Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Oh Jim.  You're such a hopeless romantic.  Carl's Best Mate and Carl's Nana.  A somewhat unusual combination ...... Well I'm game if Benny is.   

I’m open to new impressions...

[Maggie May]

I’m open to new impressions...

         Ooooooooh  Young Man    

[24/7]

        Ooooooooh  Young Man    

Which one are YOU then, Mags?

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

/snip

[Maggie May]

Which one are YOU then, Mags?

I'm the one taking the picture of course, ya cheeky young fucker. 

Don't you bloody start as well.  He's bad enough as it is without your encouragement thank you very much 

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Don't you bloody start as well.  He's bad enough as it is without your encouragement thank you very much 

[Billy The Kid]

Just out of curiosity guys, what age was Carl when he passed away?

He was around 45 right?

[AndyInVA]

Just out of curiosity guys, what age was Carl when he passed away?

He was around 45 right?

45

https://www.tfsfuneralservices.co.uk/obituary/2017/11/17/carl-simon-anthony-van-riel/

[Billy The Kid]

45

Sound, I was just curious

[AndyInVA]

I searched him ages ago after he passed and his real name was posted on RAWK.

We had messaged a few times down the years and shared a few stories but I wouldn't say we were close.

Seeing his face looking healthy and seeing an actual obituary was truly shocking. Made everything very real.

Sad.

[24/7]

Am going next week to visit where his ashes are buried and see the headstone you all paid for. Will pass on RAWK's best wishes downwards

In other news, I'm told that Gibson the cat also passed away recently

RIP Gibson......YNWA

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Am going next week to visit where his ashes are buried and see the headstone you all paid for. Will pass on RAWK's best wishes downwards

In other news, I'm told that Gibson the cat also passed away recently

RIP Gibson......YNWA

I’m sure Carl will appreciate the perpetual company of Gibson...

At the risk of sounding like a twat: August 1973 to November 2017 makes him 44, doesn’t it? 🤔

[Maggie May]

You ain't a twat - well not in this particular instance anyway. 

[lauz]

Fucking hell, haven't logged on here for over 2 years to read that HF is dead.

RIP

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

You ain't a twat - well not in this particular instance anyway. 

  

[Nobby Reserve]

At this point Carl might say something like Get A Room You Two. But he can't  So I will. Get a room you two.

A room or a white Cavalier?

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

SO.... How are you guys doing?

I'm still hanging on to my self-imposed "no alcohol" policy and I feel great! Today is day no. 79 without it and honestly, I don't miss it anymore. I never thought I should say/write this but I dont!

Have a lovely day lads and lasses!

[24/7]

Nigh swan Tom

[A-Bomb]

SO.... How are you guys doing?

I'm still hanging on to my self-imposed "no alcohol" policy and I feel great! Today is day no. 79 without it and honestly, I don't miss it anymore. I never thought I should say/write this but I dont!

Have a lovely day lads and lasses!

Nice one mate i've someway to go to catch up with that! Only on day 8.....also cut the ciggies right out / down.... had maybe 5 in the last week trying to go cold turkey...

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Nice one mate i've someway to go to catch up with that! Only on day 8.....also cut the ciggies right out / down.... had maybe 5 in the last week trying to go cold turkey...

Great to hear that, Alex!! Hang in there! The first 2 weeks were the worst for me (both alcohol and cutting the ciggies).

One day at a time, mate!

[24/7]

More power to your elbows, gents.

No, I'm not encouraging you to masturbate.

Certainly not each other.

(Stop giggling at the back!)

Seriously though, it's great to see more people fighting the issues head on. Keep going!

[redk84]

Day 1 is today.

Not an alcohol issue as such (in terms of health)....more marital.

So 1 year without a drop is the task given.

In terms of when im by myself, not an issue.
When with others....then yeah....issue. Will suck to not be able to enjoy a drink or two, but I guess that's how i've ended up in this position.

Social network is mostly made up of drinkers and at the moment im determined but i know i'll be tested along the way.

Wish me luck! Advice welcome

[redbyrdz]

Day 1 is today.

Not an alcohol issue as such (in terms of health)....more marital.

So 1 year without a drop is the task given.

In terms of when im by myself, not an issue.
When with others....then yeah....issue. Will suck to not be able to enjoy a drink or two, but I guess that's how i've ended up in this position.

Social network is mostly made up of drinkers and at the moment im determined but i know i'll be tested along the way.

Wish me luck! Advice welcome

That doesn't sound like you actually want to quit. Sorry.

Good luck!

[AndyInVA]

Day 1 is today.

Not an alcohol issue as such (in terms of health)....more marital.

So 1 year without a drop is the task given.

