Author Topic: "This fella shouted"  (Read 589585 times)

Offline Djimi

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #160 on: January 22, 2005, 05:01:20 pm »
 :lmao
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Offline Forbsie

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #161 on: January 22, 2005, 05:04:26 pm »
Playing against the Police in an amateur game many moons ago and captain of my team said to one the coppers, after a hard tackle and wee bit of winding up, "What's your wife say about sleeping with a Pig?".... quick as flash the Copper replied "Well your wife never complains"...............no reply from the captain of my team.
If Kenny Dalglish had simply played football for Liverpool he would be an Anfield hero. However, the fact that he managed the club to even greater success guarantees him the status of a legend.

Offline okcomputer

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #162 on: January 22, 2005, 05:56:53 pm »
i remember an ireland match at lansdowne around 1999 against malta i think, when we kept on getting caught offside a bloke shouted (about the linesman)

"Will someone take that flag off yer man!"

In the same match, Niall  Quinn was having a complete shocker, he couldn't run,kept heading the ball to no one, someone shouted (could have been the same bloke)

"Big Niall, sure he's like an extra defender for them!"
Quote from: mrsphilthefish on 20/10/07 at 04:28:32 PM
A red jumped up when we scored and some bluenose jumped up and said "fuck off out you. How did you get a ticket in here you fucking red gobshite?"
To which the red replied "coz YOU couldn't sell your tickets to your fucking own, they even went on fucking general sale for fucks sake. So I put s

Offline Red Squiggle

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #163 on: January 22, 2005, 06:14:14 pm »
Boro away this season, and mid way through first half heard someone behind me shout "Zenden, your a gobshite! You were a gobshite last week, you'll be a gobshite next week, and you're a gobshite today!" well funny!

otherwise, took my brother to a game not so long ago on a dads and lads and so was with a good few kids around me in the anny road end for Newcastle. After "Feed The Scousers" and "Sing when you're stealing" and NO fucking response from anyone around me a guy behind got up and yelled "YEAH, we'll be stealing your fucking wives ya c*nts! Thats right, i'm gonna shag your fucking wives senseless tonight ya geordie bastards!" it wasnt original but seeing the guy next to me covering up his daughters ears as this bloke subjected the geordies to a minute long bombardment was well funny, especially as he ended saying "thats how ya do it son!" to his lad...

Offline Gray-YPC

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #164 on: January 23, 2005, 11:53:14 am »
The reply to away fans singing "Who's the scouser in the black?" always made me chuckle....

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Offline Hightown Phil

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #165 on: January 23, 2005, 03:20:32 pm »
Was in the Alehouse yesterday watching the game, fella next to us telling us about his trips in the eighties.

One time they went to Chelsea and jumped off the tube at Edgware Road instead of Fulham Broadway so that they could turn over a jewellers, anyway his mate robbed a watch and the bizzies caught them. They got searched and his managed to get away with the watch due to him shoving the watch up his arse.

Couple of weeks later the lad went to a Christmas party at the house of the brother of the mate who robbed the watch. The brother spent the night walking round boasting about how good his new watch was. Reckon he ever found out where it went?

Offline shammonkey

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #166 on: January 23, 2005, 04:50:48 pm »
Once went to an ameteur cup final where the goalie was a tad overweight, he went for across and copletley missed the ball.
 This lad shouted,If it had been a pie youd of caught it ye fat c*nt .Brilliant.
Dont you,throw that bloody spear at me.

Offline Alf Garnett

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #167 on: January 23, 2005, 05:00:24 pm »
On train to Southampton yesterday, some young girl about 18 or 19 got on at one of the stops, Liverpool fan shouted,
 'oi luv, if I was your dad I would still be bathing you'.
 I was still laughing about it on the way home even after that performance.

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Offline LFC on tour

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #168 on: January 23, 2005, 08:44:53 pm »
portsmouth game....centerniary stand..you can imagine how silent and atmosphereless it is. so djimi traore plays a ball forward to baros and over hits it by about 20 feet. my mate sitting next to me stands up and shouts..
"THATS YOUR PROBLEM DJIMI WHEN YOU WERE KICKIN THEM CANS ON THE BEACH THEY NEVER WENT AS FAR DID THEY"
guy next to us fell ontop of me laffing

Offline AllyouneedisRush

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #169 on: January 23, 2005, 09:09:17 pm »
Home game v southampton this season, the saints fans started to sing at the ref "who's the scouser in the green"   when some lad near me replied "jerzy Dudek"...

