Author Topic: Wasps  (Read 78897 times)

Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: wasps
« Reply #160 on: September 9, 2011, 06:58:10 pm »
I am allergic as fuck to wasps. I carry an adrenaline injector + antihistamine tablets with all summer long until the fuckers have died in the autumn. Doc says if I get stung it's inject the adrenaline, swallow a tablet and call the ambulance. No need to get all hero-like and drive to the hospital myself in case I get an anaphylactic shock http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anaphylaxis. I've never been allergic to the fuckers up until 4 years ago. Before that I was very allergic to grass but that has completely stopped and apparently changed into wasp allergy.

I hate them fuckers! :no

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Re: wasps
« Reply #161 on: September 9, 2011, 07:07:29 pm »
I am allergic as fuck to wasps. I carry an adrenaline injector + antihistamine tablets with all summer long until the fuckers have died in the autumn. Doc says if I get stung it's inject the adrenaline, swallow a tablet and call the ambulance. No need to get all hero-like and drive to the hospital myself in case I get an anaphylactic shock http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anaphylaxis. I've never been allergic to the fuckers up until 4 years ago. Before that I was very allergic to grass but that has completely stopped and apparently changed into wasp allergy.

I hate them fuckers! :no

How did you discover that? Were you stung and suffered a reaction?

Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: wasps
« Reply #162 on: September 9, 2011, 07:14:15 pm »
How did you discover that? Were you stung and suffered a reaction?

Was stung in my left index finger when I reached behind myself to close the door to my garden. Within an hour my thumb and index finger was swollen, I had a rash all over my body and the next morning my left hand literally looked like an inflated rubber glove. I couldn't even get my watch off my hand... Later that summer I got stung again in my right foot whilst mowing the lawn and I had to wear flip flops for 2 weeks. After that I went to the doc and he tested me for wasps and bees. I am 9.8 times as allergic to wasps as "normal" humans and 1.3 times as allergic to bees as "normal" humans...

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Re: wasps
« Reply #163 on: September 30, 2011, 08:55:40 pm »

A twat landed on my hand on Monday, I flicked it off and walked in to the office, within seconds I felt this burning on my stomach inside my shirt. The twat must have come right back and crawled in my shirt and stung me a thousand times. I've had a rash the size of Wales and skin the texture of a fucking Bisan since. A bad reaction to it, 5 days later and the discomfort has gone but its as itchy as fuck.


No one has given as shit either  :P   :P   :wave

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Re: wasps
« Reply #164 on: September 30, 2011, 08:58:36 pm »
I am allergic as fuck to wasps. I carry an adrenaline injector + antihistamine tablets with all summer long until the fuckers have died in the autumn.
Good job I killed this one for you mate, I wrestled with it for ages, you'd have needed an emergency helicopter if this vicious bastard had got to you before I stood on the fucker.

It had a sting like David Ngog knob!

Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: wasps
« Reply #165 on: October 1, 2011, 09:26:30 pm »
Good job I killed this one for you mate, I wrestled with it for ages, you'd have needed an emergency helicopter if this vicious bastard had got to you before I stood on the fucker.

It had a sting like David Ngog knob!

You, sir, are a good man! :thumbup

Offline Ziltoid

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Re: wasps
« Reply #166 on: October 1, 2011, 09:59:41 pm »
Stung tonight by a big fucker right on the thumb on the outside just below the join, the mrs fault trying to kill it with a plastic cup rather than twatting it with a large book.  in pain and typing with one hand.  all fingers swelled up but got the frozen peas on it to keep swelling down.

killed the fucker 20 minutes later.

Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: wasps
« Reply #167 on: October 2, 2011, 12:07:37 am »
Stung tonight by a big fucker right on the thumb on the outside just below the join, the mrs fault trying to kill it with a plastic cup rather than twatting it with a large book.  in pain and typing with one hand.  all fingers swelled up but got the frozen peas on it to keep swelling down.

killed the fucker 20 minutes later.

