Week 4- Obituary & WEEK 4 Commissioner's Waiver Wire ListSimon Says Statto Slashed by Roster Slip“To drive free, to love free, to court destruction with taunts, to feed the remainder of life with one hour of fullness and freedom - one brief hour of madness and joy.” ― Walt WhitmanYou Didn't Say Simon SaysIt is a difficult feat to taunt death twice and live. Only a few get away with it. Josey Wales, Charlie Daniels and Keith Richards! But our Statto Red's approach to start/sit decisions led to his demise.
Our man in statistics stayed afloat for 3 weeks taunting the league and rules. Up until the end, he was warned of a runaway roster with CoVid issues and injuries permeating the NFL this week. And yet, Statto decided to brave the Glistening Guillotined waters with 75% of his roster playing.
Unfortunately for all the underdogs in the world, Statto died yesterday from an acute case of having no head, with some saying he lost it up "you know where". No need to besmirch such an interesting character who was able to stay alive for 4 weeks without really grasping the rules.
Statto Red, as his friends called him, was a gentle soul, but had a fierce flicker in his ticker burning like Keelan Cole.
Alas, Statto met his maker with 75 points and bench full of 25. This would not have been enough to hold off the executioners we have come to adore, but he did leave his relative the $1000 that went unspent on waivers.
The last two deaths in our guillotine league have been due to missing "dead"lines and not understanding how crucial one's head attached can be in defeating your opponents.
We should give thanks to our fallen - Statto Red, Gerrence, Buckmaster Pete, and Carl Champion of Champions, and remember nothing is forever. In fact some here might be seeing a few of these lads soon. Bring a hat.
Statto Red left his heirs a plethora of talent. Mahomes, Metcalf and Godwin and a few good defenses are up for the taking. Make sure you read the tea leaves this week with Tennessee Titans and other CoVid outbreaks as this could be crucial.
Additionally, make sure you "pay" special attention to this weeks waiver wire bidding, because a poor choice here or a missed gem there could lead to "REGENERATION" and new life for dead meat............... Bwhahahaha
Prepare your Bids for the Following PlayersStatto's Team Waiver List Waiver Wire Performers Week 4 Waiver Wire Week 5 Projected PerformersPatrick Mahomes - QB Tom Brady Jarret Goff
Austin Ekeler- RB Melvin Gordon Ben Roethlisberger
Cam Akers- RB Ted Bridgewater Jimmy Garoppolo
Chris Godwin- WR CeeDee Lamb Todd Gurley
Stefon Diggs- WR Tim Patrick David Johnson
TJ Hockenson- TE Ryan Fitzpatrick Julian Edelman
DJ Metcalf- WR Justin Herbert DJ Moore
Jarvis Landry- WR Gardner Minshew AJ Brown
Malcomb Brown-RB Sam Darnold Darius Slayton
San Francisco- DEF Matt Stafford Tyler Boyd
New Orleans - DEF Antonio Gibson David Montgomery
David Carr Ronald Jones
Carson Wentz Josh Kelley
Tra'Quan Smith Hayden Hurst
Robert Tonyan Dalton Schultz
**** All moves after the waiver process is closed this week are to be completed after Frankenstein Re-entry draft.... No pickups on Thursday or Friday for non-bidded players until all teams have been filled from waivers.
**** CoVid Injury List Expansion - Diontae Johnson, Hunter Henry, Derrick Henry, Jonnu Smith and James Conner are not available to anyone other than their current owners. They know who they are