Topic: The Simpsons - The Blurst of thread

[Tarpaulin]

When someone says "Whats yer favourite Simpsons episode" it opens up a whole world of problems. Such a hugely popular programme, so many quality episodes, and so many memorable moments...its hard to pin it down to one particular scene, or episode.

This thread is not to pull out the ONE great Simpsons episode or quote...but to be able to put forward the best bits of what has been a classic piece of Television over the past decade and a bit.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."

Homer: Okay Marge, its your child against my child. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!



Homer: Homer no function beer well without.

Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers:You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr.Burns: Precisely.

Mr. Burns: Smithers there's a rocket in my pocket.



Burns: Smithers, I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: Yes, sir.
Burns: Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: No, sir. Who would you like killed?


***************************************************************

Those should get the ball rolling..... 

[ttnbd]

I have two favourite openings for the simpsons, they are the Flintstones Parody and the Indiana Jones Parody.  Both are quality.

[America's Sweetheart]

One of my favourites is the one where they get snowed into the school. - Skinners Sense Of Snow.

"Okay, Skinner, that's the last time you'll slap your Willie around" -Willie

"Chew through my ball sack" -Skinner

[SJL]

(Ralph shows Bart a rock)
Ralph: This is where I saw the leprechaun
Bart: Riiight
Ralph: He told me to burn things.

(After Homer returns the helper monkey because it has become fat and lazy)
Cordinator: Mojo, what have they done to you?
(The co-ordinator gives Mojo a keyboard device, and he types a message)
Computer Voice: Pray For Mojo.

(Homer decides to sell springs off the back of Springfields bid for the Olympics)
Homer: My springs! They finally came!
Marge: But we lost the Olympics to Shelbyville
Homer: Yeah, but I should have no problem selling a thousand springs
Marge: To who?
Homer: Idiots!
(Homer starts to play with the springs)
Homer: ooh, these are fun!

[halfpoundcheesy]

Homer: Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what's-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you?

------------------------------------------

Kent Brockman: Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch

[Mirra]

Comic Book guy- Within seconds I was registering my distaste on the internet

(forgot what he didnt like though)

Homer- Those are make believe Lisa, like Eskimos (I Think that was it i cant remember)

Mr Burns mind eraser device aka the Revolver was class too 

[DK]

Not great with quotes, but the episode where Homer thinks Bart is gay is very clever.

[Joff]

I know the point of this wasn't to say your fave shows, but:

Homer the Heretic.

Homer v the Stonecutters. Personal fave.

[Brick Tamland]

sooo many quotes, sooo many episodes.
Love it. 

[Rushback]

Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss? Barney says "Maybe your standards are too high!" You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!

[cynicaloldgit]

I posted a "Five best episodes" thread on the .tv website a few weeks ago.

Here are mine:

1. Bart's Girlfriend
2. El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer
3. Trilogy of Error
4. Boy-Scoutz 'N' The Hood
5. 22 Short Films About Springfield.

[sammyboy]

sooo many quotes, sooo many episodes.
Love it. 

Is right! Fan-bloody-tastic stuff! Even if I've seen 'em a million times, I'll watch again and laugh!

[Ian-TN]

The Max Power episode is one of the best they did.

"Max Power, great name!"
"Thanks, I got it off a hairdrier"

The names for Marge that Homer gets. Hooty McBoob.

The song Homer makes up for him as well. "Max Power it's the name yer wanna touch, but yer mustn't touch"

Or the best one from it: "You don't snuggle with Max Power. You strap yerself and FEEL THE G's"

 

[Tarpaulin]

Or the best one from it: "You don't snuggle with Max Power. You strap yerself and FEEL THE G's"

 

 

[rednile]

Favourite Simpson's episode is the one with Homer challenging everyone to a dual. classic , glove slap

[mr_mad_master]

The episode where Bart join's the scouts and homer doesnt like it the line went a bit like

Bart:Dad theres a father son camp coming up...

Homer:Hahahahahaha you dont have a son
 

[Jon G]

Welcome to Springfield.

No fat chicks !

[cynicaloldgit]

The episode where Bart join's the scouts and homer doesnt like it the line went a bit like

Bart:Dad theres a father son camp coming up...

Homer:Hahahahahaha you dont have a son
 

That's Boy-Scoutz N The Hood, great episode.

[PhilB]

Homer: Hello my name is Mr Burns, i belive you have a letter for me
Cashier: Ok Mr Burns what is your first name
Homer: I dont know

[Joff]

Homer: Hello my name is Mr Burns, i belive you have a letter for me
Cashier: Ok Mr Burns what is your first name
Homer: I dont know

Cried with laughter first time I saw that.

[Walton_Gary]

Ive got two fav episodes, The Stone Cutters and The Springfield Files

Springfield files

Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice... like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night... like Urkel!

