Author Topic: Adverts you hate (Read 195101 times)

nidgemo · « **Reply #160 on:** November 2, 2004, 12:27:44 pm »

Quote from: hooded claw on November 2, 2004, 12:21:27 pm

don't you have a workmate that needs admiring?

No. I've been promoted.

I am now admiring office furniture and chairs.

hooded claw · « **Reply #161 on:** November 2, 2004, 12:32:38 pm »

Quote from: nidgemo on November 2, 2004, 12:27:44 pm

No. I've been promoted.

I am now admiring office furniture and chairs.

Still in the same one-foot-up-while-pointing-into-the-distance-and-smiling pose, much beloved of 1970s knitting patterns?

nidgemo · « **Reply #162 on:** November 2, 2004, 12:36:16 pm »

Quote from: hooded claw on November 2, 2004, 12:32:38 pm

Still in the same one-foot-up-while-pointing-into-the-distance-and-smiling pose, much beloved of 1970s knitting patterns?

No. along with my promotion, I have been given a suit and a shave, and now sit, businesslike yet casual on the edge of desks, pointing to some paperwork. Sometimes I am talking into a phone.

No one talks back

hooded claw · « **Reply #163 on:** November 2, 2004, 12:40:55 pm »

Quote from: nidgemo on November 2, 2004, 12:36:16 pm

No. along with my promotion, I have been given a suit and a shave, and now sit, businesslike yet casual on the edge of desks, pointing to some paperwork. Sometimes I am talking into a phone.

No one talks back

is there a more perfect image of urban alienation...?

on the other hand, start worrying when you do hear voices..........

Buck Pete · « **Reply #164 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:12:08 pm »

Quote from: Ben_JP on October 21, 2004, 01:38:24 pm

The one I hated recently was the one where a bloke is cooking fajitas for his bird and she's sarcastically giving it loads down the phone to one of her, no doubt Heat-reading, friends about how amazing it is her bloke is cooking for her. Feck off you ungrateful cow, I hope the lad grated some smegma in there and made you do the dishes in'all.

Quote from: Jimbo. on October 21, 2004, 01:54:18 pm

"Aromatic spices?"
They'd be a lot more aromatic after first insterting them into your colon you moaning fcuking cow

Searching for something and came across this thread. Decided to bump it.

Hilarious thread with lots of heart felt rants from the usual suspects.

Quality

nidgemo · « **Reply #165 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:14:21 pm »

The above conversation was, I believe, one of the first times Claw and I spoke on here

It all went downhill from there.

Garstonite · « **Reply #166 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:16:11 pm »

Without checking the rest of the thread - elephant.co.uk and Tuffers' "Happy Days".

danwin · « **Reply #167 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:18:32 pm »

DFS at fucking christmas.

alipscouser · « **Reply #168 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:21:32 pm »

the austin healy (i think it is) hair loss one. watch it through your fingers lol i cant imagine the stick he must of got from his teammates lol.
also have you seen the one for windows and doors where that twat comes up screaming at the camera, YOU BUY ONE YOU GET ONE FREE! makes me tear my hair out lol

adopted_scouser · « **Reply #169 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:21:48 pm »

Bev!
Kev!
Bev?
Kev?
Bev!!!
Kev!!!

Hightown Phil · « **Reply #170 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:25:25 pm »

Just stick At The Races on for shite adverts. I think they have a shite advert quota.

PaulF · « **Reply #171 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:25:57 pm »

Quote from: nidgemo on July 25, 2005, 02:14:21 pm

The above conversation was, I believe, one of the first times Claw and I spoke on here

It all went downhill from there.

I take it from the contents of this thread you are the straight guy?
Although to be fair Claw has a huge headstart thanks to his string of profanity. Cockbatter being my new word-for-the-week

IrishDave · « **Reply #172 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:29:18 pm »

Howard?

He's a Liverpool fan, you know. Don't ask me how I know, I just do.

♠Dirty Harry♠ · « **Reply #173 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:31:12 pm »

Quote from: IrishDave on July 25, 2005, 02:29:18 pm

Howard?

He's a Liverpool fan, you know. Don't ask me how I know, I just do.

Is he the black guy, who has now been animated?

IrishDave · « **Reply #174 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:32:15 pm »

Yeah that;s him

adopted_scouser · « **Reply #175 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:32:23 pm »

that nobby's nuts one, it was on the big screen at cardiff this year loads.

NOT NODDY'S! NOBBY'S!

they couldn't give them nuts away for free.....

hooded claw · « **Reply #176 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:33:30 pm »

Fuckin' love this thread.
Any advert in which some lined crone peers dimly into the lens and tries to convinve ~~gullible fuckwits~~ style-conscious women that this tub of whale spunk or whatever the fuck it is, will make 'em more youthful.
'You could look up to 12 years younger...'

