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PRE GAME REVIEW - EVERTON V LIVERPOOL - WED, 1 DEC 2021 - KO 8.15pm
Henry Kissinger:
Bitters v Winners
Wed, 1 Dec, 2021 - KO 8.15pm
(Goodison Park)
So the 239th Merseyside derby is but a few days away, which means it's time to pray for the safety of our players. For those of us who don't believe in god, we get to cross our fingers and hope for the best. Kind of like what religious people do when they pray I suppose.
During the summer, Carlo Fantastico buggered off sharpish when he realised he could manage a top club in Spain as opposed to a second rate pub team on Merseyside. This left Accountant Supremo and all round nice guy/rich person Farhad Moshiri with the unenviable task of finding someone daft enough to take on the most poisonous of chalices. Failing that, someone who had a house and family in the area and was keen to relocate. He plumped for the latter, so through the managerial revolving doors of Everton Football Club walked Rafa.
Ten points from their first four games had some of the blue persuasion muttering about a possible CL qualification this season. Very unlike them. Sadly, reality has since paid an extended visit and they're now looking at no wins in their last seven league games. Presently, they languish in 14th place, just six points from the relegation places. We can only hope eh.
Richarlison, possibly the finest Brazilian to grace a football pitch, will return from his suspension keen to show everyone why he's better than Fun Guy Bobby. Of course what will in fact happen is he'll mope around the pitch, waving his arms about and falling to the floor in an overly dramatic fashion, whilst asking his teammates why they all can't be as wonderful as him. The match on Wednesday may come too soon for injured fashion icon Dominic Calvert Lewin. No one is really sure what injury he's suffering with, though I've heard pride and dignity mentioned. If ever anyone needed an image to describe the phrase 'more money than sense' here it is ...
In stark contrast, we sit in third place just two points behind Chelsea. This is without a shadow of a doubt the best Liverpool team I have ever seen, and I started watching us back in 1971. They've been breaking records for fun over the last few years and continued the trend on Saturday by being the first team to score two or more goals in 17 consecutive games since Sunderland in 1927. Also, we're the only team to score in every Premier League game this season, which should give the Everton players some sleepless nights.
Some might say that bragging rights will be up for grabs on Wednesday as well as the three points, but in all honesty they don't really exist anymore. Unless bragging rights sound like this:
Them: we beat youse at Anfield last season.
Us: yeah, but you're still shit though eh.
So a relatively convincing win should be on the cards and then we can sing Rafa's name just to rub salt into the wound. All the games on Tuesday and Wednesday are being shown live on Amazon Prime, so for many of us there'll no need for dodgy streams. Unless you're suffering from a bowel infection.
Referee: Paul Tierney.
Assistants: Constantine Hatzidakis, Adam Nunn.
Fourth official: Jonathan Moss.
VAR: Michael Oliver.
Assistant VAR: Sian Massey-Ellis.
SamLad:
the Bitters right now:
- have a single point from their past six league matches
- on their longest winless run since April 2016
- took 13 points from their opening six fixtures, have earned just two since then
Sarge:
We will need some strong chinpads for this.
Persephone:
A win and no injuries would be a perfect result. Everyone we play these, my heart is in my mouth wondering who is next to be clattered. I hope Virgil really goes in hard on the gimp in the Everton goal.
amir87:
--- Quote from: Sarge on November 28, 2021, 07:46:27 pm ---We will need some strong chinpads for this.
--- End quote ---
You expecting us to take a lot of elbows?
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