Wiggum: Well, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, uh, Simpson. So, I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter! [Wiggum raises his arms and starts typing on air in sarcasm] [starts humming]

Homer: You don't have to humiliate me. [Homer walks off, and another man walks in, wearing slightly burned clothes and playing compulsively with a lighter]

Man: I just torched a building downtown, and I'm afraid I'll do it again!

Wiggum: Oh, yeah, right. I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter! [goes through the same sarcastic routine] Fruitcake!
 

Homer the great

Bart: Dad, you remember those self-hypnosis courses we took to help us ignore Grandpa?
Homer: Do I ever! It's five years later, and I still think I'm a chicken! (to Marge) I'm a chicken, Marge!
 

http://www.tvtome.com/Simpsons/eplist.html

[-HH-]

Homer with medical marijuana is a quality episode, but then there are so fucking many.

"I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there please save me superman."

"Hi Principal Skinner. Hi SuperNintendo Chalmers."

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help videos as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get Confident, Stupid!'"

"Troy, this circle is you" "My God, it's like you've known me my whole life."

"Troy McClure? You told me he was dead." "No. What I said was he sleeps with the fishes."

[SJL]

Nearly forgot this one.

Hutz:  Uh - Oh, we've drawn judge snider(sp?)  He's kinda had it in for him since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: Really?
Hutz: Well replace the word kinda with the word repeatedly, and the word dog with son.

[PhilB]

Nearly forgot this one.

Hutz:  Uh - Oh, we've drawn judge snider(sp?)  He's kinda had it in for him since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: Really?
Hutz: Well replace the word kinda with the word repeatedly, and the word dog with son.

Hahaha that one is genius.

[Ian-TN]

The one where they come to England and get greeted by Blair at the airport. When Blair leaves Homer goes:

"Wow, I can't believe we've meet Mr. Bean"   

[Wholey]

You don't really appreciate how funny The Simpsons is until you read a thread like this.

Nearly forgot this one.

Hutz:  Uh - Oh, we've drawn judge snider(sp?)  He's kinda had it in for him since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: Really?
Hutz: Well replace the word kinda with the word repeatedly, and the word dog with son.

 

[Ian-TN]

Just found a few then.

Lisa: As you know, we've been swimming. And we've developed a taste for it. We agree that getting our own pool is the way to go. Now before you respond, you should know that your refusal will result in months and months of...
Bart, Lisa: CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad?
Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.


Billy Corgan: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.
Homer: Homer Simpson, smiling politely.


Homer: Uh, I need to borrow $5000.
Bank Clerk: Sorry, I can't approve a loan that big myself. I'll have to get someone with authority.
Mr. Burns: Hello!
Homer: Mr. Burns! You do this personally?
Mr. Burns: Well, it's sort of a hobby, you know. Now, what's this? You want to borrow $5000 to buy a pony? Smithers, isn't that wonderful! He's joining the horsey clan!
That is it, isn't it? You're not going to eat it, are you?
Homer: No! I need $5000 to buy a pony for my daughter because she doesn't love me anymore...
Smither: Shut up, Simpson! Do you have any collateral?
Mr. Burns: Oh, Smithers, let's not badger the man! His spirit is my collateral!
By the way, are you familiar with our state's anti-usury laws?
Homer: Us-ury?
Mr. Burns: Oh, silly me! I must have just used a word that doesn't exist. Sign here!


The Simpsons are housesitting at Mr. Burns' mansion. They are eating dinner at Mr. Burns' oversized dinner table
Marge: This all seems a little elaborate for Sloppy Joes. I know what the other 12 forks are for, but I don't know what to do with this one.
Homer: Why Marge my dear, I believe you are supposed to scratch your ass with it.

[Ian-TN]

Mulder: Mr. Simpson, we want you to recreate your every move the night you saw the alien.
Homer: The evening began at the gentlemen's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. Happy?


Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.


Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.


Dealer: 19.
Homer: Hit me.
Dealer: 20.
Homer: Hit me.
Dealer: 21.
Homer: Hit me.
Dealer: 22.
Homer: D'oh!


Lisa: I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a brand new protractor.
Homer: Too bad we don't live on a farm.


Homer: God is teasing me. Just like he teased Moses in the desert.
Marge: Tested, Homer. God tested Moses.


Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!


Marge: Bart's such a handful, and Maggie needs attention, but all the while, our little Lisa's becoming a young woman.
Homer: Oh, so that's it, this is some kind of underwear thing.


Homer is applying for a job as a department store Santa Claus
Manager: Do you like children?
Homer: What do you mean, all the time? Even when they're nuts?