Oh for fucks sake how can you say that you c*nts? What internationally accepted and regulated scale are you using? Now fuck off and die you cumstains!

adopted_scouser · « **Reply #177 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:35:40 pm »

Quote from: hooded claw on July 25, 2005, 02:33:30 pm

Fuckin' love this thread.
Any advert in which some lined crone peers dimly into the lens and tries to convinve ~~gullible fuckwits~~ style-conscious women that this tub of whale spunk or whatever the fuck it is, will make 'em more youthful.
'You could look up to 12 years younger...'

Oh for fucks sake how can you say that you c*nts? What internationally accepted and regulated scale are you using? Now fuck off and die you cumstains!

i agree there. Its different spunk on each advert that they put on their face, can't be good for the skin. No wonder they look older than they are

Garstonite · « **Reply #178 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:35:53 pm »

Quote from: hooded claw on July 25, 2005, 02:33:30 pm

spunk
fuck
cumstains

Have you been readint those magazines against Mr. Claw?

nidgemo · « **Reply #179 on:** July 25, 2005, 02:41:42 pm »

Quote from: PaulF on July 25, 2005, 02:25:57 pm

I take it from the contents of this thread you are the straight guy?

Correct. I'm the straight guy. He's not.

IrishDave · « **Reply #180 on:** July 25, 2005, 03:05:57 pm »

Quote from: blurred on July 25, 2005, 02:58:33 pm

Any 'scientifically proven' face gunk for fembots gets me all in a nark - scientifically proven my fucking left bumcheek. It's a scientific fact that if you put shit on your skin that it'll get absorbed - what was the scientific test, sitting in the fucking bath and noticing that your fingers go all wrinkly?

For fucks sake, anyone who can't see past the smarmy c*nts in suits and ponytails who do so much coke that they still think it is the 1980's and the lines that they come up with deserves to be parted with 40 quid for their fucking exfoliating cleansing, toning, body washing, germ killing derma-perma-burma skin magic cream that instantly makes you beautiful.

Here's the lowdown girls - if you're ugly, no amount of expensive crap will make you pretty; if you've got wrinkles then you've either just got out of the bath (conducting scientific research for Laboratoire Garnier, no doubt) or you're getting old - deal with it.

Oh, and it can make you look upto 8 years younger? of course it fucking can - upto meaning between 0 and 8. Bunch of fucking twunts the lot of them, but people keep falling for it.

Jesus man, get off the fence.

mightyredbarney · « **Reply #181 on:** July 25, 2005, 03:12:09 pm »

Here we go, straight into Room 101, the motherfucker of all motherfuckers, I'm so angry and shaking at the moment it's a struggle to type, but here goes....

"Been injured in an accident that wasn't your fault?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I was at work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of floor that hadn't been dried properly. I am a clumsy c*nt, but it cost the insurance company five grand whilst I sat on my fat arse doing fuck all, eating crisps and watching Trisha.

Anyone in these adverts - walk on part, voiceover, speaking part. You're all c*nts.

Buck Pete · « **Reply #182 on:** July 25, 2005, 03:23:10 pm »

I'm going to leave the cheapo middle of the day insurance and ambulance chasers alone and go at the big boys.

That advert for Marks and Sparks really winds me up to the point of bursting.

This is not a pudding! This is a Belgian Chocolate,melt in the middle,served with channel island thick double cream pudding.

Its still a pudding thats been produced in a factory just outside Wolverhampton you bunch of stuck up wankers.

IrishDave · « **Reply #183 on:** July 25, 2005, 03:33:25 pm »

I have no idea why, but the Homebase ads make me want to chuck my telly out the window.

You know the ones that have the M People "Moving On Up" song playing. It drives me mental.

I think its the fact that it's not the actual music but some shitty thing that sounds like it was made on a £20 keyboard.

Not logical I know, but I do have a real hatred for those ads.

Wigwamdelbert · « **Reply #184 on:** July 25, 2005, 03:44:36 pm »

Linda fucking Barker and her fucking twatting Curry's ads

Pheel · « **Reply #185 on:** July 25, 2005, 03:49:16 pm »

Quote from: Wigwampaddy on July 25, 2005, 03:44:36 pm

Linda fucking Barker and her fucking twatting Curry's ads

Was very succesful that one. I know

Keep an eye out for the new ones in about a weeks time different style

adopted_scouser · « **Reply #186 on:** July 25, 2005, 03:51:56 pm »

Have you been injured in an accident at work that wasn't your fault?

(camera focuses on fat guy in mid 40s on a sofa)

Well, i was minding my own business in the office. And suddenly a truck chashed through and ran me over. I claimed £6 billion compensation......

Branno · « **Reply #187 on:** July 25, 2005, 04:28:41 pm »

Anyone remember this advert from the early 80's........what are they hoping for ?

Will it be chips or jacket spuds
Will it be salad or frozen peas
Will it be mushrooms or fried onion rings
We'll have to wait and see !!!

We hope its........

Don Vito Corleone · « **Reply #188 on:** July 25, 2005, 04:30:38 pm »

Quote from: Branno on July 25, 2005, 04:28:41 pm

Anyone remember this advert from the early 80's........what are they hoping for ?