In terms of when im by myself, not an issue.
When with others....then yeah....issue. Will suck to not be able to enjoy a drink or two, but I guess that's how i've ended up in this position.

Social network is mostly made up of drinkers and at the moment im determined but i know i'll be tested along the way.

Wish me luck! Advice welcome

Good luck with it. Everyone has their own motivations and marital is as good as any. You probably are suffering health wise but currently you are not noticing too badly.

I hope your spouse is supportive and is not sarcastic about you quitting.

I know when I was drinking I was a bit of an ass when I was drunk in public.

Heres to never having anything to apologize for the next day.

[rusty-la]

Fucking hell, haven't logged on here for over 2 years to read that HF is dead.

RIP

Yeah I did something similar.  I still read RAWK but I don't post the gibberish nonsense I used to.   When I read about Carl....and the heart felt words from his family and the people in here.  A real shock, good to see thats he's still remembered In this thread, he was one Crazy Cat.

[Billy The Kid]

Day 1 is today.

Not an alcohol issue as such (in terms of health)....more marital.

So 1 year without a drop is the task given.

In terms of when im by myself, not an issue.
When with others....then yeah....issue. Will suck to not be able to enjoy a drink or two, but I guess that's how i've ended up in this position.

Social network is mostly made up of drinkers and at the moment im determined but i know i'll be tested along the way.

Wish me luck! Advice welcome

Mate I can categorically tell you, with almost near certainty, that if you continue hanging around with your drinking buddies, then your chances of staying sober are 0%

You'll be lucky to make 90 days sober, let alone 12 months

The degree of your willingness to fuck your drinking pals off will be in direct correlation to how serious you actually are about doing this

I'd start there if I was you. Start with some house cleaning in your social circle

Use this thread as often as possible. It will help

Good luck

[24/7]

Echo that.

And 90 days is a great benchmark...

Change your social circle if you really want to change your lifestyle.

Oh and support from your partner will be critical.

Come here for support, if you feel an urge to 'give in' shout for help........

Walk on.

[redk84]

Thanks...I mean..

the social circle thing. I dont hang out with them as much as I used to anyway.....its just when we meet its usually a boozy one. There's ones i trust  who are the ones i see on their own without alcohol, and i know with them all i'll get is a few queries on why im doing it then they will just be ok with it and leave me be....so in those events ill just stick to them to be honest.

That doesn't sound like you actually want to quit. Sorry.

And yeah you're right....
I had a different idea on how to deal with this. I have already cut my intake down to basically once every couple weeks...and for atleast 2/3 years this has been where im at. But problem with that was, when I had a bit more than I could take, usually at these big events, with my new-found low tolerance:

I was a bit of an ass

This ^

So my wife has had to put up with the shit end of the stick. I mean I should be atleast be able to remember what Im doing/saying on any given night out!....So im trying to solve this the way she wants....rather than me doing it the way I want.

End of the day, its not a bad thing she's suggesting ! Will try go at it positively....i mean it probably is more work on myself which i need to do without alcohol clouding things anyway right?

Sorry for going on.....

Appreciate the encouragement. Maybe 90 days is a good target to start with, and then take it from there.
Will read through this thread also, maybe put some perspective on what Im doing...

[redk84]

Erm yeah. So just read the last 5 pages and reading my first post embarrasses me a bit

I am a weekend drinker I guess....but still, 90 days, will take this seriously and seems more and more like my wife was defo onto something here. This could be really good for me.

Am sure it will be tough but thanks to all who have posted here so that I could even read through their experiences

[AndyInVA]

Don't do 90 days. Do one day (then repeat).

Slightly different mind set but quite important I think, makes the task less daunting.

Billy is right. You need to ditch the temptations which include your mates on boozy nights.

I swear the relief of waking up on a Saturday or Sunday knowing that you have nothing to apologize for or try to remember from the night before is priceless.

[24/7]

Erm yeah. So just read the last 5 pages and reading my first post embarrasses me a bit

I am a weekend drinker I guess....but still, 90 days, will take this seriously and seems more and more like my wife was defo onto something here. This could be really good for me.

Am sure it will be tough but thanks to all who have posted here so that I could even read through their experiences

Please don't feel embarrassed. This thread is here to inspire and motivate people towards decisions that improve their lives. I like Andy's take on it. He and Billy and Alex and countless others inspired and motivated others, they're inspiring and motivating you to make a massive difference - and, if you allow it, it IS a massive difference!

I'm not 100% teetotal, but fuck me, my relationship to alcohol has changed beyond recognition.

This is part of Carl's legacy - and his family very much agrees. Keep us posted mate - cos after 90 days, if you allow it to happen, you won't want a drink, you won't miss one, and when you sup up again, it'll taste different - and the chances are you won't like it. That's a result to look forward to eh?

