Mid 80's we were down in Leicester visiting one of me mates in Uni. After a particularly good sesh on a Friday night, we all decided to get the train to Birmingham to watch the reds' away game the next day.
We got to the train station at about 10am, and there wasnt a train for a couple of hours, so we go for a little walk around town to kill some time. In them days, there was a sex shop next to the train station in Leicester, so we all pile in there for a laugh.
After we come out, one of the lads produces a vibrator that he's lifted from the shop. Annoying c*nt spends the next couple of hours shovin the fuckin thing down your ear/in your coffee/in your bevvie etc-he thought it was fucking hilarious.
Then Karma kicked in. When the novelty wore off, the soft get put it in his pocket and forgot all about it until it was found on him by the bizzy who searched him outside the ground. The bizzy played a blinder-shouting at the top of his voice "you dirty little scouse twat, what the fucks this for you fucking pervert?" before showing it to every other bizzy on that side of the ground, and making sure everyone in the queue and every passer by got a good look at it too.
To this day, I have never seen anyone go so fucking red as me mate did that day-the bizzies, the stewards and everyone in the queue were laughing their fucking heads off at him.
Stevie lad, if your reading this I apologise for breaking the vow of silence you swore us all to on that day.....