 ;D ;D



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Offline okcomputer

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #170 on: January 23, 2005, 11:01:08 pm »
Someone shouted to igor tonight after he went on a little surge 'take it easy igor you fuckin clown'

 ;D

this is my favourite cause i bet the guy who said it didn't even mean to be funny! :lmao
Quote from: mrsphilthefish on 20/10/07 at 04:28:32 PM
A red jumped up when we scored and some bluenose jumped up and said "fuck off out you. How did you get a ticket in here you fucking red gobshite?"
To which the red replied "coz YOU couldn't sell your tickets to your fucking own, they even went on fucking general sale for fucks sake. So I put s

Offline The Red artist.

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #171 on: January 24, 2005, 12:24:19 am »
In the boozer watchin England v Argentina.The Argies won a corner and the player takin the kick removed the corner flag as it impeded his run up,when puttin the flag back one of the lads behind me said,"eh ya argie twat,the last time ya put one of them up it was a fuckin white one"!the boozer roard wi laughter. ;D


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Offline Djimi

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #172 on: January 24, 2005, 11:42:15 am »
went to see bangor play ballyclare commrades (whos kit is red but it looks pink)

at the top of my voice i shouted

'whos the poofters in the pink'

and the whole stand started laughing (i didnt even mean to be funny, i was just stating the obivious)

 ;D
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THE GAWA PROVIDED NOT ONLY A 12TH MAN BUT A 13TH AND A 14TH AND 3 MORE ON THE BENCH.

Offline Joshytoohotty

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #173 on: January 24, 2005, 08:47:57 pm »
Last season, at home to Chelsea. Sat in the Main Stand, Anny Road end. Veron was playing his first match in Chelsea colours and proceeded to give the ball away as he normally does. The lad infront, stood up waving his 20 Mayfair in the air and shouted,

"15 million quid and he's not worth a fucking ciggarette."
They only drink water and bottles of coke, the Everton boys are a joke...

Offline shammonkey

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #174 on: January 25, 2005, 06:01:22 am »
Queing to get in the Kop one European night a police woman backed her horse into the crowd.This voice shouts,A girl that horse is sweating ye know. She replied, You would be sweating, if you had been beetween my legs for 3 hours.
Dont you,throw that bloody spear at me.

Offline SMD

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #175 on: January 25, 2005, 08:35:23 am »
Queing to get in the Kop one European night a police woman backed her horse into the crowd.This voice shouts,A girl that horse is sweating ye know. She replied, You would be sweating, if you had been beetween my legs for 3 hours.

Wahey, a lesbian with power...
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Offline alfonso

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #176 on: January 25, 2005, 12:56:57 pm »
Although it isn't funny, it epitomises everything wrong with the hangers on who watch football now and have no heart.
I was on a train from London to Liverpool or vice versa I can't remember, about 5 years ago and I heard this bloke sitting behind me talking about football.

He was talking to two old dears who by the sounds of it, the last time they knew anything about football was when England won the world cup.
Anyway, this Bloke was a Chelsea tosser. He was telling the old dears how he went to watch Chelsea everywhere, but mainly at "home and at finals". And the Gothenburg win was probably the greatest win for an English club in europe.  He wouldn't stop talking about how great Chelsea were and that all the other teams fans of the so called "bigger" clubs weren't really fans.. 

And then I had to have a look at him.  So I stood up and looked at him and he had corporate yuppie written all over his face. I then sat back down and carried on listening. He then said he also supports Newcastle.  To which I laughed out loud. He never noticed my reaction and then he told the old dears that he finds it hard to choose who he should support when he watches the two teams in action.

I think from the sounds of them even the old dears thought he was full of shit.

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Offline RonnieB

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #177 on: January 25, 2005, 01:04:57 pm »
Boro away this season, and mid way through first half heard someone behind me shout "Zenden, your a gobshite! You were a gobshite last week, you'll be a gobshite next week, and you're a gobshite today!" well funny!

otherwise, took my brother to a game not so long ago on a dads and lads and so was with a good few kids around me in the anny road end for Newcastle. After "Feed The Scousers" and "Sing when you're stealing" and NO fucking response from anyone around me a guy behind got up and yelled "YEAH, we'll be stealing your fucking wives ya c*nts! Thats right, i'm gonna shag your fucking wives senseless tonight ya geordie bastards!" it wasnt original but seeing the guy next to me covering up his daughters ears as this bloke subjected the geordies to a minute long bombardment was well funny, especially as he ended saying "thats how ya do it son!" to his lad...