Dr. Hibbert: Homer, I'm afraid you'll have to undergo a coronary bypass operation.
Homer: Say it in English, Doc.
Dr. Hibbert: You're going to need open-heart surgery.
Homer: Spare me your medical mumbo-jumbo.
Dr. Hibbert: We're going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker.
Homer: Could you dumb it down a shade?


Homer: I'll never wiggle my bare butt in public again.
Lisa: I'd like to believe that this time. I really would.


Lisa: Relax? I can't relax. Nor can I yield, relent, or... Only two synonyms? Oh my God, I'm losing my perspicacity. Aaaaa!
Homer: Well, it's always in the last place you look.


Homer: If he didn't steal the church collection plate money, why is he wearing those fancy clothes?
Marge: Those were the clothes he wore to church.
Homer: Oooooh, how convenient.


Homer: Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."


Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.


Homer: Homer no function beer well without.


Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.


Homer: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?


Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.


Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old. Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk.
Homer: And how!


Drill Sergeant: Look soldier, you don't like me, and I don't like you.
Homer: I like you.
Drill Sergeant: Well, I don't like you.
Homer: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me better.


Bart: I think sharing is overrated too. And helping others. And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?
Homer: Your ideas are intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.


Looking at Uruguay on a map
Homer: Heehee. Look at this country. "You are gay."

[Monty.]

Love them all and some crackers posted here.

I have two favourite bits though, one is when Homer takes on 2 jobs (may well be the one where he buys Lisa a pony) and lies in bed only for the alarm to go off so he gets straight back up again. He then falls asleep on his car horn 

Ralph is one of my favourite characters and I love the episode based on David & Goliath when Bart says, "Ralph! I thought you were dead!"

Ralph replies...."Nope!" 

[Guz-kop]

Cracking quotes 

Love the episode where they goto Australia and Bart's playing with a pocket knife when some local comes up and says

"You call that a knife, this is a knife"
"That's a spoon"
"Oh, I see you've played knifey-spoony before" 

Also some other great random ones

Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Homer: Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Bart: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know.

Homer: A woman is a lot like a refrigerator.  6 feet tall, 300 pounds ... it makes ice.

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."

Haven't read every quHomer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."

[Walton_Gary]

Scully: Now, we're going to run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I'll ask you a few yes or no questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?

Homer: Yes. [the polygraph explodes]

 

[paulrazor]

th trampoline episode

"one day youll rot, rot i tells ya a hha ha aha oh hah h ah ha ha ha!"

[SJL]

Ned: Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they came to your aid. Be they Christian, Jew, or... miscellaneous.
Apu: Hindu! There are 700 million of us.
Rev. Lovejoy: Aw, that's super.

Bart: What'd you do? Screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus?
Homer: All the time. It was the title of our second album.

Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah?
Homer: See, I got this friend named... Joey Jo Jo... Junior... Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
Some Guy runs out of the bar sobbing
Barney: Hey! Joey Jo Jo!

Homer: I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge Simpson: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how.

Homer: I'm not normally a praying man but if you're up there, save me Superman!

Maude: They were having S-E-X in front of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!

[Guz-kop]

One from that tennis episode on the other night

Homer : Who are you?
Aggasi : I'm Andre Agassi
Homer : The wrestler?

 

[PhilB]

Just watching it on sky one now,One of the best episodes, the beer barron one.

[Brick Tamland]

Just watching it on sky one now,One of the best episodes, the beer barron one.

"I'll get you beer barron....."

"No you wont......."

Class episode.

[PortlandRed]

Fav quotes

Homer - "Here's to alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems"

Ralph - "My cat's breath smells like cat food"

Mr. Burns - "I'm a big boy"

Homer - "Ooh, they have the internet on computers now?"

Homer - "*gasp* This man is my exact double, *gasp*, that dog has a puffy tail.  Here puff"

Mr. Burns - "Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons"

[Brick Tamland]

"To start press any key.  Where's the 'any' key!?  Oooh! I think I'll order a Tab.  Uh oh, no time for a Tab - the computer's starting!"

[WelshSpikeyMike]

"I'm Troy McClure, and I'll leave you with what we all came to see... hardcore nudity!" - Troy McClure (sp?)

"Yarr.... I'm, not attractive" - Sea Captain

*Lie-detecter test for Moe*
"Do you hold a grudge against Montgomary Burns?
No!
*Buzz*
Alright maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him.
*Ting*
Checks out... ok sir, you're free to go...
Good, cos I got a hot date tonight!
*Buzz*
A date...
*Buzz*
Dinner with friends...
*Buzz*
Dinner alone...
*Buzz*
Watching TV alone...
*Buzz*
Alright! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria secret catologue... *buzz*... CS catalogue
*ting*
Now would you unhook this already please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment... *buzz*...

Gotta love Moe! 

[paulrazor]

funs over fellas. starrt on my friend its a 2 drink minimum