I guess I'm concerned that it's perceived as a sign of weakness in our group.

[Billy The Kid]

As I've mentioned in this thread on a few occasions, if you want to find out who your real friends are then quitting drinking is a surefire way to find out. And when I say "real friends" I'm not talking about your weekend amigo's, or people you've "palled around with" all your life. Oftentimes those friendships are ones of convenience rather than substance. When I say "real friends" I'm talking about people who treat you the same way they treat their own family - with genuine respect and concern.

Quit drinking and see how many of your so called mates will wish you well. See how many of them will support you. See how many of them will encourage you. See how many of them will check in with you. See how many of them will call you to see how you're doing. See how many of them will ask you to call them if you need help with anything.

See how many of them will make it a point to hang out with you to hear how you're doing. See how many of them will ask how you're finding sobriety. See how many of them will ask why you didn't ask them for help sooner. See how many of them will display enough understanding and concern to plan an event or getaway that doesn't involve drinking. See how many of them are willing to give their own wants and needs a back seat in favor of yours.

See how many of them tell you that they're proud of you for having the guts to own up and admit to your problem. See how many of them are willing to step in when you're accused by others of being a dry balls and actually fight your corner. See how many of them are willing to put others straight about what you've been through and what you're going through.

You will find that you probably only have 1 or 2 "real friends". If you're lucky, maybe 3. And that's it. Everyone else is just part of the charade. They just exist in your life as people you know. An extension of your ego. A way to validate your own sense of self-importance. A way to make you feel tribal - that you belong to something. It's been about 7 years since I last partied with my drinking buddies. My guess is the sorry c*nts still haven't realized that I fucked off

[TepidT2O]

Here’s a question Billy.

Did you find some people who hadn’t seemed as close to you got closer when you stopped?

[Billy The Kid]

Here’s a question Billy.

Did you find some people who hadn’t seemed as close to you got closer when you stopped?

Good question mate. The short answer is yes.

I think a large part of that is owed to the fact that when I was at my worst I was fairly shut off from people. I wasn't the type of person who was easy to get to know, if you know what I mean? My perception of relationships in general was also pretty messed up. That changed when I started getting well.

[bam09]

SNIP

My smile grew wider with every sentence; all of it makes sense. Thanks very much for that, Billy.

[Billy The Kid]

My smile grew wider with every sentence; all of it makes sense. Thanks very much for that, Billy.

Sound lad. Yeah, doing a little house cleaning in your social circles is a must for anyone who wants to get well. There's an old saying that we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. I used to think that was a load of old jargon, but the more I observe life, the more I see that it is oh so true.

[bam09]

Sound lad. Yeah, doing a little house cleaning in your social circles is a must for anyone who wants to get well. There's an old saying that we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. I used to think that was a load of old jargon, but the more I observe life, the more I see that it is oh so true.

I've heard that one before and subscribe to it; I've kept it in mind as my social circle has evolved, and maybe it's confirmation bias, but it seems to hold. Increasingly, I see the importance in choosing friends wisely, and not merely paying lip service to that. Anyways, thanks again   

[JLStretton]

need to open up again somewhere I watched a show on bbc3 online I think with Adrian Chiles of all people about his drink habit and he counted his units, and a weekly dose should be under 18 I think it was?  I counted mine and it is a average of 378 units at the min lol still living tho at my weight as well.

[So… Howard Philips]

need to open up again somewhere I watched a show on bbc3 online I think with Adrian Chiles of all people about his drink habit and he counted his units, and a weekly dose should be under 18 I think it was?  I counted mine and it is a average of 378 units at the min lol still living tho at my weight as well.

Current maximum for a man is 12-14 units per week, with no more than 4 in any one day.

You are having an average of over 50 units a day. Get some help!

[OLDIE]

need to open up again somewhere I watched a show on bbc3 online I think with Adrian Chiles of all people about his drink habit and he counted his units, and a weekly dose should be under 18 I think it was?  I counted mine and it is a average of 378 units at the min lol still living tho at my weight as well.

How many pints or bottles of wine is that?

[Mumm-Ra]

How many pints or bottles of wine is that?

A litre bottle of vodka at 40% contains 40 units of alcohol

JLS, seriously you should try to get some help. I know you've been in this thread in the past, so you know this. All the best

[bam09]

Current maximum for a man is 12-14 units per week, with no more than 4 in any one day.

You are having an average of over 50 units a day. Get some help!

One thing I thought about watching that: BAC is dependent on one's weight - the heavier the person the slower the rate of BAC increase with each unit consumed. It would seem to me that a uniform limit makes little sense; to boot 14 units is also the recommended maximum for women. I think the country's myriad of technocrats and researchers could stand to have done a better job with this.

Upon inspection:

The 14-unit figure is based at a level expected to cause an overall lifetime risk of death due to alcohol of approximately 1%, according to the independent advisory group which formulated it. However, it cautioned that “there is little evidence regarding the impact of any guidelines in changing health behaviours”.