No itching rashes on you yet? If not you're probably not too allergic to them but be aware... Hope your hand gets better soon! :wave

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Re: wasps
« Reply #168 on: October 2, 2011, 06:44:52 am »
Love the fuckers because they keep my plants clean of bugs and white worms.  :thumbup ;)

Don't love them during harvest time.

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Re: wasps
« Reply #169 on: October 2, 2011, 08:22:46 am »
Got stung in the hand yesterday. There was a wasp on the handle of a rake in the shed and when I picked it up the fucker stung me.

Still uncomfortable now.
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Offline Ziltoid

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Re: wasps
« Reply #170 on: October 2, 2011, 02:46:48 pm »
Thumb is still painful.  The buzzy twat.

Offline Il Conte

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Re: wasps
« Reply #171 on: May 17, 2012, 02:28:14 pm »
Had a fucker sneak up on me just now, size of an airbus. Let nature have its' course by smashing it with a big book. Hate them!

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Re: wasps
« Reply #172 on: May 17, 2012, 03:51:17 pm »
Never been stung by them, still petrified of the bastards.

Offline pistolpete

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Re: wasps
« Reply #173 on: May 17, 2012, 04:28:47 pm »
was once stung by a wasp whilst eating some chips. i did nothing to provoke it, f*cker wouldnt leave me alone = vendetta wasp.
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Offline Ziltoid

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Re: wasps
« Reply #174 on: May 17, 2012, 04:29:51 pm »
2 large fuckers in the office the last few days.  both smashed with a large book. Bastards cast a shadow when flying across the lights - it's like a solar eclipse when they do.

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Re: wasps
« Reply #175 on: May 17, 2012, 04:31:03 pm »
Never been stung by them, still petrified of the bastards.

Hate the bastards with a passion

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Re: wasps
« Reply #176 on: May 17, 2012, 04:50:45 pm »
2 large fuckers in the office the last few days.  both smashed with a large book. Bastards cast a shadow when flying across the lights - it's like a solar eclipse when they do.

It's the ones behind the curtains I can't stand. You know the types, you're snoozing in your pit early morning only to be woken from your slumber by a familiar buzzing sound. "Please be a fly" you think...then you see the sillhouette through the curtain/blind. It always sound extra pissed off as well, like it really wants to cause some damage.

Offline Red James

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Re: wasps
« Reply #177 on: May 17, 2012, 05:11:48 pm »
Little bastards piss me off to no end. Come summer time they come crawling out of fuck knows where to make my life a living hell. On the way back home I found one sat on the door handle and the stubborn fuck would not move for anything. I could just imagine the little shit laughing at me while I danced around it trying to get it to fuck off. After it had its fun it stung me and buzzed off.

Twat.

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Re: wasps
« Reply #178 on: May 17, 2012, 05:15:11 pm »
the bastards hate me, been stung 3 times by them, once on the side of the forehead, that hurt like a bitch for ages. the worst thing about summer.

Offline evie

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Re: wasps
« Reply #179 on: May 17, 2012, 06:07:35 pm »
Hate the bastards with a passion

Same here. When I lived in a house with my family a while back and we used to eat dinner outside in our garden, the fuckers always came to the table uninvited to nick some food. And if you didn't want to get stung, all you do was let them.

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Re: wasps
« Reply #180 on: May 17, 2012, 09:09:43 pm »
One of the c*nts flew into my bedroom and interrupted my Sunday morning lie-in the other day. Never jumped out of bed so quickly, every time I tried to get in my room to open the window and let the stupid twat out it would fly at me so I had to leg it. Had to get my mum to get rid of it. I wasn't stung but my ego was.
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Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: wasps
« Reply #181 on: June 27, 2012, 06:27:10 am »
Soon it'll be time for these little fuckers to annoy us again... Get to fuck! :no

Offline Ziltoid

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Re: wasps
« Reply #182 on: June 27, 2012, 09:18:27 am »
Prepare to be attacked by the large dozy ones

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Re: wasps
« Reply #183 on: June 27, 2012, 09:41:51 am »
On a slightly different tangent, I had the biggest bumble bee I've ever seen stuck in my house the other day. Had it been a wasp I would have bludgeoned it but being the caring sort I had to try and trap it and release it. It took quite a while and whenI finally got it in the glass (needed a pint pot!) and covered it with a magazine it was flapping about so much that I could feel really strong vibrations coming through the magazine. I thought it was going to sting me through the 128 pages of the wife's OK mag.