Absolutely brilliant!

Offline Ianjaig

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #178 on: January 25, 2005, 01:20:00 pm »
Southampton away on Saturday. 5 mins before half time I was busting for a pee (too many pre-match pints) so shot down to the gents. Got the beers in and waited a minute or so for the half time whistle to blow. Anyhow, there was this guy standing next to me who had been downstairs before Id headed down for the loo, supping on his beer. The half time whistle blows and the fans start to pour in. This bloke, with a huge grin on his face then starts shouting at all the fans coming down the stairs “Get back up there ya fookin part timers – get back up there”  ;D
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Offline Oscar3

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #179 on: January 25, 2005, 02:01:15 pm »
First of all,got a good laugh myself when i called one of our players "A fuckin beansprout" after a misplaced pass.Always like the "Sealey is a condom" chant R.I.P.   I remember taking a lad with no footy interest to maine road with us for the league cup final replay with Everton,when Souness scored we done our usual mad celebrations in the Kippax and as we got off the floor and brushed ourselves down,this lad calm as you like with ciggie in gob says"Whats all The fuss about"!!!!
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Offline NornIron!!

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #180 on: January 25, 2005, 02:07:05 pm »
Middlesbrough vs Pool this year at the riverside beat 2-0 (bloody miserable!). We'd beaten them in the cup the week before at anfield.

Zenden comes over to take a corner (he'd been torturing us all nite an scored) bloke from behind yells:

"Zenden"

The dutchman turns around:

"you were a gobshite last week and your a gobshite tonite!"
As poppy petals gently fall
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Not in the mud of foreign lands
Not buried in the desert sands

In Ulster field and farm and town
Fermanagh lanes and drumlin'd Down
We died that violent death should cease
And Ulstermen might live in peace.

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #181 on: January 25, 2005, 02:57:39 pm »
Went up to Scotland with a mate to watch St Mirren v Raith Rovers and at the start of the game a Raith Rovers fella with a microphone came on the pitch i think he thought he was mystic meg as he said he could see into the future and that Raith would win 2-0, a bloke sitting near me straight away threw a half eaten meat pie at him hitting the bloke on the back and then yells "ha yer never saw that fucker comin"

Offline Murphy23

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #182 on: January 25, 2005, 03:23:44 pm »
Surprised no one has mentioned when Stig was going to take a corner, a pigeon landed next to him and some lad shouted "pigeon, you take it".  Stig promptly booted it straight out.

Was on the plane to Dortmund, the crew where doing the safety brief and a voice echoed from the back "can we crash on the way back la?""

Offline Djimi

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #183 on: January 25, 2005, 07:12:14 pm »
 ;D
LIVERPOOL FC - CHAMPIONS LEAGUE WINNERS 2005

I'M A VOYEUR, AND A DAM GOOD ONE AT THAT!

THE GAWA PROVIDED NOT ONLY A 12TH MAN BUT A 13TH AND A 14TH AND 3 MORE ON THE BENCH.

Offline FiSh77

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #184 on: January 25, 2005, 07:28:26 pm »
Surprised no one has mentioned when Stig was going to take a corner, a pigeon landed next to him and some lad shouted "pigeon, you take it".  Stig promptly booted it straight out.

 :lmao

Offline LFCJim

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #185 on: January 25, 2005, 07:53:09 pm »
Surprised no one has mentioned when Stig was going to take a corner, a pigeon landed next to him and some lad shouted "pigeon, you take it".  Stig promptly booted it straight out.
Hahaha!

 :lmao

Offline Big Mac

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #186 on: January 25, 2005, 10:38:03 pm »
Surprised no one has mentioned when Stig was going to take a corner, a pigeon landed next to him and some lad shouted "pigeon, you take it". Stig promptly booted it straight out.

Excellent stuff!


Offline Maggie May

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #187 on: January 26, 2005, 11:34:49 am »
I think from the sounds of them even the old dears thought he was full of shit.