Prof Sir David Spiegelhalter, Winton Professor of the Public Understanding of Risk, University of Cambridge, said: “These guidelines define ‘low-risk’ drinking as giving you less than a 1% chance of dying from an alcohol-related condition. So should we feel OK about risks of this level?

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jan/08/mens-recommended-maximum-weekly-alcohol-units-cut-14

[Mumm-Ra]

A litre bottle of vodka at 40% contains 40 units of alcohol

Is that right, 1 unit = 10ml of pure alcohol?

If that's the case an imperial pint of Stella, 568ml x 0.052 (5.2% abv) = 29.5ml of alcohol, so a pint of Stella is 3 units.
750ml bottle of wine at 13.5% is right around 10 units

[rob1966]

Is that right, 1 unit = 10ml of pure alcohol?

If that's the case an imperial pint of Stella, 568ml x 0.052 (5.2% abv) = 29.5ml of alcohol, so a pint of Stella is 3 units.
750ml bottle of wine at 13.5% is right around 10 units

Yep, thats about right

You can check the exact units on this site

http://www.beers.co.uk/alcohol-units/index.html#

[AndyInVA]

JLS

shit mate

congrats on owning up to the site and hopefully that admission to this group will be a turning point for you

50 units is not sustainable and was the path that of the person this thread is named for

You have clearly been able to get this under control before and I hope that experience will make it easier for you to turn it around this time

Very sad news

[JLStretton]

Been drinking kestrel super what is 4.5 units a can, I just needed to let of and kind of own up to what I have been doing.

Like you say I have done it before and I'm just going to give it another go as I won't be around much longer abusing my body like this.

Today has been a alcohol free day I look forward to many more

[Billy The Kid]

need to open up again somewhere I watched a show on bbc3 online I think with Adrian Chiles of all people about his drink habit and he counted his units, and a weekly dose should be under 18 I think it was?  I counted mine and it is a average of 378 units at the min lol still living tho at my weight as well.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/RX2opvj7WE8" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/RX2opvj7WE8</a>


^^ I think this is the documentary you're talking about? It sheds a pretty alarming light on just how culturally conditioned most people are when it comes to alcohol. Particularly in terms of the mass blase attitude towards its health risks

You know somethings not right when large sections of society judge how good their Saturday night out was based on how horrifically fucked up they feel on a Sunday morning.

I don't know if any of you have ever heard of Dan Pena, but he has a great saying, he says "Political correctness is a manifestation of lack of self-esteem". He unpacks it by saying that the vast majority of people are too afraid to say what they really think or feel because of fear or ridicule

Whenever I see people stumbling around legless on a Friday or Saturday night, spewing their kebabs up and acting like complete dickheads, I honestly can't help but wonder - is the reason they're in that state due to the fact that they take pleasure in being degenerates? Or are they just following suit in order to fit in and avoid the fear of ridicule?

Gives a little further weight to the notion that we're the sum of our 5 best friends, doesn't it?

JL you need to get some help mate, and soon. I'm going to say the same thing to you that I said to Carl on numerous occasions, and that is that you only have 2 choices here. Option 1 is quit and give yourself a chance to live a normal life. Option 2 is keep drinking and die early from it. Grim I know, but that's the reality of it I'm afraid 

[JLStretton]

Yes Billy that's the one I watched.  And you are bang on mate about the two options.

[Corkboy]

Been drinking kestrel super what is 4.5 units a can

Just looked it up, 9%. That’s about double a normal can.

[Johnnyboy1973]

Up town in need of watching the footie.

Bad night to be an alchy.

[Billy The Kid]

Did everyone make it through the Christmas ok?

I used to do unmerciful damage around this time of year

Just said I'd see how you're all holding up?

[John C]

We all hope you're ok Billy mate.

Did you ever start the book? If not get it started by simply embellishing and expanding this post.

As I've mentioned in this thread on a few occasions,

I'm not in that position at all, but my eyes scanned every word with genuine interest.

If you need tips I'm sure Fat Scouser will help you mate.

Good to see you on here.

Have you moved recently? I don't recall you being in NY.

[24/7]

Did everyone make it through the Christmas ok?

I used to do unmerciful damage around this time of year

Just said I'd see how you're all holding up?

My dad fell off the wagon a week away from 5th anniversary of being dry. He thinks he has a legit excuse. I'm beyond fuckin disappointed. It's just all so very sad. I found out from my sister. He hasn't even had the balls to admit it to me directly. He needs to fucking own that shit. Aaarrrggh.

[realtarragona]

Is he back on the wagon though? From my own experience it’s what you do next that matters. 5 years is a great effort so I wouldn’t be overly negative about it as it’ll likely lead to falling off again (if he’s anything like me).

[spen71]

I’ve just past my 7th Christmas without a drink.    My soberity date is January 9th, which unbelievably will be 8 years.    The time has flown by and I’m blessed that the obsession left me the day i had reached my bottom and threw the towel in.   

Interesting about friends, all my old drinking buddies soon disappeared when i quit the booze.    I’ve been pretty much happy in my own company now.   I have become quite close to a couple of my cousins since I quit the booze.    That would never of happened had I still drank.    Well I wouldn’t be here none if i still drank.