I could be wrong but I think it was the bee from Honey I Shrunk The Kids it was that big.

Offline scatman

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Re: wasps
« Reply #184 on: June 27, 2012, 10:52:01 am »
already had a few of these c*nts of nature buzzing around. bastards
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Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: wasps
« Reply #185 on: June 27, 2012, 04:21:30 pm »
On a slightly different tangent, I had the biggest bumble bee I've ever seen stuck in my house the other day. Had it been a wasp I would have bludgeoned it but being the caring sort I had to try and trap it and release it. It took quite a while and whenI finally got it in the glass (needed a pint pot!) and covered it with a magazine it was flapping about so much that I could feel really strong vibrations coming through the magazine. I thought it was going to sting me through the 128 pages of the wife's OK mag.

I could be wrong but I think it was the bee from Honey I Shrunk The Kids it was that big.

This big??


Offline DominicQ

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Re: wasps
« Reply #186 on: August 29, 2012, 09:58:25 am »
Got stung in the armpit this morning. Not the best way to wake up.

Offline Gods_Left_Boot

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Re: wasps
« Reply #187 on: August 29, 2012, 01:41:38 pm »
Got stung three or four times as a kid and once I had to be rushed to the hospital. Never been stung again ever since, but still scared shitless of the bastards.
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Re: wasps
« Reply #188 on: August 29, 2012, 03:16:46 pm »
c*nt 'wasp' caused me to fracture my foot a few weeks back.
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Offline Ziltoid

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Re: wasps
« Reply #190 on: August 29, 2012, 04:07:36 pm »
Not seen any this year so far.  Maybe all this wet weather is keeping the fuckers at bay.  Instead we've got slugs and snails to deal with.

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Re: wasps
« Reply #191 on: August 26, 2013, 11:58:28 am »
Just back from two weeks away, ivy at the front of our house has gone mental and loads of wasps flying in and out. Probably a nest would you say? I'm not getting up a ladder to investigate anyway!

just started cutting the grass out the back and again there are plenty buzzing about in the grass. Just gone back in to change from shorts and t shirt and our some long sleeves and trousers on. Hate the fuckers, a couple were landing on the mower to investigate, not sure I'm brave enough for gardening. :D

Offline Liamski-la

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Re: wasps
« Reply #192 on: August 26, 2013, 12:33:00 pm »
Hate wasps. Always have. We have an outdoor seating area with benches n stuff at work. Must be a best nearby because as soon as we go out with food or drink the bastards are dive bombing from all directions. I gave up and sit inside now.


Oh yeah, the daughter got stung yesterday!

She was stinking of vinegar for the next couple of hours haha!
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Re: wasps
« Reply #193 on: August 26, 2013, 12:38:31 pm »
I've given up, was tough enough just putting the mower away! Pest control man is coming tomorrow and the garden can remain looking like Keith Flint until he's worked his magic!

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Re: wasps
« Reply #194 on: August 26, 2013, 01:36:06 pm »
Wasps don't bother me, its the time of the year when the big fuck off Spiders come out and you can't get rid of them.
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Re: wasps
« Reply #195 on: August 26, 2013, 04:13:58 pm »
Wasps don't bother me, its the time of the year when the big fuck off Spiders come out and you can't get rid of them.

Fuck off with that :D

Offline Lawnmowerman

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Re: wasps
« Reply #196 on: August 26, 2013, 04:24:08 pm »
Just back from two weeks away, ivy at the front of our house has gone mental and loads of wasps flying in and out. Probably a nest would you say? I'm not getting up a ladder to investigate anyway!

just started cutting the grass out the back and again there are plenty buzzing about in the grass. Just gone back in to change from shorts and t shirt and our some long sleeves and trousers on. Hate the fuckers, a couple were landing on the mower to investigate, not sure I'm brave enough for gardening. :D
;D It's a risky business Nick. This time of the year is a mare for me when it comes to them due to mowing over apples. I guess the sweet apple scent off the mower attracts them. They even stick hovering round the mower when you're putting the mower back in the van, so then the little fuckers are in transit with you. Gruesome