Will it be chips or jacket spuds
Will it be salad or frozen peas
Will it be mushrooms or fried onion rings
We'll have to wait and see !!!

We hope its........

Chips

Buck Pete · « **Reply #189 on:** July 25, 2005, 04:39:34 pm »

Quote from: Branno on July 25, 2005, 04:28:41 pm

Anyone remember this advert from the early 80's........what are they hoping for ?

Will it be chips or jacket spuds
Will it be salad or frozen peas
Will it be mushrooms or fried onion rings
We'll have to wait and see !!!

We hope its........

Aye i do.

The Fried Onion Rings bit was sung in a really strong Jamaican accent by the Frank Bruno lookalike in the back of the van.

The PC brigade wouldn't let that one through these days.

♠Dirty Harry♠ · « **Reply #190 on:** July 25, 2005, 04:48:35 pm »

One bleeding word - Bodyform

Leave your tele on sleep mode and turn over to nod off, and that fucking racket blares out at 3 in the morning...

mightyredbarney · « **Reply #191 on:** July 25, 2005, 04:51:44 pm »

Quote from: adopted_scouser on July 25, 2005, 03:51:56 pm

Have you been injured in an accident at work that wasn't your fault?

(camera focuses on fat guy in mid 40s on a sofa)

Well, i was minding my own business in the office. And suddenly a truck chashed through and ran me over. I claimed £6 billion compensation......

It seems we hate the same thing.

Can't tell you how much my blood boils when I see those stupid fucks with their compensation "and the company were so lovely and helpful."

Arseholes.

JoeH · « **Reply #192 on:** July 25, 2005, 04:55:10 pm »

crazy frog,... ggggggrrrrrrr!!!!!

Thank god for Sky+!

quincyg · « **Reply #193 on:** July 25, 2005, 04:57:45 pm »

Confused.com. ad ; Kev Bev; any loan/compo ad;

where's my bloody gun?!

rather sad really... $:-\$ http://www.jrhunt.co.uk/old/adverts.htm

Branno · « **Reply #194 on:** July 25, 2005, 05:06:35 pm »

Womens fucking 'pad' adverts

All these women must be fucking Royals.................blue blood

Play tennis, walk the dog, jog up and down a beach, horse riding.....yeah fucking right! Pyjamas, bar of Dairy Milk, sat on the couch being bitchy more like $:-\$

mightyredbarney · « **Reply #195 on:** July 25, 2005, 05:07:06 pm »

Oh - another one...

When sad and worried looking man suddenly gets all his debts consolidated into one easy manageable convenient payment with Loansharks R Us, paying only 23,000 quid a month for the next hundred and one years, so his kids and their kids will be in hock up to their eyeballs, he'll lose his house and die lonely in the canal.

Why is everyone a bastard.

Sorry, not having a good day.

Acaustiq · « **Reply #196 on:** July 25, 2005, 05:17:36 pm »

Any involving alan shearer, particularly them fucking lucozade ones from a while back, the twat couldnt act his way out of a fucking paper bag.

"I'm. In. Training. To. Win. Fuck. All. Again. This. Season. So. I'm. Creosoting. A. Fucking. Fence. And. Twatting. A. Fucking. Rug. Like."

Twat off.

And them peugeot ones from a while ago;

"Right then lads, we need an ad for this 206, its small, nimble, loads of boot space....."

"Howabout some bloke with a big fuck off shark bite and some twatting kid singing cyndi lauper"

"Brilliant"

And whilst we're at it, whats them ones where the kid pisses the bed and at the end asks his mum if he can sleep at some other kids house who probably pisses the bed an' all and she says yes because of this miraculous product that stop kids being little c*nts. The little bastard, in my day he'd have had the shit kicked out of him in the playground and someone would have written 'piss pant' in big red board marker on his fucking head and no mistake, no c*nt apart from the div kids would have invited him over for anything other than a good kicking.

Kids these days, dont know they're born.

mightyredbarney · « **Reply #197 on:** July 25, 2005, 05:22:24 pm »

I remember reading a top letter in Viz a while back, when Nissan were doing that "Do you speak Micra"

Well, his Micra, as well as being spafe (spacious and safe) was also shiny and bright.

Made me laugh.

Acaustiq · « **Reply #198 on:** July 25, 2005, 05:22:28 pm »

Oh and any involving credit cards.

"I get 0% on balance transfers and 129.9% APR on new fucking purchases so I can carry on plunging myself into debt buying shite I dont fucking need and will only have to face the consequences ten years down the bastard line when some c*nt from the CAB will tell me to write to all my creditors offering 12p a week, whats in your wallet you worthless c*nt ?"

Mrfabulous · « **Reply #199 on:** July 25, 2005, 05:26:50 pm »

all the wheres theres blame theres a claim

no win no fee

are you poor borrow money off us we won't rip you,

all bollocks and allways on sky, c*nts