Thanks a lot for the support guys - it's really appreciated.
She was put to sleep at 6:00 this evening. I couldn't bare going but it was apparently very peaceful and she purred all the way through. She is now downstairs waiting to be buried once the rain dies down tomorrow morning.
At least she will be in the place she loved and has lived all her life forever more. .
TPA - your cat is exactly like Bella's brother - such a beautiful little Tabby. His name is Harry and he's as fit and healthy as ever . . He's very independent and often out hunting but he greeted me at my car as soon as I came back home. I'm dreading the day i have to go through this with him as well Terrisus . . Keep yours close, love them and treat them like the Kings they are.
I was with my cat when he was put to sleep. I was there holding his paw. I'm crying just thinking about it. I have never felt like such a failure in my life, and never have since then. The look he gave me, like "You always took care of me. What's happening? Please do something. I just want to be with you. I don't want to leave you." He relied on me to take care of him, and I failed him. I know I shouldn't look at it that way - we did all that we could and more. But, I just felt so horrible then. I don't think I've ever really recovered from it.
I was there when our dog that we had when I was born was put to sleep when I was 8. She was basically blind and deaf by that point. That was painful, but it didn't impact me in nearly the same way. I was there with my wife when her dog - who she had since a year or two before meeting me - was put to sleep, and that was sad too. He had hip problems, but he was 13, which was a fairly full life for him.
My cats both have beds right next to my computer, and they spend a large portion of the day there. Shadow is a guard cat, and keeps an eye out for anything going on, and growls if he hears something out of the ordinary. When I was in the hospital after my stroke, he sat on one of my shirts waiting for me practically the entire time I was gone (a month and a half). And now, he gets extremely anxious if he can't find me or get to me - even if I'm just in another room. Fenway more does his own thing, but he's been sitting there watching me cry just now, looking at me like I'm a weirdo (granted, I am).
I seriously don't know what I'm ever going to do when they pass away, if it happens before I do. Especially if it's a decision I have to make, as opposed to happening naturally. I would gladly go in either of their places.
Sorry, I know this all probably isn't helping when you're dealing with what you're going through. I'm sure you treated yours wonderfully, though. And I try to do the best that I can for mine. I certainly spoil them rotten (no children, so I guess I'm a crazy cat person, with all of that focused on 2 cats instead of 20).