[24/7]

Is he back on the wagon though? From my own experience it’s what you do next that matters. 5 years is a great effort so I wouldn’t be overly negative about it as it’ll likely lead to falling off again (if he’s anything like me).

No idea. He's stopped communicating.

[Billy The Kid]

We all hope you're ok Billy mate.

Did you ever start the book? If not get it started by simply embellishing and expanding this post.I'm not in that position at all, but my eyes scanned every word with genuine interest.

If you need tips I'm sure Fat Scouser will help you mate.

Good to see you on here.

Have you moved recently? I don't recall you being in NY.

Hi John. Happy Christmas to you. Yes, I did in fact start the book. I have the first couple of chapters done. I would have liked to have worked on it more over the last few months but I started a new job back in August and am also trying to find time to work on my Ph.D. I'll be off during the summer so I plan to try and complete another few chapters then. Good shout on Fat Scouser. I might shoot him a PM

[Billy The Kid]

My dad fell off the wagon a week away from 5th anniversary of being dry. He thinks he has a legit excuse. I'm beyond fuckin disappointed. It's just all so very sad. I found out from my sister. He hasn't even had the balls to admit it to me directly. He needs to fucking own that shit. Aaarrrggh.

Sorry to hear that Jim. As frustrating as it is, the only thing I would recommend is to help him get back on the dry as quickly as possible

Remember that his excuses (as lame as they may be) are nothing more than a symptom of the wider problem

[jillcwhomever]

My dad fell off the wagon a week away from 5th anniversary of being dry. He thinks he has a legit excuse. I'm beyond fuckin disappointed. It's just all so very sad. I found out from my sister. He hasn't even had the balls to admit it to me directly. He needs to fucking own that shit. Aaarrrggh.

Sorry to hear that Jim.    Give it a bit longer, maybe common sense will prevail in the end. I hope you are doing okay yourself.

[spen71]

Yesterday marked my eighth sobriety birthday!   Where has the time gone?

[Yosser0_0]

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/RX2opvj7WE8" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/RX2opvj7WE8</a>

Snip

I've never posted on this thread before, but I've just watched the documentary that you've posted (thanks) and I would encourage everyone to have a look at it regardless of where you think you stand in terms of your own alcohol consumption.

Over the years Adrian Chiles has come in for a fair amount of stick, mainly for his football punditry I think. Personally, I've never had an issue with him as a TV presenter, probably because I first came across him on the Working Lunch programme and he was a breath of fresh air at the time - I actually like his sense of humour (bit like Crosby Nick)! Anyway after watching this documentary I really admire him for confronting his alcohol issues and for doing it publicly. The worrying aspects about the programme for me was that his level of drinking seemed to be socially acceptable and he'd had no health warnings so to speak.

Drinkers Like Me - Adrian Chiles (Contains some strong language.)

In this revealingly intimate documentary for BBC2, Adrian Chiles takes a long hard look at his own love of boozing. He wants to find out why he and many others don't think they are addicted to alcohol, despite finding it almost impossible to enjoy life without it. Adrian, who drinks almost every day, decides to start a drinking diary and soon finds out his intake is way over the recommended limit. He decides to visit his parents to find out what it was that motivated him to start drinking as a teenager and reveals that sneaking into pubs underage was all about friendship and being part of something, and that the allure of the social side of drinking has never really left him since his teens.

So after drinking far too much for far too long, Adrian decides to get his liver checked out. The results come as a shock and after seeing an addiction therapist Adrian begins to realise that like many other people he needs to do something about his excessive boozing. His big question is does he need to quit completely or can he 'to use the world's most boring phrase drink more responsibly'. His first port of call is old mate Frank Skinner. Frank was a Pernod in the morning bedwetting kind of drinker but quit 30 years ago. His advice to Adrian is unexpected 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0bhkc8b/drinkers-like-me-adrian-chiles

[Billy The Kid]

Yeah, I agree on Chiles. Always seemed like a sound fella to me. As far as the documentary goes, I think it's excellent, in the sense that it highlights how dangerously blase most people are when it comes to alcohol. I wouldn't class Chiles as an alcoholic in the true sense of the word though. From what I gleaned from the documentary, his drinking was largely habitual.

Then there are problem drinkers. These are generally people who (despite a heavy reliance on it for long periods) can find it within themselves to quit if given an ultimatum. They may find it hard at first, but they can do it with enough willpower.

Then there's the real mc coy. The real alcoholic. If you end up in this category then all the willpower in the world wont save you. You become defenseless against the first drink. The mental obsession kicks in and you can't leave it alone, no matter how much carnage and wreckage it causes in your life. That's when you're only hope of survival is to turn to something outside of yourself for help

The real mc coys usually start to display alcoholic traits early on in their drinking careers. Which would suggest that alcoholism (or more specifically, the allergy to alcohol) is something you're born with. It can also be developed in some cases though. Which is why the Chiles documentary carries such a serious word of warning IMO