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Re: wasps
« Reply #197 on: August 26, 2013, 04:33:28 pm »
;D It's a risky business Nick. This time of the year is a mare for me when it comes to them due to mowing over apples. I guess the sweet apple scent off the mower attracts them. They even stick hovering round the mower when you're putting the mower back in the van, so then the little fuckers are in transit with you. Gruesome

I have plenty of respect for you mate! just gone back and finished the mowing, what a trooper! Any idea why they seem to come out in numbers once I've started? I know this time of hear they are like delinquents getting high on apples and pears but I don't have any in my garden. I know they are looking for stuff for their nests, are grass cuttings of used to them?!

Also, does anyone know how wasps and bees get on? There are tons of both in my Virginia Creeper (sounds a bit seedy). I was hoping the bees, being good eggs in general would kick fuck out of the wasps and drive them away but they seem to be co-existing in perfect harmony sadly.

Offline Lawnmowerman

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Re: wasps
« Reply #198 on: August 26, 2013, 04:52:18 pm »
I have plenty of respect for you mate! just gone back and finished the mowing, what a trooper! Any idea why they seem to come out in numbers once I've started? I know this time of hear they are like delinquents getting high on apples and pears but I don't have any in my garden. I know they are looking for stuff for their nests, are grass cuttings of used to them?!

Also, does anyone know how wasps and bees get on? There are tons of both in my Virginia Creeper (sounds a bit seedy). I was hoping the bees, being good eggs in general would kick fuck out of the wasps and drive them away but they seem to be co-existing in perfect harmony sadly.
You're probably wearing some fancy perfume or something like that. Some nice smelling shampoo blowing through the wind. You civilians have showers in the morning, us gardeners have them at night  :D either that or they're picking up the scent of pollen off your mower

Offline The Gulleysucker

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Re: wasps
« Reply #199 on: August 26, 2013, 06:38:15 pm »
....Also, does anyone know how wasps and bees get on?

Fine most of the year until the wasps decide to raid their hives.

While there's a nest, the common wasps that you're seeing spend their time going after spiders, flies, grubs, even bits of meat left out in order to feed their larvae. So while the nest is in operation, they usually keep themselves to themselves and unless you really look for them you rarely see them earlier on in the summer. It's when the nest finishes around this time, late August-early September and the Wasp queen goes off to find herself somewhere to hibernate for the winter, that's when the bedlam of this autumn menace starts.

Since the wasps no longer have a nest and young to tend, they try and survive as individuals for as long as they can, so just as you say like a bunch of delinquents, they start looking for sweet things like nectar, ripe fruit, beer etc and will even raid bee hives for the honey. (this can all happen earlier in the year if their nests get destroyed either accidentally or deliberately)

I've been busy doing my two bee hives the last couple of days (over 70lbs of honey so far with an estimate of another 30lbs yet to be harvested - a good productive summer unlike last year) and the wasps have been a bit of a nuisance to say the least trying to freeload on the contents of the hives, the bees can do little to stop them the wasps being quite well armoured, although the wasps are actually quite useful in cleaning the frames of any residue after I've removed the honey comb off them and left them outside in the sunlight.

Many wasp nests (certainly round here) seem to have now finished just this last week so you can expect loose gangs of them loafing around with menace and extreme prejudice until the weather turns cooler later in September and into October and they gradually die off. Having said that, there still seem to be some nests in full flow round here, the wasps still busy scraping and collecting wood of the fences and garden furniture to construct their paper mache nests so depending on if we get an Indian summer, this years autumn terror might well be a long drawn out process. In general, it's been a bit of a weird year for all insect life, some things seemingly being delayed by both the last cold winter and the wet spring.

The last week we've getting quite a lot of hornets trying to come into our utility room in the evening attracted by the flourescent light in there. Big and rather angry, but very easy to catch in a jamjar and re-release outside. They all have their purpose in the scheme of things so I'm actually reluctant to kill them.
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