Damn right.  And it is funny alfsonso.  All else he needed to do was to say "Pringles anyone".  :knob

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Offline Dave Spart

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #188 on: January 26, 2005, 12:24:34 pm »
vs West Ham at anfield early/mid-80's

Someone: "move for the ball Lawrenson you lazy b*stard"

Wag: "he'd move faster if it had a snuggler on!"

Much laughing allround!

Offline bryanod

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #189 on: January 26, 2005, 01:42:03 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D gotta stop reeading this during lectures!!!
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Offline M(oaning) B(ecomes) E(mbarrassing)

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #190 on: January 30, 2005, 12:22:51 pm »
Hello, everyone.  This is my first post.  What do you think of it so far?

Fantastic thread this. 

I remembered one or two from down the (many) years.  My favourite is probably the time when Larry Lloyd came back to Anfield after leaving us for Nottingham Forest and he was coming in for some fearful abuse.  "Oh, Larry Larry, Larry Larry Larry Larry SHITHOUSE Lloyd" ringing round and everything.  Anyway, Forest get a throw-in and the big feller comes over to take it and someone in the crowd screams at him, "You traitor, you should have stayed at Anfield" and Lloyd looks at him and shouts, "Piss off, dosser, you'll be emptying my dustbins tomorrow" which I thought was funny, but cruel, but the same feller comes back with, "Yeah, right down your throat, you big-mouthed bastard!" 

Another one was when Steve MacManaman sees an opening and starts running up the wing and all he needs is the ball and we've got a break on.  Jason Macateer is in possession but is looking the wrong way from Steve Mac.  The crowd start yelling, "wing, wing, wing" and my mate goes, "Will someone answer that bleedin' 'phone?" 

My son started getting in to football when he was about five and I took him to Anfield a few times and he loved it.  My brother -in-law is from Burnley and we were visiting them one weekend and he asks if we want to come to Turf Moor with him.  They are playing Wrexham who still have the legendary Joey Jones playing for them so we agree.  We get in and the game kicks off and after about five minutes, ny son says "Dad, what time are they kicking off?" and I say, "They have kicked off, they're playing now" and he says, in all seriousness, "Well what time do the crowd get here?"  I cracked up.  Burnley had a crowd of 1,700 that day for a fourth division game! 
It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.

Offline Maggie May

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #191 on: January 30, 2005, 12:49:51 pm »
Ace first post MBE.  (Especially liked "wing wing").  Welcome .  :wave 
Rather a day as a lion than a lifetime as a sheep.

I can only be nice to one person a day.  Today is not your day.  Tomorrow doesn't look too good either.
I tried being reasonable.  I didn't like it.  Old enough to know better.  Young enough not to give a fuck.

Offline codger

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #192 on: January 30, 2005, 01:58:45 pm »
C1980 and a Ressie game featuring young Howie Gayle (firstlocal black player to turn out for LC)

Some crude clumsy Preston defender slides in a n d kicks HG hal;fawy up the terracing

" Hey lay off OUR Howie, you***"
- this from fans then among the worst in the League for taunting the (not v many) black lads in  Div1.

Offline noble

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #193 on: January 30, 2005, 05:53:20 pm »
soom good ones from this season, firstly man city first home game of the season and i got tickets right behind the goal about 3 rows up and david james was getting shit the whole of the second half after he played so bad in portugal i think he deserved it!! Some of the same old comment which atill make me grin one fella stood up in the very front row right behind james when the game was getting a bit dull and was quite quiet an roard, "Have you clocked Mario yet eh David??"

But the the best had to be when James had just made a pretty average save but looked very dodgy ans an irish fella a couple of seats along from me tried to get everyone singing,
"ENGLAND NUMBER 3, ENGLAN ENGLAND NUMBER 3!!!"
no one joined in but i was pissin meself  ;D ;D

Offline M(oaning) B(ecomes) E(mbarrassing)

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #194 on: January 30, 2005, 05:56:15 pm »
This should maybe be titled, "This feller DIDN'T shout" as it concerns a funny incident at the Hawthorns in which NOTHING was shouted!