Even moreso will be the difference it makes to you physiologically and emotionally, which people will notice, including your wife.

[TepidT2O]

I don’t suffer from addiction (so I may be talking bollocks, if so I apologise).  But I have had family members who have.

One thing I’ve always noticed is that guilt or shame or lack of self worth are key issues that stop people are addressing the issue.

My brother was ashamed of being alcoholic and so never really faced up to the problem ...(although it wasn’t his only problem).

Looking from the outside I see only strength in admitting that you have an issue...

[24/7]

Looking from the outside I see only strength in admitting that you have an issue...

Beautifully put

[AndyInVA]

I'm not 100% teetotal, but fuck me, my relationship to alcohol has changed beyond recognition.

after three year sober Ive ended up in the same place. And similarly the relationship with booze has changed beyond recognition. No desire to get wasted, can watch an England game home alone and have one beer in the second half, then go back to do some work when the game is over. Can't stand people who just want to get wasted in public anymore and I have not had to say sorry to anyone, especially those I love, since I felt this way.

Good luck to you.

From my experience when I was in your position, I tried to drink less several times. It never ever worked. I only noticed a difference when I severed the relationship with alcohol and then after a couple of years to get it out of my system and me to change how I feel about booze and more importantly how I felt about myself after booze took away this curtain of never having to really look at myself because I just got wasted when I was unhappy.

[spen71]

Why two penny worth and it echos what others have said.    If you want to quit the booze you must want to change.  No half measures, put the drink drink down and don’t pick it up again.    In my seven and 1/2 years sober I’ve lost count of the amount of people who have thought it was ok and they were “cured”.    They have within a few weeks they have been drinking worse than ever.

Also you need to change your social circle     I’ve missed uni reunions, 50th birthday Parties etc     It’s not my scene anymore and not worth the risk.    Lastly, find a hobby and exercise.    I started running and still do now.

[Dan6times]

Well I'm finally here, I come here regularly after a heavy binge session to make myself feel better but never posted. I wanted to read other peoples problems because it made me feel like they were a lot worse than me and therefore pretend to myself I didn't have a problem. I now know i do. I'm a weekend drinker, sometimes could be Fri, Sat & Sunday and other times I might just get 6 cans on a Sat night but every weekend I have to have a drink. My tolerance for alcohol has been one of the major issues, 6/8/10 pints or cans means nothing to me anymore and the pace i drink them at is also a huge issue . The next issue I noticed over the last few months was my sleep, after a heavy session I wont sleep at all on the Monday night and very poor sleep on the Tuesday night. I don't get the "horrors" as such just no sleep and rushed thoughts going through my head. I'm not the worst drunk in the world, I'll tend to go out early and go home early, I wouldn't fight or get sick so thankfully I dont make a total show of myself. Issue number 3 is that I always find myself thinking like this on Monday & Tuesday but when the hangover and anxiety wears off on Thursday/Friday I'm back on track for another weekend and just repeat it all again (its no surprise I'm writing this on a Tuesday). Issue number 4 is my lifestyle during the week is deteriorating, my diet is poor after drinking and my performance at work is dropping. With Liverpool back in a few weeks I know that will be another challenge as I'll drink a lot more when they are on, If i drink Sat night I'll almost certainly drink early Sunday morning, I find it hard to stay in to second day

That's my situation, I'm going to try and go at this alone before I seek professional help. My main goals at the moment is to have a better relationship with alcohol and reduce my intake when I do drink and to stay in this weekend without any drink being consumed.

[Billy The Kid]

Best of luck Dan. Pop in here whenever you feel like sharing

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

So..... Back from holiday.

I've been on a 85 self imposed break from alcohol which I extended to 91 days before I tried my first beer on my holiday. It was ok - not great like I'd expected it to be. Had one more the night after for the second semi of the WC and that was it. Fast forward one week and we meet up with some friends in France and the first night got a bit out of hand. I got far more drunk than I wanted to but the beer hit me harder than I expected. Woke up next morning - not hungover but the missus commented on my state the night before.

I'm now back home and I've started my swerving again. No more alcohol until Christmas. I know I can do it. Add to this a promise/deal with the missus that we're taking our training/eating/exorcising even more serious so we can lose some weight. By Christmas I should be at least 10 kilos lighter.

Good luck everyone!

[Johnnyboy1973]

Add to this a promise/deal with the missus that we're taking our exorcising even more serious so we can lose some weight.

These newfangled diets.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

These newfangled diets.

Naaaah. More like being aware of what you put in your mouth. (Not that the missus should consider that ALL the time though... )

So more veggies and meat and less of the sugary and starch rich foods like pasta, white bread etc. I can easy live on veggies and meat. I love chicken and all kinds of fish/sea foods.