  In the late 70s/early 80s, the West Midlands police had an unwritten "zero-tolerance" policy in the grounds they policed.    Frankly, if you swore, you were out.  So, they'd wait until our "I do like to be beside the seaside" song and rush up behind our supporters to grab them as soon as the immortal final line was dished out.  They would grab two fans each and throw them out.  They clearly had a thing going with the gate men as they wouldn't arrest or even hit the offenders, they just threw them out.  The ejectee would then have to pay to get back in again, the gatemen would be on a bonus (presumably), West Brom would get increased revenue and like as not, the bizzies got a contribution to the policeman's ball.  We sussed this out and en-mass at the Hawthorns one year, we sang out the song with gusto.  "Oh I do like to be beside the seaside", cue the West Midlands finest taking position behind our supporters, "Oh I do like to be beside the sea.  Oh I do like to stroll along the prom, prom, prom," bizzies getting trigger-happy now.  "When the brass band plays",  the bizzies arms reach out at their nearest singer..... "hmmm hmmm humm hom!"  "The bastids have cottoned on at last" said this big Stan Laurel-looking sargeant to much Scouse merriment! 
It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.

Offline -5-baros-5-

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #195 on: January 30, 2005, 06:04:00 pm »
Liverpool Vrs Man U (2005)
Fella:(to Rooney when he was taking a corner) "You couln't score in a brothel you fat tw*t!"
 ;D top stuff
Wayne Rooney is so fat, when he fell in love he broke it BOOM BOOM!

Offline ♠Dirty Harry♠

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #196 on: January 30, 2005, 06:53:42 pm »
Surprised no one has mentioned when Stig was going to take a corner, a pigeon landed next to him and some lad shouted "pigeon, you take it".  Stig promptly booted it straight out.

Was on the plane to Dortmund, the crew where doing the safety brief and a voice echoed from the back "can we crash on the way back la?""

"Can we crash on the way back" Fucking true genius laughed for ages at that.  ;D

Offline El mooro

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #197 on: January 30, 2005, 10:24:05 pm »
Slightly off topic but:

I was working in A+E, and this lovely old dear, 90 +, bright as a button,well spoken, Hollywood granny features, comes in with a fractured wrist.

Have a bit of a gab with her, and tell her I will have to sedate her whilst I pull her wrist back into shape.

Just before I start giving her the drug, she tells me she is an avid Fulham fan, been watching them at home for over 60 years. I tell her I am a Liverpool fan, and then she starts telling me how she dislikes Man U, to which I agree.

I push in a bit of drug, and ask her , "What do you think of Alex Ferguson".

She replies, quick as a flash, and at the top of her voice in a packed a+e, which suddenly goes deadly quiet:

" Alex Ferguson? Alex Ferguson? I think he's a ruddy faced c*nt of a bastard".

I was pissing myself so much it took me two attempts to get her wrist right. Wonderful things, drugs.
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Offline Mottman

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #198 on: January 30, 2005, 11:04:39 pm »
West Ham at home sometime in the 80's, a plucky performance from the Hammers with the score 0.0.  Corner for us Kop end Alvin Martin is getting loads of stick from the Kop [Bootle lad who played for West Ham, used to live by us] he turns around to the Kop with a dirty big grin on his face, when one of the lads shouts "Hey Alvin your from Netherton and you used to live in xxxxxxx Street.

He turns around and looks in the Kop too see who it was shouting to him, and the lad shouts "Your Mam is superb in bed" [Alvin was laughing his gonads off] then all of a sudden the corner kick is taken and we score from it.

We all went up celebrating whilst the West Ham team as a man rounded on Alvin Martin, I think John Lyle was the Manager of West Ham then? On MOTD he questioned Martin's concentration levels, but we knew different.

 ;)   



 
A boy from the Mersey and a Son of Shankly.

Offline archie

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Re: "This fella shouted"
« Reply #199 on: January 30, 2005, 11:15:52 pm »
Slightly off topic but:

I was working in A+E, and this lovely old dear, 90 +, bright as a button,well spoken, Hollywood granny features, comes in with a fractured wrist.

Have a bit of a gab with her, and tell her I will have to sedate her whilst I pull her wrist back into shape.

Just before I start giving her the drug, she tells me she is an avid Fulham fan, been watching them at home for over 60 years. I tell her I am a Liverpool fan, and then she starts telling me how she dislikes Man U, to which I agree.

I push in a bit of drug, and ask her , "What do you think of Alex Ferguson".

She replies, quick as a flash, and at the top of her voice in a packed a+e, which suddenly goes deadly quiet:

" Alex Ferguson? Alex Ferguson? I think he's a ruddy faced c*nt of a bastard".

I was pissing myself so much it took me two attempts to get her wrist right. Wonderful things, drugs.


 ;D ;